by Dean, Ali
“Morning. You ready to ride?”
I hop out and drop my board. “Yep.”
No one comments on me and Beck sleeping in the van together as we ride in silence across the lot. A steady beat thrums through my veins, the sign of a high I don’t usually feel unless I’m catching air or carving turns in a bowl. I’m skateboarding between Beckett Steele and Griffin Perry, with another rising star just ahead. Riptide Skatepark is empty, waiting for us. It’s the same park I fantasized about riding for years before I got accepted to Summerside U.
I imagined making friends with people who loved skateboarding like I do, and now I’ve got both girls and guys who will wake up early on the weekend with me just for this. Glancing over at Beck, who I find watching me, there’s one more thing I never could have imagined. A boyfriend who not only loves skateboarding like me but is even better than I am. He reaches out to grab my hand, squeezing it hard and then letting go as we arrive at the park.
With the entire place to ourselves, we each head in different directions to start out. When I get to my favorite spot, Riptide’s kidney shaped bowl where they had the contest yesterday, I find Beck riding beside me. We weave around each other, skating together but separately. I’m aware of him, but doing my own thing. I’ve learned so much about skating just from watching him these past few weeks. He never gives me pointers unless I ask for them, letting me do my own thing and only commenting if it’s with praise.
I don’t know how long we skate before people start showing up. Skating Riptide with the area’s top pros isn’t the same as doing it in some of the other parks we’ve been hitting up. It’s why we always try to go first thing here. While the other skateparks have great features and some have even more terrain than Riptide, there’s something about this one’s notoriety, its location on the beach. People come here for the spectacle, to see and be seen.
Beck and I hop out of the bowl for a break, letting some other riders drop in.
“I’m gonna head over to the half pipe,” Beck tells me. He doesn’t offer for me to join him, and I’m grateful, because I’m still not sure I’m ready to take it on again just yet. But when he heads off without a glance back, and doesn’t return for an hour, I get the sense he’s purposefully avoiding me. I’m ready to wrap up the session, get some food, a shower. But every time I head over to check the status of the guys on the half pipe, Beck barely glances my way.
I’m getting a drink from the water fountain when I hear my name called. “Jordan!”
I turn and find Zora and Ellie waving as they head up the beach toward me. Carrying my board, I meet them halfway, kicking off my shoes when I hit the sand. I’m ready for a break anyway.
“Nice outfit,” Zora says, bumping my shoulder in greeting.
“Thanks, you too,” I say, noting they’re in different outfits from last night, unlike me. “I take it you didn’t spend the night at the party then?”
“Didn’t spend the night, but still had a good time,” Zora says.
Ellie adds, “Yes. Excellent night. We shared an Uber back to campus with Taylor actually.”
“What about Lucy?”
“Oh, she had a sleepover. That’s why we’re up so early.”
I check my watch. It’s 9 AM. “How long have you been here?”
“We just got off the bus at Coby’s place. They weren’t ready to surf yet so we headed this way,” Ellie says.
“We’ve got different definitions of early,” Zora points out the obvious. “I don’t even want to know when you woke up today to already be breaking a sweat at this ungodly hour.”
“Ungodly hour? You have 9 AM classes every day of the week, don’t you?”
“Yes, but Sunday’s like my only day to sleep in now with work on Saturdays,” Zora complains.
We hit the water and walk in up to our knees.
“Why are you up early again?” I ask, looking around for Lucy.
“She texted us they’re surfing, to bring her a suit. They had extra boards for us at the house,” Zora explains.
“I hope this Coby and Lucy thing lasts awhile,” Ellie tells us. “It’s really nice not having to drag our boards with us on the bus.”
“So you guys just walked all the way over here to see me? How’d you know I was here?”
“Taylor,” Ellie answers.
I nod, but then frown. I didn’t know my friends had Taylor’s number or vice versa. “Wait, have you guys been hanging out with Taylor a lot?” He joins us skateboarding but I haven’t hung out with him outside of that, so my friends don’t really know him. Do they?
“Well, I kind of made out with him last night,” Ellie admits. “You don’t mind, do you?”
“Uh, no, that’s cool. Why would I mind?”
“He’s friends with Beck and Griff. I know that situation’s a little weird sometimes.”
“Actually, it’s not weird. Not anymore. We worked it out last night. I think.”
“Yeah, we figured as much when you left with him last night,” Zora says. “And then Taylor said he ran into you and Beck here at seven this morning so then we really figured it out.”
All I can do is bite my lip and smile.
“You want to go see Taylor? He’s still on the half pipe I think but I bet they’re finishing up soon.”
We head back up to the skatepark and before we even reach the half pipe Taylor’s jogging down the steps to meet us. His eyes are on Ellie and I glance over to find her beaming at him.
“See, you guys should really pick up skateboarding. There aren’t even any waves and you came all the way out here. How are you going to surf?” he teases.
There are some baby waves, but I know for people who surf regularly, that wouldn’t be much fun.
“Well, we were up anyway,” Ellie says with a shrug, “since someone texted me at 7 AM.” She gives him a little shove and he uses the opportunity to throw an arm around her.
“Lucy texted me then too,” Zora grumbles. “Said we should come with bathing suits and didn’t need boards. I assumed that meant the waves were sick. She didn’t mention they aren’t rolling in for another hour or two.”
“Yeah,” Ellie says. “That house was just waking up when we got there. But that means we can come watch you. Go do something cool, what are you standing here for?”
Taylor laughs and shakes his head. “No pressure or anything.”
October in southern California is still hotter than most summer days in Connecticut, and all three guys have ditched their shirts. As we move to the other side for a better view of the pipe, I notice a girl has joined them up there. In the dozen times I’ve been to this park since moving here, I’ve never seen a girl on the half pipe. Hell, I rarely see girls at this park at all. I recognize the skater immediately as she stands on the platform. Blue hair, signature neon sports bra and spandex shorts. Sarah Kase, one of the hottest female skateboarders in the world right now. She’s Japanese-American, and I thought her home base was in Japan, but maybe she splits her time.
Sarah drops in and she isn’t the least bit hesitant. No, she works the ramp, not even trying to keep her speed down, but instead getting low and working the vert until my jaw literally drops at how fast she’s going. I hear Zora mutter beside me, “Holy shit.” Sarah catches air so high it has my heart nearly jumping out of my chest.
I want to do that. I want to own the pipe like she is right now. Conquer it without any fear.
But then I remember how hard I fell when I tried the pipe the first time, and how much worse it could have been than a minor concussion. I’ll get after it again. Just not today.
Beck
I’m so damn distracted and skating like crap. I shouldn’t even be up here on the pipe like this, with only half my focus, but it’s the one place Jordan won’t ride. Riptide’s half pipe is one of the largest in the world, notorious for causing trips to the emergency room.
“You go, man,” I tell Taylor with a nod. I watched him run down to meet Jordan’s friend a minute ago.
He looked like a little puppy, and I knew what was up as soon as he threw an arm around her. As long as he doesn’t do anything that messes with me and Jordan, I don’t care who Taylor’s into. I’ve got enough going on to mess shit up on my own.
I probably should have thought it all through more before coming here this morning. From my viewpoint, I’ve spotted at least a dozen people snapping photos or taking video of us. I can’t let any speculation start about me and Jordan until I’ve talked to her about it. She needs to know what the deal is with Shred Live before she makes a decision. I’m the one who got us in this situation so she should be the one who gets to decide.
“Dude, did you come up here to creep on Jordan all morning or you gonna take some more turns?” Griff’s beside me, and Taylor’s dismounting below. Sarah’s gone off to get a drink of water and talk to a group of fans.
“I’m not creeping on her.”
“Chill, she’s too focused when she’s riding for anyone to approach her if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Huh?” I turn from where I’m watching her talk to her friends.
“You’re worried some guys are gonna hit on her, aren’t you? She’s totally oblivious to the dudes drooling over her, relax. Though she’s stopped riding so maybe she’s not as intimidating to them now…” he muses. “Better get down there quick, Beckett.”
“Stop fucking with me, Griff,” I half growl. “I’m not looking at her ‘cause I’m worried some dude’s gonna talk to her.”
Griff throws a hand on my shoulder. “Come on, I’m your best friend, let me have fun with this. I’ve never seen you get jealous before. It’s funny as hell.”
“It’s not jealousy,” I grit out. All right, I was getting a little worked up seeing the way guys at the park were watching her, but she’s mine now so I’m not as anxious as I would have been, say, yesterday.
“I get it, she’s smoking in that top.”
I do punch him in the bicep then. A good hard one. He’s laughing though.
“Come on man, this is my way of saying I’m happy for you,” he gets out between fits of laughter.
No one’s on their way up the stairs so I tell him what’s got me strung tight. “I haven’t talked to her about what it means if we go public.”
“Yeah? You worried about all the cameras around here?”
“It wouldn’t be a big deal. But with Shred Live’s contract terms, it changes things. I know that’s ten weeks away, but still. Might be better to keep it private.”
Griff nods. “Yeah, that’s rough. But loosen up, Beck. You’ve been overthinking things with her from day one. Have some fun. Just hang with her and chill out.”
Easy for him to say. He doesn’t have an ex like Kelly or a dad like mine. He hasn’t experienced firsthand what it’s like when relationships go wrong.
But for a guy with zero relationship experience, Griff still understands me better than just about anyone. Except maybe my baby sister. Naomi shocked the shit out of me when she called me out on what was holding me back, and she even said she’d talked to Griff about it. Maybe I need to give him more credit too. He wants the best for me. And it’s not bad advice.
“All right man, I’ll try to loosen up,” I tell him with a smile. No one’s ever said I was too uptight before, and only Griffin Perry would tell me it’s time to relax. I glance down at my girl one more time and she’s watching. I send her a wave, and then I drop in.
Chapter Five
Jordan
Beck finally comes over to talk to me, just when I’m starting to move toward panic mode. I mean, it’s only been an hour since he ditched me for the half pipe, but until he gave a little wave, he hadn’t even acknowledged my existence. Throw Sarah Kase into the mix, and I’m wondering if I’ve got another ex-girlfriend situation on my hands.
Maybe I’m just feeling vulnerable after everything that happened with Beck last night and this morning, but shouldn’t it be the opposite? Shouldn’t I finally have confidence in us?
“You okay?” Beck asks. He’s beside me, but not as close as I want him.
“Yeah, I think the crowds at this place just get to me sometimes,” I admit. It’s part of the truth. Something about Riptide Skatepark brings out all my insecurities. But then I think back to the high I had this morning as we crossed the parking lot. Yeah, not the park, just the crowds.
“It probably doesn’t help there are people with cameras on you now that you’re recognizable. Taylor’s fault from posting that first video, but you know you’d attract attention with your riding no matter what. Especially after hitting the top of the podium yesterday. Better get used to it.”
I glance around, and sure enough, a girl sitting on the beach is pointing her phone at us. “Huh. It’s only because you came over here.”
“No, people were videoing you skate.” He’s doing it again, making an offhand comment that tells me he was watching me when I wasn’t looking, but this time at least, I don’t have to question what it means.
“That’s probably it. I can feel the cameras on me subconsciously and it gets me on edge. But only here. Why do people feel like they have permission to whip out their cameras on strangers here but no other parks, anyway?”
Ellie tells us she’s seen videos of us at other parks recently too, which doesn’t really help the situation. “But yeah, I think because this place is famous and attracts the pros with that pipe, it’s more of a free-for-all.”
Zora throws an arm around me. “Better figure out how to deal with that attention on you, girl. It’s only gonna get bigger.” I’m not sure if she’s referring to me being with Beck now, or if it’s about me competing and repping Brazen, but I don’t ask for clarification.
“You ready to get out of here?” I ask. If not, I’m taking the bus back to campus. I never realized how much I needed alone time until college started. I’ve got a roommate who actually wants to hang and talk to me when we’re in the dorm, and friends with me nearly all the time. Between skateparks, work, the cafeteria, and classes, it seems like I’m only ever alone if I’m in the bathroom. Which is really weird. I mean, I don’t even skateboard alone anymore.
“You sure you don’t want a surf lesson?” Zora asks. “Waves are perfect right now for a first-timer.”
I glance over at the water and think about it. Then I remember that we’d be using the boards at Coby’s house, and Davis will be there. The same Davis I held hands with and kissed last night before Beckett showed up.
“Maybe another time. I’m toast.” That much is true. I slept great in the van with Beck, but we were up way later than I’m used to. Besides, I should really get back and do some homework. I’d love to pretend like I can play all day, but if my grades suck, my parents might not be so supportive of my new “job” skateboarding all the time. They’re the ones paying my tuition.
Ellie pouts and Zora makes me promise I’ll go with them soon. But Beck looks about as ready to split as I am. He’s already on his board, waving goodbye to my friends, and calling out to Griff and Taylor that he’ll see them later. I hop on my board and chase after him.
Beck keeps a solid distance in front of me the entire way through the crowded park. He doesn’t even wait for me to cross the street to the parking lot, glancing back only once as he weaves through the now full lot. By the time we get to the van, I’m sweating hard from trying to keep up. And seriously pissed off. I thought we were done with this. I thought I wouldn’t have to be confused by his actions and mixed signals. Yet I’m pretty damn certain that he’s trying not to be seen with me. And as my mind races, I realize that since the second people started showing at the park, he’s been trying not to be seen alone with me.
I’m about ready to throw my skateboard at him. His sister’s skateboard I guess. Instead, I settle for throwing it in the backseat of his van when he slides the back door open.
“You know what, Beck? I don’t need a ride. I’ll take the bus.”
Shaking my head in frustration and anno
yance, I wait for him to confirm this is what he wants. I won’t storm off, as much as I want to. I’m just disappointed. Really fucking disappointed. What is Beck’s deal? Why do I feel like the more mature one in the relationship here when he’s undoubtedly got more years, more experience, than I do?
“Why would you do that?” Beck asks, as if I’m the diva here.
“You obviously don’t want to be seen with me in public, Beck. Look, I don’t even want to talk about it. Honestly I don’t need to be with a guy who’s going to make me question my self-worth.” I didn’t mean to get so philosophical. But I am really pissed off. “This is bullshit. I’m done getting pulled in different directions with you, hot one minute and cold the next.”
Beck is watching me as I go off on him, his blue eyes getting darker with each word I spout. “Jordan Slattery, get in the fucking van right now.”
He growls this at me. Growls!
Half of me seriously wants to run. But the rest of me wants to dive in the backseat, lie on the bed and wait for him to do whatever he wants. Instead, I carefully try to school my features. Then I give him my own version of a menacing look, which I think I pull off, because he presses his lips together like he’s even more pissed than I am.
With as little sass as possible I open the passenger side door and climb in, shutting it gently behind me. I’m cool, calm and collected. Ha. Yeah right. I’m a total blend of downright furious and strangely hot, a now-familiar thrumming in my pulse going wild at the memories of what last happened in this van.
It doesn’t get any better when Beck slides into the driver’s seat, gives me one long look, and then pulls out of the lot. He doesn’t say a single word until we’re past the park and almost on the highway back to campus. Neither do I.
“You’re right. I didn’t want anyone seeing us together.”
