The It's Kind Of Personal (Complete 6 Book Series)ies

by Anna Brooks

  I search her face and when her eyes connect with mine, I finish. “You have to tell me what you’re feeling without being scared I’m not gonna want you anymore. Because that’s never fucking happening.” I lean down and kiss the top of her head then turn and stop in the doorway. “I’ll be in the kitchen making breakfast.”

  I’m standing with the fridge open and haven’t even gotten the eggs out when small arms wrap around my waist and Char’s head rests between my shoulder blades. She’s already here.

  “Thank you.” Her voice is muffled from behind me, but the meaning is clear. Finally, fucking finally, we can move on. I reach behind me and give her ass a squeeze before returning to grab the stuff I need from the fridge. We work together making breakfast — this time it’s pancakes and sausage.

  She plays on her phone, and I pretend to check my e-mails. I can’t stop thinking about what she told me. I’m hit with a thought that makes my stomach turn and the pancakes taste like cardboard.

  Me joking around saying I’m going to punish her.

  Her freezing up and bolting away.

  That motherfucker punished her.

  I don't want to ruin anything, so I’m not bringing it up, not yet. I squeeze my hands into fists and slowly open and close them under the table until I’ve calmed down. Fuck me. She looks up at me and some of her hair falls over her eyes. I reach over and put it behind her ear.

  “I’m glad you have your natural color back.” I rub the soft strands between my fingers.

  She gives me a soft smile and says thank you.

  “What are your plans for today?” I ask.

  “Nothing, really. I’m off until Wednesday then I work every night through Saturday.”

  “Damn, I had someone stand by for me this morning, so I have to work until Thursday.” I was supposed to work this morning, but after what happened last night, one of my buddies offered to stay and cover for me until I could get there. I’m always at work, and cover for everyone as much as I can, so the guys can attend their kids’ functions. When I asked for a favor last night, they were not only shocked, but also happy to help me out.

  “Shit, I’m sorry. Why didn’t you say anything? I don’t want you to get in trouble.” It’s cute that she’s worried about me getting in trouble, such a girl.

  “It’s fine. I need to get there soon, and I have to stay until Thursday instead of Wednesday. Not a big deal.” I link my fingers together and put them behind my head, leaning back.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Hey, stop. It’s fine. Don’t apologize. We got everything sorted out, right?” Please let her say yes. I really don’t want anything else holding us back.

  “Yeah. We did.” Her cheeks redden, and I know she’s thinking about what happened in the shower last night. Yeah, that was hot. I can’t wait to do it again, but I know even though she’s putting on this act as if she’s okay, she still has reservations. I’ll give her time, no problem. She can have all the time she needs as long as she’s taking it with me.

  * * *

  “Hey, man.” I bump fists with Pierce standing outside The Pub.

  After I got off work this morning, I really wanted to go see Charlotte, but I knew she was working tonight. She told me she was taking a nap this afternoon in one of the seventy plus texts we’ve exchanged over the past few days. I didn’t want her to miss out on sleep because of me, so I went to the gym and did some laundry.

  Plus, my mom has been bugging me to meet her for dinner, so we did that tonight. We talked a lot. She didn’t tell me what was said between her and Char, but she did tell me that she’s really proud of how Charlotte has moved on and is taking her life back. I was worried what Mom would say about how we met, but she didn’t bring it up. I’m hoping it never is brought up… ever. She gave me her support, like always.

  Now, it’s about nine, and my palms are sweaty thinking about seeing Char again. I’m not nervous, just anxious. It’s been three days since I’ve touched her, and I’m itching to get my hands on her again. When I can see her, especially when I can hold her, I feel better. She makes me a better person.

  “Everything good?” Pierce asks.

  “Yeah. Real good.”

  “About damn time,” he laughs. “She know you’re coming?”

  I shrug. “I told her I’d try to stop by.” I may be in love with the girl, and I’d do anything for her, but I don’t want to seem like too much of a bitch. I’m sure she knows I wouldn’t miss seeing her on my only night off this week. I go back tomorrow morning and don’t get off until Monday.

  “So, she knows you’re coming. Better get in there.” He nods toward the door, and I clap him on the back when I walk past him.

  “Later, Pierce.”

  When I get inside, my eyes fly straight to Charlotte. She hasn’t seen me yet, so I lean against the wall and watch as she serves a few guys in suits a pitcher of beer. They talk for a minute, and she laughs after listening to one of them whose hands are flying all over the place. He grabs her wrist, and I push off the wall, but a strong hand on my shoulder stops my movement.

  “You gotta let her handle it,” Pierce says next to me.

  “Fuck that.” I ball my fists.

  His grip tightens.

  “Watch. These guys are regulars, they’re not bad.”

  And sure enough, she pats his hand, and he lets go. But I see it. I can see from here her eyes are filled with fear. Pierce is right. He didn’t grab her in a rough way. More of a hey, isn’t that funny sort of way. But, still, he touched her.

  She goes over to Meara and says something before walking out and down the hallway that leads to the alley.

  “That’s all you, man.” Pierce lets go and gives me a little push. No shit, like I need him to tell me to go after her.

  Not intentionally, I sneak up on her. She’s got the back door propped open, and her arms are across her chest.

  “Hey, sweetheart.”

  She jumps and swings around, eyes wide with fear, softening when she recognizes me. “Holy crap, you scared me.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “Oh, I’m taking a break.” Her words are shaky, and I take the few steps until I reach her. Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her close.

  “I missed you,” I say against her lips before kissing them softly.

  At my words, her body relaxes, and she kisses me back, gentle, sweet. Just like her.

  I pull her back and make her look at me. “Now, really, why are you back here? I saw that guy grab you.”

  “Oh.” She avoids my eyes, and I can tell she’s fighting something.

  “Yeah, and I know it bothered you and that’s why you’re out here. What I don’t know is why.”

  She walks further outside and sits on a stack of pallets. Her feet dangle, and she watches them swing back and forth. “He would restrain me.”

  Fuck. I don’t move, but let her finish. My hands remain in my back pockets as I lean against the door. My stance says casual, but I’m fucking furious right now.

  “It wasn’t against my will, but if I can’t move, or if someone grabs me, it brings up stuff. I’m getting better, but that caught me off guard. I needed a minute.” She takes a deep breath and rocks my world. “Especially now that you’re here, I feel safe.” She hops off and walks inside, right past me. “Come on, I’ll get you a beer.”

  With no choice but to follow, I reach her quickly, and she puts her hand out for me to grab, like it’s natural.

  When we round the corner to the bar, I see it’s already picked up. The men’s softball team The Pub sponsors is here, and I tug on her arm a little before she walks behind the bar.

  “I need you to kiss me, right now.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Now, Charlotte.”

  She doesn’t hesitate, and lifts up on her toes and presses her lips to mine. I grab her ass to pull her closer, and she emits a small squeal as her arms wrap around my neck. I take all she allows until she pulls away panting.
>
  “What was that for?” she asks breathless.

  “Now all these fuckers know you’re mine. Go get me a beer, woman.” I give her a little shove, but she hardly moves, mouth hanging open. “Beer,” I repeat with a smirk on my face.

  She shakes her head, laughing, and goes to the tap. I love that we can joke like we used to. I know she went through some traumatic things, but we need to at least try normal.

  “Nice, man. That wasn’t obvious or anything,” Matt, one of the other bouncers, says next to me.

  “Well, it worked, didn’t it?” I laugh and take my beer from Char as she rolls her eyes at me.

  “For now. What are you gonna do when a new group of guys come in? Drag her across the bar caveman style?” He’s joking, but he’s right.

  I can’t be here with her all the time. I trust her; it’s the drunk idiots that think they can touch women after they’ve had a few that I worry about. Not only does it piss me off to think about someone else touching her, it concerns me because of what she’s been through.

  “That’s what you guys are for. Watch her for me, alright?” I raise my glass at him, and he nods in understanding.

  I talk a little more with Matt, and Meara comes over by me for a bit, too. Char’s eyes find mine a few times, and she smiles, reassuring me she’s really okay.

  As the night drags on, I groan internally because I have to be up by six tomorrow. Finally, at almost two in the morning, Char walks around the bar and rubs my shoulders.

  “I’m done. Meara’s closing up for me.”

  “Good, I’m tired. Ready to leave?”

  “Yeah,” she smiles shyly.

  I get off the stool and wrap my arm around her shoulder. We say our goodbyes and go to the parking lot.

  “Can you come to my place?” I ask. “I have to get up early.”

  “Sure, I’ll follow you.”

  * * *

  Char is in my bed, and I have her pulled close. We got in bed right away, both of us exhausted.

  “I like this,” she whispers.

  “Me, too, sweetheart.” I kiss the top of her head and close my eyes. “Get some sleep.”

  “Okay. Travis?”

  “Yeah, baby?”

  “You know I love you, too, right?”

  I smile against her head. “I do now.”

  She cuddles closer, and after only a couple of minutes, her breathing evens out, and I know she’s fallen asleep. As tired as I am, I can’t sleep. Horrible images flash through my mind of her being tied up. He had better hope we never cross paths, because I will end him.

  I hold her a little tighter and finally drift off.

  Chapter 20

  Charlotte

  “WHY ARE YOU SO nervous?” Meara asks as we flip stools onto the tabletops. It’s Saturday night, well, really Sunday morning, and the bar is empty as we do the nightly clean up.

  “I don’t know. I didn't tell him I’m coming. I’ve never met anyone he works with.”

  “Yeah, so? They’re just a bunch of dudes.”

  I decided somewhat spontaneously that I’m going to bring Travis lunch tomorrow. I miss him, and I know he can’t leave the station, so I have to go to him. Texting and the occasional two-minute phone call are not cutting it anymore.

  “I know, but still. Me going to see him at work is like putting a stamp on my forehead that says I’m in a relationship with him,” I sigh. “Not that I don’t want that. It’s just that I’ll be the one making the effort this time when he’s been the one doing it so far.”

  “That’s a good thing, sweetie. It’ll mean a lot to him. He’s a guy; they’re just little boys at heart. They need to feel loved, too.” She sticks out her bottom lip and pouts.

  “I know, you’re right. Speaking of little boys, how’s Liam?” I tease. Liam is anything but little. He’s at least six-foot-three.

  “He’s great.” The love seeping out of her pores as she talks about her boyfriend is nauseating. “I think they’re coming home for a couple weeks next month. If they can’t, I’m gonna go to him. It’s been like three months since I’ve seen him.” I’m shocked when she wipes her eyes. Meara doesn’t cry.

  “Aw, honey, what’s wrong?” I hand her a small white cocktail napkin and hop up on the bar. She walks behind it and pours a shot, swallowing in one swift motion.

  “I just miss him is all. We grew up together. We were inseparable. Seeing him once every few months sucks ass.” Her lip quivers, and as quick as it was there, she pushes it away. “So, what are you bringing him?” She’s officially changed the subject. Stubborn, she is so damn stubborn.

  “Sandwiches, I guess. Why? Is that not good?” Panic rises and I scramble off the bar to grab my phone in search of recipes.

  Meara grabs my wrist. “Sandwiches are great. Relax, woman.” Her laughter puts me at ease, and we finish our clean-up duties in companionable silence.

  Bartending is not what I had planned for my future. I graduated with a degree in business. Generic, safe. I really don’t know what I want to do with my future at this point. I like The Pub, I love working with my family, and if I never left here, I’d be fine with that. As long as I’m with Travis, I’ll be happy, so a job is the least of my worries right now.

  * * *

  “Hi. Can I help you?”

  I smile at the girl who greets me when I walk into the firehouse.

  Deciding confident is the only way to go, I answer her. “Hi.” I give her a big smile, partly to show her that I’m really a nice person, but mainly to display the fact that I don’t see her as a threat. Women are weird like that. “I’m here to see Travis Parker. Do you know where he is?”

  “Yeah, they’re all out back playing basketball. Come on, I’ll take you.”

  “Thanks.”

  I fall in step behind her and try to look at the pictures and articles hanging on the walls. The general consensus of the headlines is lives saved, but some of the newspaper clips are also the firefighters donating their time to various charities throughout the community.

  We arrive at a door, and she pushes it open. I’m momentarily blinded by the sun, but step to the side where the shade protects my eyes. My mouth falls open, and I’m suddenly hot.

  “Holy crap,” I whisper.

  There are about eight shirtless men playing basketball. They’re all sweaty and built like calendar models. I can’t help but stare. I mean, who wouldn’t?

  A throat clearing makes me jump, and I turn to look at the girl I followed. I forgot she was even here.

  “Shit, sorry,” I put my hand on my heart in an attempt to relax. “That’s just…”

  “I know, trust me. When I first started, I looked just like you, but now it doesn’t even faze me. Besides, these guys are like my brothers, so it’s kind of gross.” She scrunches her nose and shakes her head.

  “What’s your name?” I ask.

  “Stacey. You?”

  “I’m Charlotte.”

  Her eyes widen and she laughs a little. “Ahh, the famous Charlotte. Travis and I have spent many-a-night talking about you.”

  My shackles rise, and my back stiffens. She must notice my reaction because she immediately grabs my hand. “No, not like that. He didn’t tell me much, but I do know how much that guy loves you. Couldn’t get a better one, either. He’s the nicest of the bunch.”

  “I know. He’s the best.”

  Stacey watches, while I gawk at the guys playing for a few more minutes. The ball rolls in our direction and every set of eyes is suddenly on me. I force myself to stand tall and not be intimidated by these men.

  “Who's your friend, Stace?” one of them asks her while he looks me up and down. I try my best not to look at anything other than his eyes. The bare chest and toned arms make it really difficult. I’m in love with Travis, but I’m not dead.

  Stacey laughs and mutters under her breath, “This’ll be entertaining.” Clearly wanting to have some fun on Travis’ expense, she answers, “This is my friend, Charlotte. Charl
otte, this is Miller.”

  He sticks out his hand, and I smile at him while shaking it. “Nice to meet you.” I look beyond him and see Travis closing in, wearing just a pair of black shorts slung low on his hips. “But I’m here—”

  “She’s here for me. Hands off, fucker.” Travis smiles, but the ferocity in his voice says otherwise.

  He grabs my hand and pulls it out of Miller’s, holding me firmly against his side.

  “Alright, man. I was just saying hi. When did you become so uptight?”

  Travis looks at me, and the intensity in his eyes makes me gasp. His hand tightens on mine, and I can hear my heart beating in my head. Ignoring everyone else around, he walks around the building and presses me against the brick wall.

  “Hi.” Nothing better comes out of my mouth, and I chastise myself for being so lame. “I brought you lunch, I hope it’s okay.”

  His eyes roam down my body, and my feet shuffle nervously. I should have dressed better than a pair of flip-flops, leggings, and a couple of layered tank tops. I didn’t do anything to my hair because I slept late, so it’s just hanging down around my shoulders. Once his orbs make their way back up to mine, he tilts his head and asks, “I haven’t seen you for almost three days, right?”

  “Yes?”

  “Why wouldn’t it be okay?”

  “Oh, well, you’re working and—”

  “Why, Char?”

  “What?”

  “Why did you come here?”

  “I feel like this is a trick question, Travis.”

  “It’s not. I just want to know why.”

  “Because I missed you.” The words flow freely. It’s the truth. I missed him.

  He rests his forearms on either side of my head and presses his lips to mine. I don’t hesitate to open for him. His tongue is greedy, exploring every inch of my mouth. He leans into me, and when his bare chest touches my hardened nipples, I moan. His hands roam down my body, stopping when his thumbs rub the underside of my breasts. His hands arrive on my backside, and he hoists me up, pressing me further into the bricks.

  My legs wrap around, pull him closer, and I’m grinding on him like a cat in heat. Of course, his hard dick hits in just the right place, and I moan at the contact. I want him so bad, but not like this; someone could see us. I know he’d keep going until I got off, even if he doesn’t.