Shattered Chaos (Steel Roses Book 1)

by Samantha Bee

  I release the breath I didn’t even realize I was holding as she poses in front of the painting with her back to me. She holds one arm over her breasts as she raises the arm in the air before looking over her shoulder and giving me a seductive little grin, “I post a photo on my Instagram an hour or two before the show.”

  I start taking photos from a few different angles. I had a sister, I know how to do this shit. Although, I really don’t think Scar has such a thing as a bad angle. As I snap photos, I study her a little closer than I’ve had the chance to do before now.

  She’s wearing only a pair of white cutoffs with the back pockets embroidered with roses of varying shades of blue, from pastel to almost black. She has a beautiful tattoo that starts at her right hip with different types of decaying flowers in bunches and moves up across her back to her left shoulder and transitions to full blooms.

  She has a snarling wolf on her right thigh with blood dripping from its mouth, surrounded by a geometric pattern. On her left bicep she has a portrait of a woman with a crown on her head dripping blood. From the brief glance I got, I know she also has more ink on her torso. She has an insanely talented artist.

  I try not to focus on how well those shorts accentuate her ass or the hint of cheek I can see poking out from the bottom. I do my best to ignore all of her curves, from her spine to her waist, all the way up to the glimpse of her side breast.

  “Thanks,” she says, and I can hear the amusement in her tone. She doesn’t give me any notice before turning around grabbing her phone out of my hand. I snap my eyes up towards the ceiling.

  “Give a guy some warning, fuck,” I mumble as she walks away from me, looking through the photos.

  I keep my eyes upward, not trusting myself not to take a longer look at what she’s putting on display. She seems to have no qualms if I notice or not but being turned on by my boss doesn’t seem like the best idea. I’m already going to have a hard enough time from the little that I have seen.

  “You’re fine to look, now,” she chuckles, walking back to me to show me her phone. “So now I post,”

  “You know what this means?” I cut her off to ask, reading her caption but not understanding.

  “Yes, the blue roses on my shorts means I’m going to be dancing tonight. That’s why I had you take the picture from the back.” She explains to me how each dancer has a color and any time they dance they have to wear something with their color roses.

  I nod my head along as she continues to tell me about the setup of the club, how it works and other things I can expect from tonight. I can’t lie, I’m not normally a huge club person but Luca has some intriguing and trendy ideas.

  Based on the way Scar’s phone is blowing up in her hand, I have to assume I’m not the only one who thinks so. I’m surprised to actually find myself looking forward to getting out and being able to relax, maybe even find a new place in life.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Leaving Rowan behind is a lot harder than I ever could have anticipated. We spent almost the entire day together and it already feels like she’s always been in my life. She fit in so naturally, I don’t know how to even let her go.

  She was so entranced as she watched me put on my makeup and do my hair. She still isn’t speaking but considering everything she went through, the fact she even interacts with us is a win in my book. Especially seeing how she’s starting to warm up to the guys.

  I shake my head to myself as I think about how all three of those idiots went on separate shopping sprees for her. At least I know that I’m not the only one being affected by her.

  When she cried at finding out I had to go to work tonight I almost put my foot down and told Luca to fuck off. The funny thing is when I saw his face as he found out, I think he was ready to say the same thing to me. I have a feeling a lot of our decisions are going to revolve around this little girl from now on.

  I hesitate at the door and turn back to look at my bedroom door once more. Rowan is already tucked into bed and passed out. I left her laying on her stomach on top of her new unicorn with the elephant under one arm and her tiger smashed under the other. I couldn’t help but laugh and take a picture. Josie promised to text me if she so much as stirs in her sleep. A part of me still just wants to curl back in bed with her and forget the show.

  “She will be okay, Ladybug,” Kade pauses next to me and kisses my head. Realistically, I know he’s right. We will only be gone for a few hours and she will be sleeping the whole time. I’ll be able to climb into bed with her afterwards.

  I shake myself over and nod to him before forcing myself out the door. Rowan will be here when we get back, it’ll all be okay. I’m really hoping I don’t regret this, but I trust Josie with my life. She will make sure Roe is okay and will call me immediately if she’s not.

  The four of us jump into Luca’s black Beemer, noticeably quieter than we ever are. I pull out my phone and stare at the photo I took of her before laughing a little and showing each of the guys. They all grin, even Luca, and I can see how proud they are that she likes the animals they bought for her. I think they will always be some of her most prized possessions.

  It doesn’t take us long before we are pulling up to Steel Roses and parking in Luca’s spot. The four of us just sit in the car for a moment, sitting quietly. I let out a huge sigh. I feel the guilt of leaving Rowan start to eat away at me again. I can’t bring myself to open the door and get in the mood to go into the club.

  Kade’s booming clap behind me makes me jump in my seat. I turn to give him a dirty look, but he has his signature dopey grin on his face. “We all need to just enjoy a night out,” he scolds us, but I see my struggle reflected in his eyes. “Roe is going to be fine without us,” he repeats for probably the tenth time tonight.

  We all nod but no one moves towards the door. I chuckle darkly, “We’ve all become pussies.” No one argues with my statement because we really have. “Let’s just call Josie, real quick?” I suggest.

  All three of them eagerly nod as I pull up her contact on my phone and hit facetime. Josie’s smirking face pops up almost immediately. “It hasn’t even been fifteen minutes yet.”

  We all laugh and some of the tension bleeds out of the car as Josie reassures us, she hasn’t even moved from her spot. She turns the camera away from her and towards the little bundle of limbs and stuffed animals on the bed.

  “I promise you, Scar, I have got her. All of you go out and have a good time. Just trust me.” We all are nodding along with her words and I take another deep breath. We hang up and all trade looks before laughing.

  For a car full of hardasses, we sure have gone soft for that little girl. As one we move to get out of the car and into the club. We take the private entrance that leads straight into Luca’s office so we can bypass the crowds.

  I lead the way in and head straight for the liquor cabinet. I’m going to need to do some shots to relax and stop worrying about Roe. I have to relax at least a little bit to be able to perform.

  I grab the first bottle of whiskey I see and start drinking straight from the bottle. All the guys start chuckling but none of them pass it up when I pass it around.

  I can hear the music already pounding through the club and it oddly settles something in me as the whiskey burns through my veins. I’m going to let go of my worries for just a few hours and focus on having a good time. Josie will call if anything happens.

  I grab the bottle back before heading out of Luca’s office to the VIP section. He has his table reserved for Britt and the guys. I’m kind of excited for her to meet them. She’s a wild card but not in the same way that I am.

  I can definitely see her with both of them. Those two guys are as close as they can be without fucking, which they aren’t. I’ve asked. I do think they are a package deal though. They’ve never dated the same woman before, but I know they’ve shared more than a couple in bed. Britt might just be the lucky girl who is able to tie them both down.

  I smirk to myself. Since when d
id I become such a little matchmaker? Britt deserves some happiness though. So do Mikey and Ronan.

  I look around and immediately spot the three of them sitting in one of the sections with several couches and loveseats that has a great view of the stage. There are a few other people sitting at the table with them, I recognize Ian and Ty from the fights. Holden must be running the show there tonight.

  Britt leans back and I get a better view of who is sitting next to her, “Noah?” I call out in surprise as I walk up to the table. A grin spreads across my face as I take him in. A warm feeling starts in my chest that he’s here for me. Or maybe that’s just the whiskey.

  “Hey, baby girl,” he smiles back at me and his eyes are sparkling with something that I can’t quite put a name to. Ian moves so that Noah can get up and he immediately pulls me into his arms for a hug, before kissing the top of my head.

  The warmth spreads out from my chest and I relax into his arms. I am enjoying this more dominant side of Noah. I meet Britt's eyes and throw her a wink before pulling away from Noah and greeting everyone else.

  Mikey and Ronan both also pull me into their arms but it’s more affectionate than sexy when they do it. I catch Ryder studying the interactions between me and the guys and try not to laugh. Poor guy has no idea what to make of the dynamics of our group.

  “I see you guys all met each other,” I smile looking around at the casual atmosphere of the group. It’s nice how easily they’ve all gotten along, seeing as how most of them didn’t know each other before tonight.

  I pull Ryder to my side and introduce him to the group before running through everyone at the table, “You’ve met Ronan and Mikey, briefly. They’re also our tattoo artists.” Ever since we got our tattoos together, Kade won’t go to anyone else. Luca and I always went only to them and we’ve started sending a lot of business their way. They’re like the unofficial tattoo artists for Luca’s organization. No one knows they also work on our extraction team though.

  “Then there's Ian and Tyler. They work with Kade and Joe to run the fights. Holden is also on that team, but he isn’t here tonight. You’ll meet him eventually.” I catch their eyes sparking with interest as they examine Ryder. I watch as they take note of his injuries with curiosity. It’s not often we bring on new members.

  I continue introducing the rest of the table. “The crazy redhead is the best barista in California,” I tease before introducing her.

  She just cackles before asking, “Is this a new boy toy?” Everyone chuckles at her assumption. They probably all would have assumed the same except for the background I gave him.

  As much as I love Britt, she’s pretty much in the dark about everything except that we are involved in some cage fighting. I feel like she would fit in well if I were to open up to her, but I just don’t really know how to do that. Not just with her but anyone.

  Ryder looks shocked as he stares back and forth between me and her, “Nah, girl. A potential initiate,” I explain.

  “Huh, that’s too bad,” she responds, checking him out. I roll my eyes at her antics and slightly adjust my body in front of him. I want her with Mikey and Ronan not Ryder, she doesn’t need to be looking at him like that. She catches the movement and raises her brows at me, before looking to Kade? What’s that about?

  I catch a slight movement out of the corner of my eye and see he’s having a silent conversation with her. I turn to him trying to figure out when the two of them got so close. I can’t explain the prickle I feel under my skin at the thought, all I know is that I don’t totally love the idea of it.

  Kade grins at me as I just stare at him before turning his attention to Noah, “And finally, this is Noah,” he introduces him to Ryder, “he’s Scar’s.” I roll my eyes and huff at him for deflecting.

  “And the dynamic grows stranger,” Ryder mumbles as he shakes Noah’s hand. It’s only then that I realize I didn’t correct Kade calling Noah mine. I guess it’s too late now, it would just be awkward.

  I guess a little part of me can admit that I don’t hate the way it sounds either.

  Noah wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me onto a seat next to him. Kade quickly drops down on my other side as everyone else settles into different spots and the conversation starts up again.

  I bring the whiskey up to my mouth and start drinking again. “Straight from the bottle type of night?” Noah asks as he brushes his fingers up and down my arm. Kade simultaneously starts drawing circles on my thigh. A shiver runs through me as I relax into the both of them.

  “It’s been a long couple of days,” I answer somewhat honestly. Starting to feel like I just might be able to relax enough to have a good time tonight. Even if I am still worrying about Rowan at home.

  Noah traces the edge of my bandage peeking out from my shirt, “Have something to do with this?” I always forget just how observant Noah can be. I thought I had hidden the bandage pretty well but within moments, he noticed it.

  Speaking of, I should probably not hit the alcohol too hard tonight. I forgot that I had taken some of the painkillers the doctor gave me. Not anything too strong because I can’t stand the haze some medications fill my mind with.

  I pass the bottle to Kade at the realization. I really don’t want to lose control tonight. Not when I’m going home to Roe. What I already drank should hit me pretty good already. Kade winks at me, understanding what I’m thinking and silently letting me know he’s got my back.

  I just nod to acknowledge Noah, not really knowing what else to tell him, without giving too much away. “You okay?” That’s one of the things I love about Noah, he’s always willing to just accept what I offer and not demand more.

  I smile at the concern in his eyes, “Nothing to be concerned about.” He doesn’t look convinced but there’s no way he can know it’s a gunshot wound. Still, he flicks his gaze to Kade over my shoulder. What the hell is with that? Why does everyone keep looking at him for answers? That’s kind of annoying.

  I roll my eyes and turn my attention to the others seated around us. I relax as I start catching up with Britt as we laugh and joke with each other. Her eyes keep wandering towards Ryder and I raise my brows at her when I catch her doing it again. She just shrugs and raises her own brows back at me like she’s putting the question back on me.

  I break eye contact from her, not sure what she wants me to say. I’m not in charge of Ryder but I was kind of hoping Britt would be attracted to Mikey and Ronan. I feel annoyance rising in my blood and try to shake it off. It’s not my business what any of them do.

  I get caught up in talking to Ian about his two little boys that I don’t even notice Luca walking away from our section. Ian is a single dad with twin little boys. The mischief the two of them get into never fails to amuse me. Ian’s love for the boys shines through every word he speaks. He has me laughing and smiling in minutes at their latest antics.

  I wonder if having friends would help Rowan feel more comfortable. I find her name on the tip of my tongue and want to share about her with my friends here, but I know we can’t. Most of the group doesn’t even know of her existence. We are going to have to come up with a cover story for her.

  Maybe after we do, we can introduce her to the twins. I feel like having kids her own age would really help her adjust, maybe even start talking again. I nod to myself as I start to examine Ty and Ian in front of me.

  They’ve both been working with Kade at the fights for years. They’ve been nothing but steadfast in their loyalty. We’ve gotten quite close with them as well. I’d consider them as close to friends as I really allow.

  I know Kade considers them some of his closest friends and as far as I know, Luca is rather fond of them as well. With everything going on, it may be time to expand our inner circle a little more. I have a feeling things are going to get crazy around here after taking a hit against Romano. The two of them would be perfect candidates to bring on board. I’ll have to bring it up with Luca later.

  Kade nudges my arm and dra
ws me out of my reflections. I realize Luca is up on the bar getting ready to introduce me to start dancing. I stand up and wiggle my ass, practically in Noah and Kade’s faces. Noah just laughs as Kade slaps it.

  I take a moment to assess how drunk I feel and recognize the nice feeling of a buzz rushing through my system. Not too drunk that I’ll be stumbling and falling off the bar but just enough to add to the rush of chaos in my blood.

  I stride over to Luca as I remove my jacket and toss it behind the bar. The excitement is a pleasant thrum running through my veins. I’m more excited to dance tonight than normal and I always love dancing. I don't pause to analyze my feelings and climb up onto my glass stage.

  Luca finishes the introduction as he starts the music and I spend about the next fifteen minutes losing myself to the music and the sound of the crowd's cheers. I agreed to not pull myself up onto the poles so it limits what moves I can do but I find it barely affects me.

  I can feel eyes burning into my skin as I move and shake my body across the glass stage overlooking the club. More than just the gazes of Kade and Luca as I’m accustomed too.

  It invigorates me and I find myself pushing even harder with every move of my body. Dipping into more and more seductive poses as I slow my movements as the last song of this set plays. I undulate my body in a slow, hypnotic motion to the rhythm of The Weeknd’s High For This.

  I can feel the energy of the crowd as they fall under the spell I’m weaving with my body, but I find myself not even caring about the attention of the crowd on me. The only attention I can even think about is coming from the table I just vacated.

  Kade is always insatiable after he sees me dance, Luca gets more worked up and I see that possessive growly side of his sneak out. I love it more than I’m willing to admit. This is the first time Ryder and Noah have seen me dance and I’m looking forward to their reactions.