All Consuming

by Burton, Jaci

  But she couldn’t ignore the nagging sensation of worry that lived constantly in the vicinity of her heart.

  After hugging her mom and Oliver and waiting until they drove away, she and Kal headed back toward the restaurant.

  Halfway there, Kal tugged on her hand. “Wait.”

  She stopped and looked up at him. “What?”

  “This.” He cupped the side of her neck, wound his other arm around her waist to draw her close and pressed his lips to hers.

  He tasted warm and inviting, and she couldn’t help but lean into him, to slide her hands along his arms so she could feel the heat of his skin. His hand snaked along her back and farther down to cup her butt, drawing her against the rigid length of his erection.

  And here they were, out in public, making out between parked cars, and all she wanted to do was be alone and naked with him.

  She pulled back, trying to catch her breath. “Party guests.”

  He laid his forehead against hers. “Damn.” He blew out a breath. “Okay, give me a minute.”

  “Want me to quote baseball statistics to you?”

  He laughed. “Do you know baseball statistics?”

  She cocked her head to the side. “Are you really going to ask me that? Who has the highest batting average of all time?”

  Now it was his turn to give her a look. “Easy. Ty Cobb.”

  “Longest home run ever hit?”

  “Babe Ruth.”

  “The longest at bat in history?”

  He opened his mouth, then closed it. She smirked.

  “I suppose you know the answer.”

  “San Francisco’s Brandon Belt, against the Angels’ Jaime Barria. Twenty-one pitches. The at bat lasted twelve minutes and forty-five seconds.”

  “Damn. And how do you know this shit?”

  She shrugged. “I have a thing for statistics.”

  “And did Belt get a hit?”

  “No, he flied out.”

  He shook his head. “The things I’m still learning about you.”

  She grinned. “I’m amazing, right? And now your boner is gone, so let’s go inside.”

  He laughed and put his arm around her. “You are magic, Hannah.”

  She liked the way he said that. She laid her head against his shoulder as they walked. “You just keep remembering that, Kal.”

  CHAPTER 25

  “HEY, DONOVAN. YOU IN DREAMLAND TODAY OR WHAT?” Phil asked. “I’m waiting on slack for that rope.”

  Kal blinked, realizing he was on the job and needed to get his head on straight. “I’m on it.”

  He slacked the rope for Phil, who was working in some pretty tight quarters in a pipe where two workers had been stuck after one end caved in. Phil and Meg were currently working the pipe while the rest of the team provided support topside.

  “We’ve got one hooked on to the red rope and ready to pull out,” Meg said.

  “Roger,” Lieutenant Anderson said. “All right, team. Let’s do this slow and easy.”

  Phil had already let the team know that neither of the workers had serious injuries. It was just a matter of pulling them out without causing any injuries—or further damage to the pipe, which could put the workers and their team members in danger.

  Phil and Meg had harnessed the workers, so now Kal and Irish were in charge of the red rope, which contained the first worker’s harness. They began to pull, slow and easy, since the pipe was tight. Phil fed them verbal instructions on how the ascent was coming along, since the team above had no visual.

  “Okay, a little slower, you’re getting to a tight spot. Now . . . hold.”

  Kal and Irish stopped and waited, holding tight to their rope to make sure the worker they had charge of didn’t move either higher or lower.

  “Okay,” Phil said. “Start pulling up again.”

  It was painstaking work, and it took a while, but after about ten minutes they had the first worker freed from the pipe. He had a few cuts and abrasions, but other than that he looked okay.

  Micah and Andy had already started pulling the second worker out. Once he was freed, they retrieved Meg and Phil from the pipe. Their team members were dusty and had a few abrasions of their own.

  “It was tight as hell down there,” Meg said. “I don’t know if we could have gotten them out if that pipe had been any smaller.”

  “But you did get them out, and that’s what counts,” the lieutenant said. “Job well done. Let’s pack up our equipment and get out of here.”

  Kal began to roll up the ropes.

  “You somewhere else today, Donovan?” Phil asked when he came over.

  “No.”

  “It was like I was talking to myself down there. I need an alert team member, and that wasn’t you. Pull your head out of your ass.”

  “Yeah. Sorry about that. It won’t happen again.”

  Phil pointed his finger at Kal’s chest. “See that it doesn’t.”

  Kal put his head down and resumed folding the rope, taking a deep breath and wishing he could have done that rescue over again.

  The last thing he needed was to be anything less than perfect on the job, and especially when he was working with either Phil or Dean, the two guys who for some reason he still couldn’t fathom seemed to have it out for him. And so what did he do today? He let his mind drift, to think about Hannah, when he should have had his head on work and only work.

  But he’d been thinking about the future, playing a game of what-ifs about Hannah and him.

  He couldn’t let that happen again. His job was too important to him.

  He went to the truck to store gear.

  “You okay?” Meg asked.

  He shook his head. “I let my mind wander, and Phil kicked my ass about it.”

  “Hey, it happens. And he’s not perfect, either. Don’t let him kid you into thinking he is. The rescue was textbook. Don’t worry about it.”

  He nodded. “Thanks.”

  Meg was right, and he should let it go, but it was all he thought about through shift. He’d done nothing but work on high alert the entire time he’d been with the TRT. Mainly to prove to himself that he could do this job that he loved, but also because Phil and Dean had been riding his ass since the first day he’d reported for duty here.

  He had something to prove, and he couldn’t for one second half-ass his way through any rescue. Today had been a good reminder of that. Focus first on the job, especially when he was on the job. Let everything else slide to days off.

  Which was hard to do when Hannah was on his mind all the time. Every day. Every night.

  Which was either a really good thing, or maybe a not-so-good thing.

  He needed a sounding board.

  After shift the next morning, he drove over to his parents’ house. The garage door was open, so he knew his parents were home. There was one of them he needed to talk to.

  He knew his mom worked at home today.

  He knocked, then went inside. Dad was at the kitchen table drinking coffee and looking at his phone. He smiled when Kal walked in.

  “Don’t tell me. You came to surprise me and mow the lawn.”

  “I can do that if you want me to.”

  “I was joking. I was just about to head to the hardware store. Wanna come with me?”

  “Actually, I was hoping to talk with Mom. Is she around?”

  He motioned down the hall. “She’s in her office.”

  “If she’s working . . .”

  His dad cracked a smile. “She’ll still be happy to see you. Go on. I’ll see you later.”

  “Okay, Dad. Thanks.”

  He headed down the hall and stopped at the glass doors in front of his mom’s office. She wasn’t on the phone, so he lightly tapped. She looked up and smiled, then motioned him inside.

  She stood up when he walked in and wrapped him in a hug. That hug alone already helped to relieve some of his stress.

  “Hey, baby. What brings you here today?”

  “Just thoug
ht I’d stop by. How’s work going?”

  “Pretty good today, actually. I’ve got a couple of kids placed with amazing foster parents that are looking to make that placement permanent.”

  He knew kids getting adopted permanently was one of the happiest parts of his mother’s job. She’d been instrumental in adopting him, Jackson and Rafe and making them all a family. He didn’t know what would have happened to the three of them without having her and his dad come into their lives. “That’s great news.”

  “Yes, it is. Both for the kids and for the parents. Let’s go get some coffee. I’ve been working nonstop since seven. I could use a break and a chat.”

  And by chat, she meant she’d listen and he’d talk. His mom had always had good insight about her sons, always knew whenever they were happy or sad or upset about something. It’s why he loved the only woman he’d ever considered a mother. Not only was she an amazing woman and a fantastic social worker who cared about all the children she worked with, she was also an incredible mom.

  Kal had always felt closest to his mother. He’d felt an instant connection to her from the moment she’d come into his life. He’d never felt close to his birth mom, hadn’t felt a connection to her because she’d never been affectionate with him, but he never knew why. Her distance hurt him as a child, especially when she hadn’t stood up for him when his stepdad had started beating on him.

  He’d talked a lot to Laurel about it after they’d all been adopted, had always wondered why his birth mother hadn’t loved him enough to protect him. Laurel had told him she didn’t have an answer for that, that only his birth mother knew why, but Laurel suggested she’d probably been abused long before Kal showed up, and she’d moved from one abusive man to another. Mom explained that his birth mother had likely been suffering from PTSD and was so afraid for herself that she couldn’t show love for him. And that fear for her own safety kept her from intervening when Kal’s stepdad had beat him.

  Kal could still remember the nights he’d lain huddled in his bed under the covers, trying to muffle the sounds of his mother’s screaming while she endured the beatings. It had taken him a long time and a lot of conversations to come to grips with the fact that he’d been relieved that it was her this time and not him. He carried a lot of guilt over that, and that guilt warred with his anger at his mother for not protecting him—for not doing something to protect both of them.

  It hadn’t been his fault that his stepfather was an abusive monster. None of his circumstances had been his fault. He’d been too young to take care of himself, too young to defend his mother. When he realized she was never going to step up and get them out of the situation, he’d run out of a sense of self-preservation. He’d never been happier than to find Jackson and Rafe on the streets. For the first time in his life, he’d had a family. And then he’d been rescued by Laurel and Josh, and Laurel had been the one to put in the work, to take the time to help him heal.

  She had talked to him about his past, had helped him open up about the abuses he’d endured. She’d given him an understanding that he hadn’t had as a child, and maybe a little bit of forgiveness for his birth mother. It had allowed him to leave that part of his life in the past and move forward with the adoptive parents he had grown to love so much.

  He had never known what it had taken for Laurel and Josh to gain custody of him. Had Laurel tracked down his mother, and had his mother just signed over her rights? Had she died? He’d never asked, hadn’t wanted to know.

  Some questions were best left unanswered. And the past belonged in the past.

  His mom brewed two coffees, and they sat at the kitchen table, evoking memories of so many times they’d sat together and talked things out.

  “Did your shift go okay?” she asked.

  Kal shrugged. “We had a close-quarters rescue. I was on rope duty.”

  She waited a beat before asking. “And?”

  “My mind drifted, and one of my team members called me on it.”

  “Okay. So what’s on your mind that you couldn’t concentrate on your job?”

  Kal took a sip of coffee. “Hannah.”

  She nodded and leaned back in the chair. “I see. Good or bad?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, I think about her all the time. Normally, when I’m on shift, the only thing I’m thinking about is the job. But lately, thoughts about her are creeping in.”

  “What kinds of thoughts?” She lifted her lips in a half smile. “Or are those off-limits?”

  “No, nothing off-limits. I’ve been thinking about the future.”

  “A future with Hannah in it, you mean.”

  “Yeah.”

  She took a swallow of coffee, then tapped her fingers on the table while she thought. “So things are serious between the two of you, then?”

  “Well, that’s the thing. It’s not like we’ve talked about it. It’s just in my head right now.”

  “Maybe you should talk to her about it so it’s not in your head.”

  That seemed easy enough, theoretically. But actually having that conversation with Hannah? Not so easy. “Yeah, maybe I should.”

  “I sense a ‘but’ in there.”

  “She’s wary. Just coming off a divorce. She wants to be independent, do things on her timeline. I don’t blame her for that.”

  “And you think what’s in your head, what you want to talk to her about, might be rushing her.”

  “Yeah, maybe. I don’t know.” He ran his hand over the top of his head. “I didn’t expect to run into her again, to start things up with her again after all these years. To feel what I feel for her. And for Oliver.”

  His mother nodded and continued to sip her coffee without saying anything, which meant she was mulling things over. And probably expecting him to do the same. He knew his mom, knew she wasn’t going to solve this problem for him, that she’d expect him to deal with it on his own. She’d always been there for him as a sounding board, but the solution was going to have to come from him.

  “I should give her space,” he said. “And let things between us play out like they’re supposed to.”

  She gave him a probing look. “Are you in some kind of hurry?”

  “I guess not.”

  “Is she dating some other guy?”

  “No.”

  She laid her hand on top of his. “Then take things slow with her, baby. Do exactly as you said. Give the girl some space and let her breathe. Allow the two of you to come together naturally, like you’re supposed to. Love isn’t some kind of race that you have to win, Kal. It’s a slow, beautiful journey. Take your time getting there. And enjoy it.”

  He took a deep breath and let it out. “You’re right. Thanks, Mom.”

  She smiled. “Anytime. And just from my personal observations, I think she feels the same way.”

  His pulse rate spiked at her words. “You do? How?”

  “The way her face lights up when you walk into a room. You can read a lot on a woman’s face when she looks at a man. The things she does for you that means she cares for you, that she wants what’s best for you.”

  “Like planning the birthday party.”

  “Yes. And how she trusts you with Oliver—and believe me, that’s not easy, especially for a single mother.”

  “I really like that kid.”

  “I think you more than like him. Kind of like how you feel about his mother.”

  “Yeah. Which is why I’ve been so much in my head.” He blew out a breath. “Too much thinking.”

  She squeezed his hand. “Stop thinking so much and be in the moment more. Things will happen like they’re supposed to.”

  He had to believe that. He had to stop trying to control every situation, to make things happen as he planned.

  “Thanks. I needed this conversation to get my head on straight.”

  “I’m always here for you. And pay attention at work. You know how your dad feels about that.”

  His lips curved. “Yes, ma’am.”

&n
bsp; Now he felt better. More focused. His mom was right. He had to get out of his own way and just enjoy what was happening between Hannah and him. Their relationship was going great, and things would happen as they were meant to happen. He didn’t need to push it to move along any faster than it was already going.

  Knowing that Hannah might be feeling the same way he did helped.

  Now he could relax. As much as he was gonna relax about the Hannah situation anyway.

  CHAPTER 26

  OLIVER’S EXCITEMENT OVER HALLOWEEN WAS INFECTIOUS. He’d been practically pacing nonstop since he woke up this morning, waiting for dark. He was driving Hannah crazy.

  Fortunately, Kal had the day off, and he’d come over midday, which had been super helpful in distracting Oliver so Hannah could get a few things accomplished. She’d managed to pay a few bills and do two loads of laundry, as well as get dinner put together while Oliver and Kal had kicked the ball around outside, then come in to play some games on the TV. Kal was very adept at keeping a seven-year-old boy occupied. The amazing thing about that was Kal never lost interest or told Oliver he was done playing with him. It was like he could do it all day long. And he seemed genuine in his desire to hang out with Oliver.

  A kid always knew when an adult didn’t like them. Oliver adored Kal, so she knew Kal’s feelings for Oliver were the real deal.

  He never failed to surprise her.

  She’d made pulled pork sandwiches, along with coleslaw and sliced fruit. At least Oliver could get some food in his stomach before he bombarded it with candy. They sat and ate, though Oliver was squirming in his chair as the sun began to sink below the trees.

  “Momma. Kids will be out trick-or-treating soon. Can we go now?”

  “Not until dark. Eat your dinner.”

  “This sandwich is great, Hannah,” Kal said as he finished a bite. “I could eat three of them.”

  Oliver looked over at Kal. “You’re not gonna stay and eat three, are ya?”

  “I might. You’d wait for me, wouldn’t you, buddy?”

  Oliver laid his head against his hand. “I guess so.”

  Hannah resisted the urge to smile.

  In the end, Kal only ate one sandwich. They cleaned up the table, and Oliver dashed into his bedroom to change. He’d decided to switch costumes from superhero to firefighter, and fortunately, Hannah had found one in his size. When he came out wearing it, Kal’s eyes widened.