All Consuming

by Burton, Jaci

  She walked around, sliding her fingers over the granite countertops. “I can see why you’d like it.”

  He took her hand and led her through the back door, flipping on the light. “And look at this backyard. Built-in kitchen, fire pit, and plenty of room to build a pool.”

  She took in the view. “This is really amazing. So spacious.”

  “Right?” They stepped inside and he flipped the light off, then walked with her down the hall toward the bedrooms. “Four bedrooms, two bathrooms. The master is killer. It’s huge.”

  “It definitely is,” she said as they walked through all the rooms. “Nice bathroom, too. It looks like they renovated everything. I like that soaker tub in the master.”

  He loved that she loved everything. “Yeah. And all the bedrooms are big. Which one do you think Oliver would like?”

  She stopped abruptly and spun around to look at him. “Wait. What?”

  “Oliver. For his room? Which one do you think he’ll choose?”

  She held up her hands. “Wait a minute. This house is for you, right?”

  “For us. For you and me and for Oliver.”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  Now it was his turn to frown. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, no. N-O, Kal. I don’t want this.”

  “You don’t like the house?”

  “I love the house. The house is great. You should buy it. For yourself. Not for me. I’m not moving in here with you.”

  Now he was really confused. “I don’t get it. So you like the house, but it’s not for you?”

  “No. When and if I can afford to buy a house, I’ll buy one. With my own money. For me and for my son.”

  What she was saying didn’t make any sense to him. “Hannah. Maybe I didn’t make this clear. I want us to move in together. Make plans for a future together. You and me and Oliver. Like a family.”

  “No, you didn’t make that clear, but the fact that you assumed that I’d just ride along on your grand plan without even consulting me about your house-hunting adventure is so typical of the male species it should be written in the ‘Dumb Things Men Do’ guidebook.”

  Ouch. “Okay, maybe I thought you were ready to—”

  “That’s the problem, Kal. You just thought. You didn’t talk to me at all. No, I’m not ready. I’ll never be ready. Not for this. Can you just take me home now?”

  “Sure.” He didn’t know what else to say.

  As they walked out, he gave Naomi a tight smile and told her he’d call her later. Fortunately, this house was only a couple of blocks from Hannah’s, because the silence in the truck was icy. She got out as soon as he’d parked, then pulled her packages out of the truck.

  “Hannah, wait.”

  She clutched the bags to her chest and turned to face him.

  She didn’t say anything, so he had to. “I guess . . . I need to know how you feel.”

  “How do I feel? I don’t know how I feel, Kal. Not right now.”

  He stepped toward her. “Then I’ll tell you how I feel. I’m in love with you. And I love Oliver, and I want both of you in my life. But if that’s not what you want, then you need to let me know, because I’m invested. My heart is invested, and I thought yours was, too.”

  She looked at him and he waited.

  And waited.

  “Like I said, I don’t know, Kal. I’m not sure how I feel. I just need some time, okay?”

  He gave her a quick nod and watched while she turned her back on him, walked away and closed the door without once turning around.

  It took him a few minutes of standing there in her driveway before he could climb in his truck and drive away.

  Okay, so he’d had this all wrong. He figured that this would all turn out like it had for Rafe. That he’d surprise her with his plans to get a house for them. That Hannah would be thrilled and excited to start a new chapter of her life with him.

  He’d been dead wrong. He’d been wrong about Hannah.

  Maybe this was her way of getting back at him from ten years ago, when he’d made the decision to break them up.

  Maybe they hadn’t grown and changed.

  Maybe nothing had changed at all.

  CHAPTER 31

  “MOMMA, CAN I HANG UP THIS ORNAMENT THAT DADDY made for me?” Oliver asked, dangling the wooden motorcycle that Landon had made when Oliver was two.

  Hannah gritted her teeth and smiled. “Sure.”

  “Kal said we were gonna go to the Christmas store. And that we’d get a fireman ornament.”

  “Kal’s . . . busy right now, baby.”

  Oliver looked at her. “I miss him, Momma. Is he gonna come over soon?”

  Hannah tensed. “We’ll see. How about you find your Spider-Man ornament and hang that on the tree?”

  “Okay.”

  Oliver helped her decorate the tree, then lost interest and asked if he could go play with Jeff. She called Becca, who said Jeff was available, so Oliver dashed over, leaving Hannah and her mother to finish putting up the Christmas decorations.

  Great. Just one more task to do today. One more joy-filled thing on her to-do list.

  “I don’t know who filled this box last, but it’s a mess,” she said, rummaging through papers and packing material. “I can’t find a thing.”

  “Girl, you’ve been griping around this house for a week now. Usually the holiday season puts you in your happy place. What’s wrong with you?”

  Hannah handed her mother one of the decorations to put on the mantel. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.”

  “Right. Snippy, grouchy, grumbly, angry, pouty, sniffly . . .” Her mother paused. “If I could come up with one more, you could be an updated version of the Seven Dwarfs all in one person.”

  She was not . . . all those things her mom had just said. She reached into the box for the Christmas stockings and hung those up, smoothing her hand over Oliver’s. Hanging Oliver’s stocking always made her happy. Now it just made her . . . what was one of those words?

  Oh, right. Tears welled in her eyes and she sniffled.

  Sniffly. That was it.

  Nothing was going right. She wasn’t all right.

  She’d done the right thing in breaking up with Kal. Whatever choices she made were always the best ones for her son. And for herself. Going it alone was for the best. Everything had become so complicated. Now it would be easier. She could concentrate on building up her clientele at the salon and taking care of Oliver, with nothing else to get in the way.

  “And where’s Kal?” her mom asked.

  She stuffed her head in the bottom of the box, but found it empty, so she shoved it aside and opened the next box.

  “Did you think by ignoring me I’m not going to ask the question again? Where’s Kal?”

  “We broke up,” she mumbled.

  “Oh, honey, no. Why?”

  Hannah shrugged, then sat on the floor and looked up at her mom. “I don’t know. He wanted to buy a house.”

  Her mother frowned. “And that’s bad, why exactly?”

  “He wanted to buy a house that we could all live in.”

  Her mother gave her the side-eye. “How dreadful. I can see why you dumped him.”

  “Mom.”

  “Mom, what? He treated you terribly by wanting to share his life with you? With Oliver?”

  “It’s more complicated than that.”

  “Explain it to me.”

  “It’s really complicated.”

  Her mother moved the boxes aside and took a seat on the sofa, then patted a spot next to her. “And I’m not stupid, so talk to me.”

  With a sigh, Hannah pushed up from the floor and stood, then sat next to her mother.

  “Landon was here a few weeks ago.”

  Her mother’s eyes widened. “He was? What did he want?”

  “To see Oliver, of course. On his terms. Like pulling him out of school. He was on his way to North Carolina for a new job. Made all these promises about how he was goi
ng to include Oliver in his life, start calling him regularly.”

  Her mom nodded. “And he never did.”

  “He never did.”

  Her mom patted her knee. “I’m sorry. For both of you.”

  “I’m sorry for Oliver. I was over Landon a long time ago. Fortunately, Oliver doesn’t even know Landon was here. I keep hoping he’ll change, for Oliver’s sake, but I don’t think that’s ever going to happen.”

  “You can’t make someone be something they’re not. And someday Oliver will realize that, honey. You just have to let it go.”

  “I know I do. I just hurt for Oliver, for the mistakes I made. That I keep making.” She let out a long sigh. “And then there’s Kal. And me. Mostly me.”

  “I thought you two were getting along so well.”

  “We were. But there are things I want for myself. To be able to do by myself. I want to be independent. To save money and to buy a house myself. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice.”

  “Hannah, Kal is nothing like Landon. He’s responsible. He has a great job. He loves Oliver. He loves you.”

  She looked down at her hands. “He told me he loves me.”

  “And what did you say?”

  “Nothing. That I need some space.”

  “So you don’t love him back?”

  Tears pricked her eyes. “That’s the thing. I do love him. But I’m afraid. I messed up so badly the first time. And this time it’s not just my heart that’s in the mix. It’s Oliver’s, too.”

  “Oh, baby.” Her mother folded her into her arms and held her. “Maybe it’s time to stop running away. Especially from a good man who loves you.”

  “I know.”

  Hannah had to admit that while it wouldn’t solve her problems, there was nothing better than being held by your mom while you tried to work out in your head how you were going to fix the mess you’d made.

  Because she did love Kal. And maybe they weren’t on the same page as far as future planning, but she couldn’t just walk away from him.

  She missed him so much her heart felt like it was tearing in two.

  There had to be a way back from this. And the only way to do that was to talk to him, to figure things out.

  She had to stop running away from things that scared her. And loving Kal scared her more than anything had ever scared her before.

  It was time to woman up and face it. Face him. Then maybe together they’d figure out what to do.

  If he would even speak to her.

  CHAPTER 32

  THE ENTIRE TRT STOOD ON THE TOP OF THE HIGH RISE, looking down below at the two construction workers hanging on to the scaffolding that had somehow given way and was now tilted at a forty-five-degree angle.

  “At least they’re tied off,” Meg said.

  “Which isn’t gonna do them much good if that scaffold collapses and plummets them down forty stories,” Irish said.

  “Okay, let’s get ropes and pulleys into action,” Lieutenant Anderson said. “Donovan and Starling, I want the two of you rappelling down for rescue.”

  “Yes, sir,” Kal said, immediately climbing into his harness and grabbing the equipment he’d need. Phil and Micah would have the lead on ropes that would hold Kal and Dean. The others would have the ropes and pulleys to bring up the two construction workers.

  The top of the high rise was forty-six stories, which meant they’d rappel down six stories. Winds were high, so this wasn’t going to be an easy rescue. It also meant the situation below was precarious. They needed to get a move on before that scaffold became even more unstable. They’d have to work quickly, but safely.

  A rescue like this meant that Kal and Dean had to put their trust in the team. Phil had hold of Kal’s rope. As Phil hooked on and checked everything on Kal’s harness, he turned him around.

  “I’ve got you,” he said.

  Kal nodded and swung over the side, beginning his descent. He kept his focus only on getting down to the stranded workers.

  Wind whipped around him, furious and unrelenting. They needed to hurry. He took a quick glance across to see that Dean was struggling, too. The descent seemed to take forever, though he knew only a few minutes had passed before they reached the workers, who were hanging on for dear life.

  Scaffolding wasn’t all that steady, either.

  “Wind just picked up out of nowhere,” one of the workers said as Kal reached him. “We never would’ve been on this thing in high winds. And then the cable suddenly failed.”

  “It’s okay,” Kal said. “I’ve got you.”

  Dean was working on his guy, too, so Kal could concentrate on doing what needed to be done. He attached a harness and rope to the worker, then radioed to the team to start pulling the worker up.

  Dean’s guy went up just after Kal’s, but then a huge gust of wind blasted the scaffold against the steel frame of the building. Dean got caught up in the rigging and the scaffold shot him sideways, slamming him against one of the beams.

  “Dean!” Kal yelled as he saw his team member go limp.

  He hustled his way over to Dean to check him out. He was unconscious after that hit and Kal didn’t know the extent of his injuries. This was not good.

  “What’s going on down there, Donovan?” his lieutenant radioed.

  “Starling got slammed against a beam. He’s unconscious. Injuries unknown. I’m hooking on to him now, sir. Will notify as soon as we’re ready to lift up.”

  “Roger.”

  He put a c-collar on Dean, then hooked his harness to Dean’s and radioed the team to raise them both. They were up on the main floor within a minute, every team member grabbing on to Dean, who by now was starting to regain consciousness. They had already called down for a basket from Station 65, who’d been waiting on the ground, and EMTs were on their way up to attend to Dean.

  Kal’s pulse raced as they put Dean into the basket and took him downstairs to the waiting ambulance where news crews waited to interview him and the rest of the team. As usual, the TRT was more interested in attending to their jobs than they were in answering questions. They’d let the department PR team handle that. But for some reason cameras had caught his rescue of Dean, so they’d stuck a mic and a camera in his face and asked him tons of questions about how it had all gone down. His lieutenant had told him to answer a few questions so the media would go away.

  He wasn’t very comfortable being in front of cameras, but he gave a recap of the team’s rescue today, giving them a step-by-step of what the team had done and how they had done it. The fact that the media kept coming back to him, personally, irked him, but he kept it on point, making sure to note it was a team effort. Finally they seemed to have enough sound bites and went to interview the construction workers so he could continue doing his job.

  Both workers were unharmed, only a little shaky, so EMTs checked them out and released them.

  After cleanup, they drove to the hospital to check on Dean. Carmen was working the ER so she came over to them when they arrived.

  “He’s got some scrapes and maybe a concussion. He’s in CT right now, and his wife’s in the room if one of you want to go back there and talk to her.”

  Lieutenant Anderson stepped forward. “I’ll go.”

  Carmen nodded, smiled at Kal and placed her hand on his arm. “He’s going to be okay.”

  Kal nodded. “Thanks.”

  Phil came over to him. “You know her?”

  “She’s my sister-in-law. She’s the nursing supervisor of the ER. She knows her shit. So if she says Dean’s gonna be okay, then he will.”

  “Thanks.” He started to turn away, then stopped. “You acted fast. You saved my partner’s life. You did good out there today, Donovan.”

  Kal nodded.

  “I’ve given you a hard time, thinking you didn’t deserve to be on this team. I was wrong.”

  Kal knew it had taken a lot for Phil to admit that. He also knew how close Phil and Dean were. “We’re brothers. All of us. It’s what
we do for each other.”

  “Yeah. It is.” Phil laid his hand on Kal’s shoulder, then walked away.

  They all waited, pacing and nervous for an hour and a half until Carmen came out again.

  “You can all go in. But just for a minute. And no loud voices and no ruckus. Understood?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Irish said, looking to Kal as they walked quietly down the hall. “She’s mean.”

  Kal’s lips lifted into a smile. He couldn’t wait to tell Carmen that later. She’d love it.

  They opened the door to see Dean sitting up in bed. He grinned when the team walked in.

  “Well?” Meg asked. “You gonna live?”

  “I am. Thanks to Kal.”

  Kal blinked in surprise.

  “Yeah,” Phil said, “thanks to Kal, my best friend is going to live to swing on a rope another day.”

  They all surrounded him, shook his hand, patted him on the shoulder, then made their exit.

  “Kal, wait,” Dean said.

  Kal stayed behind.

  “Thank you for what you did out there today. You showed amazing skill and you were damn brave. I was wrong about you. I’m sorry.”

  Kal laid his hand on his shoulder. “Apology accepted. I’m just really glad you’re okay. Get well so we can see you back on the team.”

  “Thanks, brother.”

  As he left the room, Kal felt as if a boulder had been lifted off of his shoulders. All he’d ever wanted was to feel a part of the TRT. And he’d only felt partly on the team, because not all the members had accepted him. Now they all did. And it felt great. Out-fucking-standing, actually.

  All he had to do was straighten out the rest of his life. And that part wasn’t going to be as easy as dangling off of a forty-six-story skyscraper.

  Because you couldn’t make someone love you who didn’t.

  And he didn’t know how to change that.

  CHAPTER 33

  HANNAH HAD SPENT THE ENTIRE NIGHT PACING. WORRYING. Thinking.

  She’d seen the TRT rescue on the news, had seen the way Kal had rappelled over to rescue his fellow firefighter while dangling forty-something stories above the ground. Her heart had leaped into her throat when they’d interviewed Kal and she realized it had been him up there.