“We need to know if you’re in,” Drake says, stepping forward. There is no doubt in his eyes. Why would I decline? Rev is my enemy. Rev wants to kill me.
I swallow, heart aching but somehow I keep my head high as I answer. “Of course.”
AN OWL CRASHES INTO my chest the moment I reach the bottom of the spiral stairs. I fumble to catch her without breaking one of her wings. My mind is still reeling over everything I learned during my meeting with Drake. She wiggles in my arms.
I blink and grip Raven’s owl wings tightly. “What?”
She squeals quietly. Disconcerting but only for me. She’s getting better at keeping her presence unnoticed. “I’m not in the mood for this, Ray.” My voice is weak.
She stretches her neck up, nipping my ear with her sharp beak. “Ow!”
She leaps from my arms and flies down the path in front of me, away from the estate and into the forest on the edge of the grounds. I groan but follow her.
Dark trees with yellow and orange leaves surround me as I reach the little snowy owl sitting in the middle of the path. I look around quickly and then wave, removing the magic on her form.
She grows into the lovely human I know in one quick click. She’s on her feet, poised, but with an angry expression on her face. “What the hell was that?”
I close my eyes, shoulders slumping, standing awkwardly five feet away. She doesn’t move closer. “What?” I ask tiredly.
“You’re going to kill Rev now?”
I swallow, watching her expression closely. “What do you care?”
The wind whispers through the leaves around us, rustling gently. It reminds me of the Whisperwood, where the shadows whisper, bouncing through the trees. I could go back there, if I do this. I could go home. I would be free of this curse.
“I care about you!” she says. “You know you can’t do this—it will kill you.”
I bite my lip and pause. I don’t know what I know.
“You told me you hate yourself for what you did all those years ago. And you’re going to do it again. You told me you want to change how people see you, and you’re going to double down on your old reputation.”
I pull in a long shaky breath. I’ve never seen Raven so passionate. I’ve never heard her speak so deliberately.
“I’ve seen this before, Caelynn. I’ve seen people I love give up. I’ve seen them fall back into the void again and again.”
My stomach drops. She’s comparing me with her mother.
“I never said I was going to go through with it!” I shout quickly, panic rising my chest. It’s not like I could tell Drake I was going to betray him. I still haven’t decided. I haven’t... I don’t know what to think.
“Not with your voice. But your eyes give you away.” Her bottom lip trembles. “You’re giving up, just like my mom gave up,” she whispers. “But I won’t let you.” Her hands clench into fists.
“It’s not that simple, Ray. I... I don’t have a choice.”
“Of course you do! You always have a choice.”
“I can’t,” I say, my voice so small now. So brittle. “I can’t stop it. I’m not strong enough.”
“That’s what my mother said,” she whispers. My heart shatters but my darkness strengthens me. I accepted this part of myself a long time ago. I suppose it was only a matter of time before it cost me the last person who loves me.
Raven won’t forgive me if I do this. And yet, there isn’t another option.
“You’re doing the same thing. You’re going right back to the thing that broke you. Replaying it over and over again.”
I swallow, remembering the state Raven was in when she found her mother barely clinging to life. But doesn’t she get this is different?
“Cae, please,” she whispers, so achingly sad. She steps forward, reaching for me, but I step back. She chokes on a sob. “Don’t do it. Please,” she begs.
Kill him, the echoing voice of my worst memory shivers through me. My teeth chatter.
I’m not strong enough for this.
“You told me you were stronger than all of them.”
“I am, but not more than four of them together. If I were to stand against them, I would be committing suicide. And Rev wants to kill me. He will kill me if I give him the chance. I can’t align with him. He wouldn’t believe me if I were to tell him...”
Her face crumples, tears running down her cheeks. Does she finally understand the hopelessness of the situation?
This is the only way I can win this game. I knew it would take ruthlessness. I knew it could rip my soul to shreds again and again. If I could do it differently, I would. I don’t want Rev to die. I really don’t want Rev to die.
But I can’t stop it no matter what I do.
“Then let’s run. Now. We’ll leave the fae realm and go back home. We’ll make a life together.”
“Rev will still die,” I say, voice devoid of life. “It won’t change anything, except I really would be giving up.”
I allow my anger, my pain, my darkness, to fortify me once again, curling around my broken and scarred soul like armor. I pause to consider before I flick my hand, and force my last friend into her raven form.
She screeches in anger and pain but flies off into the dark night, leaving me alone. Always alone.
Rev
The morning of the third challenge arrives and tension coils in my gut.
I still haven’t talked with Brielle. The only assurance of her continued friendship is Rook’s word. I generally trust him... but something still doesn’t feel right.
In preparation for this trial—which I suspect will be the most physically demanding of them all—I refrained from alcohol, took a sleeping draft, slept a full nine hours, and declined a run this morning.
I’m the first in the training hall, and I spend a half hour doing minor exercises, mostly because I’m wound so tight.
Brielle and Rook enter the training center next, marching dramatically.
“Hey,” I say cautiously as they approach.
“Hey.” Brielle doesn’t meet my eyes, and my stomach sinks.
Rook slaps me on the shoulder with a big smile. “You ready? This one is going to be fun; I can feel it.”
I pull in a long breath. All I feel is barely hidden panic. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
He only smiles bigger.
Rook and I spar for a few minutes as the other champions enter the hall. We all stop to watch as Caelynn enters. I watch her features closer than before. Her eyes are dim, as usual, hooded and uninterested. Her motions smooth and posture confident.
Today, she is outwardly more prepared than before. Gone are her jeans and T-shirt. Now she wears leather pants, solid boots, and a tunic and carries a pack over her back presumably full of supplies for the long trial.
I have no idea what to make of her after that vision. The innocent, lovely female my brother tormented... Was it all a joke to screw with me, or was it real? I close my eyes, and that girl’s face stares back at me. Young. Bright. Innocent. Happy.
The fae warrior before me is nothing like the girl from my vision. The only thing the two have in common is their beauty.
When I open my eyes, I find Brielle watching me. Her eyes are wide, but otherwise, her expression is unreadable.
She blinks, her eyes softening. “Now is our chance. She won’t survive this challenge, right?”
My stomach twists, but she’s right. That vision shouldn’t affect my emotions. The second trial’s entire purpose was to test us in the most brutal ways. My task had been to choose. It was just trying to mess with my resolve.
I shake my head. No matter what kind of deceptions I face, no matter how believable—I’d have to choose. Kill her, or let her live.
I’ve already made my choice.
Caelynn
I enter the training center with only ten minutes to spare. I ran this morning and probably pushed myself harder than I should have, but my thoughts were twisting around in my brain so tight I
couldn’t tell which way was up. The next thing I knew, I was sprinting at full speed.
Today is the start of an extreme endurance challenge—both physically and emotionally—and I’ve used up more of that energy than was at all wise. Now, I’ll just have to live with the consequences.
The queen has yet to announce it officially, but apparently all the fae who hate me will now have an open license to kill me. The last time they tried to kill me indirectly. Traps, wicked creatures, and backhanded attacks. Now? They could all turn on me, shove a blade through my heart and move on—no questions asked.
Like they’re planning to do to Rev...
Despite what Drake said, I know I am target number one. The only reason they’ve added a name above mine is because if they want to kill Rev, they know they’re going to need the most power on their side. They think it will be easy to remove me later.
The strategy of hiding my power has been immensely beneficial. I’d be doomed if they knew how strong my magic was.
Over the last two weeks, I’ve managed to build some muscle and trained with my blades using the training center, even taking advantage of the blade masters when they’re willing.
This time, I am ready.
I force every ounce of doubt out of my mind. My pain is my fuel. My darkness my strength.
The champions begin gathering at the gates, and I approach slowly, watching each of my opponents closely. Despite a new alliance, I don’t trust a single one of them.
I am Caelynn of the Shadow Court. I have no friends. Not anymore.
I take the spot next to Tyadin, but he doesn’t even glance my way. Today, he’s in his armor again, and I get the feeling he’s more comfortable this way. It’ll slow him down, but maybe, today, that’ll work in his favor.
Since the first day of this trial has become a planned blood bath, most of the action is likely to be long over if he’s delayed. The contestants would like to get him out of the way, but only if it’s convenient. They won’t go out of their way. Same with me.
They keep assuming they’ll have a chance to get rid of me whenever the mood strikes, so they’re focused on their stronger enemies. I like this thought process. It works in our favor.
I lean closer to Tyadin only to notice Drake watching me. I stand up straight and adjust my bag. I’d like to warn him, but the champions are too close together. It’ll have to wait.
The massive ruby gates crack, light peeking through. Once again, I stand in the center and close my eyes as the bright light streams through and warms my face. This moment, this in-between, one beam pressing through the darkness—it’s the only time I can pretend to feel what I’ve lost.
The sun will forever haunt me, reminding me of who I am. And who I will never be.
I shiver, but soon the light is so bright it hurts my eyes. I wince and turn away from the brightness only to see someone watching me.
Rev.
His eyes meet mine with an expression that’s—well, it’s not hatred. Curiosity, perhaps? I swallow, unable to hide my emotion for the first time. Just a crack. The smallest sliver of a window, exposing what’s inside of me.
Rev blinks, and his face falls into surprise. He turns quickly, once again leading the pack out into the massive arena.
The crowd roars. They’re eager for a bloodbath. The last challenge only resulted in one champion loss. They’re ready to move on with the competition. They’re eager to lose a few more of us.
The sunlight blasts us as we leave the solace of the quiet and dark training center, and my heart begins beating harder. A black bird soars through the sky in the distance.
I haven’t seen Raven since last night in the forest. She won’t ever forgive me.
When I turned her into a raven it had been because she’d brought attention to her owl form twice in the hour before. I thought a raven safer. But I hadn’t anticipated her avoiding me for this long.
“Kill her!” someone shouts, then another. Until the whole crowd is shouting the chant.
Kill her. Kill her. Kill her. Kill her.
My stomach twists. They’ve learned about the new rule provision, and it’s my head they want on a pike. Perfect.
“Welcome, champions!” A minotaur stands on a booth in the middle of the arena, his pitch-black horns massive. “Today is your third and longest challenge of the Trials of Thorns!”
The crowd screams.
“Each day, you will be given a new task. Five in total. Some will be simple. Others excruciating. This challenge will require endurance and intelligence and strategy and basic survival skills. You must follow clues, travel many miles, sometimes in complete circles, and fight both mental and physical battles for days on end.”
This is the biggest challenge of them all.
“Your arena will consist of hundreds of miles of wilderness. You must find and reach every corner, following the clues. Do not think this is a straightforward challenge—there will be dead ends and misleading clues. Stay diligent. Remain humble, or you will not make it out alive.”
Drake described this challenge as a maze, I keep that in mind as I examine the minotaur’s announcement for clues I may need later.
“As a reminder of what you’re fighting for and against, there are sections of the arena that are marred with the scourge. You will see our world’s true enemy.
“And to make it more realistic, to add a layer of betrayal and brutality, we have removed a previous rule. During this trial, there will be no punishment for any death of a champion—no matter the cause.”
The crowd roars, and another chant of “Kill her” begins.
Lovely.
Brielle smirks over her shoulder at me.
Apparently their hatred of me was renewed with the last challenge.
I cross my arms and soak in the bitter hatred. This is who I am. This is who I will forever be.
Tyadin examines me. “You enjoy this?”
“People wanting me dead? No,” I say honestly, still smiling bitterly. “But I may as well accept it. I may as well let it be my strength, instead of my weakness.”
He purses his lips.
“By the way. I’ve been meaning to warn you, with this new change on killing—”
“They’re going to come for me. I know.”
I step closer, but my whisper is easily veiled under the barrage of hatred. “There is a plan for an ambush outside the first clue.” I cast my eyes down at his armor. “I suggest using your weakness as your strength, at least for today.”
He narrows his eyes, trying to dissect my clue. “It was a mistake, wasn’t it? Refusing you as an ally.” His words are soft, but his expression is schooled into a scowl. From the outside, our conversation probably looks like classic goading. The others are doing the same.
I wink at him. “Tomorrow, things may be very different.”
He takes in a long breath. “I won’t turn on you, unless you attack first or the trial openly demands it.”
I fully anticipate direct hand-to-hand combat at some point during the trials. Typically, that was done as the last trial, the final decider. But there’s no telling what we’ll be made to do out there.
“That much I promise,” he says.
Well, that’s more than I can say for my actual allies.
“Same.”
Rev
Rook stands between Brielle and I. He doesn’t look me in the eye, which causes more discomfort to stir in my gut, but the cheering, the taunting of the crowd for us to kill the betrayer, has brought Brielle alive again. She’s practically glowing.
“Your first task,” the minotaur roars over the chanting crowd, “is to find the Ruby Well in the desert and drink from it. Then follow the clue and await further instruction. Each day a new task will be given and must be completed before the sun sets, or you will be removed from the trials.”
“How much water did you bring?” Brielle asks.
“Twenty ounces. I worried any more would slow us down.”
“It will be e
nough for the day.”
“We’ll have to hope we don’t need to spend several in the desert.”
I am thankful Caspian exited the trials already. His water abilities would have been a huge asset for Drake and Kari.
“Remember, complete the task by the end of the sunset, or you will be rejected from the trials. Let the countdown begin.”
WE SPRINT OFF THROUGH the thorn gates, but the paths beyond are entirely different than the racing trial. We pass through a short stretch of quiet forest and then into the open desert. The way is clear, in the beginning. And with open murder now legal, and the champions this close together, I find myself slowing.
I allow Brielle and Drake to race ahead. At least I won’t have to cover my back so much.
The dwarf falls back, barely running at all. He’s weighed down by his heavy armor, but I find myself wondering if it’s a strategy. You don’t have to be the first to the clues, you just need to make it by sundown. But will the others be willing to linger in the desert to attack him? Unlikely. Shelter will be higher in our priorities.
If he’s the last to reach the well, he very well may be able to complete his task without any conflict. Clever dwarf.
Too bad I don’t have that luxury.
“This way!” Brielle yells, and she drifts off to the east. My legs are already burning from running on the soft sand, but I do my best to keep up with her.
“What?” I call, my face already hot. “This is the wrong direction.” Perhaps that’s another reason to keep it slow—less risk of dehydration. We have until sunset to reach our task, so why exert ourselves this quickly?
“I saw the betrayer go this way. She’s trying to avoid us.”
I slow to a stop, panting. I literally just saw Caelynn run ahead of us, beelining for the northeast like everyone else. “What are you talking about?” I pinch my brows together.
Brielle turns around, fire in her red eyes. “Do you want to kill her or not?” she says, then spits at my feet.
I narrow my eyes. “What’s wrong with you, Brielle? You’ve ignored me for days. Ever since the orb challenge.”
Trial of Thorns (Wicked Fae Book 1) Page 13
