Summer of the Loon

by Deanna Lynn Sletten

  Ali found her voice. "Let him go!" she screamed. "You're hurting him. Let him go!"

  Chase struggled to get free of Ben's grasp, but it was fruitless. Although Chase had youth on his side, Ben was taller, weighed more, and held on firm.

  Jo's face grew angry but she stayed calm. She walked up to Ben and placed her hand on his arm. "Let go of my son, Ben. Now."

  Ben blinked. Jo's calm words hit him hard. He looked straight at Chase, who was turning red from the tight grasp Ben had on him. Slowly, Ben loosened his grip on Chase and took a step back. He looked from Chase to Jo. Then he narrowed his eyes.

  "You said nothing was going on between these two but you were wrong. I just saw them coming out of that cabin. They were kissing. I told you they were getting too close. I told you we'd be sorry." Ben's voice was rose in anger.

  Chase took a breath. "Nothing was going on," he told Ben.

  Ben's eyes blazed at him. "You call that nothing? God dammit boy! You're leaving in a few days and she's going to be left behind." Ben pointed to Ali who was standing there, dumbfounded. "I'll be damned if I'll be stuck with some bastard child to take care of when you leave," Ben yelled. "You get her pregnant, it's on you. It's not going to be my problem."

  "Ben," Jo said, shock covering her face.

  "Oh, my God," Ali said, finally finding her voice. Ben turned and faced her. "Nothing's changed. After everything we've been through together. After everything I've confided in you, you still think I'm just like my mother." Ali took a step back, away from her grandfather. Her voice turned shrill as tears fell down her cheeks. "I thought we were getting closer, but we're not. You're the same mean, angry man you were when I first came here. You won't give up the past. You won't listen to anyone but yourself. You won't even let Jo inside your heart, let alone me. You just want to wallow in your lonely, loveless life and keep it that way. I can't live like this. I won't live like this. I'm going home. I don't need you. I can take care of myself. I've always taken care of myself." Ali took another step back as Ben reached out to her but before he could say anything, she turned and bolted up the road to the cabin. Above them, thunder rolled across the sky.

  Chase started to move past Ben. "I'm going up to her. She needs someone," he said, glaring at Ben.

  Jo touched Chase's arm. "No. This is Ben's mess. Let him clean it up."

  Chase glanced between Ben and his mother, looking unsure.

  "I'll talk to her," Ben said, all the fight gone from him now. He looked at Jo with mournful eyes. "I'm sorry," he said softly. He turned and walked up the road with heavy steps.

  The sky was dark and raindrops started to fall as Ben walked into the garage. He started the generator, looked up toward Ali's room, then headed into the cabin. He splashed water on his face at the kitchen sink and wiped it away with a dishtowel.

  What had he done? He'd gone completely insane down there without even letting them explain. It had felt like a bad flashback, like he'd been transported back in time to when Jen had told them she was pregnant. All the anger he'd felt then had come rushing back at him before he could control it. And now he was going to lose his Ali. She was probably up there packing her things to leave at this very moment.

  Ben stood there, listening for any sounds coming from upstairs. He heard nothing. Maybe she was lying on her bed, crying. That thought tore at his heart even more.

  Another shot of thunder ripped through the sky and Ben heard rain falling lightly on the roof. This storm was going to be a doozy. Ben took a deep breath, straightened his shoulders, then headed out the door and up to Ali's room.

  He knocked softly on her door. "Ali? Can I come in?" He listened, but there wasn't a response. "Ali, please. I know you're mad at me, but can we talk?" Still, no answer.

  Worried now, Ben opened the door. There were no lights on in the room. "Ali? Are you in here?" When no answer came, Ben walked to the middle of the room and pulled the string on the light. Ben looked around. Ali wasn't here.

  Ben's eyes scanned the room. Ali's phone was on the desk. Her computer sat there, too. Her suitcase was tucked away in the back corner. All her clothes hung on the rod. Nothing had been taken, yet she wasn't here. Where was she?

  Ben ran out of the room and down the stairs. He searched the small cabin for Ali, but she wasn't downstairs either. He hurried outside and hopped into his truck as the rain pelted against him. Maybe Ali had turned around and headed back to the lodge. As he drove down there, he hoped he was right.

  Running into the kitchen, Ben found Jo and Chase busy serving supper to the guests. "Is Ali here?" he asked, trying to keep calm.

  Chase stopped filling a platter with mashed potatoes and Jo stopped in mid-step on her way out to the dining room. The both looked at Ben with wide eyes.

  "No," Jo said. "I thought she was up at the cabin with you."

  "She isn't there. It doesn't even look like she stopped there," Ben said.

  Chase moved away from the table and headed toward the door. "I'm going to look for her," he said as his hand grasped the door handle.

  "No," Ben said. "You stay here. I'll go look for her. Maybe she's on the road heading for town."

  "In this rain?" Jo asked. "It's starting to pour out there."

  Ben looked at Jo as a worried crease formed between his brows. "I don't know where else to look. If she's not here, and she's not at the cabin, where else would she be?"

  "There are two empty cabins," Chase said. "I'll go check those first." Chase grabbed a coat and ran outside into the rain.

  "What have I done?" Ben said hoarsely, looking at Jo for answers.

  Jo came over and Ben folded her into his arms. "She's going to be fine," Jo assured him. "She's a smart girl. Wherever she is, she'll find a safe place to wait out this storm."

  Ben hoped Jo was right.

  Chase came in dripping water on the kitchen rug. "She's not in either cabin. We should go check the road."

  "I'll go," Ben said. "You stay here and help your mother."

  "No." Chase held his shoulders rigid and stared directly at Ben. "I’m going with you. I have to know that Ali's all right."

  Ben narrowed his eyes at the boy, but seeing the determination in his eyes, he relented. "Okay." Ben turned to Jo. "Can you handle serving by yourself?"

  Jo nodded. "You two just go. Find Ali and bring her home safe."

  The rain beat mercilessly against the windshield of Ben's truck as he slowly drove down the muddy, gravel road toward town. Lightning lit up the sky at intervals as thunder exploded. Ben quietly prayed that Ali wasn't outside in this violent storm, but the alternative would be that some stranger may have picked her up on the road, and that thought didn't sit well with him either.

  The rain was falling so hard it was washing out sections of the gravel road, causing Ben to drive even slower. They could barely see anything because of the dense rain and the dark sky. Ali could have been standing right beside the road, and they probably wouldn't have seen her.

  "This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't flown off the handle," Chase said angrily.

  Ben looked over at Chase in surprise. Never in his life had Chase talked to him with anything but respect. "What would you have thought if you were me? Seeing you come out of that cabin, kissing, looked damned suspicious."

  Chase glared over at Ben. "If I were you, I'd have trusted Ali enough to know she wouldn't do anything wrong. Geez, Ben. The last thing Ali wants is to end up like her mother. She's already paid a high price for her mother's mistakes. She took care of her mother, not the other way around. Why do you insist on making her continue to pay for her mother's mistakes by putting them back on her?"

  The question hit Ben hard. He realized that Chase was right. He'd been transferring Jen's mistake onto Ali, when all along, she'd already been the one to suffer the consequences of those mistakes.

  "I'm not going to do anything to ruin Ali's life," Chase continued. "I care about her. I'm not some jerk like Halverson. I want Ali to be happy."

  B
en turned to Chase. "I'm sorry, Chase. Of course you'd never do anything to hurt Ali. I've known you your entire life, and I should know that better than anyone. I'm sorry."

  Chase looked straight at Ben. "I'm not the one you need to apologize to. Ali is."

  Ben nodded. He knew Chase was right.

  Once they arrived in town, they split up and checked all three bars to see if Ali was in one of them. The theater and coffeehouse were both closed, so that ruled them out. Inside The Loon's Nest, Ben asked Luke if he'd seen Ali, but he shook his head no. Ben asked the kids playing pool in the back, but they hadn't seen her either. When Ben and Chase met back inside the truck, Chase didn't have any good news to report either.

  "No one has seen her, so she can't be in town. Now what?" Chase asked.

  Reluctantly, Ben headed the truck home. "We'll call the Sheriff when we get back to the lodge. I'm hoping that by some luck, Ali's waiting for us at home."

  ***

  After yelling at her grandfather, Ali had run up the hill toward the cabin with tears streaming down her face. She ran past the cabin, not thinking about where she was headed. All she knew was she had to get far, far away from her grandfather.

  Ali couldn't believe what he had accused her of. His words had ripped her apart. 'I'll be damned if I'll be stuck with some bastard child to take care of.' It didn't matter how much she'd opened up to him, he still believed she was going to end up just like her mother.

  After a time, Ali stopped running to catch her breath. Thunder pounded across the sky and raindrops began to fall on her. Ali stood there, unsure of what she should do. She could walk into town, but that would take a long time, especially in a storm. She could go back to the lodge and stay with Jo and Chase, but then she'd eventually have to deal with her grandfather. And going back to the cabin wasn't even a choice.

  "I want to go home," Ali wailed as tears blurred her vision. Lightning lit up the darkening sky and then a crash of thunder hit right above Ali. She jumped in fright. Behind her, Ali saw the headlights of a vehicle coming down the road from the direction of the lodge. She ran off the road down a trail and hid behind a tree as the truck drove past. Through her tears she couldn't tell if it was her grandfather's truck or a stranger's.

  Ali wiped her eyes with her now soaked sweatshirt sleeve. She had to find a place to wait out the storm. She needed time to think. As she stood there, she realized she recognized the trail. It was the one that went to the old dairy farm. She'd only been on it twice, once with her grandfather and once with Chase when she picked daisies for her grandmother. But she knew where she was, and the barn at the dairy farm was her best bet to get out of this storm. With renewed energy, Ali ran down the trail as the storm rumbled on.

  ***

  Ben and Chase returned to the lodge as Jo was cleaning up after supper.

  "Did you find her?" Jo asked, hurrying over to them.

  Ben shook his head. "I was hoping she'd come back here," he said, disappointed. "We need to call the Sheriff and get some help looking for her."

  Jo sighed. "I already did. They said they couldn't risk anyone getting hurt or lost searching for Ali in this storm, but he'd come out first thing in the morning and start searching. He also said he'd drive around town and be on the lookout for her or any strange vehicles."

  "Well, I'm going out looking for her. I'm not waiting for morning," Ben said with determination.

  "Me, too," Chase said, already changing out of his soaking wet coat and putting on a dry one. "Where to first, Ben?"

  "Now wait a minute, guys," Jo said firmly. "The last thing we need is to lose you both out there, too. You have no idea where to even look for Ali, and for all we know, she could have made it to town already and is somewhere safe. As mad as she is, it's unlikely she's going to call us and tell us where she is."

  Ben sat heavily on the bench next to the table and dropped his head in his hands. Chase hovered by the door, still determined to go searching.

  "I can't just sit here while Ali's out there somewhere," Ben told Jo. "I have to find her."

  Jo came over and knelt down in front of Ben, taking his hands in hers. Ben looked at her with sad, tired eyes. "You know I'd be the first one out there helping you find her, Ben. I love her, too. But I'm not about to let you go out in this storm looking blindly for her. I can't bear to have something happen to you, too. Please." Her eyes begged him. "Please wait until first light and we'll all go searching."

  Ben saw the fear in Jo's eyes. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, too. "Okay," he told her. "Okay. I'll go up to the house and wait until light. You're right. You always are. There's no way I could track her or find her in this pouring rain."

  Jo looked relieved, but Chase protested. "We can't just wait. We have to go find Ali now."

  Ben shook his head. "No, Chase. Your mother's right. You stay here with your mother and wait until morning. We don't want you lost out there, too."

  Chase reluctantly agreed to wait.

  Ben stood and headed toward the door.

  "Ben. Promise me you'll just go home and wait," Jo pleaded.

  "I promise," he told her, then headed outside in the pouring rain and drove home.

  ***

  Ali fell twice on the muddy trail as she ran through the rain to the dairy farm. When she finally saw it in the distance, she let out a sigh of relief. The rain was pelting down on her and she was soaked to the skin. The storm had relieved the hot temperature and the air was cooler. Normally, she would have been thrilled to feel the cool air after a hot day, but right now, soaking wet, it chilled her to the bone.

  Wiping her eyes again, despite her hands and sleeves being sopping wet, she made her way to the side of the barn and entered, relieved to finally be out of the downpour outside. It was dark inside the barn, and she had to wait a moment for her eyes to adjust enough so she could see. She looked around, getting her bearings. The place smelled like manure, even though animals hadn't inhabited this barn for years. It was musty smelling, too. Ali shivered. She was suddenly aware of just how cold she felt.

  Ali's eyes adjusted enough for her to see that the layout of the barn consisted of two big sections on each side that ran the length of the barn with a narrow aisle running down the middle. The floor looked to be either mud or years of caked-on manure. Ali decided she didn't want to find out which it was. She carefully picked her way to the other side of the barn and saw some hay bales stacked up with a large pile of loose hay that was smashed down next to the bales. The smell of excrement was even stronger here.

  Ali moved on down the aisle toward the back of the barn. Outside, the rain was hitting heavily against the wood siding. Inside, it was eerily quiet. At the back of the barn was a ladder built onto the wall that led up to what Ali assumed was the loft. To her right, she saw a door that was slightly ajar. Cautiously, she pushed the door in a bit farther and saw it was a small room that probably once held supplies. She walked inside and looked around. On the wall hung an old leather horse bridle and bit. Looking further, Ali squealed with delight. There, hanging over a sawhorse, was a heavy, wool horse blanket. Gingerly, she lifted it up to make sure nothing was living inside it. When nothing fell out, she opened it up some more and shook it. Once she was sure no creepy crawlies were hanging onto it, she wrapped it around her, immediately feeling its warmth. Ali didn't care that it smelled moldy, dusty, and like a wet horse. It was warm, and that was all that mattered.

  Ali stepped out of the room and looked around. It was so dark in the barn, she couldn't see from one end to the other. Suddenly, she heard a rustling sound, like something was burrowing in the hay at the other end. Her heart skipped a beat. What if some wild animal had come in?

  Feeling panicky now, Ali looked around. She saw the ladder again. If she climbed up to the loft, would she be safe? Once again, she heard rustling. That made up her mind for her. Keeping a tight grasp on the blanket, Ali pulled herself up the ladder and through the hole that led to the loft.

  Once up there,
Ali looked around. There were more hay bales up here, stacked on one side of the floor. Across the barn at the other end was a large opening. Wind was coming in through it, and Ali couldn't see if there was a door to close it off. She wasn't about to go near it. If she fell out that door, it was a long way down to the ground.

  Below her on the first floor came a snorting sound. Ali frowned. "It sounds like pigs," she whispered to herself. But then she heard a sound that made her blood run cold. It was the deep, bellowing sound that the mother bear had made the day she and her grandfather had walked here. Ali froze. Hadn't they seen the baby bears coming out from around the barn that day? Maybe they were the ones that had smashed down the hay. Maybe that was where they slept.

  Ali pulled the blanket tightly around her, wondering what she should do. There was no way she was going down to investigate. But what if the mama bear smelled her scent? Didn't her grandfather say bears could climb? Could a bear climb up a ladder?

  Slowly, Ali moved over toward where she'd come through the floor. She saw a trap door lying beside the hole. Holding her breath, she quietly lifted the wooden door on hinges and set it down to close off the hole. There was no lock or latch, but it made her feel safer.

  Ali went back over to the hay bales and sat down against them on the side away from the open door at the end of the loft so she didn't feel the wind. She pulled the blanket tightly around her for warmth. Below, she heard rustling, but no more bellowing. She sat there, shivering under the blanket, angry with herself for running off in the storm, angry with her grandfather for saying those awful words, and most of all, angry with her mother for dying and leaving her in this terrible mess.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Ben did as he promised Jo and drove back to the cabin. The generator was still running, so he took off his soaking wet clothes and took a hot shower, then dressed again in dry clothes. There'd be no sleeping tonight. His every moment was going to be spent worrying about where Ali was and if she was okay. He left lights on all over the cabin so it would glow as if it were a beacon in the night. If Ali was out there somewhere, he wanted her to be able to see the cabin to find her way home.