Katrina's Sight

by Marie Higgins

  Katrina arched an eyebrow. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? “If you’re trying to shock me by telling me that my mother has made quite a few men fall in love with her—”

  “No, that’s not what I’m telling you, Katrina. To be blunt, your mother was a harlot. She sold her favors to men. That was how she earned extra money.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “My mother wouldn’t need extra money if she was your aunt’s maid.”

  “Katrina, your mother is the kind of woman who always needs more money. My aunt paid Lucy well, but that wasn’t enough for her. She always wanted more, which was why she sought out men for one reason only.”

  Katrina’s stomach twisted and the urge to deny his accusations slammed in her head, but for some reason it wouldn’t come forth on her tongue. Images of past years flashed through her head. She’d been young and hadn’t gone to sleep as her mother had instructed her to do. Katrina had noticed her mother go to the door and let a strange man into the house. Within minutes, she took his hand and led them to the back room.

  Another memory came forth from the dark recesses of her mind. She was older, and had secretly watched her mother leave the house when she thought Katrina was asleep. A man waited outside for her mother, and grabbed her in an improper embrace, kissing her like he’d known her for years.

  Suddenly, more and more memories flashed through Katrina’s mind. She wanted to squeeze her eyes closed and cover her ears. She wanted to run back to her bedroom, curl up on her bed, and cry her eyes out. Indeed, her mother had been a strumpet. Katrina understood her mother had done these things to put food on the table, but this kind of disgraceful behavior would definitely keep her from marrying a respectable man. Katrina would never be worthy of a respectable man with such deceit in her past.

  A small pain pounded in her head and she rubbed her temple. Tears stung her eyes no matter how hard she tried to keep them away.

  “Is that why you left her?” Katrina’s voice squeaked so she quickly cleared her throat.

  “Yes.” He took a deep, slow breath. “I wasn’t even certain that she carried my baby.”

  Katrina nodded. “That explains why you never sent her money.”

  “After a few years had passed, I was burdened with guilt. I wanted to know if you were my child or not. By this time in my life, I was making money in the trading business and had hopes of purchasing a plantation. I hired an investigator to find you and your mother. He reported Lucy worked in a tavern with her young daughter.”

  She swallowed hard. “Yes, from as far back as I can remember, I helped the owners of the tavern in the kitchen. It wasn’t until I was older that they allowed me to work outside the kitchen.” More memories flashed through her head. Her childhood wasn’t so terrible because the wife of the tavern owner had treated Katrina like her own daughter. Yet when she started working in the tavern, the patrons looked upon her as used goods. Now she knew why. They thought she’d be like her mother.

  Another sickening wave passed through her stomach, and she clenched her teeth to keep from vomiting.

  “I was kept informed on your progress as you grew older,” he continued. “I still wasn’t certain that you were my daughter, though. One day I was in London on business, and decided to drop by the tavern and see you for myself. I wore a disguise because I knew Lucy would recognize me if I didn’t. When I saw you, I couldn’t believe my eyes. You resembled my sister so much, I felt as if I was a young man again teasing my sister like I used to do. That’s when I knew I was indeed, your father.”

  “How many years ago was that?”

  “Five.”

  She arched an eyebrow. “Really? Why didn’t you make contact with me, then?”

  He drummed his fingers on the armrest. “Actually, I did. I sent a letter to your mother. When she responded, she told me to leave well enough alone—that the two of you were getting along just fine.” He shook his head. “I knew differently, of course.”

  Katrina released a gasp. “You’ve got to be jesting. Why would she turn you away when she was so desperate for money?”

  “Your mother would never allow me to talk to you. She would not allow me to even introduce myself.”

  “Why do you think she acted in such a way?” Deep down, Katrina figured she already knew the answer, but it still made her stomach twist in disgust.

  “Because I knew things about Lucy that she didn’t want you to know.”

  Exactly! Little by little, her heart began to break. Her mother knew five years ago that Henry Landon would send them money? Yet, she turned it away?

  Tears burned in Katrina’s eyes, so she quickly tried to blink them away. She didn’t need to show emotion at a time like this. She didn’t want her father to think he had won. “Tell me, Henry, how were you able to get a letter to us this time?”

  His wrinkled mouth turned up into a smile. “I finally decided to address the letter to you, and not your mother.”

  She fisted her hands in her lap. “Nothing makes sense. When I received that letter and showed it to my mother, she told me it was high time you contacted me. She convinced me that we needed to take your money and travel to Macapá to collect more funds that were mine because I was your daughter.” She heaved a deep breath. “If my mother didn’t want me meeting you because you might have information about her, why did she decide we needed to do as your letter suggested?”

  “I can only assume it was because she didn’t want you to find out that I had tried to contact you before. She wanted to continue to make me look like the terrible parent who neglected their only child.”

  Another gasp sprang from her throat and she rose to her feet. “But you were! You were the one who didn’t stay married to her just because you thought I could have been someone else’s child. You were the one who didn’t try harder to support your child who starved many nights because my mother was too poor to buy us food. It was because of you that my mother made me steal food in the marketplace on many occasions. Forgive me, but in my mind, that does in fact make you the neglectful parent.”

  Silence stretched in the room for a few awkward moments before he hung his head. As she tried to calm her temper—and her racing heart—she studied him as closely as she could through the shadows, and she noticed that his throat jumped.

  “Yes, you are right,” he said low. “I have made many mistakes in my life, and I have regretted every one of them.” Slowly, his gaze lifted to hers. “And that is why I wish to make amends. I wish to show you that I do care about you. And I wish to show you that although you believe your mother to be the saint in this situation, she is indeed just opposite.”

  “Why?” Katrina fisted her hands by her side. “Because she did all she could to make sure there was food on the table and a roof over her daughter’s head, even if it meant doing something immoral?”

  “No, it’s because she hasn’t changed at all, Katrina. She was a harlot when I married her, just like she’s one now.”

  “You don’t know that.” Anger pulsed through her, making her headache pound harder.

  “Oh, I think I do.” He leaned closer, his hands grasping the edge of the armrests. “The time I’d sent my solicitor to your home to have him take you shopping for clothes, he told your mother that the money was for you and you alone. Would you like to know what your mother did when she heard that?”

  Katrina really didn’t want to hear, but for some reason, she couldn’t form the words on her tongue to stop him.

  “She made him a proposition. She told him that the only way my man could take you shopping was if she received a few gowns as well. She told him that she’d reward him for his kindness.”

  “How do you know all of this?” she asked in a small voice, her chest aching from the crushing blows of knowing that her mother was so calculating.

  “My solicitor sent me a telegram.”

  Confusion filled Katrina. “Why wouldn’t you just give my mother some of that money? Don’t you think she deserved even
a little?”

  “The money I sent was for my daughter, and her alone. Because your mother had turned me away from seeing my daughter all those years, I didn’t want her getting anything from me, but the only way she would allow you have it was if she got some herself.”

  Tears spiked Katrina’s eyes again, but this time she didn’t try to blink them gone. “Then I must apologize for my mother’s behavior.” Her voice cracked.

  “Do not apologize for that woman. She is not your responsibility.”

  “Actually, she is. After all, she is the only parent who saw the need to take care of me.”

  “And for that, I’m truly sorry.”

  “My mother may have not been the most exemplary parent, but I believe she raised me the best that she could under the circumstances.”

  Henry leaned back in his chair and took another deep breath. “You have such a kind heart.”

  “Thank you. At this moment, I’m not exactly certain which parent I get that from, since neither of you have shown much kindness to each other over the years.”

  He smiled again. “You are correct. I haven’t been an attentive father, which is why I brought you here. I want to make up for my mistakes.”

  “Is it because you’re dying?” Perhaps she shouldn’t have added that, but sometimes words just slipped through her mouth and she couldn’t stop them.

  “Yes. Can you blame an old man for wanting to meet his only daughter before meeting his maker?”

  She folded her arms and cocked her head. “Am I your only daughter? I heard you had remarried not long after divorcing Mother. Did you not have more children?”

  Sadness filled his expression, bringing more wrinkles to his face. “The woman I married could not give me more children. She has a son from her first marriage, but he is not my blood. I didn’t want to leave everything I have to someone that is not my blood relation.”

  “Are you saying,” she asked hesitantly, “that you are leaving me everything?”

  He tapped his finger on his chin. “Do you want me to?”

  A laugh bubbled up in her throat from the hilarity of his question. She walked to the window but didn’t pull back the curtains. Instead, she turned and leaned her back against the wall, staring at the floor. Without wanting it to happen, ideas popped into her head of how different her life would be to have lots of money. “What would I possibly do with a plantation? I don’t even know how to run it.”

  “True, but what about your Mr. Knightly? He would know how to run this place.”

  She snapped her head up and looked at him with wide eyes. Her heartbeat knocked quickly against her chest. “What about Mr. Knightly? What do you know about him?”

  “I hired him to be your guide for a reason. He is a good man. I wanted him to fall in love with my daughter, and with him as your guide, I’m sure I had accomplished that.”

  “What makes you so certain he has fallen in love with me?”

  “His men have talked to me, already.”

  Embarrassment warmed her cheeks. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

  “Yes, it does.” A grin stretched across Henry’s mouth. “I trust Knightly to know how to run my plantation. He is the perfect man for the job.”

  “I don’t understand.” She moved away from the wall and slowly walked to Henry. “You want to give the plantation to Felix? I thought you just said you wanted everything to go to blood kin.”

  He chuckled weakly. “Yes, but if Mr. Knightly married my daughter...”

  Another laugh sprang from her chest, this one coming out in a loud bark. “Don’t be ridiculous. Why would he marry a woman like me? Did you know he’s an earl?”

  “An earl you say?” He tapped his finger on his chin again. “Very interesting.”

  She flipped her hand in the air. “Regardless, we are from two different worlds. Why would a man like Felix want to marry a lowly woman like me?”

  “Tell me, Katrina. Do you love him?”

  She held her breath. With all my heart. “Yes.”

  “Do you think he loves you?”

  She couldn’t stop the tears from blurring her vision again. He’d already told her that he loved her, although he didn’t know she’d heard. “Yes.”

  “Then obviously, he doesn’t care about the way you were brought up. He loves you for yourself.”

  She wanted to cry with happiness but held strong instead. Did Felix really love her for herself? She’d never met a man who could. She took a deep breath and slowly released it. “He is returning to England to take his title and live as an earl.”

  “Then stop him.”

  “It doesn’t work that way.” She rolled her eyes. “Henry, you are living in a dream world if you think Felix is going to choose me over his title and lands.”

  “Why don’t you ask him?”

  Her breath caught in her throat. Dare she dream? Dare she believe in happy endings? For so long she’d convinced herself there was no such thing. Now there just might be a chance for her to be completely happy.

  She blinked the tears away. “Let me think on this later tonight. I can’t think now. I didn’t eat the food Mrs. Cooney brought up for me, and I think that’s why my head hurts.”

  “Have Mrs. Cooney make you something quickly. In fact, tell her I want you to meet my stepson, Robert. I think the two of you should finally get to know each other.”

  She nodded. “Do I get to meet your wife, as well?”

  “No. She died a year ago.” Sadness covered his face.

  “I’m sorry for your loss.” She took a deep breath before saying, “I’ll go find Mrs. Cooney now.” She turned and walked to the door. Resting her hand on the knob, she paused, feeling the need to say something else. She looked over her shoulder at the sickly older man who was still watching her. “I thank you for letting us use your physician to help Mr. Knightly.”

  “Felix is a good man.”

  “Yes, he is.” She nodded as her voice choked. “And thank you for thinking of me all these years. I really thought you didn’t care.”

  “That’s because your mother wanted you to think that way, but I have saved every letter she returned. If ever you want to read them, let me know.”

  Emotion tugged on her heartstrings again, and she took another calming breath. “Not at this time.”

  Just as she opened the door, her mind jumped to the forewarning she saw about a house being on fire. As she tried to study the burning structure, she could see that it was indeed, this house. “One more thing before I go.” She looked at him over her shoulder. “I have premonitions, and a fire will break out in your house. I don’t know when, and I don’t know who will start it. But please be cautioned and take necessary steps to see it doesn’t happen.”

  He sat up straighter and his eyes widened. “You can see forewarnings?”

  “Yes.”

  Chuckling softly, he shook his head. “My sister had that gift, as well.”

  Surprise washed over her. For many years she’d wondered how she was able to obtain such a gift. Comfort spread through her knowing that it was hereditary. “I thank you for telling me that.”

  He nodded. “And I will take precautions as you have suggested.”

  She hurried into the hall before changing her mind. She really needed some food to stop this headache. Besides, she’d had enough upsetting surprises being thrown at her already today. She didn’t need more.

  Katrina couldn’t find Mrs. Cooney, so she wandered to the main level of the house until she found the large dining room. A few of the kitchen staff were mulling about and when they saw her, they stopped. Their eyes grew wide.

  “Good day,” she said politely. “Could I trouble one of you for something to eat?”

  “Yes, Miss.” The two younger women bobbed and hurried in through the side door.

  Katrina sat at the long table and waited. She tried to take in the beauty of the expensive furniture and paintings, but her mind wouldn’t rest long enough to let her do this. Instead, sh
e kept thinking about what her father had said about her mother. He was telling the truth, and shame clawed its way through her, quickly shredding her dignity.

  This was just too much to think about right now. Tomorrow was soon enough to think about her mother. For now, Katrina would think about what her father had said about Felix. It comforted her to know that her father approved of Felix.

  She knew he loved her because he’d told her a couple of times already, but did he love her enough to want to marry her and stay here to run the plantation? She still didn’t know if she could handle such a responsibility out here in the wild jungle. However, with Felix by her side as her husband, she could accomplish anything.

  Her heart softened and slowly her headache began to disappear. Perhaps she’d mention it to him tonight when she went to check on his progress. She’d see what his thoughts were and if she felt that he would indeed stay here with her—as her husband—then she would ask that very important question.

  Quite bold of her to ask a man to marry her, and she didn’t know if she was that daring yet. Maybe she’d have Henry talk to Felix first.

  The side door swung open and one of the servants carried in a tray of food. Katrina’s stomach grumbled loudly, and she placed her hand on her stomach. The juices in her mouth started flowing, and she didn’t know what to eat first.

  “Thank you,” she told the servant who bobbed again and then left. Hungrily, Katrina began eating the fish. Her only meal since leaving Macapá had been nuts and berries. She was dying for some actual meat.

  On the hard wooden floor behind her, heavy footsteps came her way. She turned her head to see who had entered the dining room. A tall man with wide shoulders walked toward her. His hair was black, and his glare was almost as dark. His skin tone wasn’t as olive-colored as the Portuguese servants who worked here, but she could tell he had a little of that nationality in him. He dressed in expensive clothes that were probably tailored to fit his frame. In between his finger and thumb, he held a cheroot that was still smoking.

  She had seen him before, but where? In a flash, she remembered. He had been the man coming out of Mr. Jamison’s office when she and her mother were waiting to see the attorney. This was the man who had turned up his nose at her before leaving the office.