“Damn near impossible,” Shade interjected flatly, sitting back in his chair. “That sort of thing is horrid because you might be making the situation worse even as you think you’re fixing it. I’ve heard of magi losing their minds trying to do that, though I’ve also heard psychics have an easier time rejecting external influences.”
“Exactly,” Morgan agreed, giving him a slight, strained smile. “We cut off the links that she planted, so Shadowmind shouldn’t be able to get into our heads again, but when we can’t even tell what damage was done, what ideas were ours or her machinations… it’s overwhelming. Fortunately, my predecessor has agreed to help us, even if she doesn’t know the details yet, but it means going away. And with trying to fix something like this, most of the recommendations I’ve seen say to avoid anything which reinforces the changes. That’s the main reason we’re leaving, and not taking Lilith with us.”
She could have heard a pin drop after she finished her explanation, and Morgan looked down, studying the table. She wasn’t telling them everything, of course, but some things were too personal to share with strangers like this. Especially when Lilith herself didn’t know.
“Well, that’d be enough to drive me to drinking, if I were the sort to drink.” Decarin said at last, any happiness in his voice long-since fled.
“I don’t blame you,” Morgan replied, shaking her head. “I… do drink, on occasion, but I think I’m going to be avoiding it for a while. I don’t want to think of how it could make this all worse.”
“The question then becomes, why are you asking us to watch Lilith? Do you think she’s involved in this?” Shade asked, and when Morgan looked up quickly, she saw that he looked concerned, to say the least. Maybe suspicious would be a better term.
“Involved? Oh, no, no! You misunderstand me,” Morgan said hastily, shaking her head. “No, the problem is that we’re afraid of how she’ll react to being left alone! We had to do it once before, during the incident with Blue Impulse, and Lilith had… difficulties with it. She doesn’t deal well with being left alone now that she’s used to being out in the world, and… well, she doesn’t really have any friends other than us. She hasn’t had time to make friends, and with how she got hunted after Ocean Shield unmasked her, there hasn’t been much of an opportunity to.”
Shade blinked at her response, opening his mouth, then shut it as he looked at Morgan with a hint of bewilderment. Then he nodded slowly, while Archon spoke.
“Ah. That makes more sense, yes,” the woman said, taking a sip from her mug as she considered, then looked at the others. “Personally, I have no issue with keeping an eye on Lilith. She’s helped us without question, and considering everything else we’ve seen from her, I’d like to give her the benefit of the doubt.”
“Damned right!” Spark said angrily, the words almost bursting out of her at last. “Better that than abandoning her when you know she’ll be in trouble! What does she think of all of this, anyway?”
“I’m… afraid we haven’t had a chance to discuss it yet. That conversation is planned for this afternoon.” Morgan hedged, looking away again.
“Wait just a second!” Decarin interjected incredulously. “Are you saying that you talked to us before you discussed this with her?”
“Ah… yes, but just because we wanted to make sure that things were arranged before breaking the news to her,” Morgan replied, though a feeling of dread washed over her at the way they looked at her.
Anger loomed on Spark’s face, and the younger woman looked like she was biting her tongue. Decarin just looked at her in shock, Archon examined Morgan disapprovingly, and Shade reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose for a moment.
“Morgan, I don’t know what’s happened to you, but would you please stop and think for a few seconds?” Shade asked, his voice so even that Morgan knew it had to be forced. “In the time I’ve known you, you’ve been incredibly protective and considerate of Lilith. And now, you’ve informed people who may as well be complete strangers comparatively that you’re leaving before you told her. If you hadn’t mentioned Shadowmind… no, even with that, I’m having trouble believing my ears.”
“Lilith isn’t a pet which you need to be sure has a good supply of food and people to come by to check on them when you leave,” Spark spat, her tone so scathing that Morgan flinched.
“I… of course she isn’t, it’s just…” Morgan began, her voice trembling, her emotions teetering precariously as she considered what Shade had said… and part of her simply crumbled. “I know! And I just can’t… can’t help it! Whatever was done to me, and Gina… if we aren’t actively thinking about it, now we just neglect her! It’s not anything on purpose, it just… I don’t know what’s real or not, anymore! Did Shadowmind plant the feelings in our heads? Did she just take them away? Did she do both? Is anything I’ve done over the last year and a half my own idea, or is it hers? I don’t know, and I… I can’t trust even myself!”
And with that, Morgan burst into tears in front of the shocked heroes and heroines.
Chapter 2
Monday, August 18th, 2031
Clarkson Mall, Paragon City
“This might not have been the best idea I had,” Lilith said, catching her breath as the crowds ebbed for a moment, thankful that the mall security had seen them getting all but mobbed and had decided to come help.
Her previous visits to the mall had made her think she’d known what to expect, but that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Normally the crowds watched her, yes, but Lilith had known that was due to her power. They also kept their distance for the most part, which she suspected was due to Amber’s part in her creation. Lilith hadn’t expected this visit to be any different, especially after the events in Las Vegas. She’d been completely, totally wrong.
Apparently, the incident had been all over the news, accompanied by footage of the events in the other dimension once they’d returned. Lilith hadn’t realized that there were news crews on site, but they’d caught Lilith and the others going out into the mist, as well as the brilliant beam splitting the sky as the cannon shot down the satellite moments before they returned to Earth. She had to assume that was why the crowds had practically mobbed them, asking about what it was like, complimenting them, and asking for autographs or more.
“You think? I thought I was going to have to put up a shield bubble for a bit, there,” Gina replied dryly, shaking her head in disbelief. “I knew we were going to get more attention than you thought we were, but this? This is nuts.”
“Agreed,” Lilith said, though she couldn’t help feeling slightly strained and nervous. Rachel hadn’t told her that she was going to visit the Sentinels, but Lilith had overheard just enough of Gina and Rachel’s conversation to get a foreboding feeling. Coupled with the meeting they’d arranged for the evening, and how she was expecting to have a meeting with Amber on Wednesday… well, it just made Lilith antsy. She supposed that was part of why she’d decided to go out so quickly. The idea of getting a game console so she didn’t lose all the time when gaming improved her mood, if only slightly.
“Regardless, I think we’ve bought you enough breathing room that you should be able to finish your shopping,” Jenny said, and Lilith looked at the security officer in appreciation. The blond had on a sleek uniform that looked like it was made of some sort of modern bulletproof cloth, and while the uniform looked similar to that of a police officer, it was different enough that Lilith wouldn’t mistake her for police with a solid look. That was likely on purpose, but the woman had been the one to usher them aside, which Lilith was happy about. “Hopefully the crowd will disperse reasonably, but I suspect you’re going to get a lot of attention while you’re here. You did some amazing work down in Vegas, after all. I have a cousin who was at the convention, and she’s been posting about it constantly since Saturday night.”
“Oh, that… would do it,” Gina said, realization dawning in her voice. “I knew it’d be big news, but there were tens of thous
ands of people in the convention center. If even half of them have been talking about what happened… this is a huge event. I think it might’ve been bigger than any of the incidents I was involved in before.”
“Ah, I suppose that would explain a little of this. I didn’t expect to get attention like this. Even after I helped with the attack on Hill, or when I bought the land, I didn’t get that much attention,” Lilith said, considering for a few seconds herself, then shook her head, smiling wryly as amusement washed through her. She wasn’t fond of this much attention, she decided. “I suppose this is what Circe meant when she told me to be careful when going out. Thank you for all your help, Officer Webb. This has certainly been a more educational trip than I expected.”
“It’s no problem at all, I’m just doing my job,” the woman said, smiling in return as she added. “Besides, even if I think Erika gets overly enthusiastic sometimes, I’m glad you rescued her, which is another reason for me? Anyway, I was told to escort you two while you shop, which will hopefully help you fend off the worst of the crowds.”
Gina perked up at that, brushing back her blonde hair as she smiled. Comparing her blue-tinged skin and lips to Jenny’s normal ones was interesting, Lilith thought. She just wished that things weren’t so uncertain at the moment. The two didn’t look that much alike, though, even if they shared both hair and eye colors, Lilith decided, as Gina was probably prettier on the whole.
“That’ll be wonderful!” Gina said, grinning broadly at the woman. “We’re just here to look at gaming consoles, if you know where to get them? I’m not sure exactly what sort, I’m afraid, but Lilith wanted to try something that wasn’t luck based.”
“Dice hate me, but I learned that games based on skill aren’t as bad,” Lilith corrected her. “The random item generators still hate me, but at least I can make up for it in other parts of the game. I’d like to have a chance at winning, from time to time.”
Jenny’s eyebrows rose as Gina shrugged, grinning at her. Gina spoke after a moment. “She’s not wrong, where her luck is concerned. I swear, I’ve never seen someone with such abysmal luck where games are concerned.”
“If you say so. Well, as it happens, I know a couple of stores that carry a variety of consoles and games. If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you the way,” Jenny said, then paused, looking at the crowd gathering on the other side of the line of benches and potted plants, then grimaced. “I suppose it’s time to run the gauntlet. Try to stay close, please.”
“I’ll do my best,” Lilith assured her, straightening and trying to catch her breath. If it weren’t for her undersuit and the shield generator, she’d be more nervous, but even with them she couldn’t help a trace of anxiety.
When she’d walked into the basement of Eden Manor that morning alone, before the lights had come on, she’d had a brief, unpleasant flashback to when she’d been attacked. The suit hadn’t stopped Stalker Seven from nearly killing her, and chances were that if she hadn’t ended up in Sekhet-Aaru, she’d have died there. That hadn’t really hit her until she’d been home… and if she were being honest, the entire experience still felt surreal to Lilith. The world was the same as it had been, yet her entire perception of it had shifted. Stalker Seven wasn’t the only person to have tried to kill her, but at least Sky Defender hadn’t been so coldly impersonal about it.
She shook off her distraction as Jenny started out of the alcove where they’d taken shelter. Lilith followed with a carefully even stride, reminding herself of the lessons she’d taken with Circe so long ago. Never show weakness in public, no matter how much you were hurting, or someone would sense it and rip you apart. It hadn’t come up before, not really, but now the lesson was comforting.
Cameras and phones flashed as they emerged once more, the lights causing Lilith’s vision to flicker as her engineered flash protection tried to keep up with the rapid-fire blasts of light. It did a pretty good job, and Lilith kept her gaze fixed on Jenny’s back, somewhat comforted by Gina’s presence behind her. At least with her there, no one was going to sneak up on her.
Several reporters were in the front of the group, and Lilith winced as they began clamoring, each trying to make themselves heard over the others.
“Ms. Lilith, do you have a statement about the poor security of—”
“Do you think that Destruction Corps is going to target you due to your involvement in stopping their plot?”
“The Paragon City Examiner would like to arrange an interview with you—”
“Lilith, I love you!”
The last comment almost broke Lilith’s poise, as the large man who’d bellowed it startled her, but she managed to keep from staring at him. She’d thought her lack of interest in men was public at this point… but perhaps she hadn’t been clear about it? Or maybe it didn’t matter… she wasn’t sure which. More comments continued to emerge from the crowd, but Lilith ignored them as best she could. Instead, she formulated a quick statement internally, then spoke to the reporters as she followed the path Jenny was forging through the crowds, accompanied by several more security officers.
“If you have questions, please speak to the media department of the Paragon City branch of SuperNet. They’ve agreed to manage any meetings regarding the incident in Las Vegas,” Lilith replied, pitching her voice such that it carried a little better in the chaos. “Today, I’m here to buy a few things, so I will not be answering any questions or giving autographs. Now, if you’d please, I’d like to finish my shopping.”
Lilith’s brief hope that her request might convince the crowd to back off was dashed as it seemed like everyone who heard her, and most of those who hadn’t, just redoubled their efforts to be heard.
Lilith sighed internally and hoped that it wouldn’t be too hard to get the things she’d come for.
Chapter 3
Monday, August 18th, 2031
Eden Manor, Glendale
“Welcome back, Mistress Lilith,” Circe said calmly as Lilith set down her bags with a heavy sigh. “Did you enjoy your shopping trip?”
“It was insane, and I wish you’d warned me that I’d be walking into it. It was worse than a battlefield,” Lilith replied, shaking her head in disbelief. “I also had no idea how many gaming consoles there are. Or games, for that matter.”
“I offered to give you a tutorial on computer games during your acclimation period, Mistress Lilith. You chose to bypass it in favor of finishing the training program as quickly as possible,” Circe replied, a hint of amusement in her voice.
“Really? The training programs had gaming as part of them?” Gina asked, her eyebrows rising as she looked at Lilith.
Lilith shrugged, a little embarrassed. “I don’t recall? I mean… there were a lot of options. Most of the training programs were designed to last one to two years.”
“Yes, there were. The longer the training program, the more balanced of an education Lilith was intended to receive. The shorter it was, the more focused it had to be,” Circe confirmed, her amusement seeming to fade. “To finish her training in the amount of time she decided on, Lilith focused on almost entirely practical skill sets. Engineering, Advanced Mathmatics, Social Skills, and Physical Education pushed aside almost all other subjects. While Mistress Amber embedded basic knowledge of countries, language, chemistry, basic math, and similar subjects into her mind to ensure she could develop quickly, it is not enough to allow her to display a true breadth of experiences.”
Lilith couldn’t help a blush as Gina looked at her in surprise, shrugging as she spoke sheepishly. “I… didn’t consider that. Circe wasn’t sentient at the time, so she didn’t explain the downsides. I wanted to get out into the world as fast as possible, so I was pushing my limits.”
“Hm… while understandable, it does explain a few wide gaps in your education. And why you bought so many games,” Gina said, looking at the bags skeptically. “I know you can afford it, but I think the cashier nearly choked when he saw the total.”
“I wanted to t
ry a wide variety of games. I only tried one when I was with Ra, after all,” Lilith replied, feeling even more embarrassed at this point, and she cleared her throat as she looked around the kitchen, slipping off her shoes as she did so.
Everything was pristine, despite having fixed breakfast that morning. That was probably due to Circe’s robots, but even the chairs were perfectly placed around the table, and the counters positively gleamed, they were so clean.
“Is Rachel back yet?” Gina asked after a few seconds, her tone casual, though Lilith caught the edge of nervousness in her voice.
“She is. She returned approximately half an hour ago,” Circe confirmed.
“Great! I’ll go see her… it’s about time for our discussion, after all,” Gina said, her voice bright, yet with that same edge to it.
“It is. I’ll go ahead and start unpacking, then,” Lilith said, giving Gina a hopeful smile, though she wasn’t surprised that Gina’s smile wasn’t quite as real as it should be.
Lilith picked up the bags, watching Gina go, then let out a sigh once she was out of sight.
“I feel obligated to inform you that the conversation is going to hurt you,” Circe said, concern filling her voice as she spoke, the audio carefully pitched to only reach Lilith. “Your wellbeing is far more important to me than their privacy, so I could explain what they’re going to say beforehand if you would like.”
“No,” Lilith replied shortly, shaking her head as she moved into the living room. Fear tickled at the back of her mind, along with anxiety and depression, but she refused to let it color her voice as she spoke. “I can guess what’s coming, even if they haven’t said anything yet. The last time we shared a room at night was before leaving for Vegas, and they’ve… changed, somehow. Between what they said in the other world and Amber wanting to meet with me… well, it’s probably her fault. Isn’t it?”
Queen's Journey (Lilith's Shadow Book 5) Page 2
