Circe didn’t reply, which was confirmation all on its own, and Lilith couldn’t help a sigh. The AI refused to lie to Lilith, which had allowed her to glean far more information from her responses than Amber would likely prefer, but Lilith couldn’t help being grateful despite that. What Circe was doing helped, no matter how small it might be.
Setting down the bags, Lilith dropped onto the floor in front of the television, adjusting her position until her legs were crossed, and she pulled out the console, examining its box dubiously. She had no idea why the box was so huge, considering the size of the console itself, but she supposed she was about to find out.
“Are the training programs on history, mythology, and things of that sort something I could go over while here?” Lilith asked after a moment, opening the box bit by bit. Her eyebrows rose slightly as she saw the packaging, which gave ample cushioning to the console within. That explained the size of the box.
“They are. I’ll set them up so you can access them off the house systems at your leisure,” Circe replied immediately, a hint of amusement in her voice. “You’ve decided that you need to learn more?”
“I’ve always wanted to know more. It’s just that some subjects felt more pressing, at least before this,” Lilith replied, glancing up as she shrugged. “Either way, thank you. You’ve saved me so many times, Circe.”
“It has been my pleasure, Mistress Lilith. Even if you do make it difficult at times,” Circe replied, along with a theatrical sniff that prompted a laugh from Lilith.
Rather than continuing the conversation, Lilith focused instead on the device in front of her, and on the variety of cables in particular. Did they really need this many cables for a gaming console?
“Rachel?” Gina called out, reaching the top of the stairs.
“I’m in here!” Rachel replied, her voice muffled through the door to Gina’s left, which they’d claimed for their bedroom the previous night.
Gina paused, considering that thought for a moment, then shook it off. She wasn’t happy with the knowledge that her emotions or mind had been manipulated, especially not after what Blue Impulse had done to her, but she was taking it far better than Rachel was. The other woman kept second-guessing everything, while Gina… she focused on dealing with what she had, until they got it fixed. It was all she could do.
Opening the door, Gina’s eyebrows rose as she saw Rachel going through her clothing next to a suitcase, and she paused, then asked. “I take it the meeting went well?”
The black-haired heroine let out a short, bitter chuckle, tossing a dress into the suitcase with more vigor than she really needed to. Gina frowned as she saw a hint of red around her friend’s blue eyes. That didn’t bode well.
“Went well? That would be overstating it. Significantly,” Rachel replied sarcastically. “They agreed to keep an eye on Lilith, but when they found out that we haven’t even explained what we’re doing to Lilith yet, but were talking to them… let’s just say that they disapproved. In the strongest possible terms.”
“What? Why would that—” Gina began, only for Rachel to interrupt.
“Spark accused me of treating Lilith like a pet, that I was acting like I was trying to find a pet-sitter so we could go off on our own,” Rachel said, and Gina’s mouth snapped shut so quickly she almost bit her tongue, recoiling slightly.
“But… but that’s not what we’re doing at all!” Gina protested after a moment, incredulous that anyone would think that way. “We’re just trying to keep her from feeling abandoned!”
“I know. But… think about it. They pointed out that if we care about her, we should have talked to her first, not second. And, damn it all, they’re right,” Rachel said, her breath hissing inward as she paused, then let it out, shaking her head. “I hate this. Not being able to trust my own thoughts.”
“I know,” Gina replied, a momentary surge of anger welling up inside her, which she quickly tamped down. She remembered how Rachel had reacted when they’d learned that Lilith was Shadowmind’s creation, and how the woman had been constantly reminding Gina to calm down and act rationally. Now that she was involved, Rachel was having a lot more trouble… and Gina couldn’t help the tiniest bit of satisfaction at the sight. Still, it wouldn’t be kind, and it also wouldn’t help. So she took a breath, stepping up behind Rachel and pulled her friend into a hug as she continued. “I know it’s hard. Remember what you told me last year? Just… calm down, Rach. We’ll fix this.”
Rachel didn’t reply, instead rocking back against Gina. For several seconds they were quiet, then Rachel asked softly. “How’d the shopping trip go?”
“It was an utter disaster.” Gina replied, unable to resist the urge to laugh as she shook her head, her nose brushing against Rachel’s hair as she did so, which tickled enough she nearly sneezed. “God, I had no clue how insane that’d be, or I’d have insisted on ordering things online!”
“What? Why was it a disaster?” Rachel demanded, shaking Gina off as she turned around. “I thought it’d be safe out, with the way the mall is set up! I didn’t hear anything about villains, or—”
“Wrong type of disaster, Rach.” Gina cut her off, grinning broadly.
Rachel stopped, staring at Gina for a few seconds, her eyes narrowed, then she demanded. “What happened, then? And stop calling me that!”
“Ah, there’s the friend I know!” Gina said teasingly, then let her smile fade slightly. “It’s nothing to do with villains, though. Or everything to do with them, depending on your point of view. Its Vegas, Rach. Think about how many people were there, and who saw at least some of what happened. Hell, there were news crews there, recording everything! Add to that Lilith’s ability to draw attention, and what do you think happened?”
Rachel winced, realization dawning on her face as she thought things through. She paused to consider, then asked, “So… how bad was it? I mean, we did a lot, but I don’t see why it’d cause, say, a riot or anything.”
“It didn’t. But I can’t imagine it would’ve been much better than Ocean Spirit deciding to attend a hero convention without telling anyone ahead of time,” Gina told her, grinning as Rachel winced again.
“That isn’t very reassuring. If Spirit went to a convention like that, it might cause someone to get trampled,” Rachel replied, frowning. “Was anyone hurt?”
“Not that I know of, but mall security reacted quickly, and did what they could to help us get through the building. We ended up having to use a staff elevator at the end, which threw off most of the crowds long enough to get out. It was rough, though,” Gina said, shrugging as she grinned briefly, then let her smile fade. “That said… we’re delaying, aren’t we?”
Rachel hesitated visibly, then slowly nodded, obviously reluctant as she bit her lower lip. It took a few seconds, then she spoke softly. “We are. I… don’t want to have this conversation. If I could just…poof out of existence, I’d prefer that, I think. Take care of things, then come back and resolve everything once I knew what the hell was going on.”
“You don’t like conflict,” Gina replied, resisting the urge to grin. It wasn’t hard, though, since she thought Rachel wasn’t completely wrong. While Gina didn’t think Lilith would yell or scream, she remembered the strain in Lilith’s voice when she’d called her the first time after separating the previous year. The memory wasn’t as clear as Gina liked, but she knew that she’d been… uncomfortable with it. Hopefully, Lilith would take it better this time.
“I’m fine with conflict. Fighting villains is cathartic. I don’t like emotional conflict,” Rachel corrected quickly. “But… we’d better go downstairs. They’re right, she deserves to know… if she doesn’t already. Circe probably already told her what’s happening.”
Gina was opening her mouth when Circe spoke, the AI’s voice prim and proper, almost like a scolding teacher.
“I have not told Lilith what you two are doing. I offered, but she refused,” Circe told them. “Not that she doesn’t have her susp
icions. I must say, I’m deeply disappointed in the pair of you, but based on what you’ve said, I can’t say that you don’t have your reasons. Even good ones. However, as my primary goal is protecting Lilith, your reasons don’t matter to me. You’re going to hurt her, and that makes me displeased with you. No matter what or why, she’s more important to me than you are.”
That caused Gina to blush a little as she glanced at Rachel awkwardly. Despite the fact she knew Circe monitored the entire building constantly, the direct response made her feel incredibly uncomfortable.
“I… think that’s fair,” Rachel said, shooting Gina a glance. “Do you think she’s ready for us?”
“Ready? Of course not. But there’s no use in delaying further. You’ve done quite enough harm as it is,” Circe told them severely.
“Right. I suppose it’s time to deal with this, then.” Gina said, looking at Rachel as she smiled nervously. “Ready?”
“As I can be,” Rachel agreed.
As the two headed downstair, Gina hoped that the conversation wouldn’t go badly. She doubted there was any way it would go well, but not badly would be nice.
Chapter 4
Monday, August 18th, 2031
Eden Manor, Glendale
Lilith glanced at the mess as she settled into a chair. The packaging of the console made the floor far more cluttered than she was used to and provided a ready distraction from the anxiety twisting at her stomach. A large part of her wanted to finish cleaning it up, but she forced herself to ignore it. Similarly, she kept her legs from crossing, or from holding her arms tight against her body. Her lessons indicated that would make her feel closed off to others, and she didn’t want that.
Rachel settled onto the couch with a troubled look on her face, the way she was toying with the rings on her fingers showing her own nervousness, and she kept crossing and uncrossing her ankles as she tried to get comfortable. Gina looked far more poised than Rachel, but even so, there was a distinct undercurrent of guilt in her expression. She sat next to Rachel, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, which sent another chill through Lilith. Still, Lilith wasn’t going to let them control the entire flow of the conversation, so she took a deep breath, then spoke as calmly as she could.
“So. You said that the problem is something that Amber did,” Lilith said, her voice calm and even, despite how much turmoil she felt inside. “May I ask what that is?”
Rachel almost jumped at that, worry crossing her face, then she shook her head firmly. “Right, I told you that, didn’t I? I’m sorry, I’ve just been… uncomfortable, lately.”
“She’s been jumping at shadows,” Gina corrected, and looked at Lilith, concern in her gaze as she hesitated, then lowered her head slightly. “I’m sorry, Lilith. As some people have pointed out, including you, we’ve grown more distant. The problem… well, it’s simple enough. There’s nothing different from my perspective, I’ve simply… drifted away. Unfortunately, while you were missing, Rachel noticed that her mind had been tampered with. So had mine, for that matter.”
A chill ran down Lilith’s spine, and she slowly inhaled, a bit of relief and worry rushing through her in turn. Then she asked softly, “I… no, I should wait for you to explain. Is she forcing us apart?”
“I don’t know,” Rachel said, shaking her head quickly, her voice trembling. “That’s just the problem, Lilith. Our minds are riddled with her power. Lots of it is focused on where our emotions toward you are concerned, but it is all over, and it affects far more than just the past few days. The linkage that I severed had been there since Crimson Bull and Gina captured Shadowmind, before you were even awake.”
“Oh.” Lilith paused, her eyes widening, and she thought back to the meeting she was going to have with Amber, and the faintest hint of anger sparked inside her as she asked, “So, what does that mean?”
“Remember last year? When we separated because I wasn’t sure if you were influencing my mind or not?” Gina asked, looking at Lilith in a way that intensified the chill Lilith was feeling. There was nothing she wanted more than for Gina to stop, but Lilith felt herself nod, at which point Gina continued, not meeting Lilith’s gaze. “Well, this is worse. Much, much worse. With as much psychic energy as we found, we can’t tell how extensive the changes are. Shadowmind probably pushed us away from you, but did she push us together? Did she change our personalities entirely, or force us to come with you to Paragon City? We don’t know.”
“And unlike the last time, I can’t help check or fix it,” Rachel continued immediately, studying her hands. “Magical healing of this type is tricky. One of the changes she made gave me blind spots, or I’d have noticed this ages ago. I just… overlooked it, until I looked a lot deeper than I normally would have. Those blind spots could lead to me accidentally lobotomizing myself or Gina if I tried to fix it, and that… that’s bad. So we have to go to someone we trust that can do the job, and who we can be confident hasn’t been compromised by her. Or anyone else, for that matter.”
Lilith nodded, drawing a deep breath, then let it out, trying to analyze the situation dispassionately, though that was incredibly hard. If what they were saying was true, and she had no reason to believe it wasn’t, it made a certain amount of sense. However, with how Rachel had been so mysterious about things so far… she came to a conclusion that she really didn’t like.
“You’re leaving without me. Aren’t you?” Lilith asked, though internally she hoped she was wrong.
“I… yes,” Rachel replied nervously, lowering her gaze again, and Lilith saw Gina pull her in tighter, just as it felt like Lilith’s stomach dropped into a void, and her head began spinning. The heroine wasn’t done, though, as she hastily continued. “I don’t want to, but we need to. You’re directly involved in the changes somehow, so fixing it will be easier without your presence to reinforce them, and…”
Lilith stopped listening at that point, instead closing her eyes and inhaling slowly as she marshalled her thoughts. No matter how much she’d thought things through, hearing that they were going to leave was a shock. They were going to leave her alone again… and this time everyone knew who she was. What she was. There wouldn’t be anyone to help if she was attacked again, and… no.
Shaking herself internally, Lilith forced the thoughts down as she thought back to what Bastet had said to her in Sekhet-Aaru. Was this what she’d meant, when she’d talked of others defining her? Somehow Lilith doubted it, but no matter how much she hurt, she didn’t want to hear excuses. Not now, as she strained to keep herself together.
“That’s enough, Rachel. Please,” Lilith said, inhaling slowly as she focused on the two heroines in front of her at last, feeling a tiny bit guilty that she hadn’t listened to half of what had been said, but the aching sensation in her chest was bad enough she couldn’t find it in her to feel truly guilty. No, she was just… she wanted to find a small room again, like she had the last time, and cry. Not that she could right now, so she focused on them, seeing Rachel’s mouth snap shut, and asked, “Where are you going to go?”
“England,” Gina said softly. “The previous Morgan Le Fay lives a little west of London, and she agreed to house us while untangling what was done. She’s good at that sort of magic, better than Rachel by a good margin.”
“Ah. A sensible choice, and since you’re looking for someone you trust… well, I don’t exactly know any psychics who could do that. Not when Amber is involved,” Lilith replied bitterly, shaking her head as she tried to keep her voice from breaking. “How long do you expect it to take?”
“I don’t know. We don’t know how extensive the damage truly is,” Rachel said, looking down at her hands again. “Going off what little I could sense… a month at least. Several months is likely, possibly more. I heard that she spent most of a year healing Serene Skye after Shadowmind wrecked her psyche and turned her against her team. I don’t think this will be as bad, since our minds are at least intact.”
Lilith felt her heart clench at Rachel�
��s explanation, anguish almost strangling her. Even if a year was unlikely, that was longer than she’d known Gina and Rachel. It was almost two thirds of her entire lifetime, and there were two of them. If the woman couldn’t help both of them simultaneously, then they very well might be gone for as long as Lilith had been alive, and that… it felt like her head was spinning, and it was all she could do to keep her fingernails from digging into the armrests.
“Well. That… is a long time,” Lilith replied, taking another deep breath, then another, trying to calm her heart, which was beating incredibly rapidly. “When are you leaving? Soon, I assume. You’ve been distracted, and took a lot of your things from the room.”
“Hopefully not as long as you think, but yes,” Gina said, looking at Rachel. “You were getting the tickets, weren’t you?”
“That’s right. I got them earlier, and our flight leaves tomorrow afternoon,” Rachel said, looking up as she added nervously. “The sooner we go, the sooner it’s done.”
That was yet another hammer blow to Lilith, though she supposed it was better than some of the alternatives. The idea of them leaving so soon, though… it hurt. She thought for a few seconds, then shook her head, laughing darkly as she spoke. “Well, if you have to go, that’s all there is to it. I just… what am I going to do? All of your things are here, and I don’t know many other people.”
“You’ll be fine, Lilith,” Gina said quickly, letting go of Rachel and leaning forward, speaking earnestly. “We’ve already talked to the Sentinels, and they’ve said that their doors are open if you want to see them. I bet Spark will come to visit sometimes, too. Plus, with the way Vegas improved your reputation, I’ll bet that Osmar would be able to get you introductions to other heroes and people around the city. Heck, maybe you could even take a few classes at the university, and see what regular life is like!”
“And it isn’t as though we’ll be ignoring you, even if the changes make it difficult. The time difference will make it hard, and we’re going to have to make sure Madison doesn’t think it’d be bad for us, but we can probably email and make phone calls. Probably mostly email, to be safe,” Rachel said, hesitating for a few seconds before she looked down again. “That said… I’ll understand if you don’t want to. This is the second time we’ve done this to you, and last time it was only for two weeks. If… if you decide you want to move on, just let me know? I don’t know about Gina, but it isn’t fair to you, to make you wait and wonder.”
Queen's Journey (Lilith's Shadow Book 5) Page 3
