It’s My Party

by Ramy Vance

  "Then let's get going."

  Ansalm kicked the door open for Fred. When Fred closed the door, he heard Ansalm's voice in his ear. "Go right."

  Fred listened and started to make his way down the hall. He and Suzuki had spent so much time beneath the earth that they were unable to tell one hall from the other. The only frame of reference they had was the occasional direction from Ansalm. As they walked down the tunnels, orcs and goblins led prisoners back and forth. Most of the prisoners could hardly walk, their faces covered in bloody bruises. Occasionally, they were supported by the orcs who guarded them and berated them as they were dragged through the dark, hellish tunnels.

  Suzuki felt as if he were locked in the body of a giant monster. He was a blood cell speeding through a vein along with thousands of other blood cells in sections of the body that he didn't even know existed. Above was the brain. Only something horrible could be deeper in the mountain.

  Suzuki wondered how much longer Beth was going to last. He wasn't sure how long any of the prisoners that he had passed by had been in the dark, but they all looked ready to crack. Beth was stronger. A few months ago, he would have said that she was the strongest one in the party. That was not an opinion he would stick to anymore. Sandy and Stew were completely different people than the kids who had first stepped into Middang3ard. He hoped that he was as well.

  Fred turned another corner, and Suzuki pulled himself out of his thoughts. He noticed a cell full of humans and elves that was unguarded. Fred went to the cell and peered in.

  One of the prisoner's flinched at the sight of Fred's glowing eyes. Fred's fingers found the latch for the lock, which he undid silently and quickly before disappearing back into the dark of the tunnel. Suzuki half expected the prisoners to come running out of their cell.

  No one left.

  It might take them some time to get the strength to risk escaping, Suzuki thought.

  Ansalm was still relaying directions to Fred. "How much longer are we going to be doing this?" Fred asked, obviously annoyed. "The prison cannot be this large."

  "It isn’t," Ansalm replied. "There are small teleportation devices throughout the tunnels. Think of it this way: for every step you take, that's two backward as well. It takes a considerable amount of time to navigate. Did you have any idea about how you and your military friends are going to get out of here?"

  "We hadn't thought that far ahead. I am trying to, how do you say, play it by ear."

  "Well, you're doing a great job so far. I’ll let you know if I think of anything."

  The longer they traveled the tunnels, the more lost Suzuki felt. He was tired of sitting by and not doing anything. He knew there wasn't much he could do, but all the same, he would have preferred if he were at least in his own body. This was just irritating. It was like being stuck in the backseat while on a road trip. You might be seeing the same thing as the driver and passenger, but somehow, it was tedious and lonely.

  Fred passed by another cell of soldiers. He didn't bother looking inside. He just unlatched the door and continued on. Neither Suzuki nor Fred was paying attention to how many cells had been opened after a time. They had no idea where they were or how long they had been walking. There was only Ansalm's voice, the only guarantee that they were not stuck in some nightmare, occasionally bringing them back to reality.

  "Wait, stop here."

  Fred halted.

  "These are high-priority prisoners. They need to be released.”

  Fred turned to the cell on his right and reached out to unlock it. A hand came out from behind the cell and grabbed Fred's wrist. Fred instantly tensed, preparing to bite the fingers off whoever had touched him. Suzuki asserted his personality over Fred's for a moment, giving the imp a second to think before acting too rashly.

  The prisoner held onto Fred's hand. "What are you doing here?" the soldier asked weakly.

  Fred said nothing and tried to remove his hand from the imprisoned soldier's grasp.

  "I asked you a question, imp."

  "You are not in a position to be asking questions," Fred said.

  "So why not answer then? You don't have anything to lose, do you?"

  Fred ripped his hand from the soldier's. Then he unlatched the cell door and swung it open.

  The soldiers within the cell stared blankly at the imp as the cell door creaked. "What are you doing?" the soldier asked.

  "Freeing you," Fred answered.

  A soldier in the back of the cell tried to get to his feet. He fell over, and another soldier helped him get upright. "Don't trust him," the infirm soldier said. "It's a trick."

  Fred raised his hands as if it would put the soldiers at ease. "No trick," Fred assured them. "You're free to go."

  The soldier nearest the cell scoffed loudly. "Oh, yeah.” He laughed. "Like the Dark One is just going to let us go."

  "The eldritch do not serve the Dark One."

  "Tell that to my buddies who got smoked by one."

  "An eldritch who serves the Dark One loses the right to call himself eldritch. You are free to leave. I suggest you free as many of your friends as you can on your way out."

  The soldiers watched Fred from inside the cell. Even when Fred had turned and left, they were slow to leave. When they did decide to leave the cell, they had pried bars off of the cell. Their eyes were full of fire and fight.

  Suzuki flared up in Fred's mind. That was stupid, he shouted. They're going to tell someone the moment that they get caught.

  Fred chuckled as he turned a corner via Ansalm's instructions. Suzuki, I fear that you may have less faith in your compatriots than I do, he replied.

  I'm just saying it was a stupid idea. You could have just left. What was that? Trying to help the eldritch reputation or something?

  If the Dark One's forces are indeed as vast as they are beginning to seem, it would be in our best interest if the military and MERCs knew that just because they perceive us to be evil, that does not mean that we are all lining up to sell our souls to a megalomaniac with delusions of grandeur. When the fight is brought to the Dark One, I hope to be fighting as an equal, rather than a suspect.

  Hmm. Suzuki didn't know what to say. He hadn't heard Fred imply anything other than disgust for anything that wasn't eldritch or ancient, and he had yet to hear Fred take such a strong stance on the Dark One. Mostly Fred had only mentioned how uncomfortable seeing multiple races working together was. Now Suzuki was seeing that that discomfort may have been deeper than a sense of pride.

  They traveled for what seemed like another hour.

  The sheer boredom was causing Suzuki to slip back into Fred's subconscious. It was not a place he wanted to go. Every time he felt himself sliding into the dark, it was as if he were losing himself. It was growing increasingly difficult to keep himself afloat among the waves of unconscious memory when all he could see through Fred's eyes was the infinite stone walkways and flickers of light. He wondered if it was the same way for Fred as well.

  When Fred was living in Suzuki's pocket dimension, Suzuki could hardly tell that Fred was there. Is it because he was drowning in Suzuki's subconscious? Maybe the imp was just better at keeping himself grounded. Regardless, Suzuki was sinking. He only faintly remembered what they were in these tunnels for. Maybe that had been part of Ansalm's plan. To drive them so far into the tunnels that they forgot themselves. It could be a part of the reintegration.

  Suzuki felt Fred pierce his thoughts. When Fred spoke, it sounded far away, too far away to be real. Yes, I was having the same doubts, Fred said.

  What? What are you talking about?

  Ansalm. If he did mean to reintegrate us, driving us insane in the bowels of a mountain would make us quite susceptible to the reintegration.

  Fred shook his head. But we've been releasing prisoners...

  It could be a ploy to gain our trust. If we could be this lost, think of the prisoners. We probably just released them to be driven mad.

  Fred sat down and leaned against the wall. This do
es not bode well.

  They sat there, panic seeping in. The walls were closing in around them. The tunnels were smaller, hotter than before. Guards would be patrolling through the area soon. Fred and Suzuki were suddenly filled with the desire to end the mission, to find their way out as soon as possible.

  It was the walls. They were tightening. Suzuki could feel them choking him. This was where they were going to wander until their dying days. They were lost. Ansalm had played them. This was going to be where they went mad.

  We're not going to go mad. Fred sighed.

  I didn’t think we were going to, Suzuki retorted.

  I could feel what you were thinking. You were panicking.

  I wasn't. I felt that coming from you.

  Fred was silent for a little bit. This is why it generally is frowned upon for humans to switch places with their familiar. It becomes...difficult to keep yourselves separate.

  It doesn't feel like you've been having a hard time so far.

  If I had not been so preoccupied with keeping you out of my mind, Fred said, I might have seen that this was obviously a trap. And if you weren't so consumed with me, you would have as well.

  That almost sounds like a compliment.

  What part of that sounds like a compliment? Fred asked.

  The part where you think I would have done the same thing as you.

  It is not. Merely an acknowledgment.

  You do think that this is a trap? Suzuki asked.

  At this point, I cannot tell. All that I can say for certain is that we are lost. Do you have any backup plans?

  I think our best plan is to kill our way out.

  Fred laughed. It was stressed but had a hint of something Suzuki had yet to hear in Fred's voice: comradery. We continue to follow the dwarf's instructions?

  Do we have any other choice right now?

  Fred rose and started to walk again. No, I suppose not. Let's get back to it.

  Suzuki’s legs felt heavy. They might give out at any moment. It wasn't the physical strain. Something about the mountains had been sapping strength from both of them since they’d first entered. It must have been some form of defense from the Dark One. Fred probably would have picked up on it if the defense had been magical in nature. Suzuki assumed that it was tech, though. What he wouldn't have given to have brought the Chipmaster along for the ride. She would have been able to help with the situation.

  Ansalm's voice broke Suzuki's thoughts. "Turn left up here," Ansalm said. "This should be your friend's cell."

  Fred pressed himself against the side of the wall. What are the odds that we're walking into an ambush? he asked.

  Eight out of ten.

  We could split up. That way, you could take a few out, and I could, as well. We could go out in a blaze of glory, as you humans call it.

  Eh, I say we hold on it. You never know.

  Fred sighed and nodded in agreement. Then he turned the corner.

  The hallway was empty. It dead-ended at a single cell. Fred went to the cell and unlocked it. He slowly swung the door open.

  Beth sat in the corner, and she looked up as the door creaked open. Her eyes were bright and fiery. It didn't look like the hellish living conditions had gotten to her. Other than Beth, the cell was empty.

  "You're who they sent to get fucked up today?" Beth asked as she stood up. "Let's get started."

  Here she was. Alive. In the flesh. Still strong, still defiant. Still everything Suzuki loved and admired. He needed to be closer to her, to let her know that he'd come to get her out of this shithole. Suzuki surged forward, and Fred lost the reins of his body. For a moment, it was Suzuki's. He was running toward Beth, his arms outstretched, ready to pick her up in an embrace.

  Suzuki got one of his arms around Beth. He was overflowing with things to say. He felt her arms around his shoulders, returning the embrace. Then he felt them tighten. He looked in her face, and there was murder in her eyes. "You're going to have to try harder than that," Beth shouted as she picked Fred up and body-slammed him to the ground. Then she rolled over on top of him and commenced to strangle the life out of his body.

  Fred gasped for breath as he tried to figure out what to do to let Beth know that he was on her side. Suzuki could hardly keep himself from laughing, even though he could feel the life slowly choking in him. He should have known better than to surprise Beth with anything.

  Beth clenched her fingers tighter around Fred's throat. "Fuck you," Beth growled. "Fuck your Dark One. Fuck your parents. I'm taking you out."

  Fred cackled softly as Suzuki's personality bubbled to the forefront. "You taking me out, douchenozzle?" he asked.

  Beth let go of Fred and jumped back. "What the fuck did you just say?"

  "Douchenozzle. I was referring to you, just so you know."

  "Suzy?"

  "In the red, scaly flesh."

  "Oh, my God."

  Beth threw her arms around Fred. Her body trembled with tears as she cried. "I knew you were coming," she whimpered. "I told them you were going to get me out of here."

  Fred held Beth in his arms, pulling himself back so that Suzuki could be more present. They stood there for a while, Suzuki in Fred's body, holding her tightly as Beth cried the last few weeks into his shoulder. Then they were silent for some time.

  Beth pulled away from Suzuki and Fred. "How the fuck did you get here?" Beth asked.

  "Not important," Suzuki answered. "We have to figure out how we're getting out."

  Beth walked to the threshold of the cell. She peeked her head outside it. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to look past this fucking cell. I swear to God, I would have ripped these bars out and beat every fucking orc to death if I could have."

  "We're going to get out of here,” Suzuki said. “Then we’ll figure out what to do."

  "I'm not leaving without my squad."

  “Well, where the fuck are they?" Suzuki asked.

  "No idea."

  "Hey, Ansalm. You down for springing more kids?"

  There was a crackle over the earpiece. "You fucking bet I am," Ansalm whooped.

  Fred placed his hand on Beth's shoulder. "All right, we're getting your guys out. Let's get at it."

  Beth clapped her hands and gave Fred a hug. "Fuck," she whispered as she pulled away. "This is really fucking weird."

  Fred raised his hand in a sign of deference. "Please hold on," Fred said.

  Suzuki felt something pulling on his stomach. Then his skin felt like it was inside out and he was coughing, trying to pick himself off of the ground. He looked down at his hands. Fred had reversed their possession. Suzuki stood and looked into Beth's eyes with his eyes, for the first time in months.

  Beth touched Suzuki’s cheek. "It's really you," she whispered. "Holy fucking shit, it's really you."

  Suzuki felt Beth's rough hands across his face. He had never felt her hands across his face. His heart was in his throat, beating faster than it had ever beaten before. "Yeah, I'm here," Suzuki murmured. “I'm here."

  Beth embraced Suzuki, her heart was racing against his. She was trembling, and still crying. "I didn't think it was going to be like this," she said finally after breaking the embrace. She was still holding onto him, her arms around his waist. "But I'm glad it's you getting me out of this shithole."

  “Glad you waited around for me."

  "Fuck off. Fuckin' douchenozzle."

  "I'm assuming every dude in the military was lining up to save you."

  "Well, at least you showed up. Honestly, I don't even know if anyone noticed we were captured. There hasn't been—"

  "No one knows. No one ever knows. Apparently, a load of MERCs got captured, and no one knew about it. The Dark One is picking MERC and military off, and no one is even noticing."

  Beth nodded and looked around the cell as if she were trying to piece something together. "It makes sense. There's too many of them. We’re losing people and can't even keep track of them. That's what happens when you fight an infinite a
rmy."

  "Fuck it. We need to get out of here. We’ll figure out what to do about that later."

  "What do you mean we'll figure out what to do about that later?"

  Suzuki turned to Beth. "The Dark One," Suzuki said. "We'll figure out what to do about the Dark One once we get out of here."

  Beth laughed. There was a tad bit of mania in her voice. "What are you talking about? Taking on the Dark One?"

  "You're fucking right I'm talking about taking on the Dark One."

  "Suzuki, we're outgunned. Have you seen this place? This is only a fraction of what he's capable of. How the fuck do you think we're going to take him on?"

  "That’s what we're here for. Did you forget that?"

  Beth looked down at her feet. After a few seconds, she looked up at Suzuki and smiled weakly. "Wasn't expecting to hear that from you," she said. "You've changed, Suzy. In a good way."

  "All I've thought about for the last few weeks is getting you back. But I haven't forgotten why we're here to begin with. Someone needs to stop the Dark One. And that's going to be the Mundanes."

  11

  The plan was simple enough. Suzuki, Fred, and Beth were going to sneak out of prison and return to spring the rest of Beth’s platoon. On paper, it sounded like a great idea, and as long as Suzuki didn’t think too much about the technicalities, it seemed like something that could easily be done. Ansalm had been able to lead Fred and Suzuki to Beth, why wouldn’t he be able to lead them to the other soldiers?

  Fred and Suzuki switched their bodies back. Beth looked a little unnerved by standing alone in her cell with the imp. Hearing Suzuki’s voice coming from the imp had been a little disconcerting.

  “So, we found a mole in the Dark One’s fortress,” Suzuki said.

  Beth nervously checked outside of her cell. “Convenient,” she murmured. “And it’s not a trap?”

  “That’s what we thought too, but it’s been working out so far.”

  Ansalm’s voice crackled over Fred’s earpiece. “You know I can hear you guys, right?”