It’s My Party

by Ramy Vance

  Sandy floated down to the ground, her wand raised high above her head. “I think I got this,” she said as the holes in her masks began to glow. The cloak of ash covering her bones started to glow brightly and change color as blossoms and wildflowers covered her body. Her wand magically turned into her old staff, a hewn, crooked wooden thing, and she slammed it into the mud.

  Suzuki stared at Sandy. She looked impressive. It was like every couple of weeks, she found a new magical path and mastered it. “So, what exactly is this?” Suzuki asked.

  “The amulet lets me remember everything I’ve read, even stuff I forgot I read. I guess that crash course on alchemy really stuck. I’m still trying to get the hang of it, though.”

  The mud around Suzuki and Sandy’s feet turned into crystal clear water. Suzuki could see to the bottom even though the water was the consistency of mud. He instantly regretted being able to see.

  At first glance, it looked as if the water was filled with thousands and thousands of eels. When Suzuki looked closer, though, it was a little harder to determine what was slithering between his feet. They were too long to be merely eels. In fact, they looked somewhat like tentacles. Fucking tentacles, Suzuki thought. I’m so sick of tentacles.

  The eel tentacles suddenly retracted, sending up a jolt of electricity through the muddy water, shocking both Sandy and Suzuki, who fell to their knees, the muddy water washing up over their faces.

  Suzuki lay there, the mud washing over his face as his body tingled with the electrical current. It wasn’t enough to knock him out, but it was enough to render him immobile for a moment. He rallied his strength and got to his feet. At his side, Sandy was already getting back to her feet. “Back to the trees,” Suzuki suggested.

  Sandy’s eyes got a wild look to them. “Fuck that noise, I want to rip whatever the fuck that is to shreds. I wanna see guts.”

  “And how are we gonna do that?” José asked.

  “Buff us.”

  “Got it.”

  Sandy raised her staff and the air crackled with electricity. But instead of shocking anyone, the electricity gathered in a series of small balls that floated over to each of them and settled into their chests. “Get your asses down here,” Suzuki shouted, checking his HUD. It read 50% chance of success. 50%, high enough to go for it. Low enough that success wasn’t guaranteed.

  Perfect, he thought before saying out loud, “We’re gonna have ourselves an old-fashioned tussle.”

  Stew was the first out of the trees, hardly able to contain his joy at an upcoming fight, followed by José, then Beth. “Do you think it’s gonna be a big one?” Stew gleefully asked.

  Sandy waved her hand and the water ahead of them cleared up, not as clear as what they were standing in, but clear enough to see the retreating eel tentacles. Suzuki and the group chased the tentacles until they came to a large, mossy cavern in the thick of the swamp. Heavy fog poured from the cavern’s opening as the tentacles withdrew inside.

  Stew drew both of his swords and twirled them. “So, how’d this shit figure out where we were?”

  José stomped his feet in the mud.

  An eel tendril shot out in his direction, nothing more than a mass of snapping jaws filled with teeth, electricity jumping from its body. José stepped to the side and grabbed the tentacle. A jolt of electricity ran through him, but he ignored it, taking time to observe the tendril before releasing it to return to the cavern. “That’s how,” José explained. “It can feel our vibrations. That must be how it uses its tendrils, or eels, or whatever the fuck they are.”

  Suzuki ran through his options, mentally taking stock of all the information that he had. There were hundreds of tendrils. The creature generated electricity, enough to shock, but not enough to kill. The mud was thick enough to keep the water from being super conductive. The creature was holed up in a cavern, waiting for anything to vibrate the ground.

  “Sandy, can you do something about all this water?”

  Sandy waved her staff and the water directly around the Mundanes rolled up as if it were being pushed away in a diameter around them. The circle of solid earth extended to about twenty feet. Flowers bloomed across the circle that Sandy had magicked.

  “Stew, could you kindly make some noise?”

  If possible, Stew grinned even wider than before. “Oh, hell yeah, I can.” Stew crouched low to the ground and then exploded up into the air. He soared nearly higher than the highest tree.

  Suzuki whistled, obviously impressed. “Now that is some fucking height. All right, everybody get ready. When Stew lands, those tendrils are gonna come for us. Everyone get a handful and we’re yanking this son of a bitch out and taking care of this here and now. I don’t want any more surprises while we’re getting through this swamp. ‘For honor’.”

  “For glory,” Sandy shouted.

  Stew landed with a heavy thud that sent a concussive shock wave rocking through the swamp. “For fucking XP!” Stew shouted.

  Eel tendrils shot out of the cavern almost instantly. There were hundreds, each one ending in a small mouth that gnashed and sparked electricity while headed toward the group. Suzuki jumped out of the way, sliding underneath the volley of tendrils, and he wrangled an armful. He looked around to see how the rest of the troop was faring. Beth had managed to get a handful of eel as well. So had Sandy and José. Stew had too, but in his own way. He was wrapped up almost like a cocoon by the eel tentacles. His screaming was muffled through the tentacles.

  “All right!” Suzuki shouted. “Pull!”

  They all pulled as hard as they could. There was a loud screech from within the cavern, and the creature slowly was forced from its hiding spot. Out in the open, Suzuki could see just what kind of monster was before them. It was nearly the size of the cavern and looked somewhat like a massive toad, covered in warts and spots. Instead, there was the mass of tentacles that spread from its stomach, with some sprouting out of its back. It also had a large tree growing from its back, something old and gnarled, twisting toward the sky as if it were reaching for the sun. The mythical eel-sapo roared as it stepped out into the sunlight, its small eyes closing for a moment, only to snap back open as thousands of eyes opened up all over its body.

  “Keep moving!” Suzuki commanded.

  Beth whirled around and gave Suzuki a bewildered look. “But it can feel us moving,” she said. “Why the hell would we do that?”

  “If it hears us moving, it knows we’re out here and won’t go back in the cavern. That way we can fight it on our terms.”

  Stew had finally gotten himself free from the tendrils. A mass of eel tendrils lay at his feet and he was swinging his axes wildly, trying to get himself a bit of breathing room. “Let me in, coach,” Stew joked.

  Suzuki ran his hand across his ax, thinking of his list of weapon enchantments. He cast a sharpening and fire enchantment so that his blade glowed with an unearthly heat. “Everyone balls in!” Suzuki shouted. “Sandy, containment!”

  Sandy whirled her staff around and slammed it into the ground. The mud cleared away in a direct path to the electric frog/eel creature. More flowers and vines sprouted up from the pathway, ensnaring the monster in a cluster of vines as it screeched with rage.

  Stew, Sandy, and José charged the monster. José raised his sword and prepared to bring it down on the monster’s head, but he was snatched up by the creature’s tentacles, a strong electric shock coursing through his body, the tendrils tossing him away. He hit the ground with a sickening thud and lay there for a few moments before he could move.

  Suzuki leapt back, away from the eel-sapo, toward José. He helped José to his feet, and they turned their attention back to the eel tentacles flying toward them. José and Suzuki both chopped them down without wasting any time. From what Suzuki could see, it looked as if the eel-sapo was creating more eels. Almost like a hydra. Up ahead, Beth, Stew, and Sandy were trying to fight their way closer to the massive creature. Even with it being pinned down, it was still a formidable foe. “Fla
nk it, Stew,” Suzuki shouted.

  Stew didn’t take long to respond. He leapt through the air, easily soaring over the eel-sapo, landing on the other side, both swords already drawn. He buried them deep in the eel-sapo’s back. Black blood squirted from the wound, covering Stew in its thick, iron-like mess. Then four tentacles sprouted from the monster’s open wound, wrapping Stew up, shocking him, and throwing him into the mud. Stew rolled to his feet, slogging through the mud, pulled his throwing daggers and tossed them at the eel-sapo’s eyes as he joined up with the rest of the party. “Anybody getting strong hydra vibes from this shit-head?” Stew shouted.

  Beth flipped through the air, landing on top of the eel-sapo. She drove her sword deep into its warty head, sending blood and chunks of eel tentacles flying everywhere. Suzuki stopped what he was doing, his eyes glued to Beth. He hadn’t seen her in full battle mood in a long time. She was a beast. Every one of her movements looked like they were divinely planned, the way that she flipped through the air, her muscles twitching as she twisted the blade of her sword before pulling it out of the eel-sapo’s skull. It was a beautiful orchestration of pain and skill, which made the image of tentacles wrapping around her feet and slamming her into the ground all the more jarring. She groaned slightly as she picked herself up, rolling out of the way of a bundle of tentacles that came flying through the air.

  Sandy stood back-to-back with Stew, slamming her staff into the ground, sending short shockwaves that shook the eel-sapo’s balance, changed to her wand, and sent a steady stream of fire toward the creature before switching back to her staff, calling down a couple bolts of lightning from the sky to strike the ground around the monster. “So much for fighting it on our terms,” Stew shouted.

  A bundle of tentacles came at Suzuki, their mouths snapping with bloodlust. Suzuki cleaved them in half, threw his ax, and then recalled it in a fluid motion. “Can’t you just go berserk and finish it off or something?” Suzuki asked as he noticed Beth flying through the air in his direction. He stepped to the side, opened his arms, and caught her.

  Beth jumped out of Suzuki’s arms, smiling. She looked like she was having a good time—as good of a time as you can have when your life is in danger at least. “Thanks, Suz,” she said. “So, any great ideas?”

  Suzuki swatted off some tentacles snaking his way. He looked at the eel-sapo. It was still growing more appendages, but no longer healing itself. It was covered in open wounds and the ground beneath it was breaking apart. “Yeah, I think I got one,” Suzuki said. “Mundanes, all in!”

  “Finally,” Stew shouted. “Let’s do this!”

  Stew ran forward, pulling out his last two swords, screaming as he ran, Sandy right behind him, her wand glowing with bright energy. José followed closely behind as Beth and Suzuki charged the eel-sapo. Suzuki jumped and soared through the air, landing on top of the creature and Beth landed next to him. Sandy and Stew took the legs, along with José. “All right,” Suzuki shouted. “You guys take out the legs and we’ll take out the head.”

  The Mundanes attacked like a well-oiled machine. Each member of the party selected a section to hack away at, spewing black blood all over the swamp. Beth easily fell in with the group, standing atop the giant tentacled toad, nearly laughing with blood lust as her and Suzuki’s steel cut through the coarse, oily skin of the eel-sapo.

  The legs of the creature went out from under it, and in a last-ditch effort, it rolled over onto its side, trying to crush its attackers. Sandy, Stew, and José were able to toss themselves out of the way and avoid being crushed. Beth and Suzuki leapt straight into the air. The toad exposed its stomach. Beth came crashing down on its soft under belly, slicing it open down the middle. As Suzuki fell, he recalled his ax and drove it deep into the eel-sapo’s body.

  All was quiet. The eel tentacles and the eel-sapo lay still, dead.

  Stew cracked his knuckles as he leaned back and let the bones in his spine pop. “Now that was a fucking fight!” he exclaimed. “Do you see how big this son of a bitch is?”

  Sandy had pulled off her amulet and was back to her regular, casual MERC battle robes. “Yeah, he put up a pretty good fight. Suzuki was right, it would have been a pain in the ass wandering around the swamps with that thing trying to take us down. Good call, Suzuki.”

  Suzuki nodded as he accepted the gratitude and compliments. He didn’t think that it was that big of a deal. It was something that anyone in the party could and would have figured out. He just happened to be the first one to say something.

  Beth and Stew were chattering with each other as José went to inspect the body of the eel-sapo. Suzuki was only able to pick up little snatches of what they were saying, they were talking so fast. Beth seemed excited. She was smiling and miming stabbing. She and Stew gave each other high fives. Suzuki did catch Beth saying that this fight was just like old times and she had forgotten how much she loved raiding with the Mundanes. “I haven’t felt like this in forever,” Beth said. “It was amazing…just like when we were in VR. Even better than we were in VR. We kicked the fucking shit out of that thing.”

  Suzuki walked over to join José while he appraised the corpse of the slain creature. José waved for Suzuki to come give him a hand. They both pushed up against the eel-sapo and rolled it over on its back. There was a large microchip attached to the back of its neck. “Figures,” José said. “Even the wildlife around here is being put to use by the Dark One.”

  Suzuki pulled the microchip out of the eel-sapo’s neck. “I didn’t get a chance to grab one of these when we were getting out before,” Suzuki said. “We should give this to Chip and see if she can get any information out of it.”

  “Why would she know anything?”

  Suzuki looked at José, slightly confused. There had been an edge to José’s question, almost as if he were afraid of something, or as if he did not want to give something away. It was the first time that Suzuki thought that he might have to be careful with how he was phrasing something to José. “I mean, she’s good with tech,” Suzuki explained, weighing each of his words for how they might be taken. “I’m not quite sure what exactly she is, but maybe she has an inclination toward understanding this kind of shit. I’ve seen the way that she tears up those HUDs. It’s almost like she’s doing it to relax or something. She’d probably be able to find something that we could work with.”

  José nodded, his face softening. Whatever had been there passed like clouds before the sun. His face was radiant again, almost cheerful. “Not a bad idea,” he mused. “Not a bad idea at all. On another note, I’ve been watching you, kid. You’ve been pretty impressive this trip.”

  “You trying to flirt with me or something?” Suzuki joked.

  “Also, I liked you a lot more when you were in fear and awe of me.”

  “Well, you know what they say about getting to know your idols and gods. They become painfully human.”

  José chuckled. “Which I am… and I’m feeling it a bit more than usual. I haven’t had a quest this long in a while. I’m starting to feel it in these old ass bones. Like I was saying, though, I’ve been watching you. You’re not a born leader, which is what makes this so impressive. When I first met you, I thought you were just some scrawny punk kid who’d gotten himself into something that was way over his head. I think that I was right, but I’ve been watching you grow. It’s been something, to say the least. You’re really coming into your own. You’ve got a good head for tactics and, even better, you know what’s going on with your party.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Simple orders. Lots of wiggle room for them to do what they’re best at, and you adapt your plans well to what they’re doing. That kill move that you called for this son of a bitch was like watching a work of art unfold in front of me. You all moved seamlessly. Even Beth, and she hasn’t seen you in a good chunk of time. Yet here the Mundanes are, fighting together better than most of our MERCs.”

  “It’s mostly them, you know. I just make an occasional obser
vation. Sandy’s the one trying to get god level with magic; Stew’s one hell of a scrapper; and you saw Beth. She’s just a great all-around fighter, probably the best I’ve ever seen.”

  José waved a dismissive hand. “You really trust your party, and they trust you a lot. You’ve got a lot of good shit in you, kid. I’m excited to see how you bring it to the Dark One.”

  “Thanks, José. That really means a lot to me.”

  “Come on, we should keep moving.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.”

  Suzuki and José joined up with the rest of the Mundanes. They checked around to see if there was anything that could be looted, but found nothing. Stew, determined not to leave empty-handed, cut off a couple of the eel tentacles and a hunk of meat from the main toad body. He sprinkled it with salt and stashed it in his inventory. The plan was to give some to Diana and Wendy at the Red Lion. The last few meals that Stew had been cooking with Diana had stirred his curiosity about different kinds of meats that he hadn’t thought to try. Suzuki could understand why. He still occasionally thought of the giant insect that had been whipped up at their last big meal. Just the thought was enough to make his mouth water.

  Once Stew was satisfied harvesting the remains of the eel-sapo, they got going again. Sandy tossed another sound dampening and invisibility spell over them all, letting José’s passive buff take care of extending the range of the spells, just to be safe. They all checked their statuses and then moved to the trees for additional safety. It took longer to move through the swamp, but it was a worthwhile decision. Suzuki noticed more of the caverns beneath them, the mud disturbed by slithering eels. The trees allowed them to keep moving, albeit at a slower rate, without calling more attention to themselves. As they continued on, the swamp thinned until they could see where the swamp ended and a new defense ring began. The distinction was almost immediate. Massive buildings were in the distance, buildings made of sleek metal and constructed in bizarre ways that Suzuki knew he would have to get closer to fully understand.