Almost Paradise

by Chris Keniston

  Dr. Shepherd stood to one corner of the decking. Dressed in a pale pink polo shirt and well-ironed khaki shorts. Not surprisingly, leather Docksiders completed the GQ look. What made the muscles in Billy’s shoulders knot like a Boy Scout’s badge rope was how closely the man hovered over Angela.

  Sitting in one of the pool chairs, she smiled as the children each conquered a new task, sharing their glee with hoots, cheers, and applause. A week had passed since the night in her apartment. Thoughts of test tubes and doctors and babies had teased at his brain and chased the ghosts from his dreams.

  Except now he wasn’t the only one watching her. Dr. Slick-As-A-Magazine-Cover had arrived a short while ago and looked to be observing Angela more than the children in the new juniors’ program.

  Ever since the charming psychologist came through the shop, Billy had told himself to go back to work. Who Angela spent her time with was none of his concern. But as any adult conditioned from childhood to stop and stare at the pretty red fire truck zooming by with lights flashing and sirens blaring, he couldn’t keep himself from staring at the couple, waiting for the burst of flames.

  “Looking good.” Nick lifted his chin in the direction of the pool.

  “Yeah.”

  “So why do you look like your CO revoked your weekend pass?”

  Because Angela has babies on the brain, and Dr. Slick looks too willing to slide into home. “You’re seeing things.”

  It took half a heartbeat for Nick to follow Billy’s gaze and assess the situation. “She doesn’t like him.”

  “Who said she did?”

  In a misplaced effort to hide his smile, Nick turned to view Lexie and the kids. “You could beat him to the punch and ask her out.”

  “Not interested.”

  “You’re turning green at the gills.”

  “Am not.”

  “Seriously, man? Do you really want me to revert to toddler speak? Are too. Just ask her to dinner or a movie.”

  “I don’t date.”

  “And why the hell not? You’re not dead. You’re the one who told me to pay more attention to the nice girls. She’s a nice girl. Pay attention.” Nick tapped his toe behind him, executed a ninety-degree military turn, and walked away.

  Not dead.

  Billy’s gaze returned to Angela. She was smiling at something Dr. Slick had just said, revealing the dimple on her cheek. In a smooth gesture disguised to be casual, the good doctor let his hand rest briefly on Angela’s shoulder before gliding it across her back and neck and letting it fall back to his side.

  Knots twisting between Billy’s shoulders pulled tighter. “Damn.”

  * * *

  “I think this program is worth exploring further.” Dr. Kenneth Shepherd shifted his attention back to the children in the pool.

  “It makes sense to me,” Angela commented. “Whenever I’ve been on the boats with Lexie when she’s leading a group, I’ve noticed quiet, shy people who don’t know anyone else in the group become

  talkative and friendly after coming up from a dive. I don’t understand what it is about pretty fish, nearby sharks, and gliding turtles that is so different underwater than on the other side of an aquarium glass wall, but it is.”

  “I think I might just take a few classes myself.”

  “You want to learn to dive?”

  “Maybe. I swim, but school first, then building a practice never allowed time for advanced water sports. Learning to snorkel may give these kids a sense of power and freedom they don’t feel in their

  everyday lives, but having a point of common ground between us could make it easier for me to help make a difference.”

  While observing Lexie’s class, Kenneth Shepherd told Angela a little about some of the children he’d treated, and she realized how much this man loved what he did. A small spray of water splashed at her feet as the three little boys climbed out of the pool and scurried past her.

  “It looks like they’re all done.” Dr. Shepherd pushed his chair back from the table. “This has turned out to be a very productive morning. Not only have I learned a great deal, but I also got to enjoy the unexpected pleasure of your company. When I set up this little observation time with Billy, he didn’t mention you’d be observing, too.”

  “My coming with Lexie this morning was a spur-of-the-moment thing.” After too many days of daytime TV and her own thoughts for company, she’d been desperate for a change of scenery.

  “If your schedule’s free, I’d be pleased if you would join me for lunch.”

  Lunch. With an eligible bachelor. But she and Lexie were going to grab a bite to eat at the Taco Shack. “Thank you, but I’ve already made other plans.”

  “I guess today isn’t meant to be my lucky day. Perhaps we could make it another time.” he dropped his hand on her shoulder and let it sit a second before sliding it away.

  “Another time,” she echoed with a nod.

  As he walked away, she wondered what the hell was wrong with her. The guy was tall, in good shape, with dark hair and twinkling dark eyes that made him absolutely TV-star handsome. Both well educated and well employed, he had an excellent reputation and seemed to really care about kids. Any woman should be delighted to find herself involved with him.

  So why hadn’t she said yes? Her two weeks to drive would be up in only a few more days. If she was going to follow through with having a baby on her own, it was time she accepted that she didn’t have to love the man, or even like him. She was no longer looking for a husband. Just a father.

  “Hey, Ken,” she called after him. “Are you free for dinner?”

  * * *

  “Daddy.” As usual, Nick’s son, Bradley, burst into the shop calling for his dad and spewing enough energy to churn butter with a spoon.

  “Hey, tiger.” Billy emerged from the back office just in time to brace himself before fifty pounds of momentum flew into his arms.

  Still wet from a private session, Nick entered the shop from the pool area. A broad grin bloomed across his face at the sight of his wife and son. Pausing at Kara’s side, he pulled her into his arms and planted a kiss on her barely suitable for public viewing.

  “Your phone is off again.” Kara leaned away, gave her husband a chaste peck on the cheek, and turned to face Billy. “At this rate Bradley will be ready to play linebacker for the Cowboys before his next birthday.”

  “Can’t argue with that.” Billy winked at the little boy now bolting into his father’s embrace. So many changes had come about since this little guy had moved to Kona to be with his dad. “What’s on the agenda?”

  “This morning didn’t go as expected, and I missed lunch with Lexie and Angela. I thought I could at least keep our shopping date this afternoon, but Judge Camden referred me to a potential client who has to meet this afternoon or not at all, so change of plan. Bradley is staying here for Maile to pick up, and I’ll drop Angela at her place on my way to the office.

  “Can I wait outside?” Bradley asked.

  “Sure, sport.” The pride of fatherhood painted brightly on his face, Nick released the hold on his son and playfully mussed the boy’s curly hair.

  Bradley tore off toward the glass doors leading to the pool area where Lexie was about to start an adult beginners’ class.

  “Stay with Miss Angela,” Kara called out.

  Billy moved closer to where Kara and Nick stood. “But Angela lives in the opposite direction from your office.”

  “You want to drive her home?” Kara tossed out an innocent smile that he suspected held little innocence and a great deal of cunning.

  “Sure.” Had he said that? So much was still a jumble inside him. The urge to claim Angela as his own had grown stronger with every passing day and increased exponentially after watching her with Dr. Slick this morning. But there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. She wanted the whole package. Something he couldn’t give her. Ever.

  Chapter Eleven

  Pleased Angela had invited him in for a taste o
f her homemade coconut cream pie, Billy leaned against the large doorway into the kitchen. From where he stood, he had a camera-lens view of her very nicely rounded derriere. Head inside the fridge, she repositioned miscellaneous items inside before turning with a cream pie in her hands and a huge grin on her face.

  Confusion replaced the bright smile when she saw he hadn’t taken a seat. “Oh, uh. Is there something wrong with the kitchen chairs? I mean, would you rather sit at the…” Her gaze ricocheted from the kitchen table to the living room sofa to the lanai and back. “Where would you like to sit?”

  Her wandering eye took another quick race from room to room. Only from years of learning to look for the tells that showed the enemy’s weakness did he notice her gaze hesitate briefly at his prosthetic leg.

  Two years ago the slightest indication someone was feeling sorry for him would have triggered his anger with the force of a .44 Magnum. Now the only thing keeping him from being mildly irritated was knowing it was healthier for him if she thought he was uncomfortable than knowing he’d been staring at her ass. “The kitchen’s fine.”

  “Would you please grab those plates and forks I left on the counter?” She tipped her head, pointing to her left.

  “Sure.” Between her shapely rear end and the amazing pie, his drool glands were working overtime. And the first bite did not disappoint. “Oh, this is just wonderful.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Where did you learn to bake?”

  “Mom. She was a pretty good cook, but she was a fabulous baker. Some of it I learned. But some things never taste as good as what Mom bakes. Coconut cream pie is one of my best.”

  He waved a fork at her. “You could sell these to any pie shop in town. Hell, you could open your own pie shop.” He shoveled another forkful into his mouth.

  “Glad you like—”

  The sounding of his cell phone cut her off. Billy glanced at the phone and without chewing, swallowed the mouthful of pie. “I need to take this.”

  Angela pointed to the lanai. “If you need some privacy—”

  “Thanks.” He stepped over to the patio door but stopped at the glass, his gaze falling on the ocean in the distance. Taking in a deep breath, he tapped his phone. “Hi, Claire.”

  “Hi, yourself.” Claire’s voice carried softly through the airwaves.

  “I was about to call in the SEALs to track you down.”

  “Sorry, summer is always insane. The last few days have had me running to keep up with the kids’ schedule. This is the first chance I’ve had to listen to voice mail. Is something wrong?”

  He hated that she was doing all this alone. Not that every military wife with a deployed husband wasn’t in the same situation. But her husband wasn’t coming home to make things less busy. Joe would never be there to help with car pools, homework, and bicycles labeled Some Assembly Required. “I saw the photo you posted on Facebook. They’ve grown.”

  “Kids do that, you know?” Claire chuckled with real humor in her voice. Good. He wanted her to be happy. Needed her to be happy. “Or did you think you came out of the womb a six-foot hunk?”

  Now that was someplace he didn’t want to go. “Susie reminds me of Joe.”

  The phone line went silent, and he wondered how he could so easily fit his size-thirteen shoes into his average-sized mouth. “JJ favors you, I think.”

  “He looks like my dad. To hear Dad talk, you’d think Joe and I had nothing to do with JJ’s good looks.”

  Billy opened the door and stepped out onto the lanai. “It’s been almost a year since I saw the kids. I was thinking maybe it’s time I came for a visit. You know, so they don’t forget their Uncle Billy.”

  “Bill. We’re fine. We’re all right. I’m all—”

  “I know. I just thought…” What? Visiting a few days, cleaning out her gutters, and tossing a ball with her son could make up for a dead husband. He’d tried that already. “You’ll let me know if you need anything, right?”

  “You know I will. Are you okay? You sound a little funny.”

  “Yeah. I’m fine.” He hesitated. “Just have a lot on my mind.”

  “Well, if it involves a nice girl, don’t think too hard.” Claire had a hefty infectious laugh that came from deep inside her.

  Billy chuckled despite the turmoil chatting with Claire always stirred. “Hug those kids from their Uncle Billy.”

  They said their good-byes, and Billy stared at the disconnected cell. Lifting his gaze to the woman inside, he watched Angela sitting at the table. This wisp of a woman had marched into his life almost two years ago and stolen his breath with a simple wave. All the time he’d sat back as she fruitlessly tried to garner the attention of his best friend.

  Was it really only a couple of weeks ago his long-sleeping senses came bursting back to life with a simple intoxicating kiss? Once again he glanced down at the phone still clutched in his hand.

  For months after the explosion, through the early depression, the anger, the hurt, the rebellion, he hadn’t cared if he ever got it up again. Then as months passed, after settling in Savannah, he feared he couldn’t.

  He’d been released from the hospital. Done his rehab. Learned to walk with the state-of-the-art prosthesis. Something that not all vets had the benefit of. Something he chose never to forget.

  The navy had sent him home. Instead of making his way to Kona, he found himself on a flight to Savannah. To Joe’s home. Checked into a local extended-stay hotel, he’d called the now-familiar number and announced to his buddy’s widow that he’d arrived for a visit.

  “Oh my God. You should have called me. I would have picked you up at the airport.”

  Claire’s excitement made him smile. Not something he did much lately. “Honestly? I was afraid you’d tell me not to come.”

  “Never! We were on our way to Papa Pizza’s for dinner. Give me your address, and we’ll swing by and pick you up.”

  “No need. I have a car and GPS. I’ll pick you up.”

  “You drive?”

  The horror in her voice made him laugh out loud. And oh, how good it felt. “Yeah, I just put a flashing neon sign on the roof that warns everyone to get out of my way.”

  “You’re terrible.”

  He could hear the smile in her voice. She’d always been a good sport. Whenever the opportunity to meet up with Joe arose, she’d taken it. And the woman could roll with whatever stupid humor a gang of testosterone-overloaded sailors could throw her way. It was one of the things Joe loved so much about her. Claire had been the love of Joe’s life. The ocean his mistress. Billy was glad to see she was still a good sport. Coming to Savannah had been the right decision.

  One week later he’d moved into the guest room and, piece by piece, begun carving his way into Claire and the kids’ lives. For a military wife, the best part of a husband in EOD is they tended to be good at taking things apart and putting them back together again. Sometimes more efficiently than original condition. In short order he’d managed to make the dishwasher, the sprinkler control box, the master sink faucet, and the garage door opener better than new. He’d also become proficient at mowing the yard, cleaning the gutters, and grilling hamburgers to six-year-old JJ’s standard of perfection.

  He’d also learned to function with little or no sleep, catching short naps, long enough to refresh but not long enough for the nightmares to slip in. A few times he’d thought sheer exhaustion would be enough to sleep without dreams, but the ghosts had always found him.

  Then one day Billy had taken JJ to the park. Wiffle ball and bat in hand, the two had been practicing for JJ’s new T-ball team when they decided it was time to pause for ice cream, and JJ decided it was time for a man-to-man talk.

  “Uncle Billy?”

  “Yes.” Billy sat across from six-year-old Joe Junior at the wooden picnic table.

  “Are you going to be my new daddy?”

  The shock of the question almost knocked Billy out of his seat. Where had that come from?

 
; “Why do you ask that?”

  JJ took a long lick of the confection that had started dripping onto his fingers. “Mommy says Daddy isn’t coming home from war anymore.”

  Ignoring the wave of guilt washing over him, Billy nodded. “Did your mommy tell you how much your daddy wanted to come home?”

  “Mm-hm. She said sometimes bad things happen and good soldiers die, but Daddy was a hero, and someday I’ll see him again in heaven.”

  “That’s right.” And sometimes good sailors die when good friends let them down.

  “Mommy says now I’m the man of the family, but I think you do a better job.”

  Even though Billy’s heart was heavy, the little boy’s simplistic view made him smile. “You think so?”

  With another long lick, JJ nodded. “You do all the stuff daddy used to do when he came home. You know, fixing stuff. And Mommy was always happy when Daddy was home. But when Daddy went to heaven, Mommy cried a lot.”

  The weight in Billy’s heart grew spines, pricking painfully.

  “But Mommy doesn’t cry anymore. So are you going to be my new Daddy?”

  At that moment everything seemed to suddenly make sense. Billy had a debt to pay. To Joe, to Claire, to JJ and little Susie.

  Not wanting to say the wrong thing, Billy opted for evasion. “No one can replace your daddy, but I’ll be here as long as you and your mom want me. Okay?”

  Smiling, JJ went after the rest of his ice cream with gusto, and Billy contemplated what to do next.

  Billy remembered every day with such clarity. Especially his growing fears. Claire was a very attractive woman. Long blonde hair, big brown eyes with naturally long lashes, full lips, and a traditional hourglass figure that looked damn fine in a tank top and leggings. And yet, not once had the slightest spark of interest flared for him.

  At first he’d thought it was because Claire had been his best friend’s wife, and a guy never poached on a buddy’s wife. Joe may have been gone for almost a year at the time, but Billy had still thought of her as Joe’s wife.