Living My Best Life

by Claire Frost

  ‘Janet and John are happily frittering away my inheritance in the US,’ she said with a hollow laugh. ‘Not that I disagree with them doing so, but it would definitely never cross their minds to help out their grown-up daughters, financially or otherwise. I can hear my dad saying, “If you’re old enough and wise enough to leave full-time education, you’re old enough and wise enough to stand on your own two feet, girls!” ’

  ‘Hmm, is there anyone else who might be able to help out? I absolutely would if I could, but as you know, Style It Out hardly pays us a massive salary and sadly I never came into the fortunes some of my trust-fund friends did in their early twenties.’

  ‘Ha, imagine. Anyway, you’d have spent it all on amazing vintage clothes, knowing you, Suze! But even if you were sitting on a small fortune, I wouldn’t let you give any of it to me, you know that.’ She paused, then said slowly, ‘I was talking to Cosette the other week and she did say something about them maybe lending me money if I needed it for the house. But she and Rich have the kids to worry about as well as their own home down in Devon, which has definitely seen better days, so it’s not something I really want to take her up on.’

  ‘Your problem is you never put yourself first, Bellster. If Cosette is offering this chance, then you should take it. She and Rich are smart people and aren’t going to put themselves in financial jeopardy in order to help, much as they love you.’ Seeing Bell look less than convinced, she tried a different tack. ‘At least there’s one positive thing to come out of all this.’

  ‘What’s that then?’ asked Bell, closing the calculator app she’d been tapping away on.

  ‘Well, you can make Colin take away that awful faux-leather sofa he insisted on you having in your living room. The number of times you’ve told me how much you hate that sofa!’

  ‘Oh my god, you’re right!’ cried Bell, more animated than she’d been all evening. ‘It’s been there so long now that I barely even see it when I’m in the living room, but it is totally hideous. Think of all the gorgeous sofas I could buy to put in its place. Well, that’s if I had any money, obviously.’

  ‘I’m going to say this one more time,’ Suze said firmly. ‘Call Cosette and talk to her about her offer. You can have legal documents drawn up and everything if you’re worried about paying her interest and doing it all properly.’

  Bell sighed. Suze’s phone lit up on the table and showed Ellie was trying to FaceTime her.

  ‘Look, I’ll get on home and leave you to it. Thanks so much for dinner, Suze, and all your life-coaching. Again. Say hi to Ellie from me. See you tomorrow.’

  Bell was out the door before Suze could even open her mouth. She loved her friend and she knew Suze loved her, but she also knew that she’d asked a lot of her these last few months, taking her away from Ellie, and she needed to make sure she invested enough time in her own relationship.

  When Bell arrived home, she walked into the living room, threw her coat and bag on the floor and stretched her arms above her head. In her peripheral vision, she caught a glimpse of brown faux leather and shuddered. She picked up her phone, wandered into the kitchen and pressed ‘call’.

  ‘Hi, Cosette, it’s me.’

  Chapter Ten

  Millie

  ‘Mummy, Mummy, me and Daddy went to this place and there was a massive pool and Daddy put some blow-up things on my arms and I floated around and it was brilliant!’ Wolf cried as Millie opened the front door to him and Louis early one Sunday evening after he’d spent the weekend with his dad.

  ‘That sounds amazing, Wolf. Did you like being in the water? Because I know how you can sometimes feel about bathtime.’

  ‘It’s different from a bath, silly!’ he replied scornfully. ‘It’s a big pool and there were loads of flamingos and unicorns in the water and Daddy lifted me up to sit on them and I flew around. It was ace!’

  Louis grinned. ‘I think he’d really love swimming lessons. Maybe you could take him to the local leisure centre to learn? In fact, I’ll give you the money now,’ he said, thrusting some notes at her.

  ‘Yes, I don’t see why not, I’m sure there must be a council pool round here. I’m just surprised – he can be a bit scared of water sometimes,’ Millie half-whispered over their son’s head.

  ‘No, you weren’t scared, were you, Wolfie! That’s my boy! Right, I’d better be getting back, but let me know when you manage to book those lessons. Come and say goodbye to your old man, Wolf Cub.’

  When Millie was putting a still overexcited Wolf to bed a few hours later she asked, as casually as she could, ‘So you enjoyed playing in the pool with the blow-up flamingos yesterday? You weren’t a bit worried about the water? Because you know it’s totally okay to be a bit scared of things sometimes.’

  Wolf looked at her for a few moments and then lowered his eyes. ‘I was maybe a little bit scared at first but then Daddy said that it’s not a good idea to show you’re frightened and you have to pretend you’re not. And then he put me on the unicorn and I liked splashing the water with my feet.’

  ‘Well, I know Daddy said that,’ Millie began, choosing her words carefully. ‘But it doesn’t mean you can’t tell Mummy, or your teacher if you’re at school, that you’re scared about something, all right? We all get frightened sometimes, even me, even Daddy!’

  ‘I don’t think Daddy gets scared!’ Wolf laughed. ‘He’s never scared when he’s on the pitch and scoring goals, and I want to be like him when I grow up.’

  ‘You’re right, Wolfie, he isn’t scared on the pitch anymore, but when he was younger, I think he was definitely a bit scared. And that’s okay. Listen, I want you to promise to tell me whenever you’re feeling scared and I will take the scariness away, okay? Pinky promise?’

  ‘Pinky promise, Mummy.’ Wolfie linked his little finger with hers and she gave him a hug.

  The next morning, before he’d even tried his luck asking for chocolate cereal, Wolf announced, ‘I think I really want to have swimming lessons, please, Mummy. And then I can go to Daddy’s pool in his friend’s house and go on the unicorn again.’

  ‘Okay, let me see what I can do, Wolfie.’ Millie smiled at her son.

  After searching online she found the community centre twenty minutes’ walk away had a pool, so she wasted no time in calling up that morning to enquire about lessons.

  ‘You’re in luck!’ the jolly man on the other end of the phone said. ‘We’ve just had a cancellation for the new term’s beginners’ class. Bloody cheek cancelling at this point, let me say, but in this case it all works out well. The classes are at five pm every Wednesday and term starts the day after tomorrow. Is that okay?’

  ‘Brilliant, thanks so much!’ she replied, feeling very pleased with herself that she’d be able to message Louis so soon to tell him she’d sorted the lessons.

  *

  Wolf was fizzing with excitement on Wednesday after leaving school and having ‘swimming tea’. This was much like any other dinner except Millie had decided she didn’t have time to cook and get him to his lesson on time without the threat of him being sick in the pool, so the meal consisted of pitta bread, ham, houmous and a selection of Wolf’s favourite veggies, cut into strips, all of which she’d prepared before pick-up.

  ‘I like swimming tea,’ Wolf informed her through a mouthful of raw carrot.

  ‘Good, and I like little boys who sit properly at the table and don’t speak with their mouth full,’ she said, sounding almost exactly like her own mother had nearly thirty years before.

  They arrived at the community centre with time to spare, which gave Millie a chance to have a quick look round. ‘I can’t believe we live less than twenty minutes down the road and have never been here before!’ She beamed at the lady at reception. ‘We’re here for my son’s swimming lesson.’

  ‘Great, let me tick his name off the list,’ the woman said pleasantly. ‘Right, you can get to the changing rooms by going down this corridor and out of the door at the end and you’ll find them
in the building just on your right. Then if you go back outside and wait on the poolside, Wolf’s teacher will be there to take a register.’

  ‘Okay, great,’ Millie said. ‘Though, how do you get to the pool from the changing rooms once you’re back outside?’

  ‘Sorry? You can’t miss it. The pool is literally right there.’

  ‘But inside another building?’ Millie asked, confused.

  ‘Well, no, it’s an outdoor pool! Sorry, didn’t you know?’ The woman looked worried. Although not as worried as Millie.

  ‘Erm, no, I didn’t, but great, thank you,’ she said brightly. ‘Come on, Wolf, let’s get you changed.’

  Unfortunately, Millie had dressed for the sweltering air of the leisure centres she remembered from her youth and not the actual outdoors, and the moment she stepped outside, the outdoors began to make itself known. The heavens had well and truly opened and she and Wolf made a run for it to the changing rooms. Once inside, things weren’t much better, as the floor was a mass of puddles and broken tiles and the building smelled of a mixture of chlorine, urine and harried parents.

  ‘Here you go, Wolf,’ she said, handing him his Peppa Pig bag. ‘I’ll blow up your armbands while you get your trunks on.’

  Once he was ready she led him gingerly across the tiles towards the door.

  ‘Ready, darling?’

  ‘I think so,’ Wolf gulped.

  Thankfully, the rain had eased off to a miserable drizzle, and she was able to hand Wolf over to the teacher without looking like she’d taken a dip in the pool herself.

  ‘Excellent. Welcome, Wolf, I’m Miss Jones,’ the teacher said bracingly. ‘Mum, you can watch from under that shelter there.’

  Millie breathed a sigh of relief and sidled off to the little covered seating area the teacher had pointed out. Wolfie looked so small and vulnerable standing on the side of the pool next to the other kids. There were a few boys who were at least a head taller than him, but she noticed there were also a handful of little girls and one other boy who looked even younger – and more scared – than Wolf. It was clear the teachers knew what they were doing, though, as by the end of the half-hour lesson, even that scared little boy was splashing around happily in the shallow end with his armbands on.

  ‘Okay, class, everyone out up the steps, please,’ Miss Jones called. ‘Well done, what a brilliant lesson! I think we’ll have you all swimming like fishes in double-quick time. Right, off you go and I’ll see you next week.’

  ‘That was ace, Mummy!’ Wolfie said, giving her a wet, chloriney hug. ‘Did you see me be a fish? Miss Jones said I did really well kicking my legs; did you see?’

  ‘I did, Wolfie, and you were brilliant! Now, let’s get you dressed before the rain really starts up again and we both have to swim home!’

  ‘Ooh, do you think we might have to swim home? I’d be able to practise my kicking then, wouldn’t I?’

  ‘No, darling, I’m sure it will be fine.’

  ‘But, Mummy, you said—’

  ‘I know, Wolfie, but let’s concentrate on getting you dressed for now, okay?’

  Ten minutes later, they were both rather damp but all their clothing was in the right place. ‘Just let me fish my keys out of my bag and then we can go,’ Millie said.

  ‘Fish? Mummy, have you got fishes in your bag?’

  ‘Hold on, Wolf, I need to just—’

  ‘Fishes in the water, fishes in the sea, we all jump up with a one, two, THREE!’

  ‘Wolf, shush a minute, I can’t hear myself think.’

  ‘I never hear myself think. Mummy, do you always hear yourself think? Am I doing it wrong?’ replied Wolf, puzzled.

  ‘WOLF! Just be quiet a minute. I can’t find my keys.’

  ‘Did you have them when you left the house, Mummy?’

  ‘Wolf!’

  ‘But that’s what you always say to me when I’ve lost something. You always ask me when I last had it and where I put it.’

  ‘I don’t know, Wolf, I thought I’d picked them up on the way out, but they’re not in my bag. Damn! And I can’t remember if it was this week or next that Bridget said she was away.’

  ‘What’s Bridget got to do with it? She smells of talcum powder.’ Wolf began kicking the tiles with his wet shoes.

  ‘Stop that. Bridget has the spare key and if she’s away I’m not quite sure what we’ll do. But don’t worry,’ she added, seeing the five-year-old’s smile begin to waver. ‘Let’s go back home now and see if Bridget is in. But we need to make sure we don’t do any dawdling, Wolf, okay?’

  ‘Yes, Mummy.’ Wolf skipped to the door, almost tripping over a broken tile.

  ‘Let’s go round this way,’ Millie instructed. She walked behind the pool and towards the main road, with Wolf trotting along to keep up with her. As they turned the corner, they walked straight into a woman carrying a large camera bag on one shoulder and rootling around in the handbag she had on her other arm.

  ‘Oh, god, sorry,’ she said. ‘I was just looking for my umbrella and didn’t see you there. Let me help you pick up those bags. Is this yours?’ she asked Wolf with a smile. ‘My niece used to love Peppa Pig, too.’

  ‘Yes, thank you. Peppa’s on my swimming bag,’ Wolf said, displaying his damp bag for her to see. Meanwhile, the rain had ramped up again and Millie, who hadn’t remembered to pick up her umbrella – or it seemed her keys – was getting wet.

  ‘Come on, Wolfie, we’re late and we’re getting soaked,’ she said taking his wrist and walking towards the road. ‘We need to visit Bridget, remember.’

  ‘The lady liked my Peppa bag,’ Wolf said proudly.

  ‘She did, yes, now you’ll need to walk a bit faster than that, come on.’

  By the time they arrived at Bridget’s they were well and truly wet through, but at least Millie could hear footsteps when she rang the doorbell.

  ‘Bridget! Thank god you’re in. Would I be able to get the spare key, please, I seem to have left mine at home.’

  ‘Oh, lovey, look at you both, you’re wringing wet. Come in, come in and dry off a bit while I find that key for you. Philip, look who’s here, it’s Amanda and the wee bairn.’

  Thankfully, Bridget located the key pretty quickly, so Millie and an uncharacteristically quiet Wolf were able to go home.

  ‘Thanks, Bridget, you’re a lifesaver. Again! I’d better get Wolfie here home as he looks dead on his feet.’

  ‘I’m not dead!’ Wolf protested.

  Bridget chuckled. ‘Off you go, lovey, and make sure the wee boy has some hot milk to warm him up before bed, won’t you.’

  Millie shot her son a warning look. ‘I will, Bridget, don’t worry. See you soon, bye.’

  ‘But, Mummy, I’m a big boy now and I don’t have hot milk – or cold milk – before bed,’ Wolf said to her as they reached their own front door.

  ‘I know, darling, but Bridget was just being kind. Now, let’s get you into your pyjamas. You can watch an episode of Dino Hunt before bed as a special treat if you promise to sit quietly.’

  Millie breathed a long sigh of relief once Wolf was asleep, she’d located her missing keys and had stood under a hot shower to warm up her numb feet. Tonight was definitely a large glass of wine kind of night, she decided. Armed with a tumbler of Merlot (she couldn’t even be bothered to reach into the top cupboard for a wine glass and settled for one of the non-breakable Wolfie-proof melamine beakers she always kept close at hand), she picked up her phone and opened her Photos app. In a gap between the raindrops, she’d somehow managed to snap an image of Wolf kicking his legs in glee while holding on to the side of the pool. And while the sky was almost charcoal in colour and the water a dull grey, once she’d got to work with Photoshop, she was able to create a decent-looking image for Instagram. She sat back to admire her handiwork and took a long sip of wine, then posted the picture and a short caption on to her feed. If Louis was looking, he was definitely going to be impressed with her ability to sort out swimming lessons for Wolf in
such a beautiful environment! It wasn’t just professional footballers who could live the luxury life, she mused. Well, the appearance of a luxury life, at least.

  Chapter Eleven

  Bell

  Bell walked round the outside of the community centre, clutching her umbrella once she’d managed to find it at the bottom of her bag, her stomach a washing machine of anxiety as her new camera Rich had couriered over banged against her hip in its bag. A few hours earlier she’d confessed to Suze how nervous she was.

  ‘It feels like that first day of uni all over again,’ she’d said. ‘I’ve got weird butterflies about whether any of the other people in the class will like me and whether I’ll like any of them. I’ve no idea what to expect. All the bumpf the community centre gave me just says they welcome all ages and backgrounds, so they could all be eighty years old and trying to use the 35mm cameras they were given for their birthdays in 1992.’

  ‘They could all be eighty years old and trying to use the iPads and top-of-the-range photo lenses they bought with their own money last week,’ Suze had pointed out. ‘Or, they could be people just like you who want to understand the basics of how to take a good picture. You need to relax, Bellster. Plus, you never know, you might meet the man of your dreams and swan off into the sunset together – though not until you’ve taken a picture of it, obvs.’

  ‘Suze, I’m going to say this one more time: I split up with the man I’d been with for ten years less than three months ago. I’m much more interested in making some new friends than boyfriends.’

  ‘Am I not enough for you?’ Suze had asked, all mock hurt.

  ‘You’re enough for anyone, frankly! But I’m being serious. I don’t have many other people in my life I can truly call a friend. Plus, you have Ellie – and, no, of course that doesn’t stop us being brilliant mates, but you need to make sure you’re spending enough time with her and not just trying to look after me and my broken heart.’ She’d smiled sadly, then rocked her shoulders back and sat up straighter. ‘How often as grown-ups do we get the opportunity to make a whole new group of friends who live in the same area? The only comparison I can think of is an NCT group like Cosette joined. And for obvious reasons, I wouldn’t have much in common with a group of pregnant women and their partners talking about water births and epidurals, so it’s important I make a good impression on my classmates tonight.’