Living My Best Life

by Claire Frost

  Millie quickly got dressed and dropped back with the staff all the clothes she’d been trying on and photographing. She knew she needed to calm down before calling Louis, so she grabbed a takeaway coffee and walked all the way home to try to get her thoughts in order. Finally, she had enough endorphins from the brisk walk and caffeine from the drink in her system to make the call.

  ‘He’d better bloody pick up,’ she muttered to herself. Thankfully he did.

  ‘Mills, how are you?’ he asked, all bonhomie and smiles.

  ‘Good, thanks, Louis. You?’

  ‘Excellent, thanks. Guess what? Just had my medical and the doc says I’m match fit again. The gaffer said I might even make the starting line-up on Sunday. Cool or what!’

  ‘That’s great, I’m really pleased for you,’ Millie said, actually meaning it. She knew from experience how miserable Louis got when he wasn’t able to play regularly. ‘And Wolf will be excited to see you play again.’

  ‘He’s turning into a pretty good player himself, you know. We need to sort him joining a local team – those tinpot games he plays at school aren’t enough. No, he needs to be playing proper games against the big boys so he starts to toughen up.’

  Millie could tell when Louis was about to go on a rant and so headed it off at the pass immediately. ‘It’s Wolf I’m actually calling about. Apparently he’s misbehaving at school and the head has called us in for a meeting. Can you make Thursday afternoon?’

  ‘My Wolf Cub misbehaving? I don’t think so!’ he retorted, his voice rising. ‘Did you tell them they must have got it wrong?’

  ‘Well, no, I don’t know the situation, do I? But I think we should go in to see the head as she’s asked and hopefully we can sort it out.’

  ‘You don’t know the situation about your own son?! For god’s sake, Millie! I can’t believe you didn’t stand up for poor Wolf. I think we need to look into him moving schools. There are plenty of great private ones round here.’

  ‘Calm down, Louis, the school is a good one, we both agreed on that, didn’t we? Let’s just see what the head has to say and take it from there. And I’m sorry for not asking for more details, it was just the shock of the phone call, I think.’

  ‘I’ve a good mind to call them up now and give them a piece of my mind. But I suppose it can wait until Thursday. Fine, I’ll see you outside the gates then.’ Louis rang off and Millie took a deep, steadying, breath.

  *

  As she and Wolf made their way to the community centre on Saturday, he chatted away about how his dad was going to score at least two goals during his comeback match the next day. Millie nodded and agreed in the right places, but inside she was seething with resentment that Louis had been able to muscle in on Thursday, fill his son’s head with exciting talk of football and then scarper, while she had to deal with the fallout from the meeting with the head. Still, at least Wolf had a smile on his face for the first time in days.

  ‘Mummy, look, there’s Bell in the deep end!’ he cried, pulling on her arm as they headed towards the changing room. Millie turned to look and raised her arm to her new friend, thankful to see her beaming face.

  Millie still wasn’t brave enough to swim herself, but she was happy to watch Wolf splashing around in his armbands. ‘Come on, Wolf, show me how many strokes you can do and see if you can beat the eight you did in your lesson this week,’ she said from the side of the pool. ‘Well done! That’s brilliant, keep going!’

  At that moment, Bell swam over.

  ‘Look, I’m swimming, Bell Bell!’ shouted Wolf, before swallowing a huge mouthful of water and having to be helped to the side by Bell as he began coughing.

  ‘I think it might be time for drinks and some of those delicious cookies they sell in the café,’ Bell smiled, once Wolf had stopped spluttering.

  ‘My throat hurts,’ he said, rubbing his neck. ‘I think I might need hot chocolate,’ he added, turning to Millie with his chocolate-brown eyes wide. ‘And probably marshmallows too.’

  ‘Don’t push your luck, kiddo,’ Millie smiled, throwing his towel around his shoulders and giving him a gentle push towards the changing room. ‘We’ll see you in the café when you’re ready, Bell.’

  Once Wolf’s throat was made better by a hot chocolate and the grown-ups were on to their second coffee, Millie tried to encourage Wolf to go and play so she could talk to Bell – she was desperate to tell her what had happened at the school that week. But Wolf was far more interested in chatting to Bell about how he was going to be a deep-sea diver when he grew up.

  ‘I think cos I’m really good at swimming I want to do a job in the water with the fishes and I could spend all my days diving down to the bottom of the sea with my friends like in Finding Nemo. And maybe even playing with the sharks, cos I’m really brave, aren’t I, Mummy? But only if I can’t be a footballer like my daddy.’

  ‘I’m sure you can be whatever you want to be because you are a very clever boy.’ Bell smiled at him. ‘Do you like Lego? I think I saw some in the toybox over there, why don’t you see if you can make a submarine for a diver to go down to the bottom of the sea?’

  ‘That’s a very good idea, Bell Bell,’ he replied seriously. ‘I’ll make it and then you can play diving with me, okay?’

  ‘Okay, sweetheart, it’s a deal.’

  ‘Thank god for that!’ Millie said, leaning back in her chair to see Wolf sorting through piles of Lego in the play area behind her. ‘Clever thinking, Bell, I thought he’d never leave us in peace!’

  ‘Lego is always a winner for keeping them quiet for a bit – well, it’s always worked with my niece and nephew, until they start pushing bits up their noses or arguing about one of them stealing the other’s pieces, at any rate.’

  ‘Ha! Thankfully, being an only child, he doesn’t have to worry so much about sharing. Only there are lots of other worries.’

  ‘Tough week?’

  ‘You could say that. We were summoned to see the headteacher.’

  ‘Millie, have you been fighting in the playground again?!’

  ‘On this occasion it was Wolfie’s behaviour that has been giving the school “cause for concern”, so they told us.’

  ‘But he’s such a sweet boy, I can’t imagine him being naughty in class.’

  ‘I know, but he can also be a little horror like all kids, believe me. Although the way the head spoke to me made me want to start misbehaving, too!’

  ‘Why, what happened?’ Bell asked.

  ‘Well, it didn’t help that Louis said to meet him outside, so I waited for ten minutes and when he didn’t appear I went in to ask for the head myself and it turned out he was already there sipping tea, making himself at home in her office.’

  ‘Grr, so annoying,’ Bell sympathised. ‘I bet you were already stressed and then being late put you on the back foot.’

  ‘Exactly!’ Millie nodded. ‘Straight away I looked like a bad parent. And, of course, Louis had managed to charm the head in five minutes flat so she was practically licking his arse by the time I arrived.’ Seeing Bell’s face screw up, she added, ‘I know, I hate that phrase too, sorry, but it was annoying the way he totally had her round his little finger. And then when she talked to us about Wolf cheeking his teacher and lashing out at another boy in his class, it was all directed at me. King Louis just sat there like butter wouldn’t melt and let me take all the flak for our son’s behaviour. Then right at the end he cut across what I was saying and said, “Don’t worry, Mrs Spencer, I’ll make sure I talk to Wolfie and I’m sure he won’t do it again,” and she actually simpered at him and told him the school would do anything they could and she was sure it was just a blip. Seriously, it was like she’d never seen a good-looking footballer before and she was practically salivating all over him at this point. She only remembered I was in the room when I stood up to leave. It was so humiliating.’

  ‘That’s awful, Millie, poor you. And poor Wolf, there’s obviously something making him unhappy. Did you or Louis man
age to find out what it was?’

  ‘Louis’ idea of dealing with it was to treat him to pizza and not mention it at all. Then he went home and left me to talk to him, obviously. And Wolf wouldn’t really tell me anything. You’re right, there’s definitely something going on and I have my suspicions it’s to do with the boy he punched on the arm. I think Zach’s bullying him, not that Wolf would say much, but he’s mentioned before that Zach had been nasty to him.’

  ‘Is it worth talking to the school about this Zach? Not to the head maybe, but what about Wolf’s teacher?’

  ‘And say what? It’s all just me surmising rather than having any proof.’

  ‘True. How’s Wolf been since then?’

  ‘Okay. I gave him another talk about telling me or the teacher if people were mean to him and told him off for being rude to the teacher, but I didn’t want to be too hard on him, especially if this Zach is already making him upset. I’m just going to have to keep a close eye on him over the next few weeks. Louis is obsessed with him joining a local football club so he can play against older kids and, in Louis’ words, “toughen up a bit”. Though I’m not sure him getting the shit kicked out of him every week is the answer.’

  ‘What does getting the shit kicked out of you mean?’ Wolf asked, appearing behind her with handfuls of Lego.

  ‘Nothing, Wolf, nothing at all!’ Millie said quickly. ‘Ooh, your submarine is looking good. Do you need some help finishing it off?’

  *

  The next few weeks passed by in a blur of school pickups and drop-offs, copywriting jobs from the agency and snatched conversations with Bell over coffee at the community centre. Their Saturday afternoons together had quickly become the highlight of her week; she looked forward to having Bell’s measured and calm advice about her problems, and she loved hearing nuggets about Bell’s job and all the characters in her photography class. She even found herself giving her friend advice when it came to her relationship with Colin, who was still dragging his feet over the price of their house. She was even more excited about the coming weekend as it was Louis’ turn to have Wolf and she and Bell had planned a girlie afternoon of shopping followed by dinner and drinks in town.

  ‘You can give me some selfie tips in the changing rooms,’ Bell had laughed.

  ‘It’s easy – use the dimmer switch in the changing room, hold your phone up high and then take at least twenty shots. One of them is bound to be okay once you’ve added some filters and Facetuning!’

  And Wolfie was just as excited about the weekend, although he was sad not to be seeing Bell.

  ‘Daddy says I can come on the coach with him and the whole team to the ground on Saturday,’ he informed Millie after chatting to Louis the previous weekend. ‘And at the end of the match, he’s going to get me from the stand with Grandma and Grandad and put me on his shoulders and run round the pitch. It’s going to be awesome! I wish you and Bell Bell could see me, Mummy.’

  ‘That sounds very exciting, Wolf. Make sure Grandma takes some photos of you and we can show them to Bell too.’

  However, both Wolf’s and Millie’s excitement was brought to a crushing standstill two days later when Louis texted just as Millie was rushing to get Wolf out of the door in his wellies and raincoat and into the torrential rain that was about to soak them both.

  I need to swap weekends so I’ll take Wolf next Sat instead. Can you let him know? Thks, L

  ‘You have got to be fu—flipping kidding.’

  ‘What’s wrong, Mummy? It’s very splashy out here, isn’t it?’

  Millie continued to stare at her phone.

  ‘Mummy, aren’t we going to be late?’ Wolf asked, a touch of worry creeping into his voice because he’d told Millie he was trying very hard to get one of Mrs Boyle’s special stickers that week.

  ‘Sorry, Wolf, yes, let’s go.’ Millie couldn’t bear to burst his excited bubble as he babbled on about diving into deep puddles in his pretend submarine and how he was going to tell his daddy all about wanting to be a diver as well as a footballer. Though she knew she would have to break the news to him after school.

  Later, whenever she allowed her mind to wander from the newsletter she was writing for the agency and towards the text Louis had sent, Millie felt anger fizz up inside her. How dare he just drop his son like that, without any explanation or even apology! She still hadn’t messaged him back as she was waiting for her rage to die down a little in case she typed something she later regretted. But she couldn’t imagine when that might be.

  She got up from the table where she’d been working and stretched her crunched-up limbs, then made a cup of coffee and a decision. Sipping the scalding liquid, she pulled her phone from her pocket and fired off a quick text to her dad asking how he and Jean were, before furiously typing a not-nearly-so friendly message to Louis.

  Thank for your message, Louis. I’ll call you at 4pm this afternoon so you can explain to Wolf yourself about this weekend. Please make sure you answer when I call. M

  Millie knew Louis would be furious she was passing the responsibility back to him, but she also knew that she would have the job of comforting Wolfie later when he’d stopped trying to be brave for his dad and started crying tears of confusion that only his dad could really stem. Louis didn’t deign to reply to her message, so Millie just had to hope she wasn’t mad for crediting him with a small amount of decency.

  ‘Wolf, can you come into the kitchen for me a minute,’ she called to her son that afternoon after school.

  ‘I’m just making a submarine to show Daddy, but I don’t have enough Lego,’ he complained. ‘Can I borrow some from the swimming pool next time?’

  ‘No, I’m afraid not, darling, as otherwise all the other boys and girls won’t have any to play with there, will they? Maybe if you’re a really good boy we can think about buying you some more for your birthday.’ Millie was well aware how much the bricks cost and unless she found a load on eBay there was no way she’d be able to afford more than a small set for his present, but just now she had bigger worries. ‘Do you want to speak to Daddy? I’m just FaceTiming him now.’

  ‘But I’ll see him tomorrow. Can’t I talk to him then? I’m busy.’

  ‘I think he’d like to speak to you now, darling. You can even press the button. Look, there you go, say hello to Daddy.’

  ‘Hello, Daddy, I’m making a submarine so my diver figure can sit in it and go down to the bottom of the sea and swim with all the whales and fishes and even sharks. You have to be careful that the sharks aren’t going to eat you but I’ll kick them really hard in the face if they try to bite my legs off cos I’m really good at swimming now and—’

  ‘Wolf Cub! How are you?’ Louis cut in. ‘Look, son, I’ve got a bit of bad news. I can’t make this weekend now, so we’ll have to swap it to next week. Sorry, mate, but you know how it is.’

  Millie watched Wolf’s expression turn from excited to confused to devastated like a character out of a cartoon. Except this was real.

  ‘But Daddy, you’re going to carry me on your shoulders on the pitch! I’ve told Eva and everyone at school and they’re all going to watch the TV and see me be famous. You p-promised.’ His eyes began to fill up and Millie longed to go and comfort him, but knew she needed to let Louis see what he’d done.

  ‘Chin up, mate, it can’t be helped and we’ll do it another time, I promise. And then you can show me the boat you’re making.’

  ‘It’s a submarine, stupid!’ Wolf shouted and ran out of the room.

  Millie picked up her phone from where it was leaning against a book on the table.

  ‘I hope you’re happy now,’ she hissed into the screen.

  ‘That wasn’t fair, Millie, you could have told him yourself and not made such a song and dance over it. You’re such a bitch sometimes,’ Louis snarled.

  ‘Excuse me? I have to go and comfort our son who’s crying into his pillow because of you and you’re calling me a bitch?’

  ‘You’re not fit to be
a mother, letting him get upset like that,’ he spat back and ended the call.

  Millie turned her phone face down on the table and trudged upstairs to comfort her distraught son.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Bell

  Bell was both excited and apprehensive about the photo shoot Ade had invited her and Ben to. She might have felt at home popping along to Style It Out’s lookbook shoots, but an afternoon helping out on set for a well-known perfume brand was something else entirely.

  ‘You decided to go full-on fashion-forward then,’ she joked when she met Ben outside the studio, his jacket open to reveal slim-fit jeans and a plain T-shirt.

  ‘My camo peg-leg trousers are in the wash,’ he replied, leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek as well as a hug. ‘Although, don’t tell anyone but I have no idea what any of those words actually mean – I speed-read GQ on my way here so I would sound more knowledgeable.’

  ‘Well, now you can talk the talk, let’s walk the walk, or whatever that stupid phrase is,’ Bell laughed nervously.

  They both took a deep breath and made their way inside. Immediately their ears were assaulted by a cacophony of hundreds of voices barking orders at each other. The pair of them cowered in the doorway as bodies pelted in different directions around them, some carrying lighting umbrellas, others heaving massive dark boxes, and all of them in a hurry. Bell had to fight a huge urge to turn round and run away, but then she felt Ben’s hand squeeze hers lightly and she gathered herself together. She waited until the youngest and most junior-looking person came past them and quickly stuck her hand out and stepped in front of her.

  ‘Excuse me, do you know where Ade is?’ she asked.

  ‘With the creative director over there, I think,’ she replied, waving her arm vaguely and barely breaking step.

  ‘Erm, where do you m—. Oh.’ Bell broke off as she realised she was talking to thin air. ‘Okay, well, I guess we should head over there somewhere,’ she said to Ben.