Danny's Mind: A Tale of Teenage Mysticism and Heavenly Power

by James T. Bailie

  Chapter 16

   

  A Goth girl, dressed in black with raincloud make-up, came up to me after the sermon and asked if headlessness could help her with her problems. I said, “What are your problems?”

  She said: “I’m bored.”

  I said: “If you can notice you’re bored, then boredom is outside you, and You are not Bored. It’s something you’re aware of. Carefully now—sink into that with headless awareness.”

  She said: “And I’m angry.”

  I said: “No difference. If you can notice the anger, then the anger is outside of you, not part of you. You can’t be angry. Just watch it from headless awareness.”

  Back and forth we went, through body and feelings, thoughts and personality—peeling upon peeling, all in search of the un-centered awareness.

  Then suddenly she said: “Ahhhh… I see it now.”

  And then I noticed something: “Wow! Is that a stud in your tongue?”

   

  - From His Recorded Words

   

  “Oh my, God! Did someone hit you with a sledgehammer?”

  “Calm down, Nurse Malkin. I just fell down some stairs. You got some aspirin?”

  It was 11:30 am the next day. After skipping morning classes, I went directly to the nurse’s office in the school’s admin unit for whatever medication I could get. She had a good sized mirror on one wall and I saw myself for the first time since the beating. My face was bruised and cut up. My chin was missing a chunk where it had hit the sidewalk. There were a couple walnut-sized bumps on my head. It could have been much worse. I’d been lucky. A minute after Tim and his crew tackled me onto the ground, Jerry Brunner and the other bar-flies came running out of  Hambones and chased them off. The old guys helped me walk home, and I downed a few shots of Dad’s whiskey and threw myself into bed. I could tell nothing was broken, and the scrapes and bruises were just inconveniences to me, but the bumps in my skull were producing of a devastating headache. The nurse felt a big one and said she thought I should go to the hospital. I lied and said I would, but did she have any aspirin for right now. She handed me one of those small give-away bottles, said: “No more than four at a time.”

   “Joe, you didn’t fall down any stairs. Who did this to you?”

  I shrugged my shoulders.

  “Not going to tell me?”

  I shook my head. I never tell on people as a rule—but especially not if I’m planning revenge. Nurse Malkin continued to mop up my cuts with alcohol swipes, sometimes not too gently—“Ouch!” and then Danny’s head passed by the window in the door.

  “Hey, Danny!” I shouted, figuring someone had seen me come into the nurse’s office and told him. But he must not have heard me since he didn’t come back. “Hey, Danny! In here.”

  Nurse Malkin said, “Joe, he’s not here to see you.”

  “No?”

  She shook her head. “You didn’t hear it from me, but…” And she explained that he was here to talk to Principal Steele. Apparently some people were getting pretty riled up over the whole craze about Danny’s Way, especially after yesterday’s brawl on the hill—and especially Tim Hanson’s parents, who carry a lot of clout since, as nurse Malkin said with sarcasm, “ they’re such richy-rich pillars in the community.” 

  “It was Tim started the fighting.” (And soon would pay for it, I thought.) “As for the other stuff, Danny doesn’t mean any harm with the things he’s saying. The guy died for a while for Christ’s sake. People are bound to be curious. They’re asking him questions. He’s answering.”

  “I understand, Joe,” she said. “I’m sure it’s all very interesting and a very beautiful philosophy he’s preaching, but you know high school is for elbow grease, getting good grades, and getting into college. Some pretty influential people are getting worried about their kids getting distracted.” 

  “Nurse Malken. That’s not his point. Danny isn’t suggesting that people let anything slide. He’s saying when you infuse those daily activities with this inner energy, you actually connect better, you do everything much, much better.” She stared at me a moment, her jaw unhinged. I understood, “Yeah, I’m getting into it a little myself.”

  She finished up my face with a couple little bandages to my forehead.

  “Hey,” I said, glancing out the window, “can I just hang here for a few minutes and wait for Danny?”

  She said okay.

  I drank a glass of water and popped five or six of the aspirin while she wasn’t looking. I always take more medicine than they say to. About ten minutes later, the principal’s door opened and Danny come out. I met him outside.

  Even though I’d cleaned up my face pretty good in Nurse Malkin’s office, Danny appeared concerned when he saw me. But I wasn’t going to let him. “Danny, don’t ask. Some problems at home with Dad. I took a few bucks from his wallet. He caught me. Don’t worry about it. What are you doing in the principal’s office?”

  “I’ve been told I have to stop the talks”.

  “What?”

  “Some people are telling their parents I think I’m Jesus.” 

  “Oh. Are you?”

  “No, of course not. Have I been saying that?”

  “Hell no, but some kids are getting pretty caught up and they might be getting some weird ideas.”

  “He told me he’d received a letter signed by the YES kids this morning asking him to put a stop to the gatherings. The letter calls me ‘sacrilegious’. They really called me that.”

  “That’s a lie. Did Steve sign it?”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t get to see the letter.”

  “Well, you knew some kids wouldn’t get it. But that’s okay. So they won’t come anymore and you’ll set things straight with everyone else so there are no more crazy Jesus accusations.”

  “I suggested that to Principal Steele. He didn’t care. He said, ‘No more talks.’”

  “Screw ‘em. As long as we’re off grounds we’re fine.”

  “He told me I couldn’t do that either because of the parents who are complaining.”

  “What happens if we do it anyway?”

  “He said expulsion, and maybe legal consequences.”

  “He can’t do that. He’s bluffing.”

  “I wasn’t trying to change anyone’s beliefs, just show them something, a new way to explore.”

  “This is ridiculous. I think we should just go straight at ‘em. Keep having the talks. No fear. Conan style.”

  “I feel like I need to hurry, Joe.”

  “You know what I think, Danny. We should hold another one right away. Why wait when we’re on a roll? Michelle can arrange it somewhere after hours, and off school property.”

  “I didn’t expect any of this.”

  “If you want to keep giving your talks, we’ll do it. We’ll find a way. The other kids don’t want you to stop. All that commotion afterwards? People practically cheering in the parking lot? And think about it—if someone as dense as me is starting to get it, it’s got to be worth spreading.”

   “I don’t think it’s my call anymore, Joe.”

  “Trust me, Danny. More importantly, trust Michelle. She’s a real organizer. You do the teaching. Let her handle the set up. You think rock stars schedule their own concerts?”

  “Michelle,” he said. “My agent?”

  “Yeah, that’s right. Your agent. You and Michelle can make it so big so fast no one will be able to stop it. Momentum, Danny. Nationwide. That’s your ticket.” I laughed, but I was also sort of serious.

  “Now you’re talking crazy.”

  “You never know, little buddy. But listen up. Because now I’m not talking crazy.” I grabbed his shoulders. “You took a risk with Tim Hanson the other day. And I don’t think you’re seeing how dangerous he is. He’s crazy. I know that for sure now. I don’t think he has much left to lose anymore, and he’ll do anything. I think you’re safe in crowds, but if you’re alone, and you see him or any of
his friends, you get away fast. Got me? I’m going to try and fix things. But in the meantime, stay away.”

  “Okay,” he said. Then, “Where’d you really get these cuts and bruises?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it. You know my dad. Sometimes it gets rough.”

  He peered into me, and said, “Okay. I understand, Joe. I’ll be careful.”

  He left to go outside and walk around the grounds and talk into his little recorder. He’d been doing that a lot recently. I’m sure he had a lot going through that inspired mind of his.

  But I had lied. I was worried as hell about Principal Steele’s threats. I’ve been involved with legal actions before when my dad was brought to court by some city social worker because they thought he was neglecting me. It caused Dad and me a lot of grief for a long time. There were twenty minutes left in lunch hour and I had to find Michelle. I needed help now.

  “Oh, no,” Michelle said when I told her. Her discussion with Principal Steele the other day had been a disaster. He was mad as hell at the complaints he was getting, and he was furious over the sermon on the hockey boards and the whole Tim incident—the “melee”, as he called it. She grabbed my hand and dragged me along. “Where are we going?”

  “Mr. Tan.”

  I hurried with her.

  We caught him in his office taping some pictures around a pyramid he’d drawn on the board—a picture of a Thanksgiving meal, a picture of a house and car, a church, a classroom full of kids, and the now-famous stick-figure of headless mind. He was excited and, while he worked on his board, he talked rapid-fire at us: “Hi guys, we’re going to try a new and improved Maslow’s ‘Hierarchy of Needs’ this week. I’m working in some of Danny’s Heavenly Mind concepts. I’m going to show the stages that might exist beyond self actualization, which, you know, is still a Head Mind concept. Of course, I can’t use terms like heavenly or headlessness. There are rumors it’s getting to be a touchy topic with administration.”

  “Mr. Tan,” Michelle interrupted, frantic. “That’s why we’re here.” She explained what had just happened with Danny and Principle Steele.

  He listened patiently, but his was forehead creased and un-creased the whole time. I was mumbling comments like, “He can’t get away with this”, “This isn’t right”, “He can’t stop us.”

  “Settle down now, Joe,” Mr. Tan finally said.

  “Why should I?”

  “Because you’re getting out of control, and you look like you’re getting into some other trouble as well.” He pointed at my damaged face. “So cool down. I’ll talk to Principal Steele myself.”

  “What can you tell him?” Michelle asked.

  “I’ll tell him what I’ve seen from a purely professional perspective. I’ve been studying a lot about the transformative affects of NDE experiences and some of the research into expanded states of consciousness. It’s not unique to Danny. But he is expressing it in a unique way. What I can show Steele is that much of what Danny’s talking about has scientific validity. It’s worth studying, and we shouldn’t be discouraging it. Though we may want to guide the format a little better so people don’t get the wrong ideas, which you can see, creates the potential for problems.”

  “You believe Danny?” Michelle said.

  “Do I believe, Joe?”

  “He’s a total disciple, Michelle,” I said.

  Feeling better, Michelle and I thanked Mr. Tan and went to our respective classes.

  Later that day after psychology class ended, Mr. Tan came up to me and Danny. He said he had to skip the normal after-class discussion, because he had some research to do for a meeting he’d scheduled with Principal Steele first thing the next morning.

  “You heard I’ve been banned?” Danny asked.

  He put his hand on Danny’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, young man. I believe in you and support you, and we’ll get him to believe in you and support you too. Okay?”

  Now, if a person like Mr. Tan had said that to me, I would have back-flipped. Danny said, almost indifferently: “Good luck, Mr. Tan”.