Dark Temptation

by D. S. Molinari

  “It's me who needs to understand you” Mikah muttered. “What is this sudden altruism due to?”

  “Tell me once and for all what they want from me!” Kaliel exploded. “Do you want me to be selfish? Do you want me to ignore the fact that the heavenly hosts have surrendered with her soul? I am the one who needs to understand God! I can understand why he abandoned me but why does he abandon a girl? Of what serious evil can be guilty?”

  “It’s no longer your obligation to protect her. Just forget it” Mikah suggested coldly.

  “You know... Why don’t you speak!?” Kaliel approached with indignant expression.

  “Do you think that you are the one to occupy the position of guardian angel? Don’t make me laugh…”

  “I don’t know if I’m the indicated but at least I'm the only one who is doing it”.

  “And you'll burn together in hell. That’s what you want?”

  “I assure you that at least she’ll be saved. I'll get to the bottom of this even if you don’t tell me”.

  “What about your revenge?”

  “Baaltazhar and I have all eternity...”

  Mikah made a long silence, as if considering Kaliel's words.

  “She just left” he said at last.

  Kaliel held out the arrow with his hand trembling with fury.

  “Tell me where she went” he asked Mikah, swallowing his pride.

  He rejected it with a wave of his hand.

  “Do it yourself: you can still do it” he said as he left. “God has never abandoned you”.

  “What do you think you're doing?” Ali said and cringed more, imprisoned between the wall and the hands of Larsen.

  For a moment, he remained with a lost look. His lips parted slightly, enough to let out a whisper. Then, he looked her straight in the eyes, as if he wanted to break through them with his, immobilize her, hypnotize her.

  “I've been watching you” he said by way of confession “and them too...”

  Larsen paused and took a deep breath.

  “They want to kill you”.

  “That's nothing new” Ali said sourly. “That's why I just can’t leave the cathedral... Tell me; do you know who sent the letter?”

  “It was the demon...”

  “Max” Ali said to herself. Deep down she suspected it.

  Then, Larsen barely shook her shoulders to catch her attention again.

  “Come with me. They can’t do anything to you if you are with me”.

  His concern seemed sincere. Suddenly, Chase's voice emerged from the depths of her memories: If demons are meant to tempt us, they must be very seductive, don’t you think? What if Larsen wasn’t reliable either? After all, they had only met once, although on that occasion, thinking about it better, he had also saved her. But why?

  “And why should I trust you?” she asked impulsively.

  As if he had just received a slap, Larsen pulled away and squinted. After a scathing silence, he let out a bitter half smile.

  “Do you still trust him? He not even has the courage to tell you the truth”.

  “Which truth?” Ali asked.

  A chill made her skin crawl. A bad feeling.

  “All the truth! What did he tell you? That he was an angel? And you trusted like that without any more, blindly, just because of his innocent appearance?” Larsen began to approach her again, slowly, lowering her voice to a gloomy murmur. “How do you know you can trust him? How do you know he hasn’t been cheating on you all this time? Playing the role of guardian... Seducing you with kind words... Saying what you want to hear so that at last, you are the easiest of the prisoners and walk blindly and meekly to the scaffold... He isn’t better than Darry. How do you know he isn’t going to betray you?”

  Larsen's eyes were on her, with a cold, sharp look. Ali tried to avoid it.

  “Tell me!”

  “He won’t!” She exclaimed, taking a step forward to face him. “If he wanted to, he would have done it already. What's wrong with you? Why are you telling me all this? Why should I trust you instead of trusting him?”

  Larsen blew his breath out of his chest and threw his black hair back with both hands.

  “The Redentto have betrayed you and those who haven’t done so can’t save you and themselves at the same time. Alanis, it's time to wake up! When the time comes, not even he will be able to do what is necessary to save you: if that involves staining his hands and losing his redemption, do you think he would leave everything for you? Do you think he would stain his hands with blood for you? But I wouldn’t mind doing it, Ali. I swear I wouldn’t mind...”

  Unable to speak, Ali noticed that her breathing became more and more discomposed by Larsen's closeness. He made her feel safe in a completely different way, not as if he had the power to protect her from everything but as if, at his side, she herself could be another. Not the unsafe Alanis that everyone saw but the one she felt was inside her, the one that needed to be in that moment and that Mikael was so obstinate in not letting go. What if Larsen was right?

  “If he's not an angel then what is he?”

  The question surprised both of them. She didn’t expect to say it nor did he listen to it.

  “Ask him yourself, there he comes...” he said shaking his head in the direction of Churchill Garden.

  Ali could see Kaliel in the distance, with his back to her. His hair shone like gold in the sunlight.

  “If you change your mind you know where to find me: The witch’s eye bookstore”.

  Larsen turned and quickly disappeared into the next corner.

  Kaliel was standing on the other side of the street, staring at the trees in the park. Ali hurried toward him ready to receive a reprimand on his behalf but, instead, he gave her an unusual smile of relief. And when he asked what she was doing there, he didn’t sound hostile but worried. Did he really care?

  “It was a trap of Max. He has allied with Darry” Ali briefly informed him. “They must still be here; we must go”.

  Without further delay, Ali started walking again to where she’d seen Larsen go but Kaliel stopped her taking her by the arm.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Do you want me to return to the cathedral after this!?”

  “After what? You haven’t told me anything. Let's go back and there you explain it to me, but we can’t stay out here”. Kaliel glanced sideways, clearly uncomfortable. “I feel a dark presence watching us...” he added in a whisper.

  Then, he pulled her firmly, knowing she would try to resist.

  “No!” Ali writhed. “You can’t lock me my whole life!”

  Ignoring her claims, Kaliel picked her up and began to walk without expression. At first Ali kicked and tried to hit him several times without getting the least result.

  “It's Baaltazhar...” Kaliel said, squinting.

  No matter how much Ali grumbled, Kaliel didn’t release her until they were inside his room.

  “You're crazy... Do you want to die?”

  “Max will catch me sooner or later if we don’t leave here! Let me go Kaliel or I'll find a way to go on my own” muttered Ali.

  Arms folded, Kaliel closed the door with a kick. The idea was clear: retaining her would be easy for him.

  “What's the plan? Let me age here? Tell me, did that command Mikah?” She knew he'd get irritated with that. All she wanted was to erase that smug expression on his face.

  But he didn’t answer, he just pressed his lips.

  “I'll never see my father again if I'm still here!”

  Tears were gathering under her eyelids, threatening to ruin all her stability. Why couldn’t she take a step without falling apart? Why couldn’t she be strong? Then she saw the arrow on the floor by the window and went to pick it up. That morning, at least for a few moments, she had hoped to know something about her father. Now she had nothing. A crazy idea crossed at that moment through her mind.

  “I'd rather die than sit here with my arms crossed...”

  “Dying i
s not the worst thing that could happen to you if you fall into the hands of Darry or, worse, of Samael” Kaliel said, somber.

  “And who will prevent it? Mikah? He is an archangel... He couldn’t kill a fly! You? Who are you!? How can I trust you if I don’t know who you are?”

  Kaliel approached silently.

  “But you do it” he said. “You trust me anyway”.

  “Yes, but you don’t”. Ali stepped back to lean against the window frame. “Maybe I should stop doing it... Why don’t you tell me what you are? If you're not a vampire... If you're not like the rest of the Redentto, but you're still here seeking your redemption... And you think God punished you... How can you be so...?”

  Perfect. That's what she would have wanted to say while she saw him in the face. Perfect and, nevertheless, tormented. He remained silent, looking into her eyes, waiting for her to say it.

  “An angel...” muttered Ali almost without voice.

  “Do I look like an angel to you?” He answered bitterly. “After everything you've seen and heard, can you think that my nature is so noble?”

  For a moment, a tense silence allowed them to hear their own agitated breaths. He was so close, just like in her last dream.

  “You've seen me murder! You have seen me, you have heard me, you have had me so close to you all these days! Think about it and tell me now what I look like!

  “You are...” Ali pressed her lips trying to moisten them. “So perfect…”

  Kaliel hit the wall behind her and then walked away with his back to her.

  “I’m not an angel…”

  “Then what are you?”

  “You would stop trusting me...”

  “I won’t” promised Alanis. But he didn’t answer. She was sure she wasn’t wrong. Despite what Larsen said, even despite what he himself said. She had seen it before; She had seen his wings. “You're not going to tell me, right?”

  “Better believe what you want...”

  “If you're not an angel tell me why...” she began to say to attract his attention.

  Kaliel turned and saw her sitting in the window. Then she opened her arms anticipating her next move and let herself fall on her back. Ali threw herself out of the tower window into the deadly void. She did it without thinking too much and the feeling was terrifying. Her screams tore through the air and she instinctively closed her eyes. It was only a few seconds before, as she had imagined, some arms would stop her. They landed softly on one of the steep roofs of the cathedral. And when she opened her eyes, there was Kaliel carrying her and there were also the huge black wings spread out.

  “What do you think you are doing?”

  “I was telling you that if you're not an angel, why do you have wings?” She smiled completely amazed. Suddenly, terror became adrenaline.

  It wasn’t her imagination. Those were the same wings that she had seen before, those with a broken and plucked tip. It had always been him.

  “I'm not an angel anymore...” he insisted. He closed his eyes then, resigned. “I've fallen. I am a demon…”

  23

  Carnality

  A demon. It wasn’t what she expected. She never would have imagined it. Chase was right and she had let herself be fooled so easily. Larsen was right too. She had left him... seduce her? However, she couldn’t feel disappointed, not scared. She couldn’t imagine God rejecting such a divine creature, leaving him to be lost in hell for all eternity.

  Seated still on the roof of the cathedral next to him, Ali couldn’t stop staring at his wings. Thousands of feathers, of an intense black, refracted the sunlight as if they were carved in polished onyx. Kaliel watched her warily as she came closer to touch them.

  “Then everything I ever thought I knew about Heaven and Hell must be a lie...” She justified him.

  “Do you still trust me?” He said.

  “More than ever”.

  Now that all the pieces fit she understood so many things... All the things she had been told. What Charlotte had told her. She understood why she couldn’t have him. And yes, of course he was sublime; of course he was too good. After all, being a demon only meant that he had once been an angel and, from that, he had lost very little.

  “You can fly?” She said.

  “What do you mean?”

  Kaliel guessed, from her enthusiastic expression, that she wanted more than just a simple answer.

  “Please, I need to know what it feels like to fly...”

  “No. We'd better get back inside” he replied, standing up.

  Ali stepped in front of him, blocking his way.

  “Please” he begged like a girl. “I know you can. I've seen you do it... I can jump again if you prefer!”

  Kaliel rolled his eyes.

  Decided, Ali started to run to the ledge but he stopped her just before she could even try it.

  “Okay...” heard him murmur near her ear, resigned or maybe defeated. “If that’s what you want…”

  She felt him approach until he was against her back, body to body, just like in her dream. He slid his hands first under her arms, down her waist and then, he tucks them under her chest. She clung to his arms too, sensing the warmth of his soft skin. Her heart was racing. She expected him to believe it was due to the thrill of flying. Then, he barely bent his knees and they shot up.

  Her feet didn’t touch the ground. The cathedral grew smaller at an alarming speed. To her surprise, she didn’t feel vertigo. Neither fear of falling. She closed her eyes for a moment, ecstatic at the feeling of lightness, the release of gravity. Suddenly he stopped the ascent. Ali opened her eyes and breathed, trying to relax and slow down her crazy pulses. The city looked amazing from up there. All the houses and people looked like miniatures of a model.

  “I suppose there will be no problem if we go away from the cathedral for a few minutes now that we can fly back” he said and then resumed his flight not upwards but straight ahead.

  After what seemed like less than ten seconds, both descended on Stonehenge. The place, which used to be always crowded by tourists, was completely abandoned at that time. The gray of the overcast sky combined perfectly with the gray of the huge stones. A blizzard shook the grass announcing the approach of a storm. Maybe the loneliness was due to that. But it was better that way: the two alone. Not alone as in the cathedral, where the walls heard and there could always be someone hanging around, but really alone. Far from the omnipresent vigilance of Mikah.

  “That was great...” Ali sighed when Kaliel's arms released her in the middle of the circle of stones.

  She ran to one of the upright stones and felt its rough touch, as if trying to discern if this was another dream. Then she turned to face him, who was standing motionless in the same place. A gust of icy wind blew at that moment, ruffling her hair. Ali shuddered and hugged her arms.

  “It's cold?” He said.

  “I'm dying of cold...” Ali smiled. She didn’t want to admit it, she didn’t want to leave so soon, but it was obvious. “You don’t feel cold?”

  Kaliel looked away.

  “I don’t feel...” he said, taking slow and distracted steps towards her. “Or at least, I shouldn’t”.

  “Why do you say that?”

  Passing by him, she went to sit on one of the fallen stones.

  “The cold, the heat, the hunger, the sleepiness...” Kaliel enumerated with a lost look. “Fatigue, anger... Fear... Hate... Love... All human sensations and emotions. The more I understand them, the more human I become...” he said wearily.

  Ali went to sit next to him. She could guess on his face, that this was just the surface of a huge torment.

  “What's wrong with that?”

  “I'm trying to redeem myself. I can’t afford to feel any of that or... I'll lose myself”.

  “How?”

  “The more I experience the carnality of this world the more human I become, until I become completely a human and, then, I’ll never be able to recover my wings”.

  “What is it t
hat worries you now?” Ali asked. She knew there was something more behind that.

  Kaliel turned to her.

  “Each time is harder”.

  For a moment, only the wind blew. Kaliel's hair rocked until it touched Ali's face.

  “And everyone knows it and they try to take advantage of that” he continued. “Like that day, when that wretch had me on the ground, in the abandoned building”.

  “Jason?”

  “That damn. He could only do it because he discovered how to make me feel fear...”

  Kaliel shook his head in frustration. He couldn’t afford it. He couldn’t forgive himself.

  “I fell asleep last night. I had never slept before. Do you understand what that is!?”

  Ali bit her lip. Apparently, it was serious, but she wasn’t sure.

  “What is it that makes you human? What should you run away from?”

  “Of abandoning myself to my impulses” he answered.

  Then he buried his face in his hands and tugged at his hair. Ali had never seen him so vulnerable. Then she remembered what Alexander and Charlotte had told her: that he looked different, vulnerable, defeated. This was exactly what they were referring to.

  It's as if he were forbidden to love, repeated Charlotte's voice in her head.

  “That's so unfair!” She found herself saying.

  He looked at her surprised.

  “Does that mean you don’t know what it's like to feel the summer breeze on your face? Or a hot coffee in winter? Or dream something nice? Or a hug?” She said, gesturing hysterically. “Or a kiss..?”

  “No” he replied dryly.

  His existence was miserable. Maybe he couldn’t follow his impulses but she could. With the back of her hand, she touched Kaliel's icy cheek. He remained motionless, trying to guess what she was up to. Ali rubbed her hands with energy to warm them and then she brought her hand up to rest on his icy face.

  “Can you feel that?” She murmured. Suddenly she was short of breath.

  “No”.

  “Focus. Is God going to punish you for this? I don’t think so, Kaliel. I can’t do it. That is not the loving and compassionate God they spoke to me about...” She insisted, this time taking his face with both hands.