Lying in Shadows

by Sofia Grey

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Rico updated Marianne, as they walked to Jordan’s house for the meeting. He told her about Marcus drinking himself into a stupor.

  She was glad she dressed in her battle armour. Her pin-striped pant-suit and heels usually levelled the playing field in tough meetings, and she expected the worst today.

  Jordan, whom she barely met yesterday, was likely to be in a foul mood. Rico and Aiden would be as superior as ever, and as for Marcus... Poor, sweet Marcus—what state would he be in? And how would she react when she saw him?

  They gathered in a small book-lined lounge and sat on elderly but comfortable mismatched chairs around a sturdy coffee table. Jordan brought in two large pots of fresh coffee and a plate of pastries, and Marianne sneaked a covert look at Marcus. He looked ill, grey, and tired. Their gazes met, and he managed a little smile.

  She spent the night with AJ, but every instinct demanded she hold Marcus. Instead, she sat at an angle, so he wasn’t in her eye line. It hurt.

  Jordan kicked off the meeting, his voice crisp and compelling. “I want to know exactly what’s been happening at TM-Tech. Who’s involved, who’s done what, what’s ongoing at the moment, and what issues you face. Risk analysis. The works. And all the dirty details. I assure you, if you leave anything, I will find out.”

  He glanced at each person in turn, his power absolute, and Marianne nodded. Marcus at the helm was so similar—or had been before the past few weeks. Now he looked as though the stuffing had been knocked out of him, and her heart ached.

  Jordan addressed Marcus. “Can you go first, please? Take it from the point at which you and Thaddeus decided to commission the audit.”

  Marcus took him through the timeline, pausing frequently for coffee. Rico and Marianne added their parts, finally bringing it up to date with Aiden’s arrival and the flooding of the datacentre. As directed, nothing was left out.

  Marianne had to admire Jordan’s professionalism. Even though he had to be furious with Marcus and probably detested her, he was polite and respectful towards them both.

  The briefing took forever. By noon, she was mentally exhausted. Jordan called a short break for lunch and said they’d reconvene in twenty minutes, and Marianne decided to go outside.

  She walked slowly down the drive, breathing in deep lungfuls of the fresh sea air. It was damp here and colder than she expected. She much preferred the city. She leaned against Marcus’s rental car and watched a team of people pack up the wedding tent and the furniture. Was it really only last night she watched Event Horizon play again?

  Marianne wasn’t surprised when Marcus came to find her. Shielded from view by a tree, they stared at each other. Their last night together was burned into her brain. She’d never forget the way they made love.

  Standing so close and not touching him was impossible. She reached out and took his hand, tangling her fingers through his. She wanted to weep at the look of hope that flashed across his eyes.

  “Jordan is staying in the apartment with me,” he said. “I don’t know how I’ll be able to see you.”

  Oh God. He didn’t know about AJ. She dragged away her gaze, to watch the people loading folded chairs into a large van. “You were right. AJ is the ex I was talking about.” His fingers tightened around hers. She couldn’t look at him. “I’ve asked him to think about staying with me in London.”

  Marcus released her hand, but then snaked his arms around her and pressed his lips to her throat. She wriggled free. “We have to finish, Marcus. I don’t want to be unfaithful to AJ.” Her voice was unsteady.

  “Yet you don’t mind me being unfaithful to Louisa.”

  He was right. When did her moral compass desert her? Oh yes—when she fell in love with Marcus.

  No. The idea terrified her. She only ever loved AJ. “Please, Marcus. Don’t make this more difficult.”

  He crowded her, not allowing her to escape, and moved to cup her face.

  She had to stare into his eyes, such a beautiful blue, they mesmerized her.

  “I told you I was going to leave Louisa. What if I asked you to choose me instead?” he asked.

  Tears pricked at the backs of her eyes. Her throat was too clogged for her to speak.

  “I know what you like,” he whispered. “What turns you on. How you like to be tied up, shagging on my desk, taking risks and being reckless. Will you get all that with AJ? Does he know how to fuck you hard from behind? When you’re making love with him, will you be thinking of me?”

  Jesus Christ. She spent years wishing she had AJ back. She couldn’t lose him now. “AJ is my future. He doesn’t have a wife. Our relationship isn’t an affair that has to be conducted in secret.”

  “But you like the sneaking around. The chance of getting caught. It turns you on.” Marcus tugged her closer.

  Damn him. He was right. One touch, and she wanted him more than ever. She had to resist. “No.” She put her palms on his chest and shoved.

  He released her, his breathing ragged.

  “Please go.” She smoothed her shirt with trembling hands. “Please, Marcus. If the last few weeks meant anything to you, please let me go.”

  “The last few weeks were the most wonderful of my life, with you beside me. I love you, Marianne. Please tell me this wasn’t a game to you.”

  She had the chance to make him turn away, but the hope and love in his eyes forced her to be honest. “No. It wasn’t a game. If things were different...” She refused to finish the sentence. “You need to make up with Louisa. I’m with AJ. I’m sorry.”

  ****

  Making up with his wife wasn’t an option, but Marcus needed to talk to her. Shit. Where did he start? Above all, he hated knowing he’d hurt her. She never asked for this.

  When the meeting finished, Marcus went looking for Louisa. She wasn’t in the house or garden, and neither was Ted. Marcus had a moment of panic that they’d already left for Houston. It would be no more than he deserved.

  He found Kate in the kitchen, and she gave him a big hug. “Oh, Marcus. What have you done?”

  There was no simple answer to that. “Do you know where Louisa is? I haven’t seen Ted yet, and we’re leaving soon for London.”

  “She took Ted and Poppy to see Anita’s mum. She’s got a litter of kittens, and the children adore playing with them.” Kate went back to what she was doing, but glanced over her shoulder. “They’ll be back soon. If you want more headache pills, they’re in the box on top of the fridge.”

  “Thanks.” He washed them down with a glass of water, and then lurked in the kitchen. “Kate, I want to apologise for last night.”

  The look she gave him was grave. “I’m not the one you need to apologise to. It was a horrible shock for Lou—for all of us—and she’s hurting right now.”

  Jordan interrupted them at that point, wanting Kate for something, and Marcus was ignored. He didn’t want to miss Louisa, so he took a position at the bottom of the stairs. From there, he’d see her return.

  There was nothing else to do but wait and try to decide what to say.

  He saw Ted first.

  The little guy ran to him, a beaming smile on his face. “Poppa,” he cried, as he hurled himself into Marcus’s arms. “We saw kitties.”

  Ted smelled of soap and chalk, and Marcus inhaled the fragrance. Would Ted understand what was happening? When Marcus was hundreds of miles away, leaving him and Louisa was easy for Marcus to consider, but here, with his child wriggling in his embrace, it was heartbreaking to consider.

  “Ted. We need to wash up for dinner.”

  Marcus lifted his head and met Louisa’s gaze. Her face was drawn tight, her lips a narrow line. Pain shone in her eyes, and Marcus felt it like a knife to the guts.

  “Louisa, I—”

  “No. Don’t say anything.” She cleared her throat. “Ted, go wash your hands, baby. Go with Poppy.”

  Ted grumbled but slipped away from Marcus and trotted off to the kitchen and the sound of Poppy’s
high voice.

  Silence fell. Marcus’s carefully planned words vanished. He sat there like the idiot he was. So this was what shame felt like. He didn’t like the taste of it.

  “You said you loved me and Ted. That was last weekend, Marcus. A week ago. Either you were lying then, or you were lying last night.” Louisa threw her hands in the air. “Tell me. I don’t understand.”

  This wasn’t a discussion he could hold while he sat on his ass. He stood but was still stuck for words. “I’m sorry.”

  “How long? How long have you been fucking her?” Louisa sounded furious, but she kept her voice low.

  “Should we go somewhere to talk about this?” he asked.

  “You want privacy now? You were happy for everything to come out in the open last night.”

  He wasn’t in the slightest. The text was sent to Marianne and should never have been seen by anyone else. Arguing this point wouldn’t help, so he tried again. “Let’s go in the library. Or outside. Please.”

  “No.” She wrapped her arms around herself, and he saw the faint sheen of tears gleaming in her eyes. “How long, Marcus?”

  “A week.”

  She flinched. “Do you have any idea how humiliated I was last night? I can’t talk to you right now. I don’t want to be in the same building as you. Please tell me you’re going back to London this evening.”

  “Yes, I am. But we need to talk.”

  “You mean you want to.”

  “Well... yes.”

  “It’s always about what you want.” She wiped at her eyes. “Not this time.” She turned and walked down the corridor.

  Marcus caught up with her and reached for her arm.

  She shied away like a frightened horse, as though he was toxic—and maybe he was. “I said no. Until you can begin to understand how I feel, I don’t want anything to do with you. Keep away from me.”

  ****

  Maz eventually returned from her all-day meeting at Jordan’s house. She walked in with Aiden at her side. Alex’s house had gone from being full to feeling empty again, and it played on his unsettled mood. He kept listening out for Sylvie, before remembering she was no longer there. He didn’t know where she went, and he didn’t ask. The room she’d shared with Rico was spotless. There was no trace of her anywhere.

  Maz and Aiden were in the middle of discussing their complicated travel arrangements, when Aiden’s phone jangled. He stepped out of the kitchen but returned moments later, his face grim. “They’ve unearthed something on Sylvie’s stolen laptop. We need to meet up as soon as we get back to London tonight.”

  Maz sighed. “Should we check with Jordan and Marcus first? See if they think it’s a priority?”

  “I’m texting them now, but they’ll agree. And believe me—this is a priority. My team couldn’t tell me the details, as the line isn’t secure, but we need to get back.”

  Alex decided it was time to join the conversation. “How soon do you need to leave?”

  Emotion flared on Maz’s face. Whether it was excitement or disappointment, he couldn’t tell.

  She glanced at her phone. “Our flight leaves Manchester in two-and-a-half hours. I guess we have to go soon.” She met his gaze, and he saw regret. “We’ve had no time together. I’m sorry.”

  “Did you mean it, about me coming back with you?”

  This time, the excitement was unmistakeable. She widened her eyes and took a step towards him. “Yes. Do you want to? Can you be ready in the next fifteen minutes?

  Packing was never a hassle. He spent years on the move with the band. “As long as I can bring a guitar with me.” For the first time since she walked back in, he saw a smile.

  They left soon after, Aiden driving and Maz sitting in the front, while AJ stayed in the back, PRS across his knees. His luggage was minimal but included a miniature amp and a portable studio, shoved inside his carry-on bag. He’d buy an extra seat for his PRS, rather than leaving it in the hold. His writing flowed beautifully at the moment and he’d no intention of abandoning it.

  Yeah, getting back with Maz was good for him.

  Hours later they reached London and Maz’s apartment block. Her place was tiny after Alex’s sprawling house, with one bedroom, a cubby-hole for an office, and an open-plan lounge-kitchen combo. He’d stayed in bigger hotel suites.

  Alex stood in the doorway to the bathroom and watched Maz splash water on her face, before she redid her makeup. It was almost eight in the evening. Was she going to the office?

  She smiled at him over her shoulder. “I don’t know when I’ll be back. If it gets late, go to bed.” With a swift kiss on his cheek, she swept out in a flurry of perfume and clicking heels.

  He felt odd, as though he watched himself from a distance. He came here on a whim, and it was way too soon to second-guess himself. Alone and wide awake, he explored to pass the time. It took all of four minutes. The fridge was more sparsely stocked than his own, with half a bottle of Russian vodka, two lemons, and a large bottle of Perrier. The kitchen revealed ground coffee and a packet of bran breakfast cereal. The wardrobe held half-a-dozen near-identical tailored black suits, laundered and ironed white shirts, and one pair of jeans.

  Seeing her in a tailored suit today was shocking. He still thought of her as a slightly plump teenager, with long hair, ripped jeans, and bare feet. This new Maz wore designer suits and expensive stiletto shoes. Her underwear drawer was more exciting, with tiny, exotic pieces of lingerie, and several pairs of black lace-topped stockings. He shoved the drawer shut, pissed off with himself for snooping. What did he expect to find?

  He sat back on the sofa and reflected on this new Maz, familiar yet strange at once. There were no traces left of the innocent young girl who loved him that summer. This woman was all business.

  He gazed at the fridge and thought about the vodka. Maybe a tiny one? Or maybe not. He made coffee, tasted it, and then threw it down the sink. His instant coffee was even more disgusting than the fresh he tried to brew. Sylvie didn’t manage to teach him the art of making a good brew. And now she wouldn’t.

  Restless, he dug out his laptop and fired up iTunes. Sylvie used it last, when she synchronized her iPod with his extensive music collection. He flicked through the playlists, looking for the list of most recently played items, curious to see what she listened to.

  Oasis, Foos, Event Horizon—the tracks they played at the party. What else? More Foos, a handful of classic rock tracks from the 80s and 90s, and a couple of Red Hot Chili Peppers albums. The top-played tracks were “Under the Bridge” and “Parallel Universe”. Good choices and probably also his favourite Chili tracks.

  He set her playlist going, and then with that in the background, unpacked his guitar, amp, and portable studio. “Under the Bridge” was the song he always wished he could have written. It summed up everything he wanted in a track, the melancholy emotion, power, and haunting guitar tones, so reminiscent of Jimi Hendrix. The song drifted into one from Pearl Jam—“Immortality”—another of his favourites. To give her credit, she had good taste in music.

  His mind veered back to The Kiss. Shortest lip lock in history, but with more passion than he’d felt in forever.

  Alex dozed on the sofa, PRS resting across his lap, and dreamed of a young woman with dark hair tumbling down her back, faded jeans with bare feet, and a smile that made his heart turn over.

  Only problem, it was Sylvie he dreamed of.

  ****

  Marcus travelled back to London with Rico and Jordan. They opted to drive all the way, and Marcus was largely ignored in the back seat. There was a phone call from Aiden and a short conversation about what his team might have found, but Marcus tuned out everything else.

  He gazed out into the darkness, his mind spinning endlessly over the weekend. He always considered himself a good man. Now he was faced with the fallout of his decisions and how they hurt the people he cared about. He wanted to beat himself up for the way he treated Louisa, and he couldn’t begin to comprehend how it wo
uld affect Ted.

  He meant to tell Louisa. Not have her discover it like this. It was his responsibility to tell her he loved Marianne, not to let her find out from his cell phone. How careless was that? Maybe subconsciously he wanted to be found out? Louisa knew the PIN for his phone, as he knew hers. It never occurred to him to change it.

  The devil on his shoulder reminded him this was all for nothing. He didn’t have Marianne any more. If he grovelled to Louisa, would she take him back? Would she be big enough to put this behind her?

  Did he want that? No. Would he rather be alone? He had no answer.

  So what now? Jordan would be staying with him at the Exec apartment. He’d act like his jailer. And from what Marianne said, AJ was moving in with her.

  What else was left for Marcus to fuck up? There was the spiralling problem at TM-Tech and his long-standing relationship with Jordan. Perhaps out of everything he now stood to lose, with the exception of Ted, his friendship with Jordan would hurt the most.

  When they arrived at work, they dropped their bags in Reception with the security guard, and Marcus showed Jordan and Rico the mess that used to be the datacentre. Did that only happen yesterday morning? Next came a visit to the temporary datacentre taking shape on the second floor. Late as it was, a small group of techs were wiring and connecting, tapping on keyboards, and reconstructing the information heart of TM-Tech Europe.

  They had coffee in his office while they waited for the others to arrive. Apart from that morning, Jordan still hadn’t broached the subject of Marcus’s affair with Marianne. It would have to be discussed at some point. They couldn’t leave it hanging in the air.

  Aiden’s team arrived first. Two Aiden-clone-spooks, they introduced themselves as Greg and Harvey. They wanted to wait for their boss before they said anything, so Marcus continued to stare outside.

  Jordan’s phone buzzed, to announce Aiden’s arrival, and the atmosphere in the office sharpened as they all stretched and moved around.