Dirty Swedish Player: A Big Stick Novel

by R. C. Stephens

  He returns moments later with the glass filled.

  “It wouldn’t hurt if you drank more.” He passes me the cup. I take it. “There. Was that less demanding?” He smirks. It’s so damn sexy.

  “Yes, better. Thank you.” I don’t know what else to say.

  I finish the toast and drink more water. Nils takes my plate and the glass and places them on my dresser, then he gets into bed beside me. “You’re sleeping in here?”

  “Well, yeah. It’s four in the morning. I’ve been sleeping here the last two hours,” he says. “Why? Did you want me to leave?” He sounds tired and irritated.

  “Well . . . no, I wouldn’t want to kick you out in the middle of the night,” I answer. “Not after you’ve taken such good care of me.”

  “Gee, thanks,” he scoffs.

  “I didn’t mean it that way,” I say.

  “Try to get some sleep, Sierra.”

  “Okay.” I lie back down, facing him. His eyes are closed. He’s on his back. I look at the contours of his face, his sculpted cheekbones, his strong jawline. My eyes drop to his wide, muscular shoulders and chest, then trail down his sinewy and veiny arms. Even his forearms are sexy as hell. I can’t believe he’s in my apartment, in bed with me. My head gets foggy, but I feel so much better. I drift off to sleep.

  I dream of big, strong arms wrapped around me. The rise and fall of his Adonis chest. The fresh, clean scent of his cologne, and I feel a contentment I haven’t felt in a long time. In my dream, I smile because this feels right.

  When I wake the next morning, he’s gone. Yet a sense of fulfillment washes over me and a part of me wishes the dream was real.

  Fifteen

  Nils

  I can’t stop thinking about her. The way the confession about hurting her came tumbling out of my mouth has me reeling. Guilt eats away at me. I caused her to leave Minnesota, to leave her father’s home. Now, here we are, together again under similar circumstances, and all I can think is how vibrant, beautiful, and amazing she is.

  I step out of the shower and throw on a pair of shorts and a polo. Coach gave us a few days off, which is nice, because we have a scrimmage game coming up, along with some intense practices set up next week. The season starts the week after that.

  I grab my keys and head out of town for a day of golfing with some of my buds from the team.

  I’ve just started to drive when my cell rings. It’s Fisher. I’m not in the mood to dissect my life right now, but I have no other choice. “Hello.”

  “Nils, it’s Fisher. Is this a good time? I wanted to see how the wedding went,” he says.

  “Wedding was nice. I didn’t touch a drop of alcohol,” I say, contemplating if I should tell him about my fake arrangement with Sierra. I know he would have to keep it a secret, but he may also think I am nuts, and I don’t need that.

  “Good to hear. So everything was smooth?” he asks.

  “Yup.”

  “Okay, I’ll be seeing you Tuesday for your appointment.”

  “Bye, Fisher.” I end the call and blow out a breath. That wasn’t too bad.

  Driving on the open road for more than an hour gives me too much time to think and my mind drifts to what Sierra said about my mother. She almost has me feeling guilty for assuming the worst of my mom—that she was with Steve for monetary reasons only.

  I shake my head. I shouldn’t feel guilt. The woman left me with an abusive man for years before bringing me to America, and she could have reached out to me.

  She’s managed to stay in touch with Sierra. Hearing that burned me. Mom cares enough to stay in touch with her ex-stepdaughter and not her own son?

  The night everything went down at the frat party years ago, Sierra probably went home in tears. I don’t even know, because I woke in bed with naked girls draped over me. It wasn’t a first for me either. What was a first was that my chest fucking hurt. A sting filled my veins—a venom I’d never felt before. I was angry at myself for hurting Sierra. Sorrow had blanketed me like a thick coat of honey. I was the bad blood in the family, I had always been. That’s why I cut them off and it’s not like Mom tried to get in touch anyway.

  I pull into the golf club and head inside. Some of the employees know me here.

  “The guys are out back by the bar,” one of the ladies notifies me.

  “Thanks.” I tip my golf cap and head outside. “Isn’t it a little early for drinks?” I say, as I walk up to their table and spot glasses filled with OJ.

  “Just a little vodka and OJ,” Myles says.

  Matt clinks glasses with him. Being on break means they like to drink a bit.

  “Hey.” I fist bump Myles, Matt, and another teammate, Austin, who was traded last season.

  The waitress comes up to me.

  “I’ll just have an orange juice,” I tell her.

  “Would you like it spiced up?” She smiles. She’s blond and young, with a killer body and a nice set of breasts. Maybe a few weeks ago I would have been digging her and flirting, but not today.

  “Just the OJ, no spice.”

  “Great.” She grins and turns on her heel.

  “Still on the straight and arrow? Proud of you, man.” Myles gives me another fist pump.

  “Yeah,” Matt chimes in.

  “Gotta do what I gotta do,” I say. Hockey is my life.

  “Is that chick on your list of things you gotta do?” Matt asks.

  My brows furrow because I have no clue what he’s talking about.

  “The chick from Oli’s wedding. The hot one with the dark hair. I was totally chatting her up. She was feeling me, and you came in and shut things down,” Matt says.

  I side-eye Myles because I can tell he’s laughing behind his hand that’s covering his mouth.

  “That’s Sierra, Matt. Her and Nils go way back,” Myles says.

  “What? Karlsson goes way back with a chick?” Austin chuckles.

  I grit my jaw. “Sierra was drunk as hell at the wedding. She wasn’t feeling you, Matt,” I say matter-of-factly. “And fuck off, Austin.” I point to Myles. “You keep your mouth shut,” I say playfully, but my tone conveys that I mean business.

  “Aw! Are you testy because you haven’t gotten laid? Is that one of the rules of your probation?” Austin asks.

  “Fuck.” I rake fingers through my hair. “Why did I agree to spend the day with you assholes?”

  They all laugh and so do I.

  We get up and head out to the golf course where our golf clubs and balls are set up and ready for us. Matt and Austin start out and Myles and I hang back.

  “What’s really going on with you, man?” he asks, and I can tell he’s being sincere.

  “I don’t know.” I shrug. “The whole ‘getting arrested and having my future on the line’ thing is getting to me.”

  “But you’re clear, right? Wasn’t Savannah Grossi your lawyer?” he asks.

  “Yeah, she was good. I need to thank Flynn for the referral. Savannah got me off the hook. Those chicks set me up and the photos and videos they had on their phone proved it.”

  “Does Coach know all this?” Myles asks.

  “I told him.” I nod. “He still wants me in anger management and he still wants me to be on the straight and narrow. He says my drinking and temper are what gets me into trouble, and I can’t say he’s wrong. This whole situation has been an eye-opener.”

  He nods and looks sympathetic. “Man, that really sucks, but at least you aren’t being charged.”

  “Amen to that.”

  “And Sierra?” he asks. “I heard you two left the wedding together.” He waggles his brows.

  “She’s my fake girlfriend and she was drunk. I was just watching out for her,” I say.

  “You drove her home,” he says, his tone carrying innuendo that there was more than a drive home.

  “You were too drunk to notice.” I narrow my eyes on him.

  He throws his head back, laughing. “Flynn noticed. I swear, women notice everything. So, yo
u’re into this girl.” He nods and smiles like he’s proud of me.

  “She’s my fake girlfriend. I’m paying her to be with me,” I say. If anyone will understand, it’s Myles. The guy did a one-eighty when Flynn came back into his life. He behaved like an amped up bodyguard when she was around, warning us all away from Oli’s hotter-than-hell sister. “I took her home. She felt sick from drinking. I spent the night in her bed just taking care of her.”

  “Fuck, Karlsson. You got it bad.” His teeth dig into his lower lip and he nods repetitively.

  “Can we be serious here? I don’t know what to do. When I left her apartment the next morning, I didn’t wait for her to wake up. I took off. I just. . . I don’t know, got freaked?” I say.

  “Have you been out with other chicks?” Myles asks. He knows me well. I can usually hook up multiple times a week if I want to.

  “No. Haven’t touched any girls,” I say, knowing I’m digging myself deeper. “Shit that sounds awful.” My face scrunches.

  Myles laughs. “Only you would find falling for a chick disturbing or have you just not hooked up because of the probation?” he asks.

  I repeat the question in my mind. I haven’t gone this long without sex since. . . I don’t know when. I think of the waitress who just hit on me back at the table. In the past, I could have flirted and possibly ended up in the employee lounge for a quickie, but I wasn’t digging her because all I have on my mind is Sierra and her sweet smile. I probably just need something quick with her to get her out of my system.

  “Earth to Nils.” Myles waves his hand in my face. “What do you plan on doing? Don’t you have a sordid past with her?”

  “Dammit. Flynn told you? She promised she wouldn’t.”

  “Man, I can be very convincing when I want to be,” he says, licking his lips.

  Fucking hell. I hold up my hand. “I don’t want to know.”

  He chuckles. “Good, because I wasn’t going to share. But in all seriousness, I know what you did, and the girl has every right to be ticked off.”

  “We actually spoke at the wedding and I told her the real reason I lashed out at her. I had feelings for her back then and I got spooked. It’s totally messed up but I’m hoping it’s behind us now. We are doing this fake dating thing. We’ll be hanging out a few times a week. I even made us a reservation for a dinner cruise. It should all work to clean up my image.”

  Myles puts a hand up in my face. “Hold up. You’re going on a dinner cruise?”

  “It’s a crazy-ass story.” I shrug, as if it’s nothing, but then I begin to realize I’m doing crazy things to spend time with this woman.

  “Karlsson, do I need to check you for a concussion?” he asks.

  “No. It’s part of our deal; she agreed to go on three dates a week with me. The dinner cruise counts toward that.”

  “This whole fake relationship is going to bite you in the ass,” Myles says, as he swings his club.

  “Bite me in the ass how?” I ask. He ignores me. “Asshole.”He practices his swing a few times, and I take my club and stand off to the side. I won’t fall for Sierra. This fake relationship is about me cleaning up my image in the media.

  Hockey is number one in my life and I plan on keeping it that way.

  Sixteen

  Sierra

  I throw off the tenth outfit I’ve tried on. “Nothing looks right.” I sulk.

  Sunny frowns. “I think everything you’ve tried on looks good.” Her southern drawl is adorable.

  “You should put that yellow floral dress back on,” Sunny suggests. “Add a little white cardigan and you’ll be good to go.”

  “Gah! I’ll look like a schoolteacher,” I say.

  “Is that so bad? You said it yourself. You don’t want to be like one of those puck bunnies he dates.” She shrugs.

  I laugh so hard my eyes tear up. Sunny is from the south. She knows nothing of hockey and puck bunnies. “I’ve taught you well.”

  She falls back on my bed and examines her nails. “I need a manicure. I also need to teach you football so we have something in common. I don’t get why you want to watch a sport that takes place on the ice. It’s cold. The players are probably freezing their asses off and their . . . you-know-whats are all shriveled up.”

  “Girl, you got it so wrong. Hockey is hot as hell. When the season starts up, I’m dragging you to a game. When those players get moving, it’s pure fire on the ice. And I’m not saying that because I grew up in Minnesota where everyone is a hockey fan.”

  “Fine, fine. I’ll watch a game. See what it’s all about. Now stop wasting time. Get that outfit on and own it.” She winks and stands from my bed. “I’ll go wait in the living room. Someone needs to open the door for your hot hockey man.”

  “Ah! So, you do think he’s hot.”

  “I’m not blind, darling. That boy is gorgeous, but it has nothing to do with hockey. He’s got that bad-boy vibe,” she says, fanning herself.

  “It’s his bad-boy reputation that has me sweating. I still can’t believe I confessed that I liked him back in the day. He watched me puke the other night, Sunny.” I wince and shake my head. “It’s the most unattractive thing in the world.”

  “And yet he called to make sure you didn’t forget about the dinner cruise and he’ll be here in twenty. Stop pouting and get ready.” She turns on her heel and bounces out of my room.

  It’s too hot in here. My cheeks are flushed. I slip on the dress with the cardigan. I put on some mascara and lip gloss, then slide my glasses on. I sometimes like to wear contacts on a date, but Nils doesn’t seem to mind my glasses, which is better for me because the contacts dry my eyes out. I blew out my hair into loose ringlets, and I run my fingers through it to try reduce the volume. I’m as pleased as I can be with the outcome of my efforts.

  There’s a knock on the door. I check myself one last time in the mirror and take a deep breath as I walk to the door. I open it to a heartbreakingly handsome Nils in a fitted black T-shirt that shows off the sexy ink on his arms, and a pair of dark-wash jeans. He’s holding chocolates and flowers. His eyes graze over me from head to toe and he smiles.

  “These are for you,” he says, passing me a beautiful bouquet and a box of chocolates.

  “You know you don’t have to bring me flowers and chocolate every time,” I say, because I feel bad that he’s going out of his way when we aren’t even dating.

  “Would you actually mind taking a picture of them and posting them on your social media? It would make things look more real if we both posted about our relationship.” His words make my stomach sink. It’s not like I thought this was a real gesture.

  “Of course. Sunny and Declan are in her room so you may want to keep it down about the fake boyfriend stuff,” I whisper close to him and take in the clean scent of his cologne.

  He winces.

  I head to the kitchen and place the flowers and chocolate next to each other. “There we go.” I take the pic and show him for approval.

  He nods. “Should we head out?”

  “Sure.” I grin.

  “You look beautiful,” he says, as his eyes sweep over my body again.

  “Thank you,” I say shyly. Something is buzzing in the air around us tonight. For some reason, it’s making everything feel different.

  I hug my torso as we walk to the elevator.

  “Can I hold your hand?” he asks.

  “Uh . . . sure.” I release my hold on myself and offer my hand.

  Nils smiles sweetly. “I like that dress on you,” he says.

  I raise my left brow. “Really? I mean, I thought it may not be your taste.”

  His lips turn down. “Why would you think that?” he asks, then he rolls his eyes. “Okay, I think I know why you may think that. I have a reputation for going for a certain type. But I really am digging this dress. Those other girls have nothing on you. That dress just made my heart speed up,” he says, so easily, full of confidence.

  I smile. “That’s sweet. T
hanks, Nils.”

  We get into his Tesla and Nils drives us toward the pier.

  We eat dinner while a man and a woman present information on time-sharing. The boat is large. The dining room is on the second floor, which provides a nice view of the lake.

  “I can’t believe you signed us up for this. You can’t seriously be considering buying a time-share,” I say to Nils before I take a bite of my chicken breast. It tastes dry and papery and I give up after two bites.

  “I don’t know. This guy is making some pretty good arguments. It’s an economical way to travel the world,” he says.

  “Are you an economical guy? I mean, you drive a fancy car, and I’ve heard you own a crazy house,” I say, forking some of the steamed vegetables, ’cause I’m starving. They’re overcooked and mushy.

  Nils takes a bite of his steak. “I may have overspent these last couple of years, but I realize I need to tone things down. I’m actually thinking of selling my house. Maybe getting something a little smaller, closer to the city,”

  “Really? Why?” I ask.

  “It’s all too much, Sierra. I came from nothing. The money went to my head. I almost got myself kicked off the team because of bad choices. I have to change my lifestyle,” he says. He takes another bite of steak. “This is really gross.” He tosses his fork onto the tablecloth.

  “My chicken is nasty, too.” I laugh.

  “So much for a romantic dinner on a boat,” he says. “Let’s just take some pics. The scenery will make for some good social media posts.”

  His words pierce me in an unexpected way. I know we aren’t in a real relationship but when he compliments me and says sweet things, it feels real. It’s hard to separate in my mind. A part of me wants to know what it would feel like to really be with him. Yes, he has a bad reputation, but he’s been really nice since we struck up this deal.

  You are his employee, Sierra. Don’t fall for him.

  I lean in and we take some pictures at the table. Then we walk around, since we aren’t eating our meal. While walking around we take more pictures of the two of us against the vast expanse of the water in the background.