The Woman in the Pyjamas

by Sarah Pond

  'I suppose so. Unless I read the signs wrongly. Maybe I was remembering the dream I had and muddling it all up.'

  'I'm sure you didn't.' Eve sighed to herself over Daisy's doubt.

  'Even so, what if it doesn't happen again? The moment's gone, that might be it.'

  'I really don't think it will be. Remember, you don't have to wait for him to make the first move.'

  ~~~~~

  Meeting Stephen outside the restaurant for their first date, Daisy thought that he still looked almost awkward in his tall body, as he bent down to kiss her on the cheek. Once they were shown to their table, he fumbled to help her with her coat. There was a vulnerable quality about him back then, and maybe that was one of the reasons that she felt so comfortable with him. As she sat across the table from Stephen, Daisy again thought how kind his eyes were.

  Back then, she had let him do all the chasing. When she had been growing up, she had been told that was the way it was, and she hadn't really thought to question it. Hadn't really thought about it at all, to be honest. Remembering now, she supposed it did seem a bit old fashioned. Stephen had told her many times afterwards how nervous he had been about asking her out, and how he nearly talked himself out of it. If he had, they would have never got together. Hmm, on second thoughts, that might have saved a lot of heartache. But Jess. They would never have had Jess, and that really was unimaginable. For whatever else had happened, Jess was the best thing in her life, and she would never regret the relationship that had brought her into being.

  ~~~~~

  'Darling, how are you?'

  'Oh, hi, Mum. I'm fine. How are you?' Daisy sat in the armchair, balancing the cordless phone between her cheek and shoulder.

  'We're very well, thank you.'

  Daisy's mum always tended to answer for both her and her husband. Daisy thought it made her sound like the queen, answering with the royal 'we', and it brought a smile to her face.

  'So what's new with you, Mum?'

  They caught up on each other's news. Then, towards the end of the call, was the inevitable question. 'So, any other men on the scene, then?'

  'No, Mum.' She had already batted away the idea of her calling Bryan from the seminar.

  'You're not getting any younger, you know.' Not that old chestnut again.

  'Yes, I know. I'm fine, though.' Daisy was sure that Daphne didn't interfere in her brother's life at all.

  Daphne's voice was almost pleading, 'You need a man to take care of you and Jess.'

  Daisy rolled her eyes, here we go again. Daphne was old fashioned, to say the least. She still had her whiteish grey hair washed and set at the hairdressers every week. She was usually to be seen very well dressed, delicate makeup, and a silk scarf, often pale pink or lilac, around her neck. Daisy didn't think she had ever seen her in casual clothes. She waited for her mum to run her usual course. 'Mum, we're both happy. I'm not going to be with someone for the sake of it.'

  'I know darling, I just want you to be happy.' Daphne had adored Stephen, and still couldn't believe that he'd had an affair. Daisy had explained over and over that she couldn't stay with him after that. Anyway, far from the affair being over, Stephen was still with the woman. Or maybe he broke up with her, then got back together, what did it matter now anyway.

  'I know, Mum. I am. I'll catch up with you again next week, okay?'

  They said their goodbyes, and as Daisy rang off, she let out a big sigh of relief. She hoped she wasn't going to be like that with Jess when she grew up. But who could tell, her mum always said you never stop worrying about your children, however old they are.

  Right, time to take action. Having pep talked herself after her conversation with Eve, Daisy had come up with a plan. She was really excited about it. It took her quite a long time to settle down that night, as the idea buzzed around her brain like a ping pong ball, but eventually, sleep did come.

  In the morning, Daisy's idea didn't feel anywhere near as inspired as it had the night before. The self pep talk had worn off, and she really wasn't sure that she could go through with it. The idea was silly, she told herself, and also might make her look like a bit of a harlot. She sighed. Who even talks like that, even to themselves. Oh my god, just get to work.

  In the event, Daisy did dare herself to go ahead with her plan. If she didn't go through with it, she wouldn't hear the end of it from Eve. More than that, she wouldn't hear the end of it from herself. What was the worst that could happen? She was sure that Ryan was going to kiss her yesterday, so it was very likely that it would be okay.

  If not, she could just look for another job. Simple.

  Urgh, she smacked the palm of her hand across her forehead.

  When Ryan arrived at work, he noticed a small envelope on his desk, tucked under his keyboard. He slid it out, and opened it. 'I've got my own stash of biscuits. I don't mind sharing.' Ryan smiled to himself, and sat down, turning on his computer.

  Daisy had been at work for nearly two hours, and she hadn't heard anything from Ryan. What must he think of me. I shouldn't have done it, I must be crazy. Oh well, I didn't put my name on the note, I can always pretend it wasn't me.

  When Cheryl walked into her office, Daisy nearly jumped a mile, she was so caught up in her thoughts. 'I'm so sorry, I did knock first.'

  'Bloody hell, you're like Nanny McPhee.' Daisy's heart was pumping furiously.

  Cheryl couldn't help laughing. 'Bit jumpy, aren't we?'

  'I was just thinking about something.' She unconsciously ran her hand through her hair.

  'Obviously. Anything I can help with?' Cheryl held her head to one side as she spoke.

  'No, but thanks.' Daisy sat up straight, 'Anyway, did you need something?'

  'Just a few letters to sign, that's all. Shall I leave them with you?'

  'Great, thanks.'

  Cheryl turned away, making her way back to her desk.

  It was gone eleven when Daisy heard a knock on her door. She looked up, expecting to see Cheryl again, and was rewarded instead with the very welcome sight of Ryan, along with his cute lopsided smile. 'I was ready for a coffee, and I understand you have biscuits?'

  Daisy smiled back, her cheeks flushing at the same time as her stomach doing somersaults. In an instant, she didn't know whether she would be able to eat or drink anything with Ryan there. She did manage to compose herself enough to say, 'Well, I thought Jeffrey might have eaten the others.' She leaned forward in a conspiratorial manner, 'Do you think he was the one who hid them?'

  'I reckon so.' Ryan smiled at Daisy, and her heart almost fainted.

  'Would you like to sit down?' Her voice was soft and raspy.

  Ryan walked over to the chair opposite Daisy's desk, and sat down, looking around. 'I think this is the first time I've been in your office.'

  'Well, I don't usually need to see staff often, unless there's a problem. If you had been a naughty boy, I may have called you in by now.' Daisy felt the heat rush up her cheeks. Oh my god, did I really just say that? Please tell me this is a dream. I banged my head on the filing cabinet, and I'm currently lying on the office floor, passed out.

  A look passed over Ryan's face, and Daisy couldn't be sure whether it was surprise, embarrassment or amusement.

  Ryan wasn't quite sure what to say next. Daisy certainly seemed in a playful mood, but he wanted to be careful. After all, she was technically one of his managers. Before he had time to respond, Daisy spoke again, 'Sorry, um, I... Sometimes my mouth works before my brain kicks in. I've not had my coffee yet.'

  'I think that can be a good thing. Then you know what people are really thinking, before they have time to filter it.'

  Ryan's eyes creased up as he smiled, and now he was sitting opposite her, she realised how twinkly his eyes were. Daisy smiled back, and bit her lip. Now what?

  'Ooh, biscuits.' She opened one of the desk drawers, and took out a small container. 'I've got custard creams, and bourbons. I love bourbons.'

  Ryan smiled at her, reaching for the cust
ard creams. 'Thanks.'

  Daisy took a bourbon, and ate it in the same way she had since she was a kid. She bit the top off of it, leaving the bottom half with the cream filling to savour last. She noticed that Ryan was doing exactly the same with his custard cream, and they looked at each other, and laughed.

  They chatted a bit about nothing in particular, then Ryan said that he had better get back, before someone missed him. 'Thanks for the secret biscuits.'

  'There's Nanny McPhee again.'

  'Sorry?' Ryan looked confused.

  Of course, Ryan hadn't been in the office earlier when Daisy had mentioned it. 'Secret toast.'

  'I don't follow.'

  Daisy felt embarrassed now, 'Don't worry, it's a film. The one where Emma Thompson is the magical nanny.'

  'Oh, yes, I know the one. I haven't seen it, though.' He looked slightly apologetic.

  Daisy was wondering what on earth she was doing. They didn't have anything in common, and why would he have seen a kid's film. These days, most of the films Daisy watched were children's films, often chosen by Jess. Besides, sharing biscuits didn't exactly mean anything, did it. From now on, work is work, and that's that.

  Ryan's voice cut through her thoughts, 'Maybe we could watch it together some time.'

  Oh, she wasn't expecting that. 'Um, yes. Maybe.' Real cool, Daisy, what are you playing at. Was that a look of disappointment on his face at her offhand attitude?

  'Anyway, I'll catch you later. Thanks again.' He got up to leave.

  'You're welcome. Any time.'

  Daisy walked over to the door with Ryan, thinking that this wasn't going as well as she'd hoped. Maybe should she mention the film again, arrange a date. Oh, no, maybe not. That seems a bit formal, or a bit forward. Oh, I don't know.

  Ryan was thinking that maybe he'd read the signs wrongly. Maybe it was just about the biscuits after all. When he'd mentioned watching the film, she really didn't seem at all interested.

  As he turned to say goodbye, Ryan said, 'You've got a bit of biscuit on your face. Here, let me.' He gently touched the corner of her mouth with his thumb, looking into her eyes as he did so. The moment felt so intimate, and Daisy suddenly remembered Kate's advice at the club. Before she had time to think, Daisy began to lean forward, drawn towards Ryan's lips.

  'Hi, I just...' Cheryl came bursting through the door, and her face flushed crimson as she realised how bad her timing was. Daisy and Ryan. Wow.

  'Oh, Cheryl, you made me jump. Again.' Daisy's voice must have gone up three octaves. She wished the ground would swallow her up. Ryan didn't say anything for a moment, but he looked very embarrassed.

  'Well, I, um, better get back to my desk. Thanks for the biscuits.' Ryan shuffled hurriedly out of the office, and it was only after he had left that Daisy realised neither of them had had a coffee.

  'I am so sorry. If I'd had any idea...' Cheryl's words trailed off.

  'No, I'm sorry. We were just, I just... We'd run out of biscuits in the kitchen.'

  Daisy's shoulder's slumped, why was she even bothering trying to cover it up. It must have been quite obvious what was going on. Well, what was almost going on. Maybe Cheryl did her a favour, Ryan disappeared very quickly. If she had kissed him, and he hadn't kissed back, then what? It didn't bear thinking about. I must be crazy. No more Ryan fantasies.

  Cheryl's mouth was still hanging open, 'Oh my god, I had no idea. How long has it been going on?'

  'There's really nothing happening, I promise.'

  'It didn't seem like it from where I was standing. There's definitely something between you.'

  'Really?' Daisy's face lit up, and Cheryl laughed.

  'Yes, believe me. So, what are you going to do about it?'

  CHAPTER SIX

  The new programme at work was taking off. Daisy received most of the updates from the staff via email. Sometimes Cheryl would be working at her desk, to hear Daisy suddenly burst into unexpected laughter, as she read about some of the exploits of her colleagues. Gradually more staff were getting involved, as word of mouth spread throughout the various departments.

  One evening, Daisy was watching a dvd of Sesame Street with Jess after tea. It was a show that she had grown up with, and she loved that it was something she could share with her daughter. It may really be a pre school show, but Daisy was thrilled that Jess still loved it as much as she did. She couldn't help chuckling to herself, as Bert was helping Ernie to face up to doing something he was scared about.

  When Daisy was tucking Jess into bed that night, she started talking about the episode, and asked, 'Mum, do you ever get scared of doing things?'

  Daisy smiled at her daughter, 'Of course I do, darling. It's natural to get scared sometimes. Especially when it's something you've never done before.'

  Jess' eyes opened wide, and Daisy's heart melted as she looked at her. 'I didn't think adults got scared. Not really.'

  'It's usually for no good reason. It's often the thought of something that's scarier than the thing itself.'

  'Like when Ernie had to go to the dentist, then he ended up enjoying it.'

  'Yes, that's the kind of thing.'

  'And when you asked for pizza in a chocolate shop.'

  'Definitely that one! I was so nervous beforehand, and I felt amazing afterwards.'

  Then she shared some of the funny things people at work had done, and how well it had worked out.

  'What are you going to do tomorrow at work to make you brave?'

  'I don't know, darling. I don't do things every day, just sometimes when I get a good idea. Right, it's time to settle down to bed now.' Daisy leaned forward to kiss Jess goodnight.

  Sitting downstairs watching television that evening, Daisy did have an idea. The thing was, could she really be that brave to do it. It was one thing to make yourself look silly in a shop or walk around with a drawn on moustache, but to do something that could actually affect your life in some way. She really wasn't sure. She would have to sleep on it.

  Cheryl had been pestering Daisy for weeks now, and between Jess, Ernie and Bert, the nagging thought just wouldn't go away. Ryan had been away for a couple of weeks, but that morning, Daisy saw him walking along the corridor. She had forgotten just how cute he was. Well, not so much forgotten, as tried to forget, desperately trying to talk herself out of what she knew was somehow inevitable. After lunch. I'll have lunch with Cheryl, she can be the Bert to my Ernie, and I'll go from there.

  'Hello Ryan. How are you?' Daisy's voice came out much louder and more forceful than she had intended. They were in the kitchen, and Daisy was a bag of nervous energy.

  A smile played on Ryan's lips, 'I'm very well, thank you. How are you?'

  'Good, thanks. Good, good, good.' Stop grinning at him like an idiot. He'll think you're insane.

  'Busy day?' Ryan leaned back casually on the counter, in that way he had.

  'Yes, quite. Just needed a little break.' Oh no, what am I going to say next. Think, think, think.

  Ryan suddenly smiled, 'Did you come in to get more biscuits?'

  The words brought back the memory of his visit to her office, and how they had almost kissed. Well, how she had nearly kissed him. Daisy started to melt at the thought of it. Then she steeled herself to ask, 'Um, I was wondering. Would you like to go out to get biscuits sometime?'

  'You mean to stock up the cupboard here?' Ryan didn't want to jump to the conclusion that he hoped he was jumping to correctly, so he played it down.

  Daisy was wondering whether he was being cute or naive. Or maybe he was on a completely different wavelength. No, just forget it, it's a crazy idea.

  Then her mouth took over, 'No. I mean go out? For biscuits. I mean, coffee. Sometime, maybe, only if you're not too busy...' Daisy's voice trailed off.

  'I would love to.' Ryan's smile spread warmth across Daisy's chest, and she breathed out slowly and heavily. She hadn't realised she had been holding her breath until that point. Inside her head, she was cartwheeling, whooping and punching her f
ist high in the air. Outside, she was serious for a moment. 'Look, I should tell you, I have a daughter.'

  'Okay.'

  'I didn't know whether that might change anything.' Please let it not change anything.

  Ryan smiled, 'No. Why should it?'

  Phew. 'I don't know. I just wanted to be upfront.'

  'Okay, cool. How about we go to dinner Friday night?'

  'That will be wonderful.' Daisy was beaming.

  When Daphne called that week, Daisy had thought about not mentioning her upcoming date with Ryan. Firstly, she didn't want to jinx it, and secondly, she wanted to keep it to herself for a bit longer. There was a thirdly, though, the part of her which wanted to shout it from the rooftops! Anyway, why not tell her mum, it would make a change from the usual conversation. Even if it didn't work out, she was still going on a date.

  Daphne was thrilled, but then came the inevitable twenty questions. 'Mum, there's really not much to tell you yet. When we've been out, I'll see how it goes.'

  'You will be safe, won't you. You'll meet in a public place.' Her voice was full of concern.

  Daisy was exasperated, 'Mum, I know him from work. It's not a blind date!'

  'Okay, dear. I just want you to be careful. And happy.'

  Oh, here we go again.

  Back home from work on Friday, Daisy must have tried on about five outfits. With her pared down wardrobe, that was pretty much most of it, other than her work clothes. She was still between outfits when Stephen arrived to collect Jess for the weekend.

  'Hi Daise.' She wished he didn't call her that. That was for when they were a couple, not now.

  'Hello. Come in, Jess is nearly ready.' He seemed so tall in the small hallway.

  'Are you going out? You look lovely.'

  'Thank you. Yes, I'm going out later.'

  'With Eve?'

  The blush was instantaneous. 'No. Just a friend from work.'

  'Oh.' At that moment, before Stephen could ask any more, Jess came running out.