CHANGING THE PLAYER: Charleston Pirates #1

by Chance, Jacob

  When we’re in the kitchen, he grabs a bottle of water from the fridge, guzzling the whole thing down. “Do I have time to shower?” he asks.

  “Yes, your flight’s at five. Do you want me to pack a bag for you?” I follow him up the stairs and into his bedroom.

  “Please. Throw anything you think I’ll need in a bag. Everything’s in my closet.” He heads into the bathroom, and I grab a carry-on size suitcase with wheels from his massive walk in closet. Placing it on his bed, I unzip and open the top. There’s a good amount of space for what he needs to bring. I’m not sure how long he’ll be there for, so I pack enough for four or five days. I’m assuming he’ll have access to a washer and dryer at his parents’ house.

  In the bathroom, I rifle through the cabinet under the sink and discover a new toothbrush still in the wrapper. I also find travel sized tubes of toothpaste, shower gel, and shampoo. Jackpot. Anything else he can get while he’s there.

  He comes out of the bathroom wearing only a towel around his hips and I’m struck by how absolutely gorgeous he is. He’s painfully attractive--the I-can’t-believe-this-guy-is-for-real kind of good looks. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t usually notice his outward appearance as much because I know and care for him on a deeper level. Maybe even the deepest level, but I’m not quite ready to admit that to myself or him.

  My appreciation for how kind or how thoughtful he is means so much more to me than the fact that his strikingly handsome face belongs on a billboard.

  “You’re all packed. I’m going to make you something to eat while you get dressed,” I say.

  He walks over to me. I can see the pain in his eyes. His mind is already in Boston. He draws me to his chest, and I wrap my arms securely around him. “Thank you. You’re a lifesaver.”

  “It’s the least I can do. I’m so sorry about your grandfather.”

  “What happened?” he asks.

  “I’m so sorry. We rushed off so fast, I never even told you. He had a massive heart attack.”

  “Fuck.” His sigh is heavy.

  I tighten my arms around him. “It’ll be okay.”

  “I hope you’re right, but I don’t have a good feeling about this. He’s old and he’s been missing my grandmother since she passed. This might be too much for him to come back from.”

  “Just hope for the best and know that he loves you, no matter what happens.”

  “Yeah.” His reply is gravelly with emotion.

  I give him a squeeze and step back, my gaze on his face. His eyes are red and he looks like he’s lost. “Get dressed. Kendra will be here soon.”

  He nods. “Right.”

  “I’ll see you downstairs.”

  Kendra comes in as soon as I’m in the kitchen. I give her a hug and step back to see what kind of emotional state she’s in. Her eyes are rimmed in red and I can tell she’s been doing a lot of crying.

  “How are you doing?” I ask.

  “I just can’t believe Grandpa could die. I know he’s old, but I always imagined he’d be around for years to come.”

  “Don’t give up. He still could be.” I open Flynn’s fridge and take out lunch meat, mustard, and mayonnaise. Placing them on the counter, I grab the fresh loaf of bread and prepare some sandwiches for him. “Do you want one?” I ask Kendra.

  “No, I can’t eat anything right now. My stomach is too unsettled.”

  “It might help it feel better,” I offer.

  “I think I’ll fill my empty stomach with alcohol on the plane instead. It might make it easier to deal with seeing Grandpa hooked up to all those machines.”

  “It could make you even more emotional. Alcohol is a depressant,” I point out.

  “Well, right now I’m depressed, so that sounds like a good match.”

  I have no reply for her, so I wrap Flynn’s sandwiches up in foil and grab a couple bottles of water.

  His familiar footfalls come down the stairs and move closer until he’s in the kitchen with us. Kendra launches herself at him, sobbing uncontrollably. Holding her, he pats her back while looking helplessly at me. I tap my wrist to remind him of the time, and he sets Kendra away from him.

  “We need to get going or we’ll miss our flight,” he reminds her.

  She nods and swipes her fingertips under her eyes. “Yeah, you’re right.”

  “Flynn, I made you sandwiches and there’s water too.”

  “What would I do without you?” he asks.

  “Good thing you don’t need to know,” I joke, trying to lighten the somber mood.

  He cups my cheeks. “I’ll text you when we get there and call you when I know anything.” Leaning down, he lightly presses his lips to mine.

  “I wish I were going with you,” I tell him.

  “It’s okay.”

  Kendra clears her throat to get our attention. We’re dragging our goodbye out too long.

  “Safe travels,” I say.

  He raises my hand, pressing his lips against my skin. “We’ll talk soon.”

  22

  Flynn

  Kendra drives us to the airport, which gives me a chance to scarf down three of the sandwiches Nadia made for me. She’s a godsend to my life in every way. I’m not sure how we didn’t end up together before our arrangement started. I guess it’s one of those situations where I was busy looking past what was right in front of me all along.

  Balling up the leftover tin foil, I throw it to the floor.

  “Hey,” Kendra snarls. “Don’t throw your trash around my car. It’s bad enough I had to watch you eat those like a wild animal.”

  “I’m not going to apologize for all I eat. Practice was wicked hard and I worked up an appetite.”

  “Do you think Grandpa will hold on until we’re there?” Kendra asks, sounding more like a scared little girl than the grown woman she is. But as her older brother, I know she’s looking to me for reassurance.

  “If there’s a way for him to do it, he will.” That’s the best I have to offer. There’s a very real chance he won’t and we’ll never have a chance to say goodbye.”

  Kendra stops at a red light, sniffing and wiping her eyes. “God, this sucks.”

  “Yeah, it does.” My thoughts wander to how I had shared with Nadia a few weeks ago how much I missed him and wanted to go visit. And now it might be too late. Goddammit. Hang on, Grandpa. We’re on our way.

  * * *

  My parents greet us in the ICU waiting room with hugs. Under the circumstances, they seem to be holding up well.

  “What are the doctors saying?” I ask, cutting right to the heart of the matter.

  My dad shakes his head. “It’s not looking good. They rushed him into surgery earlier and found a blocked artery they had to stent. He made it through the surgery, but they’re having difficulty getting his heart rate to stabilize. The next twenty-four hours are crucial.”

  “Can we see him?” I question.

  “Press the buzzer and they’ll let you through the main door. His room is the first one on the right.”

  Kendra and I wordlessly follow our dad’s instructions. The door gets unlocked from the nurses’ station and we pass through, one step closer to seeing something neither of us is prepared for.

  I hate the smell of hospitals. It doesn’t matter what state I’m in, or even what country, they all have that same medicinal, stale air smell to them. It makes me want to hold my breath, but I’ll settle for breathing out of my mouth instead. I hate the gloomy feel to them with their drab, chalky walls and tiled floors. The sad loved ones roaming about the halls and waiting rooms are heartbreaking. Everything about being here is awful, especially the sight of my once larger-than-life grandpa lying in a hospital bed, connected to all kinds of tubes and machines.

  “Grandpa,” Kendra sobs his name. My hands clench the metal railing beside his bed until my knuckles turn white.

  “Hey, Grandpa. It’s Flynn and Kendra. We’re here.” There’s no reply aside from the incessant whirring of the machines k
eeping him alive. “You know, old man, if you wanted us to visit, all you had to do was ask.”

  Kendra laughs through her tears. “Some people will do anything for attention,” she adds, and we both chuckle. Some people would find our behavior to be odd, but not if they knew our grandpa. Almost every memory I have of him involves him smiling or laughing. He wouldn’t want us to lose our sense of humor, especially at a time like this.

  “Flynn, if you don’t mind, I’d like to have a few minutes by myself with Grandpa.”

  “I’ll be down the hall.”

  “I’ll get you when I’m done, so you can have a turn,” she says. A turn to say goodbye just in case he doesn’t make it. I hear the rest as if she said the words out loud.

  Stepping outside the room, I move down to the end of the hall and text Nadia.

  Me: We’re at the hospital now.

  Nadia: How is he?

  Me: The next twenty four hours are crucial, but he looks horrible.

  Nadia: I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help.

  Me: Just knowing you’re there helps.

  Nadia: Do you want me to fly up there and be with you?

  Hell yes, I do. But I won’t ask because this is something I need to handle myself. I can’t use her as a crutch forever. Moving forward, I need to be strong enough for the both of us.

  Me: No, there’s no point. But thank you for offering.

  Nadia: If you change your mind, let me know.

  Me: Where are you now?

  Nadia: At your house.

  I smile. I’m glad she’s there.

  Me: Now I’m going to picture you in my bed.

  Nadia: I’m not in your bed.

  Me: Not yet, but you will be.

  Nadia: Right now, I’m busy making notes about how you can add color to your house.

  Me: Color? Who said anything about color?

  Nadia: You said you wanted me to make design suggestions.

  Me: I do. That’s not color.

  Nadia: Of course it involves color.

  Me: Go easy with the color ideas.

  Nadia: I should cross pink curtains off the list?

  She’s adorable for making a joke. I know she’s worried about me.

  Me: You’re the only person who could get away with putting pink curtains in my house.

  I look up and Kendra is leaving Grandpa’s room.

  Me: I need to get back in and see my grandfather some more. I’ll try to call you later.

  Nadia: I’m thinking of you guys and praying for your grandfather.

  Me: Thank you.

  I put my phone in my pocket as Kendra reaches me. Her eyes are red and puffy and it’s obvious she’s been crying again. “Tag, you’re it,” she jokes before her face crumbles like a building being demolished. Pulling her to my chest, I let her cry all the tears she needs to. When she settles down, I return to his room to take my turn at his bedside.

  Holding his hand, I say, “Grandpa, this is not how I wanted my next visit with you to go. I was planning to come up here for a vacation as soon as my season ends.” Staring down at the person in the bed, it’s difficult to believe it’s my Grandpa. The skinny, frail body doesn’t even look like him. “Gramps, I hate seeing you like this. In my mind, you’ve always been indestructible. Even though I knew you were getting up there in years, you’ve always been so young at heart, it’s been easy for me to forget. But I shouldn’t have. I feel like an asshole for not getting up here to spend more time with you.”

  Releasing his hand, I sit down in the chair next to his bed. “I guess I’ll fill you in on what I’ve been up to. I have someone special in my life and I want to introduce you to her. She’s my agent, Nadia, and I’m sure I’ve mentioned her before. At first, we were pretending to date because my image needed some polishing. I know this won’t surprise you at all, Gramps, and you’re even proud of me for being the wild one that I am. Which is why you’ve always been my favorite person in the whole world.

  “Anyway, Nadia is smart and beautiful. She’s probably the nicest person I know, and right now you’re saying to yourself, what the hell is she doing with you, Flynn? And you’re absolutely right.” I nod as if we’re having a two-sided conversation. “At first, we were spending time together as part of a plan we devised, but the more time I spent in her company, the more my feeIings shifted and grew into something amazing. Something unexpected and life changing. And now, I’m in love with her, but I haven’t told her yet.”

  I shift my weight on the chair and cross my foot over my knee. “I’m waiting for the right time, Gramps. But when is the right time? How do I know? How did you know Gram was the one for you? I don’t have any experience with romance, but she makes me want to be a better man. And since you’re the best man I know, I’m using you as my role model. If you want to meet the woman who tamed my wild side, you’re going to have to stick around, old man.”

  My eyes watering, I close them and pinch the bridge of my nose until I get a grip on my emotions. Opening my eyes, I plant both feet on the tile and stand. I take hold of his hand again. “There’s nothing I want more than for you to stick around and watch me and my team win a Super Bowl. God knows you might be one hundred before it happens, though.” I laugh and then quickly sober.

  There’s still so much I need to say.

  Leaning over the railing, I get closer to him. He needs to hear me. This part will be the most important of everything I’ve said to him so far and also the most difficult.

  “As much as I want to keep you here with me for many more years, I don’t want you suffering. Gramps, aside from me telling you how much I love you, this is the most honest thing I’ve ever said to you. As painful as this is to say, I mean every word.” Dragging a long breath in through my nose, I search for the strength to say what I need to without breaking down.

  “Gramps, if you’re too tired and you don’t want to keep fighting, or you’re ready to go be with Gram, it’s okay. The world will go on without you. It won’t be the same and we’ll miss you like crazy, but Kendra and I will be okay. And I’ll continue to watch over her down in South Carolina.” I gently squeeze his hand. “But if you want to fight to get better, I’ll be fighting with you every step of the way. The choice is yours, Gramps. I want you to know I love you now and always will, no matter what your decision is.”

  Bending over, I press a kiss to his forehead. When I straighten back to my full height, I turn and leave the room. I don’t want to break down in front of him. I need to be strong for Gramps and show him that I’ll be okay. I want to be there for him like he’s always been there for me.

  Kendra is leaning against the wall by a pair of large windows that overlook a rooftop and the street below. She moves toward me the same time I start toward her and we meet with an anguish-filled hug.

  “I told him it’s okay to let go,” I confess, feeling guilty.

  “I did too,” she says, and we separate, both looking at the other with relief.

  “I can’t stand the thought of him suffering,” I explain.

  “Flynn, stop. You don’t need to justify what you said. That’s between you and Grandpa. You always were his favorite, you know.”

  “I know, but how did you?” I smile through my tears.

  “Because I was Gram’s favorite. She used to joke about how Mom and Dad had two kids, one for each of them to spoil.”

  “How did I never know that?”

  She pokes me in the side. “You’re a clueless guy,” she states matter-of-factly before adding, “like all the rest.”

  23

  Nadia

  “Flynn, how are you?” I ask, sitting up in his bed.

  “I’ve been better. My grandfather just passed away a few minutes ago. Fuck. How can this be real?”

  “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” I hug one of his pillows.

  “I don’t know what I am right now. I’m numb. It feels like a bad dream.”

  “I’m sure it does. Can I do anything for
you?”

  “No. There’s nothing that can be done. I’m not sure when I’ll be back.”

  “Do you want me to come there for the funeral?” It’s not ideal timing with all that I’ve got going on at work, but I’ll drop everything if he wants me there.

  “There isn’t going to be a wake or a funeral. He left instructions that he wanted to be cremated like my gram was, and he didn’t want any services because he saw everyone he wanted to see already.”

  My lips curve into a small smile. “He sounds like a character.”

  “He was. God, I’m going to miss him.”

  “I wish I could give you a hug right now,” I say.

  “Me too. I should probably get off the phone and check in on Kendra and my parents.”

  “Of course. Please send my condolences to them all.”

  “I will.”

  “Call me if you want to talk,” I say. “It doesn’t matter what time it is.”

  “I will, thank you. Night.”

  He hangs up before I can say anything else. Falling back on his bed, I hold his pillow close, pretending it’s him in my arms. I wish I could be there with him right now. I know he’s going to act like he’s fine, but he’s not going to be for a long time.

  * * *

  I haven’t heard from Flynn at all today and I just got back to his place after a long day at the office. I’m sure it felt even longer because I’ve been concerned about him. I know he’s busy, but how hard is it to answer a text?

  I don’t want to belittle his pain or what he’s going through, but I’m not the kind of person who can just forget about someone I care about. Especially when I know they’re concerned about me.

  After I change out of my work clothes, I make homemade pizza and salad. I even open the bottle of wine he bought for me, hoping it’ll make me feel closer to him. I hate that he’s all the way up in Boston and there’s nothing I can do to make this situation easier on him.

  He said he doesn’t need me there and I’m going to take him at his word. He’s a grown man. Besides, I barely know his parents, and it would be so awkward if I just showed up.