In Too Deep (Heart Lines)

by Larissa de Silva

  I swallowed. “I’m so sorry for your loss,” I said.

  “Thank you,” he replied.

  “So has she been quieter since then?”

  “I don’t know,” he said. “It happened sort of suddenly, and I think, ever since then, things haven’t been quite the same. I’m worried—I mean, I know it makes very little sense, but it just feels like somehow she’s more vulnerable to getting sick.”

  I nodded again. I would have to ask more about the family history, and I knew I was probably going to have to refer him to family therapy, but I couldn’t just spring that on him. “Do you mind if I ask you what happened?”

  “Cancer,” he said. “Pancreatic. Stage four by the time it was discovered.”

  I swallowed again. “I’m so sorry. That’s awful.”

  “Me too,” he said. “She was only thirty-six. I never expected I would be raising my child by myself.”

  I waited for him to say something else, mostly because I didn’t know what else to say.

  He smiled at me, a little sadly. “Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

  “You didn’t,” I replied. “When did it happen?”

  “Right before Christmas,” he said.

  I nodded, and looked down at the tablet in my hand, though I didn’t need to read anything. “Well, it’s an adjustment,” I said. “I doubt it’ll be affecting her physically, but you might notice some personality changes. Grief is extremely difficult for adults, and toddlers can’t really tell us how they feel about it.”

  He nodded, looking between Kelly and his child. “Well,” he said. “I’m doing grief therapy, and she’s doing play therapy. I don’t know if it’s helping.”

  I nodded again. “I completely understand,” I said. “It’s a process.”

  “Thank you,” he said, his expression softening a little. Then he crossed his arms over his chest. He licked his lips before he started speaking again. “I think Dr. Dayleview thought I was being paranoid, but I just want her to be okay.”

  “I understand,” I replied. “Well, let me examine her, but she looks like a happy, healthy little girl.”

  He smiled, but he still looked crushed.

  I leaned in before I could think about it. “Listen,” I said. “I don’t normally do this, but I understand your circumstances are a little different from the standard ones.”

  He raised his eyebrows.

  “I’m going to give you my personal phone number,” I said. “Texting me is easier if you have any questions, okay? I’m normally a little too busy to answer it. But if you think it’ll help…”

  “Thank you, Doctor,” he said, smiling at me, and this time, he did look a little better. “I really appreciate that.”

  “Do you have your phone?”

  “Yes,” he said. He grabbed it out of his pocket and was about to hand me a phone that was so big I could hardly fit it in my hands. He unlocked it first, before he gave it to me. “Thanks again. It’s been so difficult, we had to move right after she died, and it’s… it’s been an adjustment.”

  “I bet,” I said as I saw Kelly give me a look. “Okay. I’m going to examine your daughter now, alright, Mr…”

  “Wilde,” he said. “But you can call me Oscar.”

  I looked up at him, blinking.

  “It’s okay,” he said. “I’ll let you make a joke about it, since you’re my child’s doctor and everything.”

  I laughed. “I’ll refrain. Though it is curious.”

  “A highly recommended doctor, and very polite,” he said. “I don’t know what else I could’ve asked for.”

  “I’m very competent, Mr. Wilde,” I said, smiling at him.

  “Seriously,” he replied. “Oscar is fine.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  Oscar

  “You’re doing really well,” I told my little girl. She looked up at me with those huge brown eyes and furrowed her brow. “The doctor said you’re good and healthy. I’m sorry your nose has been stuffy lately.”

  She didn’t say anything.

  “Okay, well, I suppose you’re too little to care very much about the state of your health,” I said as I walked with her toward my car. “But you were very well-behaved, and that deserves a reward. What would you like?”

  She continued staring at me.

  “Okay, guess you’re tuckered out from the doctor,” I said as I put her in her chair in the backseat. She had always been a slight child, and she looked even smaller to me ever since Camila had died. She had gotten so big so quickly when she had first arrived into the world, but it felt like her mother’s death had cast such a great big shadow over us that her little body wasn’t able to keep growing. I knew I was being unreasonable—I knew it was just a strange connection that my mind had made, another thing I thought I might have power over. Another thing to discuss with my therapist, I supposed, as I buckled Tati up.

  “C’mon then, monkey,” I said. “Let’s get you home and then we can watch Moana together. How does that sound?”

  “Yes, Daddy!” she replied, waving her arms excitedly. I smiled back at her, kissed the top of her head, and got in the car.

  The drive wasn’t far, but our apartment was downtown, and there was a lot of traffic on the way. I pulled out of the garage and continued to wait in traffic. Traffic was one of my least favorites ways to spend time, but I was determined to spend as much time as I could with my child. It had taken me far too long to realize that the time I had spent with my late wife had been far too little, far too precious. I didn’t want to blink and miss anything that might have been important, not with my baby.

  I used to have chauffeurs to do this kind of thing, to go around and do my errands, but not anymore. Not since we had lost Camila. It had been hard. I noticed that I still had a lot of people do my chores for me, but that was okay, because they were the chores that would have cut into my time with my daughter. It took a lot, but I realized, when my wife died, that time is the most valuable commodity. It doesn’t matter how much money you have--I should know--because time is a gift. Every moment, every second. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.

  That’s what I told myself as I looked at my little girl in the back of the car. She was sleeping then, all tuckered out from her hard pediatrician appointment. I felt like taking a nap, too, but I had to get us home before I could do that. She coughed a little, tossing and turning in her little chair. My heart sank to my stomach. The doctor might not have found anything, but that didn’t mean a darn thing. All it might have meant was that she wasn’t there at the right time, or that the doctor didn’t see something obvious. That was what had happened with Camila so I didn’t see why it couldn’t happen with Tatiana.

  There was a part of me that wanted to turn back and have them look at her again. I told myself not to be paranoid. This wasn’t something I had control over, and there was no need for me to freak out. Not yet. Not until I took her to another specialist, because clearly, this one had fallen short.

  It was a shame, because I had liked her. She seemed smart, competent, and like she was good with children. She was certainly very good with Tati. Well, she had been good at handling her, but I didn’t think she necessarily was good at her job. Tati coughed again and I felt a cold shiver down my spine.

  Traffic had felt like it was bad before, but as soon as she started to cough, it seemed to slow down to a trickle. I hit every single red light, a random car cut me off several times, and there was a long line before I could get into the covered parking lot that was parallel to our building. By the time I was unbuckling her, I felt myself ready to throw up.

  I held her close, and she stirred, and smiled. “Hey, Daddy,” she said. I hugged her tight. She laughed, but she squirmed in my arms. “You’re squeezing too hard.”

  I loosened my grip on her. “Are you okay, monkey?”

  “I’m good,” she said. “Moana?”

  “Right. Let’s go,” I said. I kissed the top of her head, mostly to see
if she was warm, but she wasn’t. She didn’t cough again, and it felt like my anxiety subsided a little bit. Not much, just enough to get her to the elevator and go upstairs. She didn’t say anything. She seemed to be fine, not even restless or cranky. She wasn’t warm, she wasn’t complaining, and she wasn’t coughing anymore. I told myself I had been paranoid. Still, I took my phone out of my pocket, and looked at Dr. West’s phone number and contact card. I wondered if her offer had been sincere. I didn’t want to have to call her, but I didn’t know if I was going to have much of a choice.

  “Daddy?” Tati said, looking up at me.

  “Yes, baby?”

  “You look sad,” she said.

  I bit my lower lip, and tried to stop myself from crying. Every time she noticed how sad I looked, it made everything a lot harder. “I’m okay,” I said. “I’m just tired. I had a big day too.”

  She gave me a hug, and my eyes filled with tears. “We’ll watch the movie together,” she said, parroting something I’d told her a million times. “It won’t help forever, but it’ll help for a little bit, and that’s all we need.”

  KEEP READING THE BARON AND THE BABE

  If you like this story, go ahead and join my mailing list for a FREE SEXY STORY! It’s full of sexy stories full of heart like this one, freebies, and previews. You won’t hear from me too often at all, only when I have fun and sexy things to share.

  You wouldn’t want to miss out, and all it takes is a couple of clicks.

  If you liked this book, you’ll also like:

  The Perfect Present

  The Baron and The Babe

  Guard My Heart

  Dr. Bully And The Secret Baby

  Brother’s Best Friend (M.D)

  You might also like this series by Larissa de Silva:

  The Healing Process (The Ghosts Of Thornbridge Keep Boook 1)

  Author’s Note

  Thank you so much for reading my book.

  I love writing stories about love. I think they’re beautiful and fascinating. I think there are so many facets of romance left unexplored, and I’m so grateful that you decided to read this book and spend a little bit of your time getting lost in a universe I helped create.

  I say help because it would be a lie to say I’m bringing these characters to life all by myself. They already exist—it’s just my job to bring them out of my head and into the world!

  I really appreciate your time and support.

  If you would like to support these characters, and this deep love I have for romance, for strong, passionate women, and for sexy, sensitive and strong men, here are a few things you can do:

  Leave me a review. If you want, you can leave me a review before the book is officially released. Just drop me a line at larissadesilvaauthor@gmail.com and I will make that happen.

  Connect with me on social media. I have a Facebook account and I’m bad at checking it, but I love making new friends!

  Sign up to my mailing list. You can get a free story right now here.