Order and Chaos

by Willow Rose

  "Anyone would have done the same," I said. "How could you leave a child at the station?"

  "Exactly. I fed the boy and put him to bed. I had an old extra bed from back when my daughter still lived with me every now and then, before her mom…took her to Europe with her and I never saw her again."

  Mr. Ward paused to gather himself. This was a touchy subject for him; I could tell.

  "I'm sorry," he said and looked up at me. "I’m not used to talking to anyone about these things. It's been so many years since it all happened. I get a little…soft."

  "It's okay," I said. "I don't mind."

  "I think that after all these years…it's good to finally talk about it, you know?"

  I nodded. "I hope so."

  Mr. Ward's face grew serious again. His eyebrows wrinkled. "The next thing I remember is…well, I’m walking up my street toward my house. I’m still in my PJs, and I feel so…so confused. As I walk inside the house, the boy isn't there. But that's not the strangest part of it all."

  I looked up, and my eyes met his.

  "It’s not?"

  He shook his head. "No, the strangest part was that five months had passed, and I had no recollection of them whatsoever."

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Robyn wasn't in school, again. Amy was beginning to get seriously worried about her best friend. Robyn had been so thrilled to be allowed back into ordinary school again, and now she was risking losing it all. Amy sure hoped she was sick because if she was skipping school again and her mom found out, well then it was right back to homeschooling.

  "Why do you do this to yourself, Robyn?" Amy mumbled and looked around in the cafeteria to make sure she wasn't on her way or maybe stuck talking to someone else, like Alondra.

  Jayden came over and sat down with a deep sigh. "Robyn's not here…again," he said.

  "I know," Amy said, then smiled as she spotted Kipp. She waved, but he didn't wave back. Amy's blood turned to ice as she watched him walk to his usual table where all the cheerleaders were waiting for him, giggling as they spotted him.

  "I don't know what she's up to," Jayden said. "Why she's never in school anymore."

  Amy turned to look at him quickly. "You don't know? Are you really that clueless?"

  She turned to look at Kipp, who was laughing and chatting with Britney, the head of the cheerleading clan, the worst of them all. Amy huffed, and a small gust of smoke emerged from her nose. Embarrassed, she waved it away.

  "What do you mean?" Jayden asked.

  She looked at him again. "Jayden. Wake up. She's terrified of seeing you. Don't you get it?"

  He looked puzzled. "Not really."

  "The day we met at the lake. We talked about Ruelle maybe being innocent, and then you just took off. Like you had completely changed your mind. Robyn is terrified to face you again and that you won't want her anymore."

  Jayden shook his head. "She shouldn't worry about that."

  Amy lifted her eyebrows. "Really? You're telling me you're not thinking about Ruelle and how she might be innocent?"

  Jayden chuckled goofily. "Not really."

  Amy couldn't believe how transparent he was, trying to act all cool about it. He was such a boy sometimes. She shook her head, then ate her burrito. When she glanced toward the cheerleaders’ table once again, Kipp wasn't there anymore.

  Where did he go?

  "Hi there," a voice said behind her.

  She turned her head and looked into the dazzling eyes of Kipp. He was smiling from ear to ear. Amy felt weak in her knees from looking at him.

  "You have room for me?"

  Amy almost choked on her burrito when he leaned over and kissed her on the lips. The entire cafeteria stopped what they were doing and stared at them. A couple of cheerleaders shrieked in the background. Amy was almost certain she heard Britney cry.

  As Kipp let go of her lips, he smiled and whispered, "Is that how you wanted it?"

  She swallowed. "S-something in that direction."

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  "You had amnesia?"

  I stared at Mr. Ward, my heart thumping in my chest.

  He shook his head. "I…I don't know what to call it."

  "But you don't remember anything," I said. "Isn't that amnesia?"

  "I guess you could call it that. I quickly realized something was wrong and went to my doctor and that was what he said too. That I could have hit my head or something and that was why. He ordered me to bed to rest for a few weeks, and when I realized it didn't help anything, I returned to my job and pretended like nothing had happened. I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't want to risk losing my job."

  He sighed and looked away for a second before our eyes met again. "There is something else," he said heavy-heartedly. "Something I never told anyone. I never thought I would, but I think it needs to get into the light. It has been bothering me ever since, tormenting me at night. I think it’s time. I need to get it off my chest."

  I swallowed. "Okay?"

  A deep sigh followed, and his gaze hit the floor. "L…later on…months later…" He stopped and looked up at me again. I held my breath, waiting. The look in his eyes told me this was something big. I braced myself for what he was about to tell me.

  "I used to have a dog. A black lab. Pepper was his name. One day, about four or five months later, I had let Pepper run out in the backyard, and when I looked at him through the window, I realized he was digging down by the old magnolia tree. He wasn't allowed to dig, so I went out on the back porch and was about to yell at him when I realized the dog had something in his mouth. Thinking it was a dead bird or something nasty, I rushed to him and pulled it out of his mouth…and that was when it hit me. I was standing with a bone in my hand. Having been in the force for most of my adult life, I knew very well what a femur—a human thighbone—looked like. And from the length of it, I also knew it didn't belong to an adult."

  I stared at Mr. Wade, not blinking.

  "Timothy Reynolds?"

  Mr. Wade nodded. His eyes grew wet. "At first, I thought it had to be something else, someone else, but then I found a piece of clothing and I recognized it as the PJs Timothy Reynolds had been wearing. They had little airplanes on the fabric."

  I gasped lightly. "And what did you do?"

  He threw out his arms. "What could I do? I had no recollection of what had happened. I had no idea whatsoever what might have happened to the boy, and of course I…"

  He stopped and pushed back tears.

  "You feared you had hurt him somehow?" I asked.

  He nodded. A tear finally escaped his right eye, and after that, there was no turning back. Tears were streaming down his old furrowed face.

  "I was certain that I had to have blacked out somehow and hurt the boy. I couldn't recall drinking or anything, but I figured it had to be something like that. So, I kept it to myself. Out of fear. I never should have. I know that now, but it sort of just happened. The poor family never…knew what happened to their son. I feel such deep shame."

  "And it has been torturing you ever since, I bet."

  "Sure has," he said with a loud sniffle. "It broke me completely. I started drinking and found it hard to do my job. I lost the woman I loved, a girl I had just started seeing. I almost lost my mind." He took in a deep breath. "Anyway, that's my awful story. You're the first one ever to know."

  I stared at my notes for a few seconds, then looked up at Mr. Ward again while processing all this information.

  "Well, thank you so much; you've been very helpful," I said and got up, realizing the school day was almost over and I needed to head back in order to get home in time for my parents not to know I hadn't been in school. Lucky for me, my mom was at Duncan's castle, so she couldn't watch me like a hawk as usual. My dad would probably never know. He was way too busy taking care of mom's business on his own while she was gone.

  "I hope you got what you came for," he answered and walked me out.

  "I’m not quite sure exactly what I was looking
for," I said, standing in the doorway. "But something tells me I got closer."

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  I was in my room, staring toward Jayden's house, wondering about him and us when my phone made a sound. It was Amy.

  "Are you never coming to school again?"

  "I’m sorry. I just couldn't. I needed to…I went to see that policeman I told you about."

  "The one who claimed he found Timmy?" Amy asked.

  "Yes."

  "And what did he tell you?" Amy asked.

  I told her everything Mr. Ward had told me and how he had cried when he had told me the part of finding the boy's bones in his backyard. Amy went quiet for a very long time after I’d finished before she spoke.

  "So…he killed Timmy Reynolds?" she asked.

  I sighed. "I don't think he did. I don't really know what to believe anymore, but he just didn't…seem like he would be capable of killing a child if you know what I mean?"

  "It's not like killers have a sign on their forehead or a tell," Amy said.

  "I know. I know," I said pensively. "I just can't stop thinking about…that amnesia thing. Jayden's dad, Jazmine's mom, and Ruelle. They all had big gaps in their memories."

  "Yeah, so?"

  "Mr. Ward had that too. He had months where he couldn't remember anything. The doctor believed he had hurt himself or that it might have been stress and ordered him to rest, but it didn't come back. The memory never came back to him."

  "Maybe because he killed a kid," Amy said. "He might have blacked out or somehow repressed it. I’ve heard about people doing such awful things that the brain simply blocks it out, so they can't remember anything afterward. It's a real thing."

  I nodded and stared at Jayden's house, where I spotted his mom walking outside in her workout outfit, then starting to jog toward the park. I wondered about my own mom for a few seconds and how she was doing at Duncan's castle. We had decided not to see one another for a little while, in case the spiders were watching me. I risked leading them directly to her and Grams. It was odd, but I kind of missed having my mom around. Not all the bad stuff and awful food, but I missed things being normal.

  As I looked out the window, lost in my train of thought, something jumped down outside from the roof. I shrieked loudly as whatever it was bumped against the window in front of me.

  "Oh, that scared me," I said, clasping my chest.

  "What? What's going on?" Amy asked.

  I stared at the animal on the other side of the window. Its yellow eyes stared back at me as it placed its paw on the glass.

  "What is it, Robyn?"

  "BamBam?" I said and walked closer. "It's Jazmine's cat."

  "What's it doing at your house?" Amy asked.

  "It might have gotten lost or something," I said and stared at the cat through the glass.

  Was it knocking on the window?

  "I…I think it wants me to let it inside," I said and grabbed the handle. I opened the window, and the cat jumped at me, up on my shoulder. I screamed and tried to get it off, but the cat clung onto me with its sharp claws, piercing my clothes and skin. The cat screamed and meowed while I turned and spun, trying to get it off my back.

  "What's going on over there?" Amy yelled into the phone.

  "The cat. It's attacking me!" I yelled and finally managed to grab it by its neck, then pull it off and throw it across the room. The cat screamed and landed on my bed on all fours. It hissed and stared at me with fierce eyes. I stared back, panting.

  "That cat is crazy," I said and touched my arm where it had scratched me. Some of the scratches were bleeding.

  "It probably just misses Jazmine," Amy said.

  "Maybe," I said and stared at it angrily. "Listen. I should go. I need to get the cat back home where it belongs before someone gets hurt. Talk to you later."

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  The cat was screaming and meowing and hissing at me as I carried it across the cul-de-sac toward Jazmine's house. It kept fighting to get out of my grip, and the screaming was so loud it made me want to yell too.

  I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. Jazmine's aunt opened the door. She looked tired. The cat went even more berserk as I tried to hand it to her.

  "I found this one outside my window," I said and tried to hand it to her. The cat wailed and hissed as Jazmine’s aunt took it from me.

  "I’m sorry. It’s been acting strangely since yesterday," she said and shushed the cat as it started to weep again.

  "Maybe it senses what's going on," I said.

  She nodded. "Could be. Cats are so sensitive."

  "Any news?" I asked hopefully.

  She shook her head. "Briana has been allowed to come. It'll be done next week. In the afternoon."

  I swallowed, the lump growing in my chest. "C-can we come?"

  She gave me a look. "You sure you want to?"

  I nodded. "I want to say goodbye."

  "Okay. Then I see no harm."

  I choked back my tears. "All right, then…"

  BamBam let out an ear-piercing scream, then wiggled himself out of Aunt Tina's grasp. With what sounded like he was crying, he ran into the living room behind her.

  "You'd almost think he knew what we were talking about, huh?" Aunt Tina said.

  "Sure seems like it," I said, wiping away a tear from the corner of my eye.

  I left aunt Tina and, as I walked back, I couldn't hold back my tears any longer. They were streaming across my cheeks. I started to run and didn't even look where I was going. I bumped right into Jayden's mom, who was coming back from her run in the park behind the neighborhood.

  "Whoa, there," she said and grabbed me before I fell. "Are you all right?"

  I looked at her, then burst into tears. She grabbed me in her arms and held me tight while comforting me.

  "What's going on, sweetheart?"

  "Everything is just so…they're going to shut her off."

  "There, there. Relax, baby. Breathe."

  "I just don't…how can they turn her off just like that?"

  "I take it you're talking about Jazmine?" she asked.

  I nodded with a sniffle. "Well…I guess there isn't any more the doctors can do for her at this point."

  "I just…I feel so…" I stopped myself and looked at her. "I'm sorry. I just feel so…"

  "Lost? We all feel that from time to time, but especially these days. Things aren't like they used to be around here anymore."

  She looked toward number three, where the spider-men were standing in the driveway looking our way. It felt like they were constantly observing our every move.

  "Hopefully, it'll get better soon," she said, trying to sound reassuring, but with no success. Fact was, we were all losing hope at this point. It was hard to see how this was going to end well for any of us.

  Chapter Fifty

  They were making out. It was the middle of the night, but Amy didn't care. She had decided she was ready to go all in with Kipp. He had proven to her that he wanted to be with her and had shown it to the entire school. That was good enough for her to feel like she could trust him. She was ready to admit that she loved him and wanted to be with him.

  He had thrown small splashes of water on her window right after midnight, then asked her if she wanted to go out with him. She knew it was against her parents’ rules since they had told them to stay inside at night with everything that was going on, but what could she say? It was Kipp. How could she say no to him?

  So, they had snuck out and had run down to the lake. Now they were making out by the shore while the water behind them raged. The more excited Kipp got, the more it roared behind them, and by now it almost looked like an ocean with its big waves splashing in over them.

  "You're the most beautiful girl I have ever seen," he said between moans and kisses.

  Hearing him say those words aroused Amy. No one had ever told her she was beautiful before, especially not someone who looked like Kipp.

  Amy moaned as he kissed her neck an
d touched her breasts lightly. She closed her eyes and enjoyed his touches but couldn't really control her excitement. As she moaned, it soon turned to a roar and huffs and, seconds later, she was lying in the grass, a full-blown dragon. In front of her, she had set a small bush on fire.

  Amy's eyes grew wide as she stared at Kipp, embarrassed. "I'm…I'm…so sorry."

  Kipp looked at Amy, then at the bush. He reached up his hand and splashed water on top of it to put out the fire, then he stared at Amy's dragon, eyes wide. She felt so naked, so exposed. Was he turned off by her suddenly turning into her dragon? He had to be, right?

  "I know this isn't…exactly…"

  He smiled, then shushed her. He signaled for her to bend down, then touched her face.

  "I…I actually think I like you even better like this," he said, staring deep into her eyes.

  She exhaled, relieved, as he put his feet in the water and his tail grew out. There they now were, in the light of the moon, staring at each other the way Mother Nature had created them, and they both loved every second of it.

  Amy, who had been so terrified of this happening because she still couldn't quite control when it happened and if it happened, felt the greatest relief. She had always felt like her dragon was something she needed to hide from the world, an embarrassment, something people would point fingers at, a monster even. She grabbed him by his waist and lifted him out of the water, then kissed him, closing her eyes. Kipp kissed her back, his fishtail wiggling beneath him. It was the most intense moment of Amy's life, so intense she hardly heard the growling sound sneaking up behind them.