Steel

by Jeanne St. James

  Simple.

  Even now, she answered to herself and, in a way, to Berger. But that was it.

  She made her own money. She wrote her own destiny.

  And she hated that this stalker had any control over her life. Even a sliver.

  Her head snapped up and her heart began to pound when one of the French doors opened and shut behind her. She forced herself to remain where she was and not turn to watch him approach.

  “Didn’t have you do extra cardio at the gym because after our intense sparring, swimming will be better.”

  He was right behind her and she was reluctant to turn around to see what he was wearing. Or not wearing.

  She pursed her lips. Had the Nevada heat just kicked up a notch?

  He stepped into the narrow space between her and the pool. “D’you hear me?” He tilted his dark head and squinted at her since the sun was still high in the sky.

  “Are those your swim trunks?” she asked as if in a trance, suddenly having a hard time swallowing.

  “I didn’t bring swim trunks,” he said, his brow going low. “I didn’t plan on going swimming. This isn’t a vacation.”

  She pushed, “Then what are you wearing?” past her dry throat as she struggled not to stare at his bulging thighs—and other things—that the silky olive-green short shorts he wore did not cover sufficiently. She was also trying to avoid staring at his hairless bare chest.

  In fact, she wasn’t sure where the hell to look besides her feet or the sky.

  “Silkies. We run in them.”

  “We?” she squeaked. How the hell did anything important stay in those shorts when men ran? Impossible.

  “We, as in us Marines.”

  With the way he said “us Marines” with pride, she expected him to add an oorah to the end of it. “You were a Marine,” she murmured like she had a loss of oxygen to her brain and could only repeat things mindlessly.

  His brow dropped lower. “Yeah. Is the fucking sun getting to you, or what?”

  “No,” she forced past her lips.

  “Well, you’re all fucking flushed like you’re overheating.”

  Yes, because she was wondering what those shorts would look like once they were wet. Which was stupid because she had seen him naked when he jumped into the pool yesterday. So, if she tried hard enough, she could picture what they’d look like.

  The problem was, picturing that was making her even hotter and she’d rather see the real thing.

  What the hell was wrong with her?

  She needed to get into the pool and let the water cool off not only her heated skin but her thoughts.

  When he snapped his fingers in front of her face and barked, “Kat! Snap out of it!” she startled and instinctively reacted, putting her hands up and shoving him away from her.

  However, with him standing at the edge of the pool and not expecting quite that reaction, he lost his balance and snagged her wrist as he fell backward.

  Kat gasped as he pulled her with him over the edge and they both hit the water. Well, Steel hit the water first. She hit Steel before hitting the water.

  Her gasp caused her to suck in a lungful of water as they both went under in a tangle of arms and legs. Before she could get her head above the water, he broke the surface pulling her with him with a few strong kicks.

  She coughed, trying to empty her lungs of the chlorinated water and fill them with air.

  “What the fuck, Kat!”

  He hauled her to the edge where she held on until she could breathe somewhat freely again. Only Steel’s arm remained around her middle like a steel band, as if he was worried she’d go back under since they were in the deep end.

  “I’m fine. You can let me go,” she managed. Sort of. She coughed once more to clear her air passage.

  However, now she was having trouble breathing, not because of inhaling water, but because he had his body pressing hers against the side of the pool. His massive naked and wet chest was glued to her almost naked back.

  “Let me go.”

  “Not until you explain why the fuck you pushed me into the pool.”

  She told him the truth. “You startled me when you snapped your fingers in front of my face.”

  “You were out of it.”

  “I was not.”

  “Your eyes were glazed over.”

  Maybe that was true. A little drool might have been accumulated at the corner of her mouth, too. Hopefully, he hadn’t noticed.

  “I’m just tired.”

  “Bullshit. We sparred for less than a half hour.”

  “It was the hardest I’ve sparred in a long time.”

  “Again, bullshit.”

  He forced her to turn until her back was pressed against the side of the pool and they were now chest to chest. Literally chest to chest. He was lower in the water and she could feel the silky fabric of those shorts swirling against her thighs as he clung to the side against her.

  “When are you going to admit it?” He was eye to eye with her and he grabbed her chin when she tried to look away.

  “Admit what?” She shoved at his chest, but she didn’t have good leverage since they were too close, so he didn’t even budge. “Give me some space.”

  “Why, Kat? Why do you need space? Is being this close affecting you?”

  “No.”

  “Once again, bullshit.”

  “You’re so fucking cocky.”

  “And you’re so fucking stubborn.”

  “You think I’m stubborn because I won’t fall to your feet and suck your cock, just like every other man has expected from me? Give a woman a little bit of attention and then expect her to spread her legs out of gratitude?”

  His brows slid together. “What?”

  “And then get pissed when she doesn’t.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  “You. Men! All of you.”

  “I’m not asking you to do shit out of gratitude. What’s wrong with you?”

  Kat closed her eyes to avoid his intense gaze. She could see his anger bubbling up and she was throwing out every excuse she could think of to get him to back off.

  But in truth, she didn’t want him to back off.

  She wanted him to push forward.

  She wanted to be able to let go. To accept anything he was willing to give her.

  Because, also in truth, she needed it.

  She’d been wound so tight for so long, she needed a release.

  She needed an escape. To forget, even for a little while, all the weight that had been placed on her shoulders since she started competing.

  And, for shit’s sake, she was the one who put it there. She was the one to blame.

  Not Berger, not her competitors. Nobody but her.

  She was the one who continued to push herself hard, sometimes to the point of breaking. Because she had to prove everyone wrong. Every fucking person who had ever doubted her.

  But not once in the last few days he’d been in Boulder City, had Steel doubted her. Not once.

  And she kept being a bitch to him. Even though he was willing to step in and help her when he didn’t need to.

  Even so, she couldn’t let him see her crumble. To weaken. Because that would be a mistake.

  It would also make her vulnerable. And she couldn’t allow that.

  Because if he found that loose string inside her and pulled it, everything might just unravel.

  And then what would be left? Nothing but a tangled mess.

  Chapter Seven

  Steel watched Kat carefully. Even though she had her eyes closed and her head turned away, her body had tensed against him and her face showed her internal struggle.

  He had no idea what she was fighting.

  But he could understand it.

  He’d done it. And he’d seen the men around him do it, too.

  She was fighting some sort of demon, but he didn’t know what and he was pretty fucking sure she’d never tell him.

  And that was f
ine. Everyone had their secrets. Things that might never see the light of day.

  But, for fuck’s sake, he had this crazy urge to dig that shit out from deep within her and make it right.

  He had this feeling that it was her against the world. She was dealing with shit alone. Yeah, family in Indiana had been mentioned but not once since that first day he walked into The Strike Zone had she taken a call or received one from family.

  She’d talked to no one that he’d been aware of.

  Yeah, she had Berger, but he was paid.

  Just like Steel was being paid.

  The two people closest to her right now were on her payroll.

  And then, of course, there was the fuckstick stalker. The whole reason Steel was there in the first place.

  Her face was still turned away, her eyes squeezed shut, her jaw tight, when he leaned in even closer, putting his mouth just to her ear. He asked in a low whisper, “What’s wrong, Kitty Kat?”

  A shudder swept through her, one that rippled the water around them. And as her head whipped back to face him and her eyes opened, he backed off just enough to give her a little space but not enough to let her escape.

  “What’s wrong?” She. Was. Pissed. “It’s you, all right? You’re what’s wrong with me.” Her hand flew up out of the water, splashing them both as she circled it in front of him. “It’s all this. It’s you. What you’re wearing. Everything about you.”

  No, not pissed. Frustrated. And maybe a little pissed, too. He didn’t even bother to fight the slow grin that crept over his face. “Yeah?”

  So, she wasn’t immune to him.

  “Yeah! And now you’re going to ride that pony to death, aren’t you? You’re going to whip it until it stumbles and falls and you’re going to have to shoot it to put it out of its misery, aren’t you?”

  “Are you the pony I’m riding?”

  She rolled her eyes. “That’s what you got out of all of that?”

  “No, but I’m kind of liking that scenario.”

  “Of course you would. You think you’re irresistible.”

  “And that’s where you’re wrong, Kitty Kat.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Stop calling me that.”

  “It fits you. Light on your feet. Powerful. Beautiful. Smart. Also, at times aloof but definitely independent. I bet you like to play when you’re in the mood and when you do, you do it hard. And I bet with the right attention, you purr, too. Do you purr, Kitty Kat?”

  “You forget the part where I bite when provoked.”

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” He lifted his fingers to his mouth, drawing her eyes there. “But I didn’t forget.”

  Even when he dropped his fingers, her gaze remained on his lips. He let them curve upward and she slowly raised her eyes to his.

  “What do you need, Kitty Kat?”

  He held his breath waiting for her answer when her mouth opened. Then it snapped shut and her eyes became guarded.

  “Are you going to deny yourself something you want?”

  “You think what I want is you?”

  “You can use me, Kat, however you’d like. I won’t judge.”

  “Everybody judges.”

  “Not me. Not in this case. You want to use me to get something you need? I volunteer. You can use me hard and I won’t break. You want to bite me, scratch me, hit me, hold me down and dominate me, I’ll allow it. This one time only.”

  Her eyes had widened slightly as he made his offer. “Why would you let someone hurt you?”

  “Not someone, you.”

  “Why me?”

  He ignored that question. “If you want me to take control, be rough with you, be gentle with you, any way you want it, you just say the word, Kat. I’m up for anything.”

  “Again, why?”

  “Because I want it, too.”

  “I’m sure you can find somebody else to—”

  He cut her off. “I don’t want somebody else. I want you.”

  “You shouldn’t.”

  “And you think you shouldn’t want me, either. But you do.”

  Her lips parted and a shuddered breath escape. “I don’t want to.”

  “But you do.” He smothered his grin. He was working way too hard for this and if he grinned now, she was going to shut down and say no.

  He wrapped his fingers around her waist and lifted her out of the pool to sit her on the edge. She didn’t fight him, but she didn’t help, either.

  He watched the water sluice down her body. She had ditched the bikini like he’d asked and wore a two piece that covered her the same as a one-piece. This one was black and basic and designed for serious swimming.

  She was supposed to be doing laps right now.

  She should be doing laps.

  But, no, instead Steel stood in the pool between her knees as she sat on the edge. Not moving away.

  But still, like a bird waiting to take flight.

  In one way, this woman had strength and determination, but in another she was unsure of herself. Of the people around her.

  Which sucked.

  If you didn’t have people you trusted at your back, you had nothing.

  His team and Diesel had his six. Kat might have Berger, but not completely. Steel didn’t trust him one hundred percent and he was good at reading people. That was one reason he came home in one piece from the Middle East and not in a box covered in an American flag.

  “One time offer to do what you want to me, Kat.” Fuck, he was so fucking hard hoping she’d take the offer.

  She avoided his eyes when she said, “I can’t.”

  “Didn’t realize ‘can’t’ was in your vocabulary.” With disappointment, he pushed away from the pool’s edge and moved to a spot where he could pull himself out of the water.

  After he did so, he walked closer to Kat, who still sat there, now staring at the pool. When she didn’t look up at him, he said, “Half hour of laps. Start now, I’ll be back out when your time is up.”

  Then he went inside to give her space.

  He turned to make sure she followed his instructions and it surprised the fuck out of him when she did. She slipped back into the water and with an easy pace, began to swim freestyle from one end to the other.

  From where he stood, he could see she was a good swimmer. And because of the stalker, he wasn’t going to leave her unattended long. Just long enough to change out of his wet Silkies and into dry clothes.

  If he stayed in the pool with her, he would keep pushing her to admit what she wanted. He didn’t have a condom on him anyway, even if she said yes. Fucking her without one would be stupid. She tempted him too much, and he needed to keep his head on straight.

  Plus, if she gave in and then had second thoughts afterward, she might run to Berger and his ass would be on the next flight back to Pittsburgh. Then Diesel would rip off his head and shit down his neck at that loss of money.

  He wanted her but he could wait until she was ready. Because he had no doubt that time was coming.

  He was watching her. She just didn’t know from where inside the house. After his shit-fit at her going outside without him the other day, there was no way he’d leave her outside and not be watching.

  He in no way reminded her of someone who was careless. He took his job seriously. And he could be intense.

  She had almost taken him up on his offer earlier. She’d been so close.

  But she didn’t want to do anything she’d regret later.

  She kept having to tell herself that having sex with him would be a mistake. How could they keep a professional relationship after that? How could she stay in the house with him afterward? It could—no, would—get uncomfortable.

  She didn’t want Berger to have to hire another bodyguard when they had a perfectly good one already. One who was also willing to get her ready for her upcoming bout with Calamity Jayne.

  And right now, that’s where her concentration should be. Not on the damn stalker. Not on the man who was making her fe
el things she’d never felt before.

  The whole half hour she swam, she couldn’t get her mind off what “using him” would entail.

  Hell, in truth, she wouldn’t even know where to start. Even so, she felt that deep-seated need to do it anyway.

  However, she’d probably fumble through it and he’d laugh at her.

  If you want me to take control, be rough with you, be gentle with you, any way you want it, you just say the word, Kat. I’m up for anything.

  She pulled herself over the edge of the pool to find the lounge chairs empty. He never did come back out, even though she swore she did laps for more than a half hour. In fact, after the first few warm-up laps, she had pushed herself until both her muscles and lungs burned. But she continued until she had nothing left. Until the frustration, not only from the situation the stalker had forced her into, but also at wanting Steel had dissipated.

  But had it really?

  She was disappointed he hadn’t come back out, because she would not go to him. He would have to be the one to take what he wanted.

  What they both wanted.

  Because she had no idea what she wanted when it came to sex.

  None.

  Especially with a man like Steel.

  She grabbed the towel from where she’d thrown it on one of the chairs earlier and wiped down her hair and face, then dried off the rest of her body. She threw the towel over her shoulder and went inside.

  When the cool air conditioning hit her damp skin, she shivered. The kitchen was empty, only the hum of the over-sized stainless-steel built-in refrigerator greeting her.

  She worked her way through the house and up the steps, looking forward to removing the wet suit that clung to her skin.

  She closed her bedroom door behind her and was about to peel off the damp suit when she spotted him. Lounging in one of the wicker chairs on her balcony.

  Son of a bitch. He had been watching her the whole time. But where he relaxed with his feet up, she hadn’t been able to see him from the pool.

  Instead of changing, she headed outside. “You have one of these in your own room.”

  “Not with the unfettered view yours has.”

  He would’ve gotten another unfettered view if she had ripped off her bathing suit without realizing he was out there. She only noticed him because his arms and shoulders were wider than the chair. “We had this discussion about you just coming into my room.”