“They want me to fly out there.”
“Yeah?”
“They asked me to come next week, but I wanted to make sure that was okay with you first.”
“You don’t have to check with me. I want you to go and see if that’s the school you want.”
“I know. I was still hoping you’d reconsider going with me and I know you still have one more week to fill in for Kayla.”
“I think you should go.” Eva ran her hand up and down Ember’s thigh. “I’ll finish up the week. You can come back and tell me all about your trip and how much they loved you.”
“What if they don’t love me?” Ember stared out the side window, and Eva thought she heard the concern in her tone.
“Are you really worried about that?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” She sighed. “I’ve never really been around people like me in that way.”
“You’re cute when you’re nervous,” Eva told her and patted her thigh.
◆◆◆
“Baby, how are you?” Eva’s voice greeted her a little too enthusiastically over the phone.
Ember had only been gone to MIT for three nights and would be back very soon, but it felt like she hadn’t seen her in months.
“Baby, huh? What happened to babe?”
“I can’t use both?” Eva asked.
“Of course, you can. You can call me whatever you want, hot doctor.”
“Okay. I think I might like Scout better.”
Ember laughed.
“No, you don’t.”
“You’re right. I don’t,” Eva gave in. “How are you?”
Eva was in bed. She’d been reading, and when the phone rang, she placed her favorite bookmark in it and set it aside.
“I’m good. I’m tired though. Today, they tested me.”
“How did it go? Tell me all about it. Well, tell me about the stuff I’d actually understand.”
“It went really well. It was fun.”
“Fun?”
“Yes, it was fun. The written test was easy. I finished it pretty quickly. They told me that it’s graduate-level stuff. I did better than they expected, considering I’ve never actually studied math. They’re calling me self-taught. Then, they had this problem set on the board, and I had to complete it. I did. They seemed impressed and had me do another one. We did that part for three hours, but apparently, it wasn’t supposed to take that long.”
“Is that bad, babe?”
“No, it was good. The only reason it went on that long was because I was in one of my fugue states. I just kept going, and they didn’t stop me.”
“That’s exciting.” She paused. “I’m really happy for you.”
“I haven’t made a decision or anything, Dash.”
“I know. No matter what you decide, I’ll be happy for you even if it means we have to figure out how to do this long-distance thing between Massachusetts and Indiana.”
“I still have to check out Notre Dame.”
“And I hope you like it too,” Eva replied honestly. “I want you to love both schools, for them to both love you, and for you to make the best decision for what you want.”
“I miss you, Scout,” Ember sighed into the phone.
“I miss you too,” Eva replied and thought about how much she missed Ember and that this nightly phone call thing might be their new normal in a few months. “Where are you? Are you back in the hotel?”
“Yeah, a couple of the grad students took me out for a drink after the test. Couple ones are actually my age, which was nice because I thought I’d be the oldest college freshman in the world. I got back about ten minutes ago, changed, and then called you because I wanted to tell you about it. You should be honored, because I told Charlie and Hailey I’d call them and fill them in when I got back, but I called you first.”
Eva smiled and ran a hand through her hair.
“I am honored,” she replied sarcastically. “When will I see you tomorrow?”
“I should be there by five. I’m going to run by my place and get stuff for the weekend, and then I’ll be there.”
“The weekend, huh?” Eva asked.
“I’ve been without you all week. I’m spending the whole weekend with you. You’ll just have to deal with it.”
“For someone who’s never had an actual relationship before, you sure are clingy,” she jested and then laughed to ensure Ember knew she was only joking.
“Took me forever to find you, Scout,” Ember replied with a serious tone to her voice.
“Took me forever to find you too.”
◆◆◆
“You brought me back cream puffs and popcorn?” Eva asked Ember as they sat on Eva’s couch and Ember pulled out the items she’d bought for her girlfriend while on her short trip to Boston.
“I know you’re more a fan of the healthy stuff these days and you’re running more often now, but I thought you deserved a treat. Also, there are only four cream puffs. I got hungry on the flight,” she confessed.
Eva laughed and set both down.
“Thank you, but my treat is you being home.” She leaned in and kissed Ember for the third time since Ember had arrived.
Eva heard the somewhat familiar sound of metal clinging and looked down at Ember’s chest. She had begun wearing her father’s dog tags again. Eva smiled at the thought of Ember repairing that relationship.
“MIT is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before,” Ember said, but tried not to sound too excited.
She’d really enjoyed her time there. She almost wished she’d gone to Notre Dame first, because now that she’d experienced the other school, she wasn’t sure what Notre Dame could do to top it.
“What were their conclusions about you and the program?”
Ember lifted her head and turned her body to face Eva. She placed her elbow on the back of the couch and her head on her hand.
“They want me,” she admitted. “I’d have to apply soon since the fall semester is close, but the dean said that was more of a formality. I’d apply as a freshman, but based on what they saw today, they think I’m more or less ready for graduate level work.”
“What?” Eva exclaimed. “Ember, that’s amazing! You’d be four years ahead.”
“I’d be about twelve years behind.”
“That doesn’t matter. You’d really be able to skip all that and be okay? You’d feel comfortable basically starting as a graduate student?” Eva brushed a stray strand of Ember’s pulled back hair behind her ear.
“I don’t know. I never thought about that being a possibility. I assumed they’d have me still be a freshman and just skip some courses. I’d maybe graduate early.”
“Babe, this is remarkable.” Eva seemed genuinely excited for Ember.
“I guess.” Ember decided to push a little to see how Eva would respond. “It would mean that if I went to MIT, I could be done a lot sooner. I could go in as a grad student, finish my work there in a few years and if I decided to get a Ph. D, I could either stay or…” She allowed her words to trail off as she stared deeply into Eva’s eyes trying to find something there. “I could apply at another school for that if I wanted to. I wouldn’t have to be in Boston any longer.”
“You didn’t like Boston?” Eva asked, and Ember felt like that wasn’t the question she wanted from Eva.
“I like it. It kind of reminds me of Chicago with more history, but I meant that if I choose MIT, I’d only maybe be there for two or three years before I’d be able to check out a Ph. D program and move if I decided to.”
“Oh.” Eva matched Ember’s posture. “You were thinking about us.”
Ember hesitated before answering.
“I’m always thinking about us. Even when I was there, I was listening to them talk about the program and how much I’d fit in, but I kept thinking about you in Indiana and me there, and it gave me this feeling.”
“A sad feeling?”
“Yeah,” Ember confirmed. “I know it hasn’t been that long but thinking about us
living apart for that long makes me sad.”
“Me too,” Eva said.
“Did you apply to any schools in that part of the country? Any place close to Boston? In Boston? There are so many schools out there, babe.”
“Oh, Em.” Eva caressed her cheek. “I already accepted at St. Mary’s.”
“You could still interview, and if you get something, you tell St. Mary’s sorry.”
“Babe, that’s unprofessional.”
Ember felt her voice begin to rise.
“I’m talking about our future, Eva. I don’t care how unprofessional they’d think it is.”
“Babe, I looked for a job, but no, I didn’t specifically look in Boston or around there because I had no idea you and I would be dating, and then that we would be considering a future together, like we are now. I accepted St. Mary’s because I need a job.” She paused. “If it makes you feel better, I can look into positions there just to see what’s available.”
“But you don’t want to?” Ember pressed.
“Em, what’s going on? You said you were fine with me taking the job. We talked about it.”
“That was before I realized I could be living in Boston.”
“That was before either of us thought that. Why are you mad at me for finding a job?” Eva pulled back.
“I’m not mad at you.” Ember let out a low grunt and thought of her father in that moment. She really was more like him sometimes than she cared to admit. “I just really liked it there,” she stated calmly.
“I know.” Eva calmed at Ember’s change in tone. “And if you want to go there, I want that for you. But if you’re trying to figure out if I’m as in this relationship as you are, or if I’d be sad to be living in two different cities, you should talk to Alyssa. I spent two nights this week on the phone with her telling her how much I missed you and that I was scared because I don’t want to lose you. I know what going to school does to people, because I’ve been there. You’ll get busier and busier. You’ll be studying when you’re not in class. I’ll be working, and we’ll have calls and video chat, but it will be hard actually finding time to be together.” She paused. “That scares me because I want you. I want you, and I want you to have what you want for yourself, and if that’s at MIT, then you should have that.”
Ember watched Eva give the speech and decided she didn’t want to talk about this anymore.
“I could still like Notre Dame more, and this wouldn’t be an issue at all.”
“True,” Eva replied.
“Can we go there next week?”
“To Notre Dame?”
“They called me before I went to the airport this morning and they want me to come for a visit. It didn’t seem as big of a deal to them as it did to MIT. They’re not arranging anything specifically for me, but I can meet the dean and at least find out what they offer.”
“I have some apartments I’ve bookmarked. I could make appointments while you do that.”
“And when we get back, we can talk about that vacation.”
Eva lowered her head and nodded. “Okay.” She lifted it back up and smiled. “You and this vacation.” She laughed.
“I just want to see you in a bathing suit.”
“I have one in my dresser. I can put it on for you now.”
“Is that an option?” Ember’s eyes brightened.
“This weekend, it’s just us here. We’ll order in, relax and hang out.”
“And have sex,” Ember added with an eyebrow wiggle.
“Yes, we’ll have a lot of sex,” Eva confirmed. “And on Monday or Tuesday, we’ll drive to Indiana and check out apartments for me and a school for you.”
“And when we get back, we can plan a vacation?”
“Babe, can we do the vacation thing later?” Eva asked. “We have your brother’s wedding coming up and my summer sessions, but I’ll be done by the first week of August. We can go somewhere then. After that, you can be an amazing girlfriend and help me move.”
“I like all the other stuff but that last part.”
“Because of the manual labor?”
“Because of you moving,” Ember said. “But yes, I will help. What about Alyssa and Hannah?”
“I’ll come back for their wedding. School won’t be starting yet, so I’m hoping you’ll be my date. And if I can, depending on when you move, I’ll go with you and help too.”
“Hey, I haven’t made a decision yet,” Ember reminded her. “I might not go to MIT.”
“Right,” Eva stated with less enthusiasm. “Well, now that we have our summer planned out, are you hungry? I can order something. I like the Thai place down the street.”
CHAPTER 23
“The drive isn’t that bad,” Eva pointed out, and Ember took a bite of the cookie they’d purchased at the café before leaving Chicago. “We got here in under two hours.”
“Not bad,” Ember agreed. “It will suck in the winter. It’ll take at least three hours if the weather is bad,” she added.
She knew Eva was trying to be optimistic and that her tone wasn’t nearly as positive as her girlfriend’s, but Ember wasn’t optimistic. She’d been having a harder time lately trying to fake that. She’d really liked MIT, but she had reservations about moving that far away from Chicago. When she thought about getting some distance from her parents, she’d only wanted to leave the restaurant, not the city. MIT was halfway across the country. Her parents had only been travelers when Zack played travel ball. She knew part of her wanted MIT, but that another part of her was hoping Notre Dame would be as good, if not better. That would solve all her problems, but her optimism just wasn’t there. She also had another choice entirely, and it was one that she had yet to discuss with Eva because it would become a much bigger discussion.
“I’ll drop you off here. I’ll be back to pick you up later. We’ll go out to dinner and talk about how it went,” Eva stated as she pulled the car up in front of a large, old-style building which, if Ember had to guess, was a perfect representation of all college campus buildings around the country.
“Sure,” Ember replied.
“Okay, what’s going on?” Eva parked the car and turned to Ember.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve been quiet the whole trip. You hardly said a word last night. Em, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Ember lied. “I’m just nervous,” she lied again. “This is really important.”
“Babe, you have your choice of schools. You only reached out to two, and both of them want you. If you reached out to ten more, they’d all want you too. This is their chance to woo you.”
“Woo me?” Ember had to chuckle at that.
“If they want an exemplary student to be added to their university, they’ll be warm and welcoming to you, and then it will be your decision.”
“I guess,” Ember replied half-heartedly. “I should go. That guy seems to want you to move.” Ember pointed out of the front of the car where a campus security guard was motioning Eva forward since she was in an unloading zone.
“I love you. You’ll do great.”
“I love you too,” Ember replied.
Eva leaned in and they shared a brief kiss. Ember got out of the car and walked toward the building before turning to watch Eva drive off.
◆◆◆
Eva wanted Ember to pick Notre Dame more than anything, but she wanted Ember to want Notre Dame independently of their relationship, which had made things awkward lately. It was hard to try to convince a person you love that you want them, but you also want them to possibly pick a place to live that was nowhere near where you’d be living. She knew there was more to Ember’s earlier poor attitude than nervousness, but she’d been too afraid to push her any further.
Eva received a text from Ember that she should meet her on campus, so they could go to this place close by for dinner that someone had recommended to her. Eva was encouraged by that comment. If Ember was taking restaurant recommendations from someone, maybe the
day had gone well. Eva waited in the car for fifteen minutes outside the address Ember had texted. There were few students given the late hour and no security guard around to tell her to move the car. She decided to risk the parking ticket and headed inside to see if she could locate her girlfriend.
She stood in the wide expanse of the entryway for a few minutes in case Ember made her way out of one of the many rooms, but when she didn’t, Eva proceeded down the hallway to the right and looked into the rooms as she passed. Most were empty while some had students milling about or a class in session. She heard laughter coming from nearby and made her way in that direction. She stood in an open doorway and watched Ember laugh with another woman as they stood in front of a dry-erase board. The woman was writing something that looked like math, but no math that Eva could understand. Ember was standing next to her, maybe a little too close to her, and making her own marks on the equation.
“You used an equation to tell your friend she should take a job?” the woman asked Ember with a laugh. “You’re a bigger nerd than I am.”
“It made sense to me, and it worked. She took the job,” Ember replied. “I think that should be -1, not 1.” Ember pointed at something.
“Thanks.” The woman sounded surprised at either her mistake or Ember’s correction. “A few of us were going to The Backer tonight. You’re staying in town, right? You want to join us?”
“I’m going to dinner with my girlfriend.” Ember made a mark on the board that Eva didn’t recognize. “Shit. My girlfriend!” she nearly shouted.
Ember turned around and Eva gave her an awkward wave.
“Hi.”
“Babe, I’m so sorry,” Ember apologized. “We were working on something, and I lost track of time.” She dropped the marker on the ledge and made her way up to Eva.
“It’s okay. I’m parked right outside, so there’s a chance I’m going to get towed.”
“Eva, this is Sophie. Sophie, this is my girlfriend, Eva.”
Eva nodded at first to the woman who was several feet away from them, but then Sophie moved swiftly up to the two of them.
“Nice to meet you.” Sophie reached out her hand.
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