Eva shook it and then took in the woman in front of her. She was drop-dead gorgeous. She had dark rimmed glasses with deep brown eyes and caramel-colored skin that went well with her equally dark hair. She had a wide smile with perfect teeth and was only a few inches shorter than Ember, which was easy to see as they stood next to one another and Ember shared her smile. Sophie was wearing a plaid shirt under a sweater that allowed the plaid collar and bottom taper to show beneath the sweater, and her jeans were slightly, yet appropriately tattered.
“You too,” Eva replied.
“Sophie is a physics major. She’s the TA for the last class I sat in on today. We started talking afterward and time got away from me. I’m sorry,” Ember said and took Eva’s hand.
“It’s okay. Are you ready now?” Eva asked.
“I just need to grab my bag.” She let go of Eva’s hand and made her way back to retrieve her bag off the desk.
“I invited Ember to hang out with a few of us in the department. We’re going to The Backer. It’s a bar nearby. You should come,” Sophie told Eva.
“That’s up to Ember.”
“What’s up to Ember?” Ember asked Eva when she returned with her bag.
“The Backer,” Sophie said.
“I told her no because we have dinner plans,” Ember said to Eva.
“Do you want to hold off and have a drink with them first?” Eva wasn’t sure what she wanted the answer to be.
She wanted Ember to like the university, and a big part of that depended on the people she spent time with, but she also wasn’t a big fan of this Sophie woman and how close she still seemed to be standing to her girlfriend.
“Would that be okay?” Ember lifted a hopeful eyebrow, and Eva knew she couldn’t deny her.
◆◆◆
The Backer was definitely a student bar. There was green and blue everywhere to represent the school colors. Eva sat at a table across from Ember and Sophie and next to two guys named Matt and Richie. All of them were grad students in one of the science departments. Eva wasn’t exactly sure how she ended up on this side of the table while Ember and Sophie ended up across from her. She remembered walking in hand in hand with Ember, and then Ember moved away to grab them drinks. Sophie had directed the rest of them to a back table and when the boys sat down, they’d picked Eva’s side. Ember made no attempt to ask either to move. She just sat next to Sophie and gave Eva her beer with an unknowing smile.
Eva was mostly silent for the majority of their bar outing. Matt attempted conversation with her until he grew bored with her less than friendly responses and started talking to Richie instead. Eventually, the four of them all started in on a conversation about a particular equation that Eva had never heard of.
“You’ve never heard of the Millennium Prize Problems?” Sophie asked Eva and took a sip of her wine.
“I don’t really follow math. I listened to a few podcasts, but that’s about it.”
“You did?” Ember smiled at her from across the table.
“Yes,” Eva answered and smiled back, feeling slightly better.
“The Millennium Prize Problems are seven problems drawn up by the Clay Mathematics Institute. If anyone solves a problem, they get a million bucks. Only one has ever been solved,” Sophie informed her.
“Must not have been that hard,” Eva tried to joke.
“The best mathematicians in the world couldn’t solve it,” Sophie said, her voice adamant.
“What about the Riemann Hypothesis?” Matt asked. “Do you think it’s likely to be solved in our lifetime?”
“I doubt it,” Richie said.
“The Riemann hypothesis is that all nontrivial zeros of the analytical continuation of the Riemann zeta function have a real part of 1/2,” Ember told Eva.
Eva looked at her quizzically as if that was supposed to explain in layman’s terms what the math problem was about.
“Have you ever attempted it?” Sophie looked at Ember. “Most of us lowly grad students think we can accomplish things that the world’s brightest minds couldn’t.”
“I’m more a statistical analysis girl. I’d be pursuing actuarial sciences if I went to school here.”
“I saw your work earlier, Ember,” Matt pointed out. “You are way beyond just being an actuary.”
Eva did not like a stranger telling Ember what career she should pursue.
“I like the work,” Ember countered.
“But with your brain, don’t you feel like you have more to contribute? You could do a lot more than predict when people will die to help determine liability for an insurance company.”
“Em, you about ready? I’m getting hungry.” Eva changed the subject.
“I don’t plan on working in insurance.” Ember turned to face Sophie and placed her arm over the back of Sophie’s chair. “I don’t exactly know what I want to do yet. I think that’s what school is for, but I know I won’t work insurance.”
“But you could teach,” Richie countered. “At a place like this or another university.” He paused. “That’s what most of us plan to do, research and teach. It’s the best way we can continue our work.”
“Maybe,” Ember said and returned to face Eva, but kept her arm lazily over the back of Sophie’s chair.
“Phelps is going to do a seminar on Riemann’s next semester. It’s six weeks of fun and mystery. I’m already in. You guys?”
“I signed up as soon as it was listed,” Richie said.
“I’m on the waitlist, but I’m at the top,” Matt echoed.
“Ember?” Sophie turned to her and leaned back against Ember’s arm.
Ember looked at Eva.
“I’m not a student,” Ember said.
“But you’ll come here, won’t you?” Sophie seemed very interested in Ember’s future plans.
“She’s being recruited by MIT,” Eva finally spoke up and met Sophie’s eyes.
“MIT? Seriously?” Matt seemed impressed. “That’s awesome.”
“Yeah, I love it here. It’s a great school, but it’s no MIT.” Richie took a drink of his nearly empty beer. “Anyone else want another? Still happy hour prices.”
“You must be seriously brilliant if MIT is recruiting you.” Sophie was facing Ember and leaning a little into her.
Ember pulled back her arm and placed it in her lap but made no effort to extricate herself from Sophie’s lean.
“It’s not that big of a deal,” Ember said, though Eva knew she felt otherwise. “I haven’t made any decisions yet.” She turned to Eva. “We still have to talk about it.”
“Will you move to Boston with her if she goes to MIT?” Sophie glanced in Eva’s direction.
“We’re figuring that part out once she decides where she’s going. Excuse me.” Eva stood up.
She’d finished her drink several minutes earlier and couldn’t stand to watch Sophie flirt with Ember in front of her any longer. She didn’t have to go to the bathroom, but she pretended she did anyway. She entered the crowded bathroom and remembered she was on a college campus during happy hour. The bathroom would not be the place she could find a moment to herself. When she turned around and closed the door behind her, she saw Ember standing there.
“Changed your mind?” Ember asked.
“There’s a line. I can hold it until we get to the restaurant,” Eva said, keeping her true motive for leaving the table to herself.
“I said our goodbyes. We can go.”
“You can stay, Ember,” Eva said. “I can meet you at the hotel later.”
“What?” Ember took a step toward her but had to back away again as two women exited the bathroom and walked between them. “I don’t want to meet you later. I want to go to dinner with my girlfriend.”
“You seem like you’re having fun. You should go have fun.” Eva made a move to go past her.
Ember took her hand and held onto it, stopping her.
“Eva, please take me to dinner.”
◆◆◆
Dinner was just as awkward as
the happy hour drinks had been, which was strange for Ember because she never felt awkward around Eva when they were alone. Yet, as she finished her steak and took in Eva’s somewhat lost expression, that was exactly how Ember felt.
“How was apartment hunting?” she finally decided to ask after nearly ten minutes of complete and unbearable silence.
“Fine,” Eva said and took a drink of her water.
“Did you find anything you want?”
“I applied for the last one I saw before I came to get you,” she explained. “I should hear back by the end of the week if my application was accepted and choose a moving date.”
“That’s good.” Ember forked the last of her steak and dropped the fork to the plate. “Do you want dessert?”
“No, I’m good.”
“Are you?” Ember took the opportunity to ask. “You don’t seem good.”
“Well, I just watched some stranger hit on my girlfriend for the better part of two hours, so no, Ember, I’m not good.” Eva pushed her plate away.
“Who? Sophie?” Ember asked, confused.
“No, Matt. Of course, Sophie. She was all over you, and you just let her.”
“Eva, I didn’t let her do anything.” Ember tried to replay the whole night. “She asked me out earlier today. I told her no. I told her I was with you.”
“She asked you out?” Eva said a little louder than was polite and other patrons turned to glance at her.
“She was my tour guide. She thought I was here by myself, and yes, she asked me to go out with her tonight, and I said no.”
“And then she asked you again when I was there.”
“Did you hear me tell her I had plans with my girlfriend, Eva? Besides, Sophie is like twenty-two. She skipped two years in high school or something. She’s a kid.”
“I don’t want to fight about this,” Eva replied.
“I don’t want to fight about anything.” Ember felt herself growing restless in the crowded restaurant. “I wanted to have a nice dinner with the woman I love and have her tell me about her day, and then I’d tell her about mine,” Ember replied, but Eva didn’t say anything. “Do you want me to ask for another tour guide tomorrow? Sophie’s supposed to take me to a few more classes and introduce me to professors.” Eva closed her eyes and Ember watched them open a shade darker.
“No, you came here to see the school. See the school, Ember.” She paused. “Can we just get the check and get out of here?”
◆◆◆
“Listen to me,” Ember started in a whisper. She rolled onto her side to face Eva. She knew Eva wasn’t asleep, but had her eyes closed, pretending. “It’s you, Eva. You’re who I want. I don’t care about girls like Sophie or anyone else. I love you,” she said to Eva’s closed eyes. “I’m sorry if I didn’t show that tonight. I was… I was excited to be able to talk to people…”
“Like you?” Eva asked and opened her eyes to the ceiling. “Or at least close to being like you.”
“Yes,” Ember acknowledged. “That’s why I came here, right?”
“Yes,” Eva agreed. “I just didn’t expect to feel like this.”
“Like what?” Ember scooted closer but made no attempt to touch her.
“Like I’m going to lose you,” Eva admitted, and Ember watched as a tear slid down her cheek and landed on her t-shirt.
“Why would you lose me?” Ember slid closer.
“Because you fit in with these people and I don’t. I only understood about half of what you said tonight.”
Ember took a chance, wiped a new tear off Eva’s cheek and rested her head on Eva’s shoulder.
“I know this is weird because it feels like I fit in with these people, but Eva, it’s only a part of me that fits in with them.”
“A pretty big part.”
“Not really,” Ember argued. “I like math. I do think I’d like to go to school for it, but after seeing what these people work on every day and that it’s hard for them, it just makes me feel like I’ll have to work, but not nearly as hard as they do.” She paused. “For these people, their whole lives are about school. It was the same at MIT. I don’t want that for myself, babe.” She lifted her head and kissed Eva’s cheek. Another tear fell. “I don’t want my life to be all about school. I’m still the same Ember Elliot you met in that restaurant. I’m still the same person you danced with at a fake barn prom in Iowa and then again the next day at your sister’s wedding.” She noticed Eva smile at the memories. “I still love you more than anything. You have no reason to worry about girls like Sophie. I told you before. I am done with that part of my life. I’m yours, Eva. No matter what happens with school or work or life, I am yours.”
Eva’s head finally turned, and Ember kissed away another tear.
“I love you,” Eva assured her.
“I know.”
“I’m scared.”
“I know that too.” Ember rested her head back on Eva’s shoulder and then her arm over Eva’s stomach.
“Are you?”
“I worry sometimes about how much I miss you when we’re apart. When I was at MIT, I was going crazy. That was just a few days. I worry about the same things you do too, I guess. I’ll be busy. You’ll be busy. If I’m there and you’re here, it will be hard.”
Eva exhaled, and Ember felt it against her body.
“You’ve decided on MIT.”
“I haven’t decided anything yet,” Ember responded and moved her hand under Eva’s shirt to feel her warm skin. “I want to get back home and talk to Charlie and Hailey about it. I might even ask Zack what he thinks, but only if I’m desperate,” she joked and felt Eva chuckle beneath her. “I will definitely talk to you about it, and we will figure this all out, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Do you think you can sleep now?” she asked.
“Will you hold me?” Eva’s voice was so small.
“Roll over, baby.”
Eva rolled away from Ember. Ember wrapped her arm around her, placing her head on Eva’s shoulder. She kissed there and felt Eva’s tense muscles, but after a few minutes, the body she was holding relaxed and Ember recognized the even breathing. She was careful not to wake Eva, but she kissed her neck ever so gently and then attempted to drift off herself.
CHAPTER 24
Eva made her way into the fifth apartment complex of the day and parked her car. She had dropped Ember off at the campus for her last day at the university and then looked at another apartment, hated it, left and drove to the last one she planned to see. Her phone rang just as she parked, and she pulled it out of her purse to answer it.
“Doug, hi.”
“Hi, Eva. How are you?”
“I’m actually on my way to look at an apartment. Can I call you back later?”
“I’m in a bit of a bind again, Eva. I need your help.”
“What’s wrong?” Eva turned the car off.
“Kayla has resigned.”
“What?” Eva immediately lifted her head.
“It’s sad actually. She’s given me permission to share the diagnosis, but she has stage four cancer.”
“What?” Eva repeated in shock.
“It caught all of us off guard. She was so healthy.” Doug exhaled. “She took the time off earlier to go through a clinical trial. It hadn’t worked as she’d hoped. She’s decided to leave the college and spend the time she has left with her family. And she’s said she plans to write a book as well.”
“Oh, my God.” Eva couldn’t believe it. The last time she’d seen Kayla had been close to three months ago, but she’d looked fine and showed no indication of being sick. “I’m sorry. I’m just surprised. She was fine.”
“I know. We’re all very shocked, but she’s agreed to finish out the term with us. The treatment has taken a lot out of her, but she doesn’t want to leave with the semester unfinished. However, that leaves her position open, and I called you because I’d like to offer it to you. I’d also like to offer you the possibility of tenure.
You’d have to take over the British literature classes as well as your own because the position is a still a combined one, but you’d have your support staff of TAs and-”
“Doug, I’ve accepted at St. Mary’s.”
“I know. I understand if you say no. I wanted to call you personally because I didn’t want you seeing the position pop up online and not know that I wanted you back for it.”
“Thank you.”
“Will you at least consider it?” Doug asked. “I can keep it off the radar for about a week before I have to post it.”
“I’ll think about it,” Eva said. “Wow, I never expected this,” she admitted. “I said goodbye to the college.”
“We weren’t expecting this either and as sorry as I am for Kayla and her family, this does give you an opportunity to come home, Dr. Dash.”
Home. That was an interesting concept now. Eva’s home wasn’t her apartment in Chicago. It wouldn’t be whatever apartment she found here or even the house she grew up in. Her home, she knew, would always be wherever Ember was, but second to that, it was the college. She’d discovered herself there, and she had always been happy there. She’d hated saying goodbye the first time and hated it even more the second time. The only problem with accepting Doug’s offer was that Ember was either on her way to Boston or South Bend and if Eva accepted, she’d be staying in Chicago.
◆◆◆
“Miss Elliot, how have you enjoyed your time at our university?” Dr. Phelps asked as they sat alone in his office.
“It was great. Thank you very much. Everyone has been very helpful,” she replied.
“I understand you’re also considering our friends at MIT.”
“I am, yes. I went out there for a visit and they were great too.”
“I’m sure they were.” Dr. Phelps nodded. “Miss Elliot, you are truly exceptional. I am certain MIT would be a great place for you, but I would be doing this university a disservice if I didn’t try to persuade you to attend here.” He paused. “The professors you’ve met with were astounded by your abilities. Did you really correct Dr. Hobbs?”
“I didn’t mean any disrespect. I just-”
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