Trust A Broken Heart

by Ivy Symone

  Calmly, he asked, “You know who that was?”

  In a quiet, tiny voice, she responded, “She’s my mama.”

  With remorse, he stated, “I shouldn’t have said all that while you were right there.”

  “I know,” she said in a more upbeat tone. She flipped his hand over and noticed how smooth his hands were now. They used to be calloused from all of the outdoor work he had done before. She said, “Nola got yo’ hands feeling right, Daddy. They soft now.”

  Bebe chuckled at his daughter’s country drawl.

  There was a brief pause, before Kennedi asked curiously, “Why she come today?”

  Bebe knew Kennedi would want answers. She was beyond her nine years of age; it was just the “lil woman” in her.

  He responded, “She wanna talk and see you.”

  “No.”

  Thrown by Kennedi’s confident and stern response, he asked, “What does that mean?”

  She shook her head assuredly, “I don’t wanna see her.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I don’t need her, Daddy. I got mamas that care about me.”

  “Mamas?” His brow lifted inquisitively.

  “Well you know what I mean,” she said with a goofy grin. “I got Granny. I got Mrs. B. I got Auntie Bless, Auntie Deja…and I even got my spiritual mama, Nola.”

  Bebe was amused by Kennedi’s gestures. She was correct; she had plenty of female influences around her that more than made up for her lack of a mother. If she had found a peace and comfort with the way things were, then he definitely didn’t want to fight her on how she felt. Besides, Sharonda showing up now was so questionable.

  Mikael came trotting in the den followed by a tottering Yanis with his ever so infamous prop piece stuck in his mouth.

  “What was that all about?” Mikael asked in reference to the commotion.

  “Nothing,” Bebe answered as Yanis forced him to allow him onto his lap. After securing Yanis close, Bebe reached out for what Mikael had in his hand. “Where you get that from? I’ve seen this in your mama’s house.”

  Mikael handed over the scrapbook he was toting and hopped up on the sofa next to Bebe and Yanis.

  Without much thought, Mikael admitted, “Kennedi stole it out of Mommy’s room.”

  Kennedi’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Really Kael? How you flip on me like that? We’re supposed to be partners. You don’t snitch. Snitches get stitches.”

  Mikael placed his hand on his chest. “Trust me on this sis, I got it covered. Daddy, she stole it, but it was for something good.”

  “I ain’t saying nothing. Y’all the ones that gotta deal with Mama’s wrath. Y’all know how she is about her stuff,” Bebe said. He flipped the scrapbook open and was really surprised to see that Nola had put together the details of her dream wedding. He never imagined that she even given a wedding a thought, let alone her actually taking the time out to piece together different aspects of one.

  Page after page, he flipped and studied. Once he got toward the back, the pages became blank. But on the very last page, there was a picture of two little girls that looked to be about seven and five. They looked alike, and both shared the same reddish colored hair as Nola and the boys.

  “Who is that?” Kennedi asked curiously.

  Bebe asked, “You didn’t know this picture was here?”

  Kennedi shook her head. “I thought the rest of the book was empty.”

  Bebe peeled the picture off the page and flipped it over. Scrawled in neat cursive handwriting that he recognized as Nola’s in the top left corner was Makayla with the number 7 written beside it and Ayanna with the number 4 written out next to it.

  He had never heard Nola speak of any little girls in her family by those names. The people in her family he was most familiar with were Marshawn, her father Jerry, her grandmother Joyce, a few cousins, and he had met her mother Gwendolyn twice. He had never seen these little girls. Why did she have this picture in the back of this scrapbook?

  He asked Mikael, “Do you know who these little girls are?”

  Mikael shook his head. “Nope.”

  “Hmm,” Bebe hummed in thought. He returned the picture to the back and flipped back to the front of the scrapbook. Looking through the pics one more time, an idea came to him. He picked up his phone and sent Keyma a message: I need an emergency booking and I hope you have some openings

  Then he yelled, “Deja! I think I may have an official job for you!”

  Chapter 9

  K eyma blinked at Bebe’s message. She had to reread it several times. He wanted her to do what? When?

  Why?

  She wanted to ask but didn’t. It was kind of obvious why after seeing the way he interacted with his baby mother the day before. Keyma was somewhat disappointed, but it was Nola, so it was to be expected. After she discovered that Nola was Bebe’s baby mother and lived right next door, she knew there was no chance in hell for her.

  Keyma wasn’t the hating type. After everything she knew Nola to have gone through, she deserved it and then some. So, putting together this shindig in her honor for Bebe would be Keyma’s pleasure.

  She texted back: Let me take a look at my calendar and see if I can take on something that big. I’ll get back to you

  Bebe: Thanks

  As soon as she put her phone down, it began ringing. She picked it up to see who was calling. It was an unfamiliar local number. She answered, “Hello?”

  “Hey bae,” Cedric said.

  She looked at her phone again to make sure she wasn’t tripping. “How are you calling me straight through?”

  “I’m on my boy’s three-way. What’chu doing?”

  She took a seat on her sofa and propped her feet up on her ottoman. She had been cleaning up and needed a break. “I was straightening up a little.”

  “Aw…” There was a long pause. Then he asked, “How come you didn’t come see me yesterday? You know we get special visits on Holidays.”

  “Ced, I already told you I had an event to do yesterday. There was no way I’d be able to make it and tend to the party,” she explained.

  “It didn’t look like you were doing an event. It looked like you was at somebody’s barbeque.”

  How did he know that?

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Nigga, I seen the pictures on your page. You taking pics and shit with other niggas. You had you a good ol’ time, huh?” he asked in a threatening tone.

  “It was a party for a one year old and right after they celebrated the Fourth. I ain’t gotta—”

  “Which one of the niggas you fucking?” he asked.

  “Ced, stop. I haven’t messed—”

  “And then I didn’t even see your ring on your finger in the pictures. You walking around acting like you single, Keyma? What the fuck you doing out there?”

  Cedric was locked up, behind prison walls in a different part of the city; yet, she was afraid as if he was standing right there in the living room.

  “No, I had my ring on,” she lied. “I had slipped it into my pocket because it kept getting snagged while I was working.”

  “Why yo ass didn’t answer not one of my calls yesterday. Huh? I even called yo ass last night from my cellie’s phone and you didn’t even fucking answer. Who was you with?”

  “I was tired.” Another lie. If he knew she had been at Bebe’s house until one in the morning, he would have a fit.

  “I know what…You better get’cho shit together before I get home,” he warned.

  “My shit is together,” she mumbled.

  “What’chu say? Keyma, you been having an attitude for the past few weeks. What’s the problem?”

  You! She wanted to say, but she refrained from doing so. Instead she offered in hopes of softening him up, “I’m just tired. I’ve been booking a lot of events lately, and it’s about to get even crazier. I’ma have to quit my regular job soon and do this full time. And I’m grinding so hard for us, the kids, for you…And I don�
�t really have a lot of support. That’s why I can’t wait until you come home, and we can go hard together.”

  “Yeah,” he said with indifference. “Well…I ain’t finna hold bruh’s line up. I’ma call you later and yo ass better answer.”

  “Okay,” she said. “I love you, Ced.”

  “Yeah,” he mumbled before ending the call.

  She rolled her eyes while exhaling heavily. It was depressing knowing that he was getting out soon. Hopefully, he would be a lot happier and a lot easier to be around once he came home. Because how she felt about Cedric now, she just couldn’t see a future with him.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~

  Nola was relieved to finally let Bebe know she was carrying his third child. He reacted about as expected; shocked more than anything. When he left her house, he didn’t say anything else on the matter. He just seemed dumbfounded and far away. There was no telling what was going through his head.

  “Nola, are you okay?” Marshawn asked.

  She nodded solemnly as she looked around the Mexican restaurant. Once Bebe left, Marshawn offered to accompany her and treat her out to dinner just to keep her out the house for a while. They met up with her friend Danette and were now waiting for Dorian to join them.

  Danette was returning to the table from a restroom trip. As she sat down, she asked, “Damn, Dorian ain’t here yet?”

  “He probably can’t get away from his girlfriend,” Nola commented. “Let’s go ‘head and order. That nigga can just order when he get here.”

  “Too bad you can’t have any margaritas,” Danette teased.

  Marshawn looked surprised. “Oh, she already knows?”

  Danette said, “About the pregnancy? I was there when she took the test falling out crying and shit.”

  Nola chuckled. “I did not fall out.”

  “Yeah you did,” Danette laughed.

  Marshawn asked, “You don’t wanna be pregnant?”

  Nola shook her head. “It’s not that. I welcome the idea of another child…It’s just…I’m having yet another baby with a man who just don’t want me like that. And shit, I know it. No sense in being in denial about it. And it’s sad, but it’s my own doing.”

  “His too,” Danette added.

  “Yeah, I get that,” Nola countered. “But he’s made it known that he doesn’t want anything more with me. Why am I allowing myself to get caught up though?”

  “So, what are you gonna do?” Danette asked.

  “Nothing, I guess.”

  “As far as you and Bebe, I mean.” Danette absently went for her phone.

  “Same answer,” Nola said casually. She noticed that both Marshawn and Danette were enthralled in their phones at the same time. A smile spread across Danette’s face.

  “What are you looking at?” Nola asked.

  Danette shook her head and placed her phone face down on the table. “Nothing. Julius sent me a text being silly.”

  Marshawn nodded in the direction of the front entrance of the restaurant. “Dorian just showed up.”

  There was no need to capture his attention being that he spotted them right away. As he approached the table, Nola stood to her feet to greet him with a hug. He held onto her longer as expected and placed a kiss on her forehead.

  “You doing okay?” he asked.

  She nodded as she sat back down. Dorian took a seat next to Marshawn.

  “What’s going on, Mars? It’s been a minute,” Dorian greeted.

  “Yeah, I don’t get to get away like I used to,” Marshawn stated.

  While they carried on with small talk, the waiter came over to take their orders. Nola wished she could get a margarita so bad. Usually she was so strong at keeping things together, but she could feel herself falling apart inside.

  Out of nowhere, she announced, “I think I’m gonna move back home and help Granny take care of Mama.”

  All three were shocked.

  “Why?” Danette asked.

  “I don’t know. It’s simpler. I have a purpose there. I can get back to who I once was,” she answered solemnly.

  “You have purpose here too,” Danette argued.

  Dorian playfully asked, “So you’re trying to leave me behind?”

  “I just need to do what is best for me,” Nola explained.

  Danette shot Marshawn a knowing look.

  Marshawn finally spoke up. “It would be nice if you did go back to help Granny out, but she got plenty of help with Mama. And Mama’s just had her surgery, so she should be able to move about on her own soon. But what about the kids?”

  “Columbia is only an hour away. Bebe will understand, and we’ll be able to work—”

  Both Danette and Marshawn disagreed with loud cries of objection.

  “Bebe is not going for that,” Marshawn chuckled. “He is crazy about Kaels and Ya. He’s been seeing them every day of their lives. Y’all live right next door to one another. He has access to his children at all times. You take that away and watch him flip out.”

  Danette agreed. “He’s right.”

  “But shit happens,” Dorian interjected. “If me and Nola got together and we found another house, what would that nigga have to do then? He’d have to accept that shit.”

  “You would say that,” Danette mumbled under her breath.

  Marshawn went on to say, “But not just Ya and Kaels, what about BJ and Kennedi? You’ve become an important part of their lives too.”

  “I’d come to visit them or ask Bebe if he’ll let them come to see me for a couple of weekends out of the month,” Nola stated. “It can work. I just hope Bebe will understand.”

  “Okay, what if Bebe got his shit together and asked to marry you today?” Danette threw out there. She shot Marshawn another look.

  Nola gave it some thought before giving a shrug. “I don’t know. I mean, why would he ask me now after all this time.”

  “Maybe he just needed to realize you’re all he needs,” Danette said.

  Dorian’s brows furrowed into a scowl. “Maybe he’s just selfish and don’t want nobody to have her, but he still ain’t gon do right.”

  “How you know?” Danette snapped.

  “I know dudes like him. They want they cake and eat it too,” Dorian said matter of factly.

  “Yeah, like you did,” Danette said snidely.

  Dorian threw his hands up in a surrendering motion. “I admit I fucked up with Nola. But if I had another chance with her, I’d appreciate her to the fullest.”

  Nola smiled. “Really?”

  “Of course,” he assured her.

  Nola kept the smile on her face as she threw out there, “I’m pregnant right now with Bebe’s child. You still want that chance?”

  Dorian stared at her intently to see if she was joking.

  “I’m dead serious,” Nola said. “I’m pregnant again.”

  “So that’s why you’ve been playing me to the left,” Dorian mused.

  Nola admitted, “That’s a part of it.”

  “You know what,” Dorian said as he pushed back in his chair. He grabbed up his belongings. “I don’t think I’m hungry anymore. I’ll catch up with y’all later.”

  “Dorian, don’t go,” Nola chuckled. She watched as he stood up and headed out of the restaurant. She groaned in frustration as she got up to go after him. She caught up with him before he could reach his truck.

  “Dorian, don’t be like that.” She spoke with softness and empathy.

  Angrily, he spun around toward her. “Why you keep sleeping with that nigga? And now you having another fucking baby with him! Damn Nola! Was there ever any hope between us?”

  She sighed heavily. “I don’t know the answers to any of that.”

  “And what the nigga do or say when you told him you was pregnant? Not shit! As always. You’re the only person that keep getting hurt in all of this. I’ve been trying to be the nigga in your life that will treat you right. Treat you like you have purpose, so you won’t be feeling all fucked up like you are now. Tha
t nigga got you so different than what you used to be. Nola back in the day wouldn’t go for none of the shit you let him get away with. None!”

  “I am different, Dorian. I’ve been different for some time now, which is why I think moving back to Columbia might be a good thing.”

  He argued, “No, you just trying to get away from him!”

  She lowered her head with shame and guilt.

  Dorian lifted her chin up so she could look him in the eyes. “Baby, I love you. Shit, I miss what we used to have. We got history.”

  “That history was hurtful too,” she countered as tears welled in her eyes. “We share a history that was a part of the reason I changed.”

  “I know, but we were getting past that.”

  She shook her head. “I can never get past it. And I know I haven’t healed properly. I just need some time and space.”

  Dorian sucked his teeth shaking his head in pity. He looked out into the parking lot at nothing in particular. “Man, I’m willing to change up everything for you.”

  Nola smiled. She knew Dorian was being sincere, but she just didn’t see him in the same sense. She wasn’t in love with him. Never had been.

  “Dorian, you know how—”

  He cut her off dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m just sorry I’m not that nigga. Whatever it is about him…that shit got you stuck.”

  She didn’t expect him to understand. He was hurt, and she got it. She sympathized with Dorian, but just like her, they could avoid their heartbreaks if they would just stop being a fool for the person who didn’t want them.

  She let Dorian and his feelings go. When she returned back inside, the waiter was serving their food.

  “What about Dorian’s order?” Danette asked.

  “I’ll get it and just take it to go,” Marshawn offered.

  Danette asked, “So how did that go?”

  Insouciantly, Nola shrugged. “You know Dorian. I don’t know how many times I gotta tell him I don’t want him like that.”

  Danette placed a comforting hand on Nola’s arm. “Well, look, before you make any concrete decisions, think some things over. Why don’t you have a heart to heart with Bebe and let him know where you at with everything.”