Lovely Madness: A Players Rockstar Romance (Players, Book 4)

by Jaine Diamond

  “I’m so glad you could make it,” my best friend said, and I felt like a dick that she actually had to say that to me.

  Had I really been that busy and unavailable to her lately?

  Yes. Yes, I had. Since I’d started working for Cary, I’d been sucked right into his world. I’d barely left his property. And I’d definitely skipped out an a couple of ladies’ nights.

  Walking in here tonight, being surrounded by noise and people, it felt like a big change from being alone with Cary all the time in his house. It felt good to be out with my best friend. But it also felt strange to not be with him.

  I wondered if he’d ever walk into a place like this.

  The meeting at Brick House Records had given me hope, but that was only one outing. And other than the few times I’d managed to drag him out for our night jogs, he hadn’t left the property again.

  “So, catch me up on the latest,” I said. “What’s going on in your world?”

  “Mmm, not much,” she said. “Work is good. The usual. But who cares about that. The big news is I’m making Summer a custom necklace to wear at her wedding.”

  “What! That’s incredible. Seriously, when are you gonna quit the day job and just be a jewelry designer already? That’s where your heart is.”

  Danica shrugged, sipping her hard cider. “I dunno. If I could make enough money just doing the custom work, one piece at a time, for buyers with bank… I’d consider it. I’m never gonna run some fucking sweatshop. I don’t want to mass produce.”

  “I know. But you get someone like Summer wearing a few of your custom pieces, maybe Elle sees it, and some more of her famous friends, and boom. This time next year, maybe that’s exactly where you are. Making custom jewelry for the stars.”

  “Huh,” she said, like she hadn’t even thought of it that way. My best friend was an amazing, creative artist. She had great taste. Obviously; just look at who she’d chosen for her best friend. Ha.

  But she just didn’t have that business-minded gene that told her how to leverage it into an income.

  “That would be fun,” she admitted. “Like, especially making custom jewelry for rock stars. For video shoots and events and stuff…”

  “Well, isn’t it handy that you happen to know some.”

  “Wow,” she said, clearly thinking it over. “I think you’re blowing my mind a little.”

  “How did you not think of this already?”

  “I think Dani mentioned it, actually. But I usually just ignore her when she speaks.”

  I snorted. “Yeah, and I’d usually say that’s the right thing to do.” Seriously, taking advice from her twin sister—the evil twin—was rarely a good idea. “But in this case, I’m not surprised Daniella sniffed out the opportunity before you did. You should think about it.”

  “I will.”

  “And how’s Ash?” I asked her, though I already knew the answer. “How’s married life?”

  “Dreamy,” she said, literally getting a dreamy look in her blue eyes. She had nowhere near enough alcohol in her system yet to blame that look on the booze, though.

  “Are you aware you look drunk whenever you talk about him?”

  “I’m in love.” She shrugged. “It’s addicting.”

  “I know.”

  How many times had I been drunk on love? A few.

  None of them were really worth the heartbreak hangover afterwards, though.

  But I’d never been married before. Or as in love with a man as she was.

  “He’s been working a lot, obviously,” she said. “But Ash is always pretty respectful about it. The band is keeping to the Monday to Friday only thing, so they all get to have a life and keep their sanity, in theory. I mean, everyone’s in a serious relationship, other than Matt. They work late some nights, but Ash always makes sure to come home to me at a reasonable hour. Ish.”

  “What’s he doing tonight?”

  “Same as us. Drinking with the boys.” She hesitated, then asked, “How about Cary? What does he do when you go out with the girls?”

  “Work, probably. He works every day of the week, and late pretty much every night.”

  She considered that. And I could see she had a ton of questions, but she was holding back because she was polite like that. “Do you think he’s a workaholic? Or just super driven?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “I guess a workaholic would be someone who gives up everything else in his life for work?” she posited gently.

  “Maybe. But it’s hard to say, when he gives up everything in his life anyway. I’m not sure he does that for work, or simply because he doesn’t want to deal with it.”

  She studied me. “Do you think he’s happy?”

  “I don’t know.”

  No. No, I did not think he was happy, in general. I thought he was happy with me, when we were together. It wasn’t like he said he was happy, but we had a good time together.

  A really good time.

  “Well, Ash says the band is absolutely loving working with him.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. Apparently Xander had his doubts. Concerns, I guess, that it wouldn’t go well. But Ash seems thrilled about the way everything is going so far. He says Cary keeps sending him feedback on the music they’re writing that blows his mind. He says Cary is a genius.”

  I smiled. “Yeah. He’s pretty incredible.”

  Danica smiled at me. I was glad we got to talk about this a little, face-to-face, before the other girls got here. Because talking about Cary and the band’s work in the studio was private. That was part of the reason I’d met her a bit early.

  And while I had her here, all to myself, I figured I should ask her about that other private thing…

  “So, I’m just gonna say this, and it’s gonna sound weird,” I warned her, “but here it is. Cary told me he has a membership to a private sex club.”

  “Uh…”

  “Hold your judgment. He said it’s really expensive and he met with a woman there, another member, who he’d have sex with. I think it was the convenience, but also, because he likes to be a little… dominant during sex.”

  “Oh-kay,” Danica said, listening with stunned attention.

  “I don’t mind any of that. I was a little shocked at first, but I got over it. He promised me he’s not going there anymore, now that we’re involved. And it doesn’t weird me out all that much or anything. I guess I wanted to make sure that that isn’t crazy of me, though. You’re my gauge. You know, my sanity gauge.”

  “Right…”

  “And also, I wanted to know if you’ve ever heard of a sex club called Bliss. You know… through Madeleine?”

  “Uh… no.” I could practically see my best friend scraping together her thoughts and struggling to come up with a response to all of that. “No… I don’t think you’re crazy, obviously. I think you need to trust your judgment and your gut instincts, and you know better than anyone else what’s going on in your relationship with him, and if he’s trustworthy.”

  “He is. I think.”

  “Okay.” She considered that. “And you’re sure he’s not still going? And he has no contact with this other woman? And he was safe when he was there, like using protection? Etcetera?”

  “Yes. I mean, I can only go by what he tells me. But I do trust him.”

  “Okay.” She took a sip of her drink. “Wow. I was not prepared for that.”

  “Sorry.” I grinned and tapped my cider to hers, and we took a swig together. “What about Madeleine, though?” Danica’s aunt Madeleine was a self-described Dominatrix, and I’d wondered if she might have any intel on the club. Being in that scene and all, maybe? Not that her scene was my business, but obviously I knew all the gossip about Danica’s family, as she knew mine.

  “Uh, no,” she said. “Sorry. Madeleine and I have a strict agreement to absolutely not share any details about our sex lives with each other. I may have instigated that rule myself after I learned she was a Dominatrix
when I was seventeen. And I’m not sure I could break the rule, even for you.”

  “Yeah. Okay.” I got that, really. I probably wouldn’t want to hear about my aunt tying guys up and whipping them or whatever it was she did.

  “What about Xander?” I asked. “Remember that ‘date’ he went on last year with that rich guy, for the charity bachelor auction thing? Courteney said the guy invited him to some sex club. Do you think it was Bliss?”

  Danica’s eyes widened. “I don’t know. How many expensive sex clubs can there be in this city?”

  “I have no idea. I didn’t know there was one.”

  “Do you want me to ask Courteney?” she offered.

  “No. I don’t want any chance of it getting back to Cary. And anyway… it doesn’t matter. Cary told me he wouldn’t go anymore. So maybe that’s really all I need to know.”

  “Do you really believe him?”

  “I do. He gives me access to everything. Like his phone, his texts, whatever. He’s very open with me that way. It was weird, though… I actually saw it on his schedule a few times. On his calendar, like any other appointment. Like, Bliss, 8:00. But at least it was only on there a few times this past year. I didn’t look any further than that. Felt creepy.”

  “That is kinda weird. To see it in your face like that. But maybe the fact that it was in his calendar and he didn’t try to hide it from you is a good thing? It sounds like he treated it kinda like a business appointment? And that’s probably much easier to put aside than something that felt personal to him.”

  “Yeah. That’s what I was thinking.”

  Danica eyed me as she sipped her drink. “I am curious, though…” she admitted.

  “Me, too.”

  “Like… what kind of stuff do you think he did there?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Because Courteney said that guy invited Xander to come with him so they could have group sex.”

  “Not that kind of stuff,” I said. “Cary can barely handle one person in a room with him most days. No way he’s letting multiple people touch his dick at once.”

  “Good point.” She smiled at me, tentatively, like she was making sure it was okay she found humor in that. “You really like him, huh?”

  “Yes. I like him. I like—” My sentence dropped off midway, because some guy had just walked right up to me. I looked at him. This total stranger stood there, way too close to me. He was wearing a suit with the tie loosened and he looked very average-normal. Except for the fact that he was suddenly in my space, staring at me.

  Then he blinked, too slowly, obviously drunk or something. And his drink landed on the floor at my feet.

  It fell out of his hand.

  I glanced down. Somehow, the thick highball glass didn’t even break.

  “Holy shit, you’re beautiful.” He held up his hand immediately, like, Don’t say anything. “I just wanted to say that.”

  Then he backed off, turned and stumbled away. Without his drink.

  “Uh…” I looked at Danica, who was gaping at his retreating back.

  She glanced over at Ash’s bodyguard, Haz; Ash had sent him along to keep her safe tonight, because he was protective of her like that. He was sitting further down the bar, giving the drink-dropper a dirty look.

  Then Danica’s eyes met mine. A smile curled the corner of her mouth.

  “Was that a droppage,” I asked her, “or did he just throw that drink at my feet?”

  “I think he kinda threw it? Like a sacrifice to the goddess of beauty? Or maybe he spontaneously forgot how to hold it? It was hard to tell.”

  “Well, that was fucking weird.”

  Danica shook her head. “Not that weird. You have always had that effect on men.”

  “What? I’ve never seen a guy just, like, forget to hold onto his alcohol because he discovered that I existed.”

  Danica snickered. She reached over the bar to get the attention of a bartender. “Hey, some guy just dropped his drink right here.” She pointed at the floor, then at me. “She has that effect on men.”

  I turned my back to the bartender, kind of embarrassed. Seriously, did that just happen?

  Was I supposed to want that?

  A normal guy who went out to bars, like normal guys did, and could just walk up and hit on me in public?

  Maybe?

  But all I wanted was Cary. And I really didn’t care that he didn’t hang out in bars. Or that he hung out in a sex club before he met me. I didn’t care that he was different.

  I mean, maybe I just plain liked it that he was different.

  Anyway, weren’t we all different?

  “Let’s get a table before this place fills up,” Danica said, taking me by the arm and pulling me deeper into the bar. “And before you shock more men out of their drinks.”

  We’d just managed to snag a hightop table near the small dance floor when Danica’s cousin, Jolie, arrived.

  Like almost everyone I knew, I hadn’t seen Jolie since I started working for Cary. As soon as we got the catching-up small talk out of the way and got seated, she asked me, “So, who’s this new guy you’re dating? Danica said you’re seeing someone. But she won’t tell me who it is.”

  “Sorry,” Danica said. “I wasn’t sure if you were in the telling- people phase yet or not.”

  “It’s okay.” I knew Jolie wasn’t gonna exactly blab it all over the internet or anything. I pulled up a photo of Cary on my phone; it was a pic I took a few days ago while we were hanging out by his pool. He was shirtless, looking thoughtfully at the camera. Or at me, I supposed. I could’ve just explained to Jolie who he was, but I figured the photo probably got the point across faster. “Here.” I handed the phone to her.

  “Whoa.” Jolie pushed her glasses up her nose and adjusted the distance of the phone from her face, seeking sharper focus. “Did I say whoa? I meant holy fucking shit. Where the hell do you find these guys?”

  “What do you mean?”

  Jolie almost rolled her eyes. “You two always date the hottest guys. Tell her,” she said to Danica, but Danica just innocently sipped her drink. So Jolie went on. “Your last boyfriend was so bangable, Taylor, even I kinda wanted to do him. I mean, I wouldn’t. But you know what I mean.”

  “Yeah, well, apparently a lot of other girls thought he was bangable, too,” I said. “You know, while I was with him. And he reciprocated the kindness. Which is why I’m not with him anymore.”

  “Right,” she said.

  “Dominic was a grade A asshole,” I reminded her. “This one is actually a good human being.”

  “Like as good on the inside as he looks on the outside?” Jolie inquired, still examining the pic on my phone. She was moving her fingers on the screen like she was scrolling in. At what, I wasn’t sure.

  “So far,” I said.

  “Well, nice catch. I’m happy for you.”

  She held the phone out to me just as Danica’s twin sister, Daniella, slipped up behind her.

  “Oh, now that is what I’m talking about,” Daniella said. “Who is that?” She snatched the phone from Jolie’s hand and tossed her purse on the table. “If you don’t want him, Jolie, I’ll take him. This guy is totally my type.”

  I plucked my phone from her hand. “No thank you.”

  Daniella laughed. “No? Who is he?”

  “Absolutely no. Get your own.”

  “He’s Taylor’s new boss,” Danica supplied.

  “Ooh, juicy,” Jolie said. “A workplace romance?”

  “Sounds like someone likes her new job,” Daniella said. “And her new boss.”

  “My new job is great,” I informed her. “And I like him very much. And if you ever eat him with your eyes like that again I will do very nasty things to your drink when you’re not looking.”

  Really, you had to be firm with a girl like Daniella Vola. Girls who ate men alive and spit them back out, destroyed. She grinned at me, slowly. “Wow. Kitten’s got claws.”

  “Yes, I do. An
d I will sharpen them on your face if you say a single dirty word about him.”

  Dani feigned shock and innocence. “I just said he’s handsome.”

  “Shush. He’s special,” Danica told her sister. “And… it’s complicated.”

  “I see that.” Dani was sizing me up, her blue eyes narrowing. “Does he have any special friends you might introduce me to?”

  “I’ll let you know.”

  Maybe when hell freezes over and you grow a soul.

  My best friend’s twin looked around, already bored with the conversation. “Where’s the waitress? I’m thirsty.”

  “Me, too,” Jolie said. Then she uttered the war cry of every young woman on ladies’ night in a bar since the beginning of time. “Let’s do shots!”

  One of the bartenders made this shooter called a Punch Drunk Pussy, which was not on the menu, for obvious reasons, but our waitress was cool and recommended a round. All I knew was it was pink and by the fifth one I forgot what was in it.

  Then the sexting started.

  Me: I just devoured five punch drunk pussies.

  Me: Wait. Six.

  Cary: Tell me more.

  Me: They were pink and delicious.

  Me: I think they were booze. I’m slurring.

  Cary: Where are you?

  Me: Bar.

  I took a sip of my cocktail—it was also pink—and checked to make sure no one was gonna bust me for being on my phone. Then I discretely checked it again.

  Cary: What are you wearing under your dress?

  Now there was an interesting question.

  Me: Why…?

  Cary: I need a visual.

  Me: I forget.

  Me: Purple lace thong. I think.

  Danica poked me. “Whatcha doin’?” She looked and sounded drunk, her blue eyes all hazy, and I grinned.