Angels Falling

by Harriet Carlton

  “I’m sorry,” said Imorean, his head dropping between his shoulders. “I’m so sorry. I should have done so much more.”

  A hand caught him by the cheek. He couldn’t help the flinch that seized him. He would recognize this touch anywhere. His mother. The last time she had touched him, it had been a slap that left blood in his mouth. No. That wasn’t going to happen here. He leaned into her hand.

  “We should apologize to you, Imorean,” she said. Imorean looked up. Her eyes had filled with tears. “God, Imorean, if he’d told me to, I would have killed you. I would have killed you. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  Imorean rocked back on his heels as his mother let go of Isaac and gripped onto his shirt. He rested a hand on hers. “No. It wasn’t your fault. It was mine. He should never have found you. I’m an Archangel. I’m supposed to protect you.”

  “Archangel? You’re my son. I’m your mother. It’s my job to protect you and I – I couldn’t.” Amelia’s head dropped to her chest and a sob caught her body. “I couldn’t. I would have killed you if he’d told me to. I believed him. I believed everything he told me. Being with him made everything about you easier. Being with him … it was better than being in that cell. All alone. Not knowing the world around me. Not knowing existence. He – he gave me two of my children back … I thought that …”

  Imorean put a hand on her shoulder and swallowed. “You did what you thought was right. You did what you thought would preserve you, Rachel and Isaac. I saw you, Mom. You fought him for as long as you could. He made you believe I was against you. That I had chosen Michael over you. That I had died. He made you believe things that weren’t real. He manipulated you. That is not your fault.”

  “I hated you, Imorean. I hated you so much. The last time I saw you, I wanted you dead. I wanted to see him kill you.” Tears broke over her eyes. “I – I’m scared that a part of me still does.”

  Imorean ran a hand under his eyes as his mother broke apart in front of him. Every time she looked at him, turmoil. Agony. Sheer agony. A sob. The emotions turned. Hate. Fear. Revulsion. Turn. Love. Turn. Self-disgust. Loathing. Terror. A maddening fury building behind the emotion. A frenzied spiral. Amelia moved her hand to his, gripping hard. She wouldn’t look at him. Possibly couldn’t. Imorean took a hard breath. This would tear her apart. She would break like this. They all would. This would drive them mad. He held tight to her hand and turned to Rachel and Isaac.

  “Do you know me?”

  “Imorean,” said Rachel. Her voice was wary. Imorean looked at Isaac as his half-brother stared at him, a cold kind of anger in his eyes.

  “That’s right.” Imorean swallowed. Maybe everything wouldn’t come right. And that was the way of things – it was life and sometimes life was cruel. “A year ago, I left for college. You remember that?”

  His own words from a lifetime ago rang in his head. ‘I’m coming home soon. I promise’. He looked at the ceiling and fought back tears.

  “I do,” said Isaac.

  Imorean nodded, rubbing his forehead. “Remember what I said to you both?”

  Rachel gave a tiny smile. Broken innocence lay behind it. Patch-mended for now, but still broken. “You told me, ‘It’s okay, princess’.”

  “That’s right.” It was difficult to talk now. Imorean swallowed hard. “Isaac, remember what I said to you?”

  Isaac nodded. “That I was the big man of the house.”

  Imorean took a breath. Vision blurred. Keep it together. “Think you can keep Mama and Rachel safe?”

  Isaac wavered. “What if something else happens? What if … what if he comes back?”

  Imorean swallowed. He didn’t need Isaac to clarify. “He won’t. He’s gone. I promise. You’re safe. I’m here. I’m – dammit – I’m looking after you. All of you. You’re not … you’re not going to know me. Or even realize I’m there. But I’m going to be there. I’m always going to be there. I’m never going to …”

  Stiff. Imorean choked emotion down. Too much. This was too much. Grief, unshed, unready, grabbed his chest and broke it open, spilling all that he was. He gripped his hair. Hot. He was too hot. It wasn’t a kind of fiery burn though. It was an agonizing drag. Toxic, smoky. Ready. He had been ready to fight. Ready to die. But he wasn’t ready for this. Leaving. He was leaving them. This was goodbye. It had to be. They deserved better than this. So much better. One small hand took hold of his shirt. Isaac stared up at him. Eyes that had been so furious only a moment ago were soft now. Realization crossed through them.

  “I’ll look after them.”

  A breath rattled Imorean’s chest. “Good man. I won’t worry as much now. Look out for your sister in particular.”

  “I will.”

  Rachel took hold of his other sleeve. Imorean pulled them both close, held them as tight as he dared. This would be the last time … the last time they saw him and knew him. Eternity stretched on before him. Eternity without them. His mother squeezed his hand again, then let go. Her hand caught him now by the chin and lifted his face. Eyes met. Tears rolled down her face, too. It was like she knew.

  “I’ll miss you,” said Imorean. He tried and failed to keep his lips from trembling.

  Amelia gave a shaky smile. “See you soon.”

  Imorean tried to smile. No smile came. A grief he couldn’t choke down held him in an iron grip. “See … see you …”

  Tears tracked to the concrete floor. Letting go. No one ever said it would be like this. Agonizing was never the word anyone used for it. But it was better this way. Paths diverged. He had been on this track a long time – longer than perhaps even he had ever realized. He had never imagined, though, that it would take him this far away from his family. He couldn’t say goodbye. It was too final. Too savage. It was like a death sentence. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against his mother’s. Rachel and Isaac clung to him. A goodbye needed to be said. But the words failed. No. He couldn’t say goodbye. But that was what this was. Total separation.

  Inmerael’s words came back to him. Death does not separate love, Imorean. It never can.

  If death couldn’t separate love, then neither would this. Imorean swallowed – it wasn’t helping him to choke back tears any longer. Love could never be truly broken. Imorean drew a breath. Human blood still flowed in him. His mother’s blood. The same blood he shared with Rachel and Isaac. That would never change. His love for them would never leave. Not even eternity could take that from him. Life. Hope. Memory. Love. Eternity would never take them. He wouldn’t let it.

  “See you soon.”

  Chapter 77

  Blue haze. Ridge lines rose to the sky, snaking the land like a sleeping dragon. Mountains where he had grown up. Imorean breathed. He was home – temporary, but, for a short while, he was home. A breeze lifted his hair from his forehead. Two leather straps kept his sword to his back. Stone held firm underfoot. He bit the inside of his cheek and tucked his hands into his pockets. From this vantage point in the Blue Ridge, he could just make out the fringes of Blowing Rock. His family was there. Home. Living. Existing. Without him. All trace of him had been cleaned out. Pictures edited, memories blurred. Birth and death records, insurance, they had all been adjusted. Even mail records had been altered. There was a spare bedroom now. School yearbooks had been destroyed. A rusting pickup truck that had never had a driver stood derelict just off his old driveway. It was like Imorean Frayneson had never existed here.

  Breath caught in Imorean’s chest. But he was here. He was alive. He untucked one hand and raised it. He had burned the page of his life to ash. Choice. Choice had brought him here. A few heatless tongues of flame licked his fingers. He shook his hand to extinguish them. He hadn’t realized he had been summoning them at all. He closed his eyes and folded his arms. His permanent address was now Felsenmeer Arctic Research Station, Baffin Island, Nunavut, Canada. He still existed – but in the eyes of his mother, the eyes of all of Blowing Rock, he had never been born. He had grown up here, but now he wa
s just another nameless face. He straightened as he sensed rainbow landing nearby.

  “Ryan and Baxter say Toddy’s settled back in Bayboro. Life altered. Memories changed over. Like popping in new software,” said Roxy, coming up behind him and dropping her phone into her pocket. “Ryan said they left him happy. Hanging out with his parents, watching TV. None of them have any idea. Raphael made sure of that. He’s on his way here now.”

  Imorean nodded. “Good. He deserves it. A long life – a happy life. It’s exactly what he deserves. Who knows, maybe he will go into chemistry.”

  Imorean blinked fast. Tears gathered in his eyes. This had happened so many times since Antarctica that he had lost count. He looked back at the blurred mountain ridges. Gabriel was down there at the moment, holding peace, safety, and contentment over his family until Raphael arrived. This was Gabriel’s goodbye. The last bit of comfort he could give to the family he had loved. Maybe it was only right that Gabriel be the last one out the door. A tear eked its way out of Imorean’s eye. He swiped it away. He was the one his family had to forget more than anything else. He couldn’t be there at the last moments of this reality that they remembered. He just couldn’t.

  “You doing okay?” asked Roxy, gripping his shoulder tight.

  Imorean shook his head as his lower lip trembled. “Not all things end the way we think they should, huh? This is a happy ending for them.”

  Roxy gave him a small smile. There was no happiness in it. “But not for you.”

  “… No.”

  “I rewrote our ending. I accepted my hybridization. Turns out, Diniel was my maker. We sealed the deal at Sunderholm. Say hi to your newest, less-hybridized angel.”

  Imorean’s head snapped up and he stared at her. “You – do you realize –?”

  “Don’t lecture me, Imorean. Let’s face it, you wouldn’t last a day without me. The least I can do is try to keep up with you.” Her eyes softened. “I told you I was never going to leave you. You’re stuck with me. Well, I say me. I should say ‘us’. Ryan’s staying with me. We’re going to track down his maker once we get back to Felsenmeer. And Baxter’s. And Kadia’s. And Colton’s. Stuck with us.”

  Imorean smiled at her. For the first time since Erebus, he felt warmth in the emotion. “Yeah. I guess I am. There’s no one I would rather be stuck with.”

  Rainbow feathers touched white, and Imorean looked back out over the mountains. Ten years. That was the minimum estimate Raphael had given for how long it would be before he could safely approach his family again and not uncover any memories that were too fresh, too painful. Imorean closed his eyes. One year for each month Amelia, Rachel and Isaac had been with Vortigern, plus three extra years for safety. He would miss the entirety of Rachel and Isaac’s youth. Their middle and high school. Their laughter. Their boredom. Their heartbreaks. Their triumphs. He would miss it all. Would he have aged by the time he saw them again? If he were to age normally, he would be close to thirty when he returned. But he wouldn’t age like normal. Time had frozen on him. The world could change in ten years – but he would remain constant. He swallowed. His mother. He could walk past her in the street tomorrow and she would not know him. Who would they all be in ten years?

  Stone crunched and Imorean turned. He felt green before he completed the turn. Michael stood behind them. Imorean quirked a small smile as Michael approached, coming to stand on his other side. “It will pass faster than you think.”

  Imorean looked up at him. “I hope you’re right. What about all the people who knew them? Who thought they had died?”

  “Other memories have been altered. Lies have been told. Gabriel is good at fabrication. Your family, I am sure, has a solid alibi.”

  A wind rustled through the mountain trees, swaying their tops. Strands of white hair fell across Imorean’s face. He gritted his teeth as his eyes heated.

  Emerald feathers brushed white. “We are here with you, Imorean. You are not alone. We will not leave you.”

  Roxy nudged him. “Whether you like it or not.”

  Imorean breathed, life flowed inexorably out of and into him. He was alive. They were alive. Separate. But they were all alive. The world, once upended, was righting and reemerging into a place where the sun shone again. It wasn’t the same world that had upended itself all those months ago, nor was it the same sun, but it was close enough, and, for now, he would settle for close enough.

  “They’ll be okay, right?”

  Michael looked at him, green eyes piercing. “More than. They are alive. Hard times will come. Easy times. Good and bad ones. Life will come, Imorean. They are no longer prisoners, no longer trapped by the wounds of their minds. They are free. And you will be able to watch over them – when you have the chance. Everything will be fine.”

  “I don’t want to leave them.”

  Roxy smiled. “They don’t need a nanny, Imorean.”

  Michael put a hand on his shoulder. “You provided them with a way to live. You need to continue living as well. There is much more for you to learn. You are the fifth Archangel now. We still have work to do. Erebus needs closing. For now, it is barred, but there are chinks in its armor. There is still darkness in the world – there always will be – but it is darkness that we now have the power to fight. Let them live as you yourself continue to live. One day, on a day much sooner than you think, they will be ready to see you again and you will find them once more. Live not only for that day, but for the days between now and then and all the days beyond.”

  Imorean nodded and took a deep breath. “Just give me a minute. A minute more. I …” He heaved another breath and looked at the sky. “I have a lot to say goodbye to.”

  Breath shuddered as Imorean felt Michael move to allow his arm to settle around both of his shoulders. Imorean let his composure fall and stepped close, leaning on him. He needed Michael’s stability, his confidence, his unwavering strength. Him. Michael, alone, could feel everything that he was feeling – secondhand, but he could still feel it. Next to him, Michael swallowed. Imorean couldn’t help but wonder if Michael had finally begun to understand and empathize with his emotions. Brown eyes lifted and Imorean stared out over the mountains, then he closed his eyes as a breeze caught his hair again, blowing it away from his face. Roxy’s hand caught his own, tangling their fingers together and squeezing tight. He needed her, too. Her optimism, her emotional awareness, her enduring faith in him. She was his rock. She may not have been able to feel every one of his emotions in the way that Michael could, but she could understand him without needing to. She knew him.

  In a wave, emotion crashed in. Unnamable. Heartrending. Imorean pulled a breath, hoping Michael and Roxy couldn’t hear the way it shuddered in his chest. He gritted his teeth and held as steady as grief would allow. A part of him would always stay here. Fifth Archangel. The Archangel of fire. Combination of Inmerael and Michael. And Amelia Watson. A part of him would always be Imorean Frayneson from Blowing Rock, North Carolina. No amount of eternity would ever take that. No amount of Archangel would ever change that.

  Brown eyes opened. “Felsenmeer?”

  Michael nodded, great wings folding. “Felsenmeer.”

  “Let’s go home,” said Roxy, giving him a smile. Imorean tried to return it, but the emotion faltered at his lips.

  A rush of air scattered a few small pebbles as Michael took off, dual wings working in tandem as he ascended. Roxy took off next, rainbow wings spinning color under the midafternoon sun. A few clouds scudded overhead, marring the deep blue. It would rain later and breathe a breath of life into the mountains. Imorean looked into the sky after Michael and Roxy as they ascended, his mentor and his best friend. Then he looked over his shoulder. Blowing Rock glittered on the mountainside behind him. His family was there. Safe. And one day, he would come back. He would come home to them. But not yet. Not until they were ready. Brown eyes turned back to the sky above. Michael and Roxy hovered, waiting for him. It was time to go. The future called him onward. Felsenmeer, his su
rrogate home, willed him to return. The Blue Ridge Mountains would still be here in ten years. He would come back. No power in existence, past or future, could keep him away. White wings spread. Imorean pushed off the ground, his feet leaving the soil where he had grown up, and ascended into the perfectly imperfect sky.

  Epilogue

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Ten years later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  There was no place more beautiful than Blowing Rock in early springtime. At least, that was what Amelia Watson thought. She put her hands on her hips and took a breath. A hike had been exactly what she needed. She paused on an open area of ridge and looked down over the valley. Blowing Rock shone like a gemstone under the sun. This was a well-used trail and she was familiar with it. It had always been a good place for her to gather her thoughts.

  “Nigel!” she called.

  A chocolate Labrador trotted out of the woods. His muzzle was gray now. He had been a birthday present for Rachel and Isaac’s joint ninth birthday. He had been a mature dog when they adopted him, so Amelia wasn’t entirely sure how old he was.

  “Good boy,” she said, patting his head and taking a seat on a nearby bench. She could take a break for a few minutes. She fiddled with the clasp on Nigel’s leash. He didn’t need to wear it up here. Her thoughts turned. Isaac and Rachel were graduating high school this year. College lay ahead of them. Rachel going to Georgia and Isaac to the east coast. It was a huge step. Why she felt so apprehensive, though, she didn’t know. Was it because the twins were going to be away from each other for the first time? Because they were going to be so far away? Just general anxiety? She didn’t know. She sighed and leaned back on the bench. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. That there was some key to her fear that she may have overlooked.

  Footsteps sounded on the trail and Amelia patted her knee. “Nigel, come. Sit.”

  She smiled as Nigel sat down next to her feet. He was one of the most obedient dogs she had ever encountered. Four men and one woman rounded the bend in the trail. Amelia couldn’t help but bristle. Then she noticed their clothes. Joggers. She relaxed a fraction. Two passed her by. Near identical twins. One of them paused half a step as he passed her, his hazel eyes meeting hers. Amelia gave a wary smile. He was good-looking, but she was too old for him. God, she was going to be forty-eight this year. Where had the time gone? The jogger tripped over a root, nearly face-planting on the earth. Amelia resisted the urge to snort.