Renegade Guardians 1

by Kyra Quinn

  Andras’s eyes flickered. “The camphelem,” he said. “They have offered every demon in the Shadowrealm a reward for your capture. And you intend to stroll through the front gate?”

  I followed Aster’s lead and shrugged, most of my focus on maintaining my composure in front of our latest guest. “Might as well go to them before they come for me.”

  A strange expression flickered across the demon’s face. “I can’t decide if you two are brave or stupid.”

  “But you’ll help us?”

  “Absolutely not. You’ve yet to offer me anything besides a headache.”

  I shot Aster a panicked glance and said a silent prayer she had a plan. What did we have left to give to befit a Marquis? My stomach clenched as I pictured Andras deciding our next impossible task, perhaps a trip to the Gardens or a virgin soul. Or worse, whatever soul I had.

  “Name your price.” Aster gestured to the surrounding room. “If it’s money you want, I can pay it. If it’s magic, I can perform your spell. I will help you seduce however many souls you ask.”

  Andras’s head tilted to the side as his crimson eyes studied her. “You’re desperate.”

  I bit back the urge to laugh. If Andras only knew. I didn’t want to imagine how he’d react to news of a god trapped below our feet.

  “Perhaps. I could figure out where the veil is on my own if we had more time, but that’s the one thing I can’t replicate or produce more of.”

  Andras’s lips curled as he peered down his nose at her. “Very well. Release me from this trap and I’ll lead you to the veil after the sun sets.”

  Aster’s eyes narrowed. “Why not now? What’s your price?”

  “Not now, because the veil is only visible when the moonlight strikes it. And I haven’t decided my price yet. I’ll think on it.”

  Aster tilted her head. “And why the sudden change of heart?”

  The corners of his mouth twitched. “I’m interested to see where this goes. The leverage over you is a pleasant perk.”

  I didn’t like the thought of owing Andras a favor. Aster seemed to agree because she stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest. “That’s poor business. How can we determine if the value is acceptable if you withhold information?”

  Andras barked out a laugh as he called her bluff. “Come now, be honest. Does it matter what my price is? From the looks of it, you’ll accept whatever I ask.”

  “How do we know we can trust you if we release you?” I asked. “What’s to stop you from killing us?”

  Andras tapped the floor with his foot. “This trap? Not the most efficient ward against a demon of my strength. It might hold your standard foot soldier without a problem. But I could’ve broken out already if I concentrated. So, I’ll try this once more. Free me, or I will break out and our deal will be off.”

  My eyes flickered between Aster and Andras as I tried to calculate our odds of victory if a fight erupted. We had him outnumbered, but Viktor and Remiel both labeled me the weakest fighter the night before. I didn’t feel like much of an asset in our fight against a sinister demon.

  Aster must have had the same thought. She gave the monster a skeptical glare and stormed from the room without a word. She returned a moment later with a small pot filled with water. Aster hovered a hand above the surface of the liquid and mumbled a few words, then swung her arm to toss the water at Andras. The circle of flames disappeared, Andras’s suit drenched.

  “Cute,” he grumbled as he wrung the bottom of his jacket between his hands. “You must be a hit at birthday parties with all the magic tricks.”

  Aster flashed him a smirk. “I have my fans.”

  But Andras didn’t acknowledge her. He glued his eyes to my face, the intensity of his stare enough to make me wish a hole would open beneath my feet and swallow me. I bit my lip and fought back the urge to squirm as he hovered over me, his gaze curious.

  “I didn’t believe the stories at first. Most of the Shadowrealm still doesn’t. But I’ll be damned if you don’t look just like her,” he said, his voice smooth.

  “Who?” I squeaked.

  “Your mother.”

  “That’s enough of that,” Aster interrupted. She scurried over to where Andras towered over me, her eyes wide. “Lili, can you come down to the kitchen with me and lend me a hand with breakfast?”

  I raised a brow but agreed. Anything to escape from under the heat of Andras’s stare. I gave him a quick apology as I bolted out of the room behind Aster. Even after we’d made our way downstairs and into the kitchen, my flesh tingled from the heat of his stare. His words played over in my mind like a mantra: your mother. As I busied myself with cleaning up behind Aster, I said a silent prayer I’d never have to meet her.

  *

  Aster disappeared not long after lunchtime to bathe. It took every ounce of dignity I had not to reach out for her hand and beg her to stay. I’d never considered myself needy. Then again, I’d also never been trapped in a house with a god and a Marquis of the Shadowrealm on each floor. Part of me expected fire to rain from the sky when the angels realized we had Osius. Or worse yet, an all-out war when they saw the demon.

  Andras didn’t enjoy being confined to the top floor of the house, but he complied. I didn’t ask what excuse Aster had given him for staying upstairs. Whatever lie she’d sold him seemed to pacify him for the moment. If Andras realized we had Osius a floor below he wouldn’t have needed time to consider his price.

  Aster set Andras and I up in her bedroom with a stack of books and a few decks of playing cards. I thumbed through the pile of books on her bed, only half in text I recognized and could read. Andras watched me from the corner with his chin cradled in his hand.

  After a few minutes of Aster’s absence, the silence became too much for me to take. I stared down at the book in my lap. “You said you knew my mother?”

  “Knew?” Andras chuckled. “Know. Everyone where I’m from knows Daeva. Most of the people here do, too.”

  “Daeva? She’s my mother?” My stomach clenched as stories of the dark goddess rushed through my memory. He had to be lying. Daeva only birthed monsters.

  A memory flashed through my mind of the one and only time Father had allowed company to stay overnight at the manor. I could no longer recall the family’s name or how Father had made their acquaintance, but I could still picture their daughter’s chubby cheeks and gap-toothed smile as if I’d met her days before. We’d stayed up well past midnight trading secretes and stories. I told her all about the ghosts I imagined within the walls of Father’s passé manor. Once finished, she whispered what she knew of the Mother of Darkness.

  No one knew where Daeva had come from or why Cimera had trapped her within the Shadowrealm. Her hatred for humanity corroded her soul until only bitterness remained. Driven mad by her imprisonment and rage, the dark goddess seduced the shadows to bring life to the Shadowfey. If not for Cimera’s protection, Daeva’s darkness would have swallowed Astryae whole centuries ago.

  Andras frowned. “The stories aren’t all bad. Perhaps you asked the wrong people.”

  “And you’re the right one?”

  “I’ve known your mother longer than you’ve been alive. We’re family, of sorts. I think you’d be better off asking me than listening to the mage talk out of her ass. Perhaps your discomfort comes from speaking with me in my true form.”

  He snapped his fingers. The monster before me vanished. A human man stood in his place, topaz eyes sparkling as he flashed me an impossibly beautiful smile. My heart raced as a cold sweat soaked my hands. Though I’d only seen him from a distance, I’d recognize the ringleader’s haunting eyes anywhere.

  “You,” I said, my voice breathy. “You’re the man from the carnival.”

  “Were you there?” Andras grinned. “Marvelous act we’ve put together, right?”

  “Why? What use have you for money?”

  “None!” Andras laughed. “As strange as it sounds, some humans like to be scared. It helps them feel m
ore alive. And it’s an easy way to feed some of Daeva’s pickier creations. Not every Shadowfey can survive on leftovers.”

  I raked my fingers through my hair, torn between telling him to screw off and selfish curiosity. Selfishness won.

  “What’s she like?”

  Andras sighed. “A goddess made of mortal flesh. She’s an inspiration to all our kind, to be honest. Little girls born in the shadows grow up wanting to be her someday. Daeva has never lost a fight, never betrayed her word, and never harmed an innocent. Can your beloved gods or angels say the same?”

  I blinked and shook my head. “You’re lying. That makes little sense.”

  “Why not? Because the mainstream narrative here in Astryae has told you the Gardens are good, and the Shadows are evil?” Andras cocked his head. “Funny how our side never has a say in that.”

  “You’re demons.”

  “Which means what? The demons who serve under Daeva’s command are more honorable in death than most men are in life. The souls as tainted as people like to imagine are the demons fed to the grinder.”

  I flinched as he squished his hands together and rubbed. “Right. Because a place where people are fed to a grinder to create energy is normal.”

  “Only the ones who deserve it.”

  “And the rest? What does she do with so many demons? She doesn’t strike me as someone into parenting.”

  Fire flashed through Andras’s eyes. “Watch your tongue. Why do you think it took so long for anyone to find you? The magic that shielded you from us all these years was the protective ward she cast over you the night she delivered you. The seal only broke when your powers emerged.”

  “That doesn’t explain why she left me.” Heat rose to my face. Why did I even care why she left me? I had no proof Andras hadn’t lied. “The demons she’s sent to assassinate me didn’t seem like the warmest welcome, either.”

  Andras grunted. “Newer demons struggle to control their powers here in Astryae. Some have gone mad after spending too much time above surface. Daeva didn’t pick her best talent for the job, but their orders were never to kill you. Your mother wanted you delivered to her alive.”

  “Why?”

  “She wants to meet you. To see who you’ve become in her absence.”

  “Why didn’t she stick around and raise me? Or come find out for herself?”

  “Why don’t you ask her yourself?” When my expression didn’t change, he continued, “I don’t have all the answers. I told you before, I thought you were one of Daeva’s stories invented for fun. I’m sure your father had something to do with it, and the rest was likely your stepfather.”

  “Stepfather?”

  Andras laughed. “I forget how ignorant you are. Forgive me. Daeva is the wife of Zanox. She’s worshiped by the people as the Dark Mother, the Queen of Night. I guess that would mean you’re a princess.”

  Princess of the Shadowrealm. My throat tightened. No wonder the angels wanted me dead. Like every little girl in Faomere, I’d dreamed of growing up to marry a prince and live in a castle. Who didn’t want to be a princess? But the princess of shadows?

  I had no place in the Gardens or among their creations. Fate reserved a seat on a throne of darkness for me. And to think I’d once thought marriage would be the greatest travesty of my life.

  I bolted from the room, my hands around my stomach as I gagged. The sound of Andras’s manic laughter chased me down the stairs. I ripped the front door open and fell to my knees next to the bushes. My lunch evacuated my body in waves, my skin like ice. My head throbbed as I struggled to digest the conversation with Andras.

  I groaned as I picked myself up off the stairs. I raked a hand through my hair and paced in front of the steps. Seconds turned to minutes as I puzzled over my options. No matter how strongly Remiel and Viktor voiced their opposition, we didn’t have a better solution. Without Andras, we had no way to recover the scythe. I sucked in a deep breath and stomped inside. We’d come too far to let a man with a weird mustache scare me off. I swallowed my fear and marched back to Aster’s bedroom with my head high. I hated it, but Aster’s plan was our only plan. The only path to light was through the shadows. No matter what I did, I couldn’t outrun destiny.

  If my mother wanted to chat, I’d bring the talk to her front door.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Through the Veil

  “Come, Lili, eat something. You will need the energy tonight.” Aster pointed at the china plate of food in front of me with her brass fork. “Even magical powers need sustenance.”

  I glanced down at the hodgepodge of vegetables and mystery meat Aster labeled dinner. She drizzled a rich burgundy sauce of some form over the plate, the collage of colors overwhelming. Aster’s plate was half-empty, Andras’s nearly gone. Did demons not have taste buds?

  “This is better than I expected for human food.” Andras shoved the last bite on his plate into his mouth. “It’s rare to meet someone who prepares boar better than it tastes alive.”

  My stomach lurched. Out of all the terrible things I’d witnessed in my lifetime, at least I’d never witnessed a demon feed. Daughter of darkness or not, I’d never felt an urge to sink my teeth into a moving animal.

  “Not a boar.” Aster’s eyes twinkled as she smirked. “Wild snagri. Quite the recipe, right?”

  “You must show me how it’s prepared. If you survive tonight, that is.”

  “How can I teach you if we don’t? I would say it gives you an incentive to ensure our safety.”

  Andras reached for his glass of ambrosia. “There’s only so much help I can offer you. The only person in the Shadowrealm with more power than Daeva is Zanox himself.”

  Zanox. The mention of his name made my blood run cold. Stories from the mornings spent in the Temple next to my father flooded my thoughts.

  From what the Ministers said, Zanox once had a place in the Elysian Gardens among the other gods and goddesses. Twin brother to the goddess Cimera, the universe once worshiped his ability to bring balance. Where Cimera offered light, Zanox offered the reprieve of darkness. He and Cimera were worshiped as the creators of all until her union with the god Rhayer.

  The stories varied, and none were clear on why Cimera cast her brother into the shadows, but his banishment remained consistent through all variations of the story. While the Temple in Faomere still held dozens of statues and depictions of Cimera and Rhayer, they reduced Zanox’s name to nothing more than whispers in the dark. The humans praised Cimera as the creator of life and feared Zanox as the keeper of chaos.

  I’d never seen a statue or portrait of Zanox. No one had. Legend said Cimera and the other gods cast him out of the Elysian Gardens and into the Shadowrealm centuries before humanity’s creation. I’d always assumed him to be a thing of myth. A scary story told to keep naughty children in line. A dull ache settled into my chest as I lamented the days when belief in the gods was optional.

  Of all the things I’d aspired to be in life, stepdaughter to the most savage god in all the universe was not one. Not that my mother sounded any better. I cleared my throat and muttered, “The Temple never mentioned Zanox having a wife.”

  I shoved a bite of food in my mouth and ignored the rubbery texture. Andras was wrong. He had to be. I could handle the thought of my birth mother being a demon. But Zanox’s wife? The Mother of Darkness and Queen of the Shadowrealm? My stomach twisted at the implication.

  “Why would they?” Andras smirked. “No matter what the Apostles and Ministers say, the Temple’s job is not to teach you truth. They fill your heads with whatever nonsense they must to control the people with minimal effort.”

  I scoffed. “That’s an awfully cynical view on religion.”

  “More like an honest view on politics. The King and his men can only control so much of Astryae at once. His men have never set foot in some of the northern villages. Who do you think governs those people? Their religious leaders and village elders.”

  I shook my head. “The Temple
in Faomere had little impact on our day-to-day lives.”

  “Only because your guardian stopped taking you,” Andras corrected. “He had concerns your real father might search for you there. Most of the households in Faomere are devoted to the Sect. Why do you think you received so few offers for courtship prior to your birthday? Most girls of your status have marriages arranged long before they turn eighteen.”

  I nudged the food on my plate around with my fork and bit the inside of my cheek. Who cared about courtship and romance anyway? The last thing I wanted to do was trade my body and freedom for the security of a man’s wages. The fatuous demon prick did not understand what he was talking about.

  Aster frowned. “Daeva’s always been the Crown’s dirty little secret. No one talks about her the way they talk about Zanox. They’d rather forget they helped to create that monster.”

  I pushed myself back and stood from the table. My head swam as I muttered, “I think I need some air. Excuse me.”

  I didn’t wait for Aster to answer. I scurried away from the dining table and out of the front door onto Aster’s steps. My chest felt as if an elephant had planted itself in the center. I threw myself down on the steps and waited for my heartbeat to slow.

  In a different context, I might have found Carramar beautiful. The setting sun washed the sky in shades of pink and orange, the image more like a painting than any sky I’d seen above Faomere. Carriages trotted down the street on their way into town, the mares as unique in appearance as the people I’d met during my stay. I pressed my fingertips against my temples and begged the pounding of my head to cease.

  I sat there for some time, until Aster’s voice appeared in the doorway. “Are you ready to leave?”

  Her hair fell out of a messy knot on top of her head. She’d lined her eyes and lips in thick makeup once more. As my eyes fell to her outfit, I couldn’t help but giggle.

  “Is that what you’re wearing?” I asked. “Are we going to the underworld or back to the gentlemen’s club?”

  Aster smacked my arm. “Rude. You don’t see me picking on that tragic haircut of yours.”