The Maybe Series

by Ella Miles

  The man looks to Tony, who nods his head and smiles.

  The man still looks concerned, but he knows his ass is on the line if the project doesn’t start today. He rushes the papers over to me and shows me where to sign. I sign and initial each spot, barely glancing at the papers. I should probably read them before signing, but this man is in an obvious rush. I don’t want to give him a heart attack by waiting for me to read them. And it feels good to be making a decision for the company even if it is one that has already been agreed upon.

  “Thanks,” the man says, rushing back out of Tony’s office.

  When I turn back to Tony, his sly smile is plastered on his lips.

  “What?”

  He shakes his head as he tries to lose the smile, but he can’t. “I think, with a little training, you would make an excellent CEO. You probably shouldn’t start off in that position, but I think a few years under your belt would get you ready.”

  “You’re crazy. All I did was sign some papers. I didn’t do anything.”

  “You did more than just sign some papers. You convinced a man who has never met you that you were in charge. And don’t think I didn’t notice that, after you left last time, you didn’t just change one small thing about my numbers. You completely redid everything to make it work. You saw trends that no one else saw. That’s impressive. You are obviously a natural when it comes to numbers and finance. We could use someone like you in this department.”

  I smile weakly. “Thanks.” But I don’t feel like I’m capable of doing anything.

  Tony stands, returning back to his chair. “Killian is good-looking, too, though. He wouldn’t be a terrible choice either.” He winks at me.

  I frown. I don’t want him giving me dating advice. I don’t want anyone giving me dating advice. He doesn’t understand what’s going on in Killian’s head.

  “He doesn’t care about me. He just wants to marry me to get the position.”

  Tony narrows his eyes. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that. Word is, he just got promoted without marrying you. He might care more about you than you think.”

  But all I hear is that Killian got promoted to CEO. Last night, he knew the decision my grandfather had made. And Killian chose not to tell me that my time was already up.

  I no longer get a choice.

  “I need to go,” I say.

  Tony nods as I stand and leave without a good-bye.

  I take my phone out to call my grandfather, to tell him to meet me earlier, that it can’t wait. I dial his number, but I get his voice mail. I end the call before I leave a message. That’s when I notice the messages from Killian.

  There are three text messages, asking why I left this morning without talking to him, telling me that we need to talk, telling me what to do.

  I also notice the seven missed calls and two voice mails from him. I delete the voice mails without listening to them. I don’t want to hear what he has to say. If he couldn’t say it last night before fucking me, then I don’t want to hear it now.

  I pace back and forth thirty-five times in my father’s office before I hear the familiar creak of the door being pushed open. My grandfather is standing in the doorway. He doesn’t look happy to see me, but I don’t give a shit.

  I can’t wait any longer, and the words fall from my mouth. “You made Killian CEO!” I shout at him.

  He calmly walks in, setting a briefcase down on the desk. He doesn’t say anything or even acknowledge me as he takes a seat behind my father’s desk.

  “You made Killian CEO,” I say again, only slightly calmer.

  He sighs in frustration. “Yes.”

  “I thought he had to marry me first. I thought it had to be agreed upon between the three of us.”

  “He did. He signed the papers yesterday afternoon, agreeing to marry you in six months. So, in good faith, I promoted him to CEO. He doesn’t have the shares yet. That will happen after the wedding.”

  “What if I don’t agree to the wedding?”

  “You will. You don’t have another choice. This is what is best for you.”

  “No, it’s not. I don’t want this. I don’t want to be married to a man who doesn’t love me. I don’t want to marry someone just because you wished I were a grandson instead of your granddaughter. I won’t do it.”

  “Kinsley, stop this. You will marry Killian. He’s a good man. And I know he cares about you.”

  “You’re wrong. He doesn’t give a fuck about anything other than his work and finding his next good fuck.”

  His face turns red at my words. I take a deep breath, realizing what I just said to my grandfather. I’ve never cussed in front of him. I’ve never talked so crudely.

  But, right now, he’s not my grandfather. He’s the enemy.

  He calms his face before walking over to stand in front of me. He places both hands on either side of my shoulders. “This is what your father wanted, princess. He wanted you to marry Killian. He wanted you to support Killian in the role of running the company. He wanted you to have children to pass this company along to—just as my father did, just as I did to your father, just as your father is doing to you.”

  I feel a tear slip out of my eye. “But that’s not what my father is doing. That’s not what you are doing. I’m not getting the company with the same conditions as you got the company with or the same conditions as my father got. I’m being forced to marry someone, and only then do I get any say in the company. I’m not getting the same terms.”

  He smiles, like he thinks he’s got me now, like he thinks he’s won. “See? That’s where you are wrong, Kinsley. You are getting the same terms as everyone else in the family. We all had marriages that were arranged by our parents. We all had marriages that were for the betterment of the company.”

  I frown as his words sink in. His words can’t be true.

  “That’s not true. Mom and Dad met in college their junior year.”

  He shakes his head. “No. Your mother was the daughter of the chairman of the Nevada Gaming Commission. We were having some trouble with getting our newest casino approved. Your father fixed the problem, proving his loyalty to the company and to this family above everything else.”

  My mouth drops. I had no idea. I always thought my parents were in love. I always thought they cared about each other but maybe not. That might be why my father spent so many nights alone in his casinos instead of at home with my mother. That can’t be true though. My mother was devastated when Dad died. She still is.

  “You’re lying.”

  He shakes his head. “Ask your mother.”

  I plan on it. “It doesn’t change anything. I still won’t marry Killian.”

  “You’re stubborn, just like your father. He eventually caved though. You will, too.” He glances at his watch. “You need to go home and get ready. I had a dress sent to your hotel room. I don’t know why you stay here when you have a beautiful room at home.” He sighs. “Be ready at eight tonight. That’s when Killian will be picking you up.”

  I shake my head. “I’m not marrying him.”

  “Maybe not. But he at least deserves the respect of you telling him to his face.”

  I nod. “I’ll go.”

  He’s right. I need to put an end to whatever this is that’s going on between Killian and me. I turn to leave, but his words stop me.

  “There’s one more thing you should know before you make a decision. If you refuse to marry Killian, the money is gone. I control the trust your father left you. You will have nothing but a theater degree to find you work. I’ll call everyone and tell them never to hire you as a model again. You are doing this, or you are no longer my granddaughter. If you walk away from this, you are no longer a Felton.”

  Those are the words that will haunt me for the rest of the day. They are the words that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

  “You are no longer a Felton.”

  I wish they were true. I wish I were never born a Felton.

  I’d th
ought my future was completely out of my control. I was wrong.

  My grandfather just gave me control. I just don’t like my choices.

  I don’t wear the cream-colored dress lying on my bed when I get back to my hotel room. It’s a beautiful dress, one that I’m sure my grandfather spared no expense to get for me. But I’m not wearing it. I don’t know if it’s because he chose it or if it’s because it’s an act of defiance to wear anything but that dress. It’s possibly my last act of defiance. I don’t know if it’s because I can’t stand to wear any color that resembles a wedding gown. I don’t know if it’s because I had a beautiful red dress that I love and haven’t had an occasion to wear it to. Whatever the reason, I chose red.

  I chose this red ballgown. I don’t know what it means. I’m no closer to deciding if I’m going to say yes or no when Killian asks me. And I know he’ll ask me. That’s what tonight is about. That’s why I’m wearing this pretty dress. That’s why I’ve spent hours fixing my long blonde hair. That’s why I’ve spent hours covering my face in makeup.

  Tonight is the night I decide the rest of my life. I just don’t know what future that will be.

  I hear the knock on the door. I glance at my phone. It’s eight on the dot. Killian’s on time tonight. I peek through the hole in the door and see him dressed in a tux. I take a deep breath, and then I open the door.

  I watch him lick his lips as his eyes travel over my body. I hold my breath, trying to calm my beating heart, but it doesn’t slow. His eyes catch mine, and it’s not a look of lust peering back at me although a hint of that is still there. It’s a look I’ve never seen come from his eyes, and I have no idea what it means.

  For a second, I imagine that this is how it feels when you are in love, and you know tonight is the night—the night your life will change forever, the night he will get down on a nervous knee and ask you to marry him.

  If only I could find someone who would do this for real…

  If only he were doing this for more than a promotion…

  If only I were doing this for more than family loyalty…

  He regroups himself and puts a fake smile on his lips. “I wasn’t sure you would answer.”

  I return his fake smile. “I wasn’t sure you would come.”

  “You didn’t return my calls.”

  “I deleted the voice mails.”

  He sighs. “We have a lot to talk about.”

  I nod, but I don’t say anything. I give him no indication of how I feel, of how I will answer when he asks—not that I even know myself.

  He sighs again. “Let’s go, princess.”

  We walk out of the hotel and casino without saying a word. I don’t say a word until we make it out onto the street where I see a horse and carriage waiting for us.

  I gasp when I see it. I wasn’t expecting anything like it.

  “I thought you deserved the full princess experience.”

  I smile as he helps me into the carriage before climbing in next to me. I really do feel like a princess in this thing. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing though. I’m not sure I like being a princess. A princess, I’ve realized, has no control over her life. Her life is to her country, to her family. It’s just like how I live my life for the company, for my family.

  I wasn’t expecting this. I wasn’t expecting effort from a man who was just doing this because he had to. I was expecting dinner and a proposal. But I’m afraid he’s put more effort into it than that.

  The carriage takes us down the main strip and then turns off, moving us throughout the city. I have no idea where we are going. I’m not sure I care. I’m lost in this perfect moment.

  Killian places his arm around my shoulders, and I lean my head against his chest.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispers.

  “For what?” I breathe back.

  “For lying to you. For breaking you and Eli up. For controlling any bit of your life. For ruining your date. For forcing you into a life you don’t want. For everything.”

  “None of this is your fault.” I suck in a deep breath. “You don’t have to do this though. You already have the job. It’s not going to be taken away just because you don’t do this.”

  I pause, waiting for him to confirm or deny my statement. He does neither. He just looks at me with the same intensity he always does.

  So, I continue, “We don’t even know each other. I don’t know how many siblings you have. I don’t your parents’ names. I don’t know your favorite color or food or band. I don’t know where you grew up. I don’t know why you are such a workaholic. I don’t know why you never want to get married or have kids. I don’t know if we are compatible together. I don’t know anything about you, other than you are good in bed and intelligent enough to run the company.”

  His expression grows grave, but he doesn’t say a word.

  “I’m a huge Justin Bieber fan—like, huge. I’ve seen him in concert six times. My favorite movie is The Notebook. I’ve watched it at least a hundred times, and I still cry every single time. I have enough clothes and makeup to fill three regular-size rooms. I hate large houses. I’d prefer to live in hotel rooms the rest of my life.

  “It is always going to take me longer than it should to make my mind up about what I want to order and even longer to make up my mind about anything else. And I’m only occasionally going to be okay with you making those decisions for me. Although you’ll never really know when I want you to decide for me or when I want to make my own decisions.

  “I’m never going to be okay with just being a housewife. I’m always going to want to find a way to fight my way into a leadership position at the company. I’m always going to want the fairy tale. I’ll always want to be desperately in love and have kids.”

  His hand reaches up to my lips, squeezing them together, silencing me. “It doesn’t matter,” he says, never taking his eyes off mine. He slowly releases my lips.

  “It does. Trust me, you don’t want to be stuck listening to Justin Bieber for the rest of your life when you prefer Justin Timberlake.”

  He chuckles. “I don’t really like either.”

  “What? You don’t like JT?”

  “No,” he says, like I’m crazy for liking him.

  I shake my head. “See? You can’t do this. Your life would be filled with Justins and little kids running around and indecisiveness.” I tuck my hair behind my ear. “It’s not what you want.” But I’m not sure who I’m convincing with that statement.

  As I stare into his eyes, I want to know everything about him. I want to listen to whatever shitty music he enjoys. I want to meet his parents and siblings. I want to argue with him about how long it takes me to order. I just don’t want to marry him.

  The carriage stops in front of Crystal Waterfalls, my favorite casino. My eyes are wide as I stare at him. He climbs out before holding his hand out to me. I take it, and he helps me out.

  He doesn’t let go of my hand as we walk into the building that, to my surprise, is empty. I don’t see a soul walking around. I blink rapidly, thinking that what I am seeing is a dream. It’s not. The casino is a ghost town.

  I see a trail of rose petals on the floor. It starts next to the river that goes through the center of the hotel and casino. I let go of Killian’s hand as I make my way over to the edge of the river. I let my hand dip into the cold water, like I have done hundreds of times before. There are petals floating on top of the water.

  I slowly follow the trail of rose petals. I hear Killian walking behind me, but he doesn’t try to walk next to me. He lets me discover everything by myself.

  The rose petals follow the river. I follow them through the main casino floor, going past all the flashing lights of the slot machines, past the empty card tables, past the shops and restaurants. I follow them until they get to the door. It’s the door to my favorite place in the world.

  I hesitate at the door, trying to calm my beating heart. This is it. I push the door open, and at the same time
, I suck in a breath.

  It’s beautiful, even more beautiful than usual. Lights are strung over every tree. And the smell from all of the roses and fresh flowers in the garden overwhelm me, as they always do whenever I step into the hotel’s garden. The waterfall rushes water over its crest just as calmly as it always does.

  But what has taken my breath away are the rose petals and candles covering the floor. It looks like tiny shining stars on the floor of the garden.

  I slowly turn back to the door. Killian is standing in the doorway, looking at me with a smile on his face. His head cocks slowly to the side as I smile back at him.

  It’s a fairy tale in here. It’s just not real.

  I feel my body tremble as he walks silently to me until he is standing just inches from my body. I hear music start up in the distance. I glance away from Killian and see a violinist playing. I turn back to Killian.

  “I would have had her play Justin Bieber, if I had known.”

  His words make me smile a little brighter, but my body is still trembling.

  I watch his tongue run over his lip. I want his tongue on my lip.

  “My favorite movie is The Hangover. It makes me laugh every fucking time. I have a surprisingly little amount of clothing. I love playing poker and blackjack, even when I’m getting beaten by a girl. My parents both live in Las Vegas. I’ve lived here my whole life. I have one younger sister close to your age, one older sister, a brother-in-law—whom you already met—and a three-year-old nephew whom I would do anything for. I’m a workaholic. I’m stubborn. I’m controlling. I hate waiting for decisions. I’ve never wanted to get married. I’ve never wanted kids. I don’t have a favorite artist, but I’ve been listening to the song ‘Let Her Go’ by Passenger on repeat lately.”

  I swallow hard. He’s not going to propose. My head drops slightly in disappointment. This is good though. He needs to happy. At least one of us should be. I can give him that.

  My eyes widen though when I watch him drop to one knee as he holds my hand.

  “Princess, I know that we might not know everything there is to know about each other. I know that we, on paper, are all wrong for each other. I know you think the only reason I’m down on one knee right now is because of the loyalty I have for your father.