The Maybe Series

by Ella Miles

  I thrust faster and let go of her hair to reach one hand down between her legs to her clit.

  “Killian…” Her voice gets louder this time as I touch her. Loud enough that I’m afraid we are going to get caught.

  I consider slowing down so that she can control herself, but that’s not what I want. If she’s giving up control to me, I want to prove that her trust is warranted. I want to hear her scream my name, so everyone in this hotel knows that she is mine.

  I thrust inside her faster as I rub her clit in tight circles.

  “Killian…I’m…going…to…” She pants harder until she explodes in a scream that is too loud to be appropriate. And then I come right after, my moan equaling hers.

  I lower her to the ground just as I hear the door to the restroom open. Kinsley’s face turns a bright shade of pink.

  We wait as the woman who entered runs the faucet.

  Kinsley looks at me and starts giggling. I put my hand over her mouth so that she doesn’t give us away, but that just makes her giggle even more.

  Finally, after what seems like hours, the woman finally leaves. I unroll some toilet paper and clean between Kinsley’s legs.

  “You didn’t have to do that,” she says, curiously looking at me, as I wipe my cum from between her legs.

  “Yes, I did. Although it would have been sexy as hell for you to walk out of here with my cum running down your legs.”

  I move to tuck my cock back into my pants.

  “Let me.”

  I move my hands away and watch as she drops her head to my cock. She licks and sucks me clean.

  “Careful, or we will never get out of here,” I say as I begin to get hard again at her touch.

  She smiles and then finishes cleaning me off with her tongue before tucking me back into my pants. She walks out of the stall, and I follow her. I grab ahold of her hand, and we walk out of the restroom.

  “How did you know about this restroom?”

  “I took a wild guess. All of our hotels have a restroom near the back that only an occasional employee uses. I took my chances.”

  “You’re naughtier than I thought.”

  She smiles a smile that I don’t think has left her lips since I returned.

  We walk back toward the casino floor, both unsure of where to go or what we do next. The sex was about connecting, but we have so much to talk about, and I’m still not sure if we are going to wind up agreeing. I’m not sure if she’s going to walk away from me again. It’s a thought I can’t bear to face, but I have to talk to her, so I’m going to have to face that possibility.

  When we make it back to the casino floor, we just stop and look at each other, trying to decide what we do now.

  “Can I sleep at your place tonight? I gave away my hotel room,” Kinsley says.

  My grin returns to my face. I love the words that came out of her mouth even though I don’t understand why she gave away her hotel room or why she isn’t staying at her home.

  “Yes.”

  We don’t talk on the drive to my apartment. We don’t talk as we walk from the car to my apartment. And we don’t talk as I hold her in my arms on the couch.

  “I’m sorry,” we both say at the same time.

  I narrow my eyes at her as she scoots over on the couch, so we can look at each other, face-to-face. “You have nothing to be sorry about.”

  “Yes, I do. You told me the truth, and I didn’t believe you. I blamed you for what happened when you were just doing your job. I gave up on us.”

  I grab her hand to try to comfort her. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You trusted your family over a man who had lied to you before. That’s one of the reasons I love you. You are so connected to your family.”

  “Not anymore.”

  I sigh. “It kills me to see you hurting. It kills me to know that I destroyed your relationship with your family.”

  She shakes her head. “You didn’t destroy my relationship with my family. My father did.”

  “You shouldn’t hate your father. He loved you.”

  “Yeah, he loved me so much that he lied to me.”

  I sigh again. “It’s going to take a lot of time for you to forgive your father. Just give it time.” I realize I’m repeating the words that my mother said to me about my father.

  “Maybe.”

  I take a deep breath before I say the next part, the hard part, “There’s more, Kinsley. More that I just found out.”

  “What do you mean, there’s more?” she asks, dropping my hand.

  I look away, unable to hold her gaze as I further destroy her world.

  “Whatever it is, just tell me. It can’t be worse than finding out my father and Granddad are frauds and money launderers,” she says in a joking manner, trying to make light of the situation.

  I slowly look at her as I press my lips together.

  She sucks in a breath. “It’s that bad, huh?”

  I nod and take her hand in mine again. “You’re not safe here.”

  She sits back. “What?”

  “You’re not safe. Your father and grandfather weren’t just involved in money laundering and fraud. They were involved in something more.”

  She bites her lip but doesn’t speak. That’s when I realize I can’t tell her everything I know. It would just be putting her in more danger. I just need to tell her enough, so she knows that it’s not safe here.

  “While I was away, I went to Mexico. Your father went to Cancún, alone, on a business trip the week before he died. I decided to check it out to see where it might lead. When I got there, what I found…”

  “What did you find?”

  I shake my head, and I decide to lie, to give her just enough of the truth so that she will listen to me. So that she will understand that she isn’t safe. “Drugs. Guns. I don’t know yet why your father agreed to meet with criminals. I don’t know if he was working with them or if he even knew who he was doing business with, but those people aren’t safe,” I say, my voice speeding up as I talk.

  She closes her eyes and then slowly opens them. “It’s a lot to take in, knowing that my father might have been involved in worse than what I already know. I’m just having a hard time accepting it.”

  I nod. I try to give her space, but I can’t, not when I see her struggling so much with this. I pull her close to me until she is lying back on my chest.

  “I don’t want you going anywhere alone. Either I go with you, or you hire security. Understand?”

  She nods but doesn’t say anything.

  “Good.”

  At least I know she will be safe until I can figure out how to keep her safe permanently. I just don’t know if that’s going to the FBI with what I have even if that indicts her grandfather or her in further crimes.

  Do I gather more evidence first before I tip the FBI off? Or do I just try to convince Kinsley to get as far away from here as possible?

  Right now, all I have to think about is that she is safe.

  I hold her tighter against my chest.

  “I have to know the truth,” she says suddenly. She doesn’t move from my chest.

  “You will. But let me or the FBI investigate. Don’t go searching for information on your own. It’s too dangerous. Promise me?”

  “I’m not talking about investigating. I just want to hear the truth from Granddad. He owes me that much.”

  “I don’t think he will tell you anything if he hasn’t even admitted to the money laundering and fraud.”

  “Maybe, but I need to hear whatever he’ll tell me. He needs to explain why. It’s the only way I’ll be able to move on from them.”

  She yawns, and I hold her tighter. We don’t talk for a long time. I just lie here and listen to her breaths until it’s steady. Then, I pick her up and carry her to my bed. I wrap my arms around her, and I promise her that I will never let her go.

  I wake up in Killian’s arms, feeling more exhausted than when I went to sleep. Finding out that there are worse things
my family has done took all of my remaining energy away. And listening to Killian lie to me again last night almost destroyed me. I knew he was lying.

  Everything about him changes when he lies. His speech gets faster, and his eyes dart away from me as he lies. And he was lying last night. I just don’t know about what part or why he would lie.

  I want to go talk to Granddad today. I need to know what the hell is going on, and I need to hear it from him. Then, I can decide what I’m going to do with my life. All I know is that I want it to involve Killian, but every time I begin to trust him, he lies to me.

  I roll over and look at Killian, who is snoring next to me. He’s still asleep. But I can’t stay in bed any longer. I’m restless and hungry. So, I get out of bed, and that’s when I realize I’m still wearing my dress from last night. I go into his now familiar closet and find a pair of his shorts and a T-shirt. I slip them both on and then head to the kitchen.

  I walk over to the small fridge and open the door. There’s the same food as last time. My stomach growls, and my head hurts a little from the alcohol I drank last night. It’s not going to be fixed by gross salmon and yogurt. I remember we passed a doughnut shop about two blocks from here. I grab my phone and then realize it’s still dead. I consider writing Killian a note to let him know where I’m going, but I can still hear him snoring in the bedroom and don’t think he will wake up before I get back.

  I slip on a pair of his tennis shoes, grab my purse, and head out the door. In the hot Las Vegas heat, I begin the two-block walk in shoes and clothes that are too big. I’m sweating a lot after I make my way to the doughnut shop, which just makes me wonder more about why the hell I’m living in one of the hottest places in the country. And it’s not even for a good reason, like a beach.

  I make it into the doughnut shop as my stomach begins to growl, which is probably why I order a dozen doughnuts instead of just three or four, like I should. I eat one of the glazed doughnuts as I carry the large box back to Killian’s apartment. I open the door and—

  “Where the hell have you been?” Killian asks when I walk inside.

  I hold up the box of doughnuts, and he takes a deep breath, but it’s obvious from his face that he was worried.

  “You promised me that you wouldn’t go anywhere without me or security. That includes going to get breakfast that will give you diabetes in five years.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  I realize now that he wasn’t lying about fearing for my safety. Whatever is going on, he is scared. I walk over to the kitchen counter and place the box of doughnuts on it. I pull out a chocolate-covered doughnut with sprinkles and bring it to him.

  “Peace offering,” I say.

  He reluctantly takes the doughnut from me and takes a bite. His eyes roll back in his head a little as he eats it, which makes me smile. I walk back, take out an apple fritter, and begin to eat it. I take a seat on the couch, and Killian sits next to me, continuing to eat his doughnut. I wonder, if we dated for real and didn’t have to worry about my family’s criminal activities, if this is what every morning would be like. Contently snuggling on the couch while eating fattening doughnuts before heading back to the bedroom. I smile. I could imagine at least every Saturday starting that way. But that might never happen.

  “I still want to go speak with Granddad today.”

  Killian frowns but nods. “I agree. That is probably where we should start before we decide if we should go to the FBI with the info I have.”

  “I thought you were the FBI?”

  He smiles. “I am. I just haven’t reported the evidence to them yet because I don’t trust them to keep you safe.”

  I take the last bite of my doughnut and then get up to get another. “We will go after we finish breakfast.”

  Killian parks the car in my family’s driveway and turns the ignition off. He climbs out, but I stay frozen in my seat. I can’t move. If I go in there and talk to Granddad, I don’t know how I will handle it. I don’t know how I’ll be able to control myself. I watch as Killian begins to walk toward my house and then freezes when he realizes I’m not with him.

  He turns and patiently walks back to my side of the car. He opens the door and squats in front of me so that we are eye-to-eye. “You okay?”

  “No.”

  He nods. “Just say the word, and I will get back in the car and drive you anywhere you want to go. You don’t have to face your Granddad, but if you do want to face him, you don’t have to do it alone.”

  I gently blow air out through my pursed lips. “I can do this.”

  He smiles. “Yes, you can, but you don’t have to.”

  He holds his hand out to me, and I take it. He pulls me into a standing position.

  We walk slowly and deliberately to my house that is full of lies. On the outside, it looks beautiful with its expansive large doors and windows covering the front. Not to mention, there are beautiful views out back, but I would trade it all right now if I could. I’d trade my privileged life, every drop of money, every piece of designer clothes, and every sports car. I would trade it all away for a family that loved me. For a family that earned their money honestly, but I guess that’s easy for me to say when I grew up with all of this.

  We get to the door, and I push it open and walk into my family’s house. A house I was told I would someday inherit. Now, I don’t care though. Now, I just want to sell everything that had anything to do with my family.

  “I’m going to go shower and change quickly.”

  Killian steps toward me with a gleam in his eyes. “Want any help?”

  I smile and softly kiss him on the lips. “No. If you come with me, we’ll spend the day in my room instead of talking to my grandfather.”

  He grins. “And what’s wrong with that?”

  I just shake my head. “Make yourself comfortable in the living room. Or grab a cup of coffee from the kitchen and sit out on the terrace. It is really nice out there.”

  He nods. “I will. I have a couple of phone calls to make while you are getting ready.”

  “I won’t be long.”

  I run upstairs to the bedroom I grew up in. I begin stripping off Killian’s clothes even though I love how they feel and smell. They bring me incredible comfort, as I feel closer to Killian when I wear them, but I have to change. I can’t face the world in an oversize T-shirt and shorts. So, I leave them in a pile on the floor, and I walk into the shower.

  I try not to think about the fact that Killian is probably outside right now, talking to the FBI. And, every time he does, I have no idea how I feel. I feel horrible that he is discussing ways to send my grandfather to jail for the rest of his life while I also feel happy that he will be brought to justice for the lives he hurt.

  I let the cold water washing over me wash away my thoughts about my family. The water slowly begins to warm up. After I let the water warm me, I step out of the shower and dry off. I put on the sexiest underwear I have before I put on jeans and a simple black T-shirt. I towel-dry my hair and don’t bother blow-drying it. I put a hair tie around my wrist in case I need to put my hair up later, and then I run down the stairs to check on Killian before I find Granddad.

  I walk to the kitchen and find Paige standing there, cleaning the countertops.

  “Good morning, Kinsley. Can I get you a cup of coffee?”

  “Yes, please.”

  She pulls a coffee mug out of the cabinet and pours me a cup. “Killian is outside on the terrace,” she says, handing me the cup. “Good pick. He’s hot.”

  I laugh. I should introduce her to Scarlett. They would get along well with their same sense of humor and single-mindness when it comes to guys.

  I pick up the cup of coffee, and that’s when I see which cup Paige chose. It’s the one that says World’s Greatest Dad. I hold the cup up to my lips but hesitate to drink from it, as if it would mean that I believe the words on the outside of the cup. They are the furthest things from the truth. When I finally take a sip, Paige realizes her m
istake.

  “I’m sorry. Let me get you a new cup.”

  She doesn’t know the reason this cup affects me so. She thinks it is because it brings up painful memories of missing my father, and it does, but it also brings up all the hatred I have for him as well.

  “It’s okay.” I take the cup and turn to go find Killian on the terrace.

  He isn’t sitting in the chair, relaxing and enjoying the view and gorgeous weather out here, like I expected. Instead, he is pacing with his phone to his ear.

  “I understand, sir,” he says before ending the call.

  I smile at him when he faces me, but he isn’t smiling. I walk over and softly kiss him on the lips, but he doesn’t kiss me back.

  “What is it?”

  “Is your grandfather here?” he asks slowly, carefully looking at me, like I know something I’m not telling him.

  “I think so. I assume he’s in his bedroom. He’s still too weak to do much walking by myself.”

  Killian brushes past me, and I follow after him.

  “What is it?” I ask again.

  But he doesn’t answer. He just keeps walking. He opens the door to the kitchen where Paige is still cleaning. She smiles at us, but it falters when she sees the look of anguish on my face at not knowing what the hell is happening.

  “Is your grandfather’s room this way?” Killian asks, pointing down the hallway toward his bedroom.

  “Yes. You’re scaring me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

  He ignores me and runs down the hallway to Granddad’s bedroom door. He pushes it open without knocking and then runs inside. I follow, but when I walk inside the room, I find Granddad is gone. I take a step back, not expecting him to be gone. I turn slowly to face Killian, making sure to look him in the eyes.

  “They arrested him, didn’t they? He’s in prison.”

  I find my legs are growing weak, and I have to sit down on the bed. I didn’t expect the news that my grandfather is in jail for crimes he committed to hit me so hard, but it does. It just goes to show that I still love my grandfather, despite everything. I still love my family. It just makes me feel weak and makes me hate myself even more.