Sticks and Stones

by Alexie Aaron

  Nicholai looked down at the woman who lay beside her babies on a patchwork blanket and tried to see the warrior inside her. The domestic bliss was incongruent with the subtle intimidating bluebell-dropping creature he had dealt with the day before.

  “I thought I was free to call this my home too,” Nicholai said.

  “You are. But you have a bad habit of grabbing me and taking off without my permission. I know it’s instinctual, but it is rather alarming.”

  Nicholai sat down in Nanny’s rocker and sighed.

  Nanny, who heard him arrive on the baby monitor, stood in the doorway. “He’s not going to get away with that nonsense on my watch.”

  Mia looked over at him smugly.

  “May I speak with you privately?” Nicholai said between his teeth.

  Mia knew the longer she put off this conversation the harder it was going to be. “Nanny, could you watch the girls?”

  “Yes, Mia.”

  “Varden had a very bad night. He’ll probably sleep in. It’s Sunday, so no school,” Mia said, more for Nicholai’s benefit than Nanny’s.

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” Nicholai said.

  “There was a misunderstanding. I reassured him that he may have acted rashly, but that I wasn’t upset with him. He’s not even three. He’s going to make mistakes. We all do.”

  “I think Brian told him something he shouldn’t have,” Nanny said, picking up Maeve.

  “My sons are very much like their father; they can’t keep secrets. Varden was fine when we tucked him in again. Please let me know if he is still upset,” Mia requested.

  “I will. Now go and get this old goat out of my nursery. He’s tracked in half the outdoors,” Nanny scolded.

  Nicholai stood up. “Get your coat. There is a chill in the air. I’ll be over at the aerie,” he said and left.

  Nanny looked at Mia. “What you do now will follow you the rest of your life.”

  Mia’s eyes were filled with tears. Nanny set Maeve down beside her sister and took Mia in her arms.

  “I know he hurt you. He’s hurting too. Try to understand, he’s stuck between his obligations and his love for you.” She released Mia. She dried her tears as if Mia were a small child.

  “I know he doesn’t love me, Nanny,” Mia said. “I better go and get this over with.”

  Nanny waited until Mia had left the floor before she gathered up the girls and sat in the rocker. “It’s a very difficult thing when your hero’s armor starts to tarnish.”

  Genevieve looked up at her and seemed to understand. Maeve was distracted, filling her diaper. “Pew.”

  Mia had started to trudge up the hill when Nicholai swooped down and took her. He held her so tight that it would have been to Mia’s and his peril if she fought him. She wasn’t yet used to the wings she had been reunited with. She wouldn’t be able to outfly him. She expected for Nicholai to land in the dip, but the sight of Lake Michigan below her canceled that. Was he taking her to his home? But when he stayed away from the coast of Michigan, she knew she wasn’t welcome anymore into his home. Instead, they landed on the uncharted isle in the GSD where she and Victor had trained so hard and where Mia had insisted Nicholai practice the Death Spiral with her.

  He released her. Mia stumbled forward but regained her footing in the sand dune. She turned around. “Why have you brought me here?” she demanded.

  “I wanted an uninterrupted conversation. No bluebells.”

  “Ah for cripes’sake,” Mia said. “I got your note.”

  “You could have given me the courtesy of letting me explain.”

  “I was called to China to heal Michael.”

  “I can’t believe that the angels still have your allegiance. Where were they when the earth was in jeopardy?”

  Mia looked at Nicholai. “Believe me, it took some forgiving for me to be able to deal with them again. I owed it to Altair who stood alone representing his race in the battle, or had you forgotten?”

  “I have not. Nor forgotten that they almost killed you when they left.”

  “Yes. But I assure you that the pain was not greater than what I’m feeling right now facing you.”

  “I shouldn’t have called you a child. I’m sorry.”

  “I don’t understand why you were even upset with me. It’s not like you to jump to the wrong conclusions. Whose puppet have you become?”

  “Mia!” Nicholai roared. “You will not speak to me with disrespect.”

  “I will talk to you any way I want. You’re not the boss of me anymore. I have a slip of paper to prove it.” Mia took off her coat, ripped the back of her shirt, and extended her wings. She didn’t, however, pull a sword.

  “My god, what did they do to you?”

  “They returned my original wings to me. A reward for risking myself to save Michael. He was dying. It took everything I had to save him.”

  “Why do you sacrifice yourself this way?” Nicholai asked.

  “It’s who I am. I went into that school to save the children inside. After, Victor reminded me that my children needed me, so I left the apprehension of the gunman to law enforcement. I could have taken out the shooter, but I would have finished the Martins’ reputation in a town we are starting to love. I listened to Victor, not because he was my superior but because he made sense. This is what the primal genes have given me. They give me the calmness to listen. And that’s what I’ll do now. I’m going to listen to you, Nicholai.”

  “First, tell me why you sterilized yourself.”

  “I’m tired of explaining it. Just understand, I’m finished with bearing children. Ted and I have our biological family. My choice.”

  “Soren’s pressure for you to declare a mate was too much for you, wasn’t it?”

  “Yes. And very destructive to one’s current marriage.”

  “I understand,” Nicholai said. “But I fear your years beyond Ted will be lonely ones.”

  “If I live beyond Ted, then I’ll be able to choose my life. I won’t be bound to someone who just wants to use my body to produce super birdmen. Or fear that Ted’s lifespan will be reduced because of someone’s impatience to see his vision fulfilled.”

  A realization washed over Nicholai. He put the pieces together quickly.

  “I only ever considered one birdman to be a possible future mate, and he’s sterile,” Mia confessed.

  “Mia, I told you. I have been very clear and open about why I will never take you as a mate. I appreciate your adoration, but it has to stop.”

  “I know. You must have loved your wife as much as I love Ted. I wouldn’t be feeling all of this if my soul was my own. My soul died when I was an infant. My mother killed me, Nicholai. Azrael gave me Euthymia’s soul. He never thought I’d ever meet you, or Angelo for that matter.”

  “As I told you, your soul doesn’t control who you are. You can use the soul memories for battle, but you know better than most that you control your own fate.”

  “I used to think that, but then I saw my face on an ancient primal demon mural, prophesizing me taking them away. Which I did before the mural surfaced.”

  “Who knows about this?” Nicholai asked.

  “Ted of course. Tom Braverman found it and told Murphy to destroy it.”

  “He’s a smart man.”

  “Yes. It took him a while, but he’s got my back.” Mia withdrew her wings, pulled on her coat, and sat down in the sand. “Why did you say I turned your warriors into lapdogs?”

  “Because you have.”

  “Not intentionally. I have never used it to my advantage.”

  “Angelo.”

  “I was able to shut that door. He wants sons.”

  “You gave him Brian.”

  “Shared. Brian is mine and Ted’s son. That brain of his needs Ted’s mentoring. Angelo was just keeping a promise he made to Brian.”

  “You now have two children in different flocks.”

  “I’d like
to take Varden out of your flock, but I realize that would be destructive to his reincarnated soul, and royally piss Victor off.”

  “Your other lapdog.”

  “No way. I did nothing to encourage him. This is a fiction that Soren supports. But since I’m suspended, I’ll be looking into my options of either changing flocks or retiring my birdman warrior status permanently.”

  Nicholai grabbed Mia and lifted her off the sand. “Stop being such a spoiled brat!” he yelled and tossed her. Mia hit the dune hard. She ripped off her coat and extended her wings. This time, she drew a sword. Not an angel sword, she would never do that to Nicholai.

  “Mia, stop!”

  “You have no right to toss me like a piece of garbage. My son is devastated because he thinks he caused my suspension. That brave little boy who would not be alive if not for Sariel’s good counsel. I did nothing wrong. I was prepared and moved in to save the other children. I do not need to be made an example of. I’m sick and tired of your brutality and patriarchy. I’m not some dumb kid who needs to be beat down in order to train. Stand down, Nicholai, I don’t want to hurt you. Walk away. Take with you that you’ve broken my heart. You have your win.”

  “I had no intention of hurting you. I just wanted you to listen to me. I want to explain, it wasn’t my idea to suspend you. I argued against it, but Soren is resolute. Now that I know you snuck out and got yourself permanently sterilized, I can see how he feels betrayed.”

  “Snuck out. I stopped my community from being destroyed by The Balance. Get your facts straight. The trade-off for taking on the genes was a win-win for me. You have no idea how much better I feel. The biggest joy of all is having no more Idra pretending she cares about me while sizing me up to see if I can go into permanent baby production for your race. I can heal myself, and for what I can’t do, I will seek out those beings who can. I won’t hurt Victor and convince Varden to reject Warrior Flock. But I won’t be returning.”

  “I’ll be removing Enos then.”

  “I’m sorry you are. He had real potential.”

  “Nanny will be recalled.”

  Mia frowned. “I thought she was here because she wanted to be.”

  “No, you stupid little girl. All the protection comes through me by the grace of Soren.” Nicholai instantly regretted his harsh words. He saw Mia’s hand go to her heart. He wanted to wake her up, not destroy her.

  “Enos wants to be just like you,” Mia said softly. “I told him there was no better person to emulate. I can’t understand how I could have been more wrong?”

  Mia tucked in her sword, stored her coat, and took off. She shot up to the top of the world, wondering if her shadow would follow her there. She didn’t know how long he had been following her. It hurt to think he had witnessed Nicholai delivering the crushing hard truths to her.

  “Are you going to be alright?” Sariel asked.

  “Yes, no, I really don’t know. Did I forget? Was this the day I was to show you how to recharge?”

  “No. I saw the two of you over Chicago. To me, it didn’t look like you were enjoying be carried like a sheep to slaughter.”

  “I loved him,” Mia admitted. “How foolish my heart is at times.”

  “I know, but you also love me and Michael, which proves you have no taste in paranormal beings.”

  Mia turned and smiled a weak smile. “I’m not sure how these wings are going to react to the light, but there is no better time. The star is in the right position. Come with me, Sariel. I will teach you how to properly pull Blue Star energy.”

  “If only to keep your mind off things.”

  “Sariel, Nyx may tell you things. Remember, just as we look at the stars and know we’re looking in the past, Nyx looks at the earth and sees the future. The future is fluid.” Mia moved away from the earth with Sariel at her side. “I’ll show you and watch to make sure it doesn’t reject you.”

  Mia reached her right hand in the direction of the Blue Star. The star flashed, and a steady beam appeared and flowed into her body. When she had enough, she said, “Reach out and silently ask. Otherwise, the dragons will tease you for talking to yourself.”

  Sariel did, and the star responded.

  “Welcome, Sariel.”

  “Am I forsaking my God?” he asked.

  “Your god is the Universe; the Universe is my god. I am only a conduit. Do not hurt my daughter again. She is fragile and will crumble soon. All have deserted her; all have used her, save one.”

  “I have not been a good friend to Mia. I will not let that happen again,” Sariel vowed.

  “This pleases me.”

  Power filled Sariel.

  They were silent on the way back. Sariel watched as Mia entered the house. He landed and walked over to the office and presented himself in his earthly form. Jake was confused who the guy was but managed to alert Ted that he had a visitor.

  Ted walked into the office. “I was just making some progress on your… You look different.”

  “Earthly persona?”

  “Your battle scars are gone.”

  “Mia didn’t say anything. Her mind must have been on something else.”

  “Probably the hot archangel escorting her,” Ted said. “I just get rid of the competition and now you show up.”

  “You already heard about Nicholai leaving?”

  “Nicholai arrived a little while ago. He asked if I had seen Mia. I was under the misunderstanding that she was with him discussing her suspension. He said Mia took off before they could come to a resolution. When he left here, he took Enos with him. Enos was not pleased. Nanny told Nicholai to take a hike. She will not leave Mia until she feels Mia is ready.”

  “Ready for what?”

  “Juggling babies. It’s a new sport around here. I’m up to four.”

  Sariel laughed.

  “I have made some headway on the demon barbs.”

  “Already?”

  “Mia said it was important. Mia’s a tough boss.”

  Mia was surprised to find Nanny with the young children. They were all singing a song. Varden ran over and hugged her. “Nanny has taught us a new song.”

  “Aren’t you lucky. I love hearing Nanny sing.”

  “Well, then come in. You get to sit on my lap,” Nanny said.

  “But Mom’s too big,” Brian protested, getting off.

  “Not for my lap,” Nanny insisted.

  Mia climbed up and let the elder birdwoman rock her. She knew Nanny was reading her, but Mia was too tired to care.

  Lazar walked in. “Boys, Murphy just told me he found a deposit of clay. He said, if we treat it right, we can sculpt with it.”

  “What’s sculpting?” Varden asked Brian.

  “It’s when you make a figure of something, sometimes nothing, out of a lump of clay. You let it dry, and it becomes an object of art.”

  Varden was still confused but sensed that his mother needed some alone time with Nanny.

  Mia waited until she heard the elevator before she asked, “Are you leaving me too?”

  “No, dear, I’m staying. I sent Nicholai off with a flea in his ear. Enos is so upset. He may be back if Victor says he can. Enos has become rather attached to you. He stood his ground with Nicholai. Nicholai then ordered him to leave. Enos knows you don’t go against a commander’s orders.”

  “Everyone leaves me.”

  “I know. But they’ll come back.”

  “Nicholai broke my heart. He was so…”

  “Cruel. It’s the military man in him. It’s also the loss of his wife. Mia, he regrets his words already.”

  “But still, he was going to take everyone I love away from me.”

  “Yours wasn’t the only heart broken today. You quit on him.”

  “I did.”

  “Mia, he was an old man when he was asked to train you. He regained his vitality and reentered the service of the birdmen. Many thought he was too old, but he changed after
he met you. I think he feels guilty that, maybe for a second or two, he thought about you in maybe not a fatherly way.”

  “No. It was all in my twelve-year-old head. I should be ashamed of myself. A crush at my age. Why does it hurt so much?”

  “Remember, as good as love feels, the opposite is true when it leaves.”

  “Then Ted’s leaving will kill me.”

  “It will be hard, but you’ll make it, Mia. You’ll have children and maybe grandchildren by then to care for. Ted isn’t leaving you alone. He will leave you with family. Just as you know that, if you’re killed, you have left him with sons and daughters. He will also survive.”

  “You’re so smart. I can’t hate Nicholai because he brought me you.”

  Nanny let a tear drop. “Remember, Mia, I consider you a gift from Nicholai too. We will work on forgiving the old goat, but maybe not today.”

  Ted caught Sariel up on where he was with the project and then offered the man a beer. The two sat with their feet up on the conference room table. Ted turned to Sariel and asked, “Why return Mia’s original wings?”

  “Rumor has it that it was a reward for her valor and service. I think Michael senses Mia is turning her back on the Brotherhood, and he wants to regain her trust. From what I overheard when I was shadowing Mia, Nicholai did not change Mia’s mind.”

  “How bad was the conversation with Nicholai?”

  “He conveyed his disappointment, Soren’s anger, and when Mia stood up for herself, Nicholai was brutal and cruel. His words did the most damage. Then he told her he was taking away Enos and Nanny. I think that was crushing. Mia thought they were here because they wanted to be, not that they were ordered to.”

  “Nanny didn’t leave. I think Enos is coming back. He is going to consult with Victor about his options,” Ted told Sariel. “He came to me and asked if he had to leave because I wanted him gone? I told him that we considered him part of the family and he was welcome back anytime. I also told him Mia was going to be heartbroken to learn that he had to leave. He asked me to explain to her that it wasn’t his idea.” Ted put his hand through his hair. “Can we demand that Enos be returned?”