Sticks and Stones

by Alexie Aaron

  “She called my grandma a whore.”

  “And…”

  Mia opened her lunch bag, pulled out a square package, and a banana she was going to eat at snack time for energy. Mia patted the hood of the car she was sitting on. “Sit down. Ted said I agreed to show you how to put a condom on. I don’t remember this, but I don’t listen sometimes when he’s blathering on and on. The last thing you need is a STD, so I had to cool down your virus provider until I completed my task.”

  Cid groaned. “Mia, I know how to…”

  Mia raised her hand to stop him from talking. “First you…”

  Cid held the banana. By the time Mia struggled with the condom, both were laughing hysterically.

  “No wonder you have so many kids, Uncle Teddy,” Audrey said. “That girl does not know how to put a condom on.”

  “Who wants to vote Mia off the island?” Ted asked.

  All but Burt raised his hand.

  “Hah! I know because you weren’t made fun of, is the only reason you’re on Mia’s side,” Audrey observed.

  “No. She’s a little liar. She said today she couldn’t act. But damn, if she isn’t entertaining. I think you should let her stay on the island, Uncle Teddy, just to see what she’ll do next.”

  Ted smiled.

  “Did she really say virus provider?” Audrey asked.

  “Yes, Grandma,” Ted said and received a slap on top of his head.

  Cid walked into the room. “Burt, Mia just cockblocked me.”

  “We saw, we heard, and were amused. Now get to work, here come the teenagers.”

  Mia put on her skates and warmed up, oblivious to the heads turned as Gates walked in on Mike’s arm. She was dressed like the Hollywood version of a roller derby skater. Gates had her hair in pigtails and wore a two-color leather jacket and a torn T-shirt. She wore barely legal, matching leather shorts along with fishnets and high-heeled sneakers. She carried a duffle with her skates and pads inside.

  Burt looked at the video feed. “Who the hell told her to come in looking like that?”

  “I think you’re looking at him,” Ted said. “You said you wanted them to attract attention. Mike has taken it to an all new extreme.”

  “But she looks exactly like Harley Quinn,” Cid said. “These women are serious about their skating. The Crystal Creepers are into the sport, not the spectacle.”

  “Hey, they already figured out she was a ringer,” Burt said. “I just didn’t want them to go over-the-top. I hope this spectacle doesn’t amp up the angst.”

  “Hey, Bull Ette. Look who just came out of the closet,” Elle Logical said.

  “I didn’t know it was a costume ball,” Mia managed. “Who’s the guy?”

  “I think he’s from cable… Some ghost-hunting show. High Gate’s a stunt woman according to Highway Romper.”

  “Could be good publicity,” Mia said, smoothing her PEEPs shirt before sitting down on the bottom bleacher to retie her skate.

  Bakers Dosing sat down next to her. “What the fuck? Why are you on the jammer list?”

  “I didn’t know I was,” Mia said honestly. “I’m just a girl on skates, looking at a girl on skates, wondering why the hell you’re in my face?”

  Elle Logical laughed. “Get lost, Dosing. You wouldn’t be here if Eliza Breeze hadn’t wiped out. Leave the freshies unmolested.”

  “Fine,” the teen said and skated off.

  “Sorry about that. It’s a little tense since we started having all these pranks pulled. I mean, I’m all for putting a Mentos in someone’s diet coke, but tossing shit on the track is wrong.”

  “I’m with you there,” Mia commiserated.

  Rolling Thunder blew her whistle. The freshies formed up on the line. She had them count to four over and over until the line was finished. “Ones form up over at the east end. Twos, the center. Threes and fours, on the track.”

  Mia headed for the track and blocking practice with the veterans.

  Chapter Thirty-six

  Murphy tailed Bakers Dosing around. She really didn’t seem to be up to anything but trying to secure her spot on the team by harassing the freshies.

  Mike watched as a group of four referee-shirt-wearing skaters moved from group to group explaining the rules, what a foul was, and the reasoning behind it. He spotted Mia who was in thick with a couple of the veteran players. Initially, Gates had garnered a lot of attention, but once they got formed up, she was all but forgotten. She was a freshie like the others. The groups moved in four person pods learning moves.

  Mike felt a vibration in the bleachers and saw Rolling Thunder headed his way. She sat down. “You want to tell me why you’re here?”

  “Burt thought it would be a good idea to draw attention away from Mia/Bull Ette so she could investigate without being found out.”

  “Ah, okay. Otherwise, I would warn you that the costume Gates is wearing isn’t appreciated here. Sure, we have our costume nights, but overall, we’re a serious team. These women work hard all day and come to roller derby to, yes, blow off some steam but also build some self-esteem, and your girlfriend isn’t helping.”

  “I hear you. Maybe I should have her call it a day.”

  “No, let her stay. We could use the practice. I read up on her, and Gates O’Brien is a stunt woman. Let’s see how she manages to hold back our jammers.”

  Rolling Thunder left and brought her veterans together into a huddle. “We’re going to test out a few blockers. Elle Logical, form up any jammers you think are Crystal Creeper worthy. Psych Clone, put High Gate and a few of our blockers together. We’re going to see how some of the freshies handle a live jam.” Rolling Thunder skated over to the refs and told them basically what she had planned.

  Mia skated around the exterior of the track, warming up. She scanned the building as she moved, looking for any hazards. She knew that Burt had zeroed in on Bakers Dosing, but Highway Romper could also be in the running, as well as a few of the younger stressed-out women. These were women holding down two jobs and raising a family. Would this kind of stress be enough to cause this poltergeist virus to form? If Burt was right, then she feared that more and more women would be victims of this stress virus.

  Elle Logical waved Mia over. She talked her through where she should stand and when she should make a move. She was up against Bakers Dosing on the veteran’s team. The ref started the jam. Mia moved quickly around the other team’s pivot and hit Gates with her shoulder, where she knew she had a problem, and blew past her. Mia became the lead jammer. She raced around with Dosing at her heels. Mia approached the group again and passed four players and then the jam was whistled dead.

  Elle Logical patted Mia on the back and sent her to the bench. She watched the next jammer have her turn. Dosing rolled up and extended her hand. Mia shook it.

  “Great moves.”

  “Luck. I have a lot to learn. Speaking of learning, what school do you go to?” Mia asked.

  “I’m homeschooled.”

  “Ah. It’s nice you have an option these days.”

  “There wasn’t an option. I was bullied into a nervous breakdown. That short ref over there, who’s my mother, thought this would be a good way to blow off some steam.”

  “Is it?”

  “In the junior league it is. Here it’s all serious business. What do you do?”

  “Stay-at-home mom, part time investigator, and full-time neurotic.”

  Bakers Dosing laughed. She stopped, her face paled. “Look!”

  Mia saw the rain of stones move across the rink. She stood over Dosing, protecting her with her body. Four skaters went down.

  “Are you okay?” Mia asked.

  “Yes.”

  Mia skated around the stones to the fallen and triaged the injured women. Fortunately, it was only bumps and bruises. Cid ran out and helped Mia move some of the stunned skaters off the track. The refs looked up, expecting to see some kind of tarp that could have held
the stones.

  The toilets flushed and the lights turned off and on. A scream of abject terror moved through the building. Little explosions of gear happened, herding the women into a circle in the center of the track.

  “Cid, move them out of the center!” Mia shouted, pointing up.

  Above the center, the metal ceiling rivets were popping.

  “Come on,” she called as she hauled skater after skater to her feet. “Get out of the building!”

  Mike was descending the bleachers when they slammed shut, trapping his leg. Mia heard a bone break and Mike scream. He was hanging at an awkward angle. She heard Burt behind her. “The place is clear of civilians.”

  Mia ripped the back of her shirt, formed wings, and shot over to Mike. She hovered, carefully holding him as Burt opened the bleachers. Mike fell into Mia’s arms. She dropped down and carried him to the edge of the room and worked on his leg, holding one wing up to protect him as another shower of stones fell. Cid slid under her wing and handed her the first aid gear.

  “I feel bad I scared off Madam Recovery,” Mia said as she scanned Mike’s injury. “Mikey, this is going to hurt. Feel free to piss your pants.” Mia pulled the leg down and back into place. She started the leg healing as Cid eased it into the portable cast. “Hey, you get to visit Dr. Walters. Where’s Gates?” Mia asked.

  “I saw her head out carrying one of the girls,” Mike said.

  The tin of the ceiling curled upwards. Water flowed out of the women’s locker room. Mia and Cid lifted Mike up onto a platform that Burt put together from two benches. They carried Mike under the overhang of the announcer’s second-story platform.

  “I sure hope this is the climax,” Mia said. “I’m not sure how much more this building can take.”

  The loose chairs and gear moved into the center of the gym and began building a tower, and then a large boulder from the landscaping outside rolled in and knocked down the creation.

  The noise was deafening.

  Mia had only just got her wings tucked in when three courageous EMTs rolled a stretcher in, secured Mike to it, and they moved quickly out.

  “Where’s Murphy?” Mia worried.

  Another scream moved through the building. This time, the roofing tin started falling in. Mia and Cid edged their way along the wall and only just got out from under the announcer’s booth before it fell to the floor.

  Burt and Ted were muscling out the computers and equipment. Cid picked up a camera and stood at the open door and filmed as the tin tiles were now setting themselves up as dominos. The large stone rolled around the track and then shot off into the first tin, and they fell crashing to the floor. Mia stood with her wing over Cid as he filmed the bleachers opening and closing.

  The banshee scream made its rounds, and Murphy appeared in front of Mia, almost giving her a heart attack.

  “Bloody hell, Murph,” Mia said. “Seen anything worth mentioning,” she said wryly.

  “Locusts coming.”

  “You mean, like grasshoppers?”

  “Yup.”

  The bugs rained down. They sat on the floor momentarily stunned before they swarmed and left via the hole in the roof.

  “Any idea of how to shut this thing down?” Mia asked.

  Murphy hunched his shoulders and settled himself beside Cid under Mia’s protective wing.

  “Ted, if you can hear me now, have Rolling Thunder send all the girls home. If they don’t have rides, get them rides. Just get them off the property. Burt, you may want to clock each of the women’s exits.”

  “Heads up, first responders on their way in,” Ted said.

  Mia withdrew her wing. Five seconds later, all the commotion stopped.

  “Who left?” she asked, skating out past the approaching firemen.

  “Both teens left together,” Burt said. “They were driven by Psych Clone.”

  Mia raised her hands. “I’d split all of them up. There’s not going to be any skating here in a long while. I think, basically, the poltergeist won this one.”

  Rolling Thunder was on the phone when they walked back in, after the firemen cleared the place, to gather anything they could salvage. Four of the six cameras were still functioning. Mia found Gate’s leather coat and Mike’s shoe. Her shoes were long gone. She kept her skates on and moved carefully around the debris. At one point, a fireman lost his balance and Mia caught him.

  Ted walked by. “Put the man down. I told you no souvenirs, pumpkin.”

  “But he’s a cute one,” Mia protested, setting the man on his feet again.

  The fireman blushed.

  “If you bring him home, then Cid has to leave.”

  “Um, how’s your cooking?” she asked the fireman.

  “Firehouse chili and baked beans are my specialty,” he said.

  “Mia…”

  “I’m thinking...”

  Ted walked over and pulled Mia away by the back of her shorts. She waved to the fireman as she was rolled out the door.

  ~

  Mia drove home barefoot. She spent the rest of the afternoon sorting through the mess that was their gear. She, Cid, and Ted worked on rescuing as much data as they could while Audrey dragged Burt off to the hospital to check on Mike.

  Brian showed up at the office. “Mom, you have one hour to get dressed and fly me to Angelo’s.”

  “OMG. What an awful parent I am. I forgot. Can you guys excuse me?”

  Ted laughed. “You go, we have this.”

  Mia ran back to the house, up the stairs, trailing clothes through her room, and into the shower.

  Mia didn’t have a lot to choose from. She was going to wear the Taco Bell dress when she noticed that Lazar had the dress from her Porcupine Mountain trip dry-cleaned. She put Brian’s suit coat in her satchel and her sweater and shoes. Mia kissed her daughters and Varden before she and Brian walked up to the third floor. “We’re going to fly straight up until we reach the between. Then we’ll tandem fly until we reach Angelo’s. The wind whips up a bit around the lake, so I’m going to pull you in towards me before we land. Do you have any questions?”

  “Yes, how will I hear you up there?”

  Mia placed her hand on his temple. “Listen here and not through your ears. Testing, one, two, three…”

  “I can hear you.”

  “Good. Let’s go.”

  Mia rose at Brian’s pace, and the two moved towards Chicago. The sun was setting. Its beauty was distracting, but Mia kept talking to Brian, and soon they were in the city.

  Angelo watched them land, and he gave Mia time to adjust her dress and have Brian put on his suitcoat before opening the door. Mia slipped on her shoes and accepted the glass of wine handed to her. She looked at Angelo and smiled. “I love that jacket. The deep blue is so rich.”

  “Thank you, I had it made to match your blue star,” he teased.

  Mia blushed.

  Brian looked at his mother and thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world at that moment. He was very proud to be her son.

  “Brian, would you like a soda or some juice?” Angelo asked.

  “A Coke if you have one.”

  “I do.”

  Mia walked over to the fire and warmed her hands. She turned and looked at Brian. “Are you nervous?”

  “Yes, Mom.”

  “Remember, Angelo is one of the greatest warriors and smartest of all the birdmen. He has many things in common with you. Listen to him, wait until he asks for your response before you start talking, and then be brief. This is not the time for long-winded explanations.”

  “Yes, Mom.”

  Angelo walked back in and handed Brian his drink. They sat down, and Angelo asked about Mia’s day. Mia did her best to outline what had happened and wound it up with, “I really hate poltergeists.”

  “But you did learn something from them,” Angelo said.

  “Yes. I learned a valuable battle technique that I have shared
with Sariel. He has been successful with using this method.”

  “You see, Brian, one never knows when a lesson is going to be learned. It’s our job as hybrid birdmen to keep our eyes open to innovation but also to experiment responsibly. I think you and I need to talk about the latter alone. Mia, if you would excuse us, we gentlemen are going to go into my office. Please enjoy the view, pick up a book, or just rest your eyes while we are gone.”

  Mia nodded. She was nervous for Brian but knew that Ted was right, and Angelo may have the tact needed to get through to the boy. Mia mentally went through her day and filed away the good stuff. She walked out onto the patio. The city was settling in for an autumn evening. The sky was taking on a beautiful midnight blue. Mia felt the draw of the Blue Star as it appeared on the horizon.

  She didn’t hear Angelo open the door or him gently calling her. She was mesmerized. He placed his hands on her shoulders, and she lifted her armor, and he read her. All her disappointments, all her accomplishments, and all her love swirled around him. He only just managed to pull his hands away.

  Mia turned. “I take it you’ll keep all that to yourself. I don’t need a lecture from Father Santos on top of everything else.”

  “You can trust me. Dinner is waiting. If you’re good and finish your meal, I’m going to show you something amazing.”

  Mia giggled. “I have never had a problem finishing one of your meals.”

  Angelo turned and escorted Mia inside.

  After the meal, Brian went to Angelo’s guestroom to watch a video Angelo had rented for him. Angelo wrapped Mia in one of his sweaters and took her out on the patio. He climbed up on his observation deck and pulled Mia up too. He sat down and moved his fingers and a tiny blue ball of light appeared.

  “Oh my, you can do it. I didn’t know. I can show you how to apport through the half-veil now.” Mia jumped up. Angelo caught her and pulled her down. “Watch.”

  The blue light became two lights and then rose. “Lay back, put your head next to mine,” he said. “Watch the lights.”