by Keeland, Vi
Max: From the shoot today. I think my mutts might need their own agent.
I waited a few minutes and watched the text go from delivered to read. I got more excited than I’d been in the last forty-eight hours when I saw the dots start jumping around. But disappointment set in when her response chimed.
A smiley face.
Nothing more.
Grumbling, I tossed my phone into the center console and started my drive to Boston.
• • •
“What’s going on, Altar Boy?” My brother Tate handed me a beer and held his out to clink.
I was standing on his back porch at the railing, looking out at…the lawn, I guess. “Not much. You?”
“Nursing a bit of a hangover,” he said.
“On a Tuesday?”
“I had a few drinks while Cass was out last night. She went to book club. By the way, I’m thinking of starting one of those things.”
“You? Read?”
“She leaves with two bottles of wine and a book and comes back drunk. Book club is just code for the married woman’s girls’ night out.” He sipped his beer. “I’m thinking my guys’ book club will read historical fiction—you know, 1950s Playboy magazines that have articles on how to get your woman to give you head after you’re married—and our meetings will be at the bar.”
I chuckled. “Let me know how that goes over with Cass.”
Tate leaned over the railing. “So what’s bugging you?”
“Who says something is bugging me?”
“Well, one, I got you in a headlock in less than thirty seconds. That hasn’t happened since you were twelve. Two, at dinner, Cassidy brought up that I’d made an appointment to get snipped, and you didn’t even joke about my balls being cut off a long time ago, and three, you’ve checked your phone forty times in the two hours you’ve been here.” He paused. “Girl problems?”
I sighed and nodded.
“Georgia?”
“Can’t be anyone else, since I haven’t noticed another woman since the day I walked by that bar and saw her smiling.”
“What’s going on?”
I hadn’t filled Tate in on the details of my relationship with Georgia. And I wasn’t usually the kind of guy to talk about problems with women I was dating, but looking back, I think that might’ve been more because I didn’t have any than because I didn’t want to discuss them.
“Long story short, she was engaged. He broke it off and moved to London for a year. Told her he wanted to have an open relationship. I knew that going in. She was upfront about her situation. I figured it was the perfect scenario. I’m moving in a few months, and she wasn’t looking for anything serious because she’s not sure where she stands with her ex. And we burned hot, which in my history usually means it burns out pretty fast.”
“And…it didn’t fizzle out? You’ve fallen for her?”
I nodded and sucked back my beer. “Her ex showed up unannounced the other day. He told her he wanted her back.”
“Shit.” Tate shook his head. “I’m sorry, man. I guess she’s taking him?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. She said she needed some time to think things over.”
“But you told her how you feel about her?”
I shook my head.
“Why the hell not? That’s not like you. You usually go five-hundred miles an hour after the thing you want. We’re all afraid to get in your way because we’ll get run over. What’s the rest of the story you’re not telling me?”
I caught my brother’s eye. “She doesn’t know.”
Tate’s head dropped. “I thought you said you were going to tell her?”
“It just…never seemed like the right time.”
My brother was quiet for a long time. Eventually, he nodded. “And now you’re thinking you should just bow out—walk away because she deserves more than you can promise her.”
I was close with all of my brothers, but Tate knew me best. I nodded.
“Fuck.” He blew out a long breath and shook his head. “I get it, man. I really do. I’d do whatever I needed to not hurt Cass. But you gotta know Georgia deserves the truth. We aren’t kids anymore. What are you going to do? Walk away every time you get into a relationship that means anything to you?” Tate looked at me. When I said nothing, he shook his head. “Jesus, really? You’re shittin’ me. That’s your plan? You can’t be serious.”
He stood. “You know what? I’m not going to lecture you because it’s your life. But I seem to remember a guy I looked up to once giving some really good advice to someone else. ‘If you’re not living life the way you want, you’re dying anyway.’”
I shook my head. “Yeah, and look what that got him.”
CHAPTER 22
* * *
Max
Ten years ago
“What the hell?” I handed my brother a red Solo cup. “Do you not like my girlfriend or something?”
“What are you talking about?”
I thumbed over my shoulder. “Teagan just left. She seemed upset. I saw you guys together while I was stuck talking to Coach. It looked like you were arguing.”
It was the BU end-of-the-hockey-season barbeque, and I’d invited both Austin and Teagan. She had to be at the hospital later, but she’d said she could hang out for an hour or two before her shift started. Yet she’d disappeared twenty minutes in, after my brother got done talking to her.
He drank his beer. “We weren’t arguing.”
“Then what were you talking about?”
“What were we talking about?”
I looked around. “Is there an echo in here? Yeah. What was the topic of your conversation?”
Austin looked away and shrugged. “Nothing.”
“Well, your mouths were moving, so I’m pretty sure there were some words spoken.”
My brother shook his head. “I don’t know. I guess we were talking about school.”
“What about it?”
“I don’t remember. And why am I getting the third degree?” My brother raised his arms in the air. “You’re just in a bad mood because you lost your last game this morning.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Try to make this about me. We had a great season. It was just an off game with a lot of guys out hurt at the end of the year. I shook it off. I was actually in a good mood—thought it would be nice to get to hang with my brother, who seems to have avoided me the last six weeks. Which is funny, because six weeks also happens to be the amount of time I’ve been seeing my new girlfriend—you know, the one I just saw him yelling at but he’s trying to pretend never happened.”
Austin looked back and forth between my eyes. “It was nothing, okay?”
“Then why the hell can’t you tell me what nothing was?”
Austin rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know. I guess we also were talking about politics.”
“Politics?”
“Yeah, I’m for universal healthcare, and she’s against it. It lowers the salaries for doctors.”
I searched his face. “Seriously? Why wouldn’t you just say that then?”
“I don’t know. It slipped my mind.”
“It slipped your mind?”
“Yeah. Can you please stop repeating everything I say?”
I searched Austin’s face. Something was weird, but maybe he was just grumpy in general lately and the problem wasn’t with Teagan. “Is something else going on, bro? You seem off.”
“I’m fine. Just a lot of pressure. The dual architecture and architectural engineering program is a lot to handle, especially at the end of the year with finals coming up and projects due.”
I nodded. “Alright. Sorry. It’s beautiful out, the food is free, and the beer is cold. Let’s just have a good time.”
Austin smiled, but I still felt something odd between us. Nevertheless, we managed to move past it and enjoy the afternoon. Later that night, I went home, and Teagan came over after her shift ended
. She liked to shower right away, so she hopped in mine since she’d come directly here. We talked through the open door.
“How was the barbeque?” she asked.
“Good. My brother managed to lighten up. Sorry if he’s been a dick to you lately. He said he’s just stressed.”
“Did he…say about what?”
“Classes.”
Teagan paused. “Oh…okay.”
Again, that weird feeling was back—like something was going on between the two of them. But I knew my brother would never do that to me. That wasn’t a question in my mind. Still…something was there.
I stood in the doorway, listening to the shower water hit the tub. “So…uh, what were you and Austin talking about before you left? It looked like things were getting a little heated.”
“We, um, were talking about sports. You know how us native New Englanders get about our teams.”
“Sports?”
“Yeah... Go Pats.”
What the fuck? I left the bathroom and sat down on my bed. I’d chalked a lot of odd moments up to my imagination, but I wasn’t imagining that these two were full of shit. When Teagan came out of the bathroom, she had a towel wrapped around her. Normally that would be enough to make me forget everything, but not the way I was feeling.
She tilted her head and smiled. “Should I get dressed?”
“Yeah, you should.”
Her face fell. “Oh.”
I said nothing while she gathered her clothes and went back into the bathroom to change. When she came out I stood. “Are you fucking my brother?”
“What? No!”
I looked her square in the eyes. “Then what the hell is going on, Teagan? Because you two were arguing about something. And it wasn’t sports or universal healthcare—like my brother said it was.”
She closed her eyes. “We’re not sleeping together, and we never have. But you need to talk to him about what’s going on.”
“What do you mean, what’s going on? Are you saying you know something I don’t?”
She stared at me.
I moved closer. “Teagan, talk to me.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
She took a deep breath. “Think about it. What’s the one thing I wouldn’t be able to talk to you about?”
“I don’t know. Stuff from work? Medical stuff?”
Teagan just kept staring at me.
I closed my eyes. Fuck. I was such an idiot. The first time they met, she’d thought he looked familiar and later asked if he’d been in the hospital. He’d been a dick to her ever since. The realization kicked me in the stomach. I opened my eyes.
“Is he okay?”
“Talk to your brother, Max.”
• • •
“What the hell?” My brother rubbed his eyes. “Are you drunk? It’s two in the morning.”
I brushed by him and entered his apartment.
“Tell me what’s going on.”
He shook his head. “Not this crap again.”
“I’m not screwing around, Austin. I know something is going on with you, and Teagan won’t tell me, which means it has something to do with your health.” I folded my arms across my chest. “I’m not leaving until I get the truth. So you might as well get it over with and start talking.”
My brother’s face changed to something resigned. “Take a seat.”
He walked over to the cabinet and took out a bottle of vodka and two shot glasses. Filling them both, he held his up to me before sucking it back. I followed his lead. Austin poured a second, but only filled his glass this time.
“I had back pain for a while. I figured I’d pulled something. But it didn’t get better. Then I started to have trouble running. I’d get winded in half a block when I used to be able to run ten miles without breaking a sweat. One night, I was getting a bottle of water from the fridge, and the next thing I knew I was waking up on the floor. I’d passed out. So I went to the ER.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
“You were away for a hockey game. That’s the night I met Teagan. I didn’t remember her at first. She hadn’t said much, just shadowed the doctor as he went from patient to patient. It wasn’t until I saw her in scrubs that I remembered. I guess seeing her in context jogged my memory.”
“Okay…but what happened at the hospital?”
“They ran some tests, took X-rays, and did an ultrasound. When they came back, the doctor told me I had an abdominal aortic aneurysm.”
My eyes widened. “Like Dad?”
Austin nodded. He lifted the shot glass from the table and knocked the second one back.
I dragged a hand through my hair. “What can they do for it?”
“They can take it out surgically. But there’s always the risk of it rupturing during the procedure.”
Which was exactly what had happened to our father, and he’d died on the table. This time, I poured the shots. After we each drank another, I shook my head.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you’re going to tell me I’m young and healthy, so my chances are better than Dad’s were, so I should just have the surgery to reduce the risk of it rupturing itself.”
“Is that what the doctor recommends?”
Austin nodded. “He said if I don’t get it taken care of soon, walking will probably become difficult. I’m already winded just going from my car to class. I feel like an eighty-year-old man.”
“Well, it doesn’t sound like you have much choice then. If you’re not living life the way you want, you’re dying anyway.”
“I’m fucking scared, Max.”
“Of course you’re scared. But you gotta talk about it if you’re going to get past that. If you don’t deal with it, you’re just giving your fears more power. You can’t let shit fester.”
My brother frowned. “I don’t want to fucking die.”
“You’re not going to die. Have you gotten a second opinion yet?”
He shook his head.
“Alright. That’s where we start. Does Mom know?”
“No. And you’re not telling her either. She’s barely over losing Dad.”
“So, what? You just plan on having the surgery and not telling anyone? In that case, you’ll definitely die, even if the surgery is a success. Because Tate will kill you.”
Austin smiled sadly. “Not yet, okay? I don’t want anyone else to know—at least until I figure out what I’m doing.”
“But you’ll get a second opinion and let me go with you?”
Austin nodded. “Fine. But promise me you aren’t going to say anything.”
“I’ll do you one better. I won’t say anything, and I promise I’m not going to let you die.”
CHAPTER 23
* * *
Georgia
“I’m in love with Max.”
Maggie’s eyes flashed to me and back to the road. “Well that’s nice to know. But where the hell did that come from? We’ve been together since I picked you up to go to the warehouse at six o’clock this morning. I’ve tried to prod you into talking about things a half dozen times. And you pick now to spring that on me? At nine o’clock at night, after a fifteen-hour day, when we’re five minutes away from your apartment?”
I smiled. “Sorry. It’s been a long few days, and I haven’t slept well. I’m really tired, and normally the only thing I want to do when I’m exhausted is crawl into my own bed and knock out. Gabriel and I have argued over it more than once. Like when we’ve rolled out new products, and I spent every night working really late? He would tell me to come stay at his place, but I wouldn’t because I just wanted to be in my own bed. I’m exhausted right now, but I would rather go over to Max’s apartment and snuggle and sleep with him and his two dogs that snore than have my entire bed to myself. And it made me realize that a shitty night of sleep with Max is better than a good night of sleep alone, and that’s because I’m in love with him.”
“I’m happy for you. I don’t know
Max well, but I like him a lot, and I’ve had a good feeling about the two of you from the beginning. You may not understand hockey, and he might not know much about running a company like you do, but you have a lot of the important stuff in common, like self-awareness and ambition. Gabriel always thought he was ambitious, but there’s a big difference between wanting things from life and being willing to put yourself out there to make it happen, you know?”
I nodded. “Max would never get upset because I wanted to work sixty hours a week. He’d try his best to distract me, but he’d also be excited to hear what I was working on.”
We pulled up in front of my building, and Maggie double-parked. “So where does this leave things with Gabriel?”
I sighed. “I have feelings for him. I can’t deny that. We have a long history together, and there was a time I was sure he was right for me. But now I know I’d rather take a chance on Max than be with Gabriel, even if he is willing to commit to me and is coming home in six months, and Max is moving three-thousand miles away.”
“Welp, you know the old saying. If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If not, go fuck yourself because you were an idiot for letting it go in the first place.”
I laughed. “I feel like that should be a new message option on one of our cards.”
“Damn straight. I’m poetic.” She smiled. “So what’s your plan? I know you have one. Because God forbid you make a decision and not have a twelve-page, outlined work plan for how to execute it ready in your head.”
“I need to talk to Gabriel first—tell him we aren’t on the same page, that I don’t want an open or closed relationship with him anymore.”
“And Max?”
“I’m praying he and I are on the same page. There would obviously be a lot of logistics to figure out. But maybe he can stay with me in the offseason, and we can take turns visiting during.”
“I don’t want to be a downer, but it’s my job as co-pilot to make sure we’re ready for takeoff. So what happens if you break things off with Gabriel, and Max says he doesn’t think long distance will work?”
