Home for Good

by Nickie Nalley Seidler

  “Last night was a mistake. I’m sorry I did that. I like you, Paisley, since the moment I saw you.”

  “Cage…”

  “Just don’t quit.”

  He turned toward the door. I could tell from his facial expressions he was flustered. In a way I was, too. Everything was confusing me. I was angry, turned on, angry, confused, and back to angry. He was my damn boss. Tate. Fuck. Tate had my heart, he held it for my entire life even when Clint tried to steal it, and I thought he could mend it back together and I was very, very, wrong. Now he was tearing me apart limb by limb.

  Cage walked out the door and I sighed. A moment later I heard yelling. I peeked my head out and my heart pounded out of my chest as I saw Clint throwing a punch at Cage. I charged out the door. “Stop it! Stop it!” I screamed barreling down the steps to break it up.

  “Who the fuck does he think he is?” I swatted Clint back pushing hard on his chest.

  “Cage, go!”

  “No way! This asshole has some nerve showing up to your place after what he is doing to you.”

  “Cage! Just go. I will handle this.”

  “The hell you will! He fucking swung at me first!” Clint pushed forward and I pushed him hard back again.

  Cage shook his head and got in his car and tore off.

  “That’s my fucking boss you asshole! Get off my property!”

  “Talk to me, Paisley!”

  “Talk to you? What the fuck does that even mean?”

  “You didn’t mean you hated me.”

  I shook my head staring at the ground. I couldn’t make eye contact with him. Face him or admit that I indeed hated what he was doing to me. I also couldn’t shake the fact that Cage was swinging at my ex-husband. This confused the hell out of me.

  “Go home, Clint. You shouldn’t have come.”

  “Give me another chance, Paisley.”

  “Another chance to do what?”

  “To win your heart.”

  I looked at Clint like he grew another head or turned into a damn alien from outer space with that foreign statement.

  “Excuse me? What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Me, Paisley. Chasity is gone.”

  “So because you’re whore is gone you want to win your ex-wife’s heart back? Stop it, Clint. Just fucking stop.”

  “I have always wanted you. I have never been good enough, but I want to be.”

  Hearing his words crushed my damn heart. I always wanted the best, the absolute best for Clint. I was tired of his bullshit though. Was he even in the right state of mind? How could he want me, but take my kids away? This whiplash exhausted me. The only damn person I needed in this moment was Tate. He would make it all go away, feel better, or would he? He was just as hurt with me because of what I did. My kids were his damn niece and nephew. My life twisted into one big cluster fuck. I felt defeated, sinking far to the bottom of the earth. Rotting into the soil as everything fell apart. What if Clint couldn’t handle me telling him no again? Would he for sure go through with custody? If I made it happen, would he stop it? My mind spun in every which direction contemplating my future. Then Cage thrown into the mix and my head thrashed thinking about it. My heart told me to go to bed.

  I had little time to rest before going to pick up the kids. The only thing on my damn mind was getting Clint to leave so I could be alone by my damn self.

  “Clint, I have always had respect for you for being the father to our babies. And every single time you dated someone new, you threw me out to the water without a life vest. I’ve had to work my ass off for what I have and earned it. I swam many waters barely afloat because of you. And for what? Spite? Because you want my heart? The day I lost respect, was the day you decided to serve me papers over full custody. Don’t have the audacity to walk your happy ass to my house and beg for my heart. The only fucking begging you need to do, is for my forgiveness when I kick your ass for breaking the heart you want. Because you know who it belongs to. And I’m sorry it’s not you.”

  I let out an exasperated breath. It hurt to let the truth come out. It was the way he made me feel. He stomped my heart in the dirt every time he dated someone and now he wanted me back? I would be an idiot to give him a chance. If he hurt me just because he was hurt, that’s not the kind of man I want. I saw in his eyes the disappointment, hurt, regret. But, I didn’t care, I didn’t deserve even the fraction of what he put me through all because some girl hanging on his neck thought that’s what was best for them. Until he dumped her.

  “That—that—hurt.” He stuttered, clearing his throat before he choked on his tears.

  “Go home, Clint.”

  “I will drop the custody case. I am sorry I have put you through hell. Pain has always made me do stupid things. To the one woman who never compared to anyone else.”

  I shifted my feet as he leaned against his truck fidgeting with his keys. “Clint, do you even remember our divorce? It was mutual. It didn’t work out and we both agreed upon that. Do you remember?”

  “I remember. I was also hurt, so I did what ultimately I knew you wanted. I would have given you the world, Paisley.”

  “That’s just it, I didn’t want the world, Clint. I wanted to be knocked off the axis with love and it just wasn’t there.”

  Gah, my heart. I needed to nap and forget everything existed in the world. I needed Tate, to wrap his strong arms around me. To rock my world off its axis.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  B elinda took the kids and we skipped dinner with everything going on I wasn’t up to it. Then I ragingly cleaned my house. Every time I walked past my bedroom and saw the custody papers it made me clean that much harder. I organized the kid’s rooms, scrubbed the kitchen, and mopped all the floors. Clint struck a nerve with me even if he said he would drop the custody. I didn’t believe him. Hell, I couldn’t believe what he did to me in the first place.

  Cage, he made me contemplate my job and if staying really was a fit for me. I wouldn’t deny the feeling I got when we kissed, but, it wasn’t right. I’m lonely, I’m desperate for Tate in my life, the last thing I needed was Cage fucking any of that up. There was enough between Tate and I to get through.

  Realizing all the stress I had been under, I had forgotten to eat. My mind went to pizza and I marched toward the kitchen. My phone rang and I wished I didn’t hear it. But, since Belinda had the kids, I worried letting it go. I saw Delaney’s number on the screen.

  “Hello?” I answered.

  “Can we talk in private? Meet me at the beach? North side pier in an hour.”

  “What’s going on? If you haven’t noticed, I placed my two weeks’ notice today.”

  “That’s exactly why. I’ll see you there.”

  She ended the call. What the fuck? I just wanted to make my damn frozen pizza and go to bed early. Why would she want to meet up and at the beach at that?

  I hopped in the shower and rinsed off from the intense sweat I worked up cleaning house. I towel dried my hair and tossed on athletic shorts with a plain black tank top. It was hot out there and I just wanted to get whatever this was over with.

  I jumped in my car and sped off toward north pier. Sliding into a parking spot next to Delaney’s car, we made eye contact before we got out and dipped our toes in the sand.

  “What’s up?” I asked tired of already being here when I just wanted my bed.

  “Cage isn’t going to let you leave.”

  I looked at her alarmed by her statement. “What does that mean?”

  “Come on, let’s walk. I want to make sure I wasn’t followed.”

  “Followed? What the hell is going on, Delaney?”

  We walked across the sand, the wind in our hair, we were practically the only ones out here and if anyone followed either of us, we had a clear shot of the vehicles.

  “I saw him corner you at the restaurant. This isn’t the first time, Paisley. He’s done it to me, and a past assistant…”

  “Well sounds like me leaving is
the best decision then.”

  “You don’t understand. The last assistant was found dead at the bottom of the cliffs. Reportedly, they said, suspected suicide. I believe with everything I have in me, he pushed her.”

  I stopped in my tracks. “Delaney, do you understand what you’re implying? That Cage, top lawyer in the state is a murderer?”

  “Believe what you want. He cornered you at a restaurant and I’m almost willing to bet he also came on to you? Am I right? You thought you could dismiss one act but not the other? I’ll also go out on a limb and say he showed up at your house too? Come on, Paisley! Tell me I’m wrong!”

  I stared at her eyes showing me the concern she had written all over them. It wasn’t easy knowing how eerily the look on her face told me she was telling the truth.

  “Say you’re not wrong, now what? Why are you here telling me this? Why are you still employed under them? Is Van this way too?”

  “Van has never showed me any alarm, but they are close. Too close. I’m not sure he can’t be part of anything. I’m scared to leave, and when I saw what he did at the restaurant and then your two weeks come in today, and Cage was not at court or not in the office, I just knew.”

  “What am I supposed to do? Live in fear and not leave? He did come on to me, twice in fact. He also swung punches at my ex-husband. He made me feel uncomfortable at the restaurant, then in his car. I have kids Delaney, I can’t risk my life but I can’t stay there.”

  “I’m just telling you, watch your back. He’s going to do everything in his power to get you to stay. Because he wouldn’t want you to open your mouth.”

  “That assistant, the last one, why wasn’t it public? Why didn’t they suspect him? They had to of interviewed you, no?”

  “No, they didn’t interview anyone besides Cage and Van. I assume they paid a pretty penny to keep that out of their hair and the public’s eyes.”

  I kicked the sand with my feet and watched the tide roll in. I believed her, oddly, but what the hell was I going to do? I wasn’t sure I believed he was a murderer, maybe he was? Now that my skin crawled with information I wished I didn’t know, yet glad I did too.

  “I have to go, they watch everyone, Paisley, please be careful.”

  “Stop. Why can’t we just go to HR and report this like any normal company? Even if it’s against the bosses we are now two people claiming the same thing. They’d have to believe us?”

  “Who are they going to take it up with? Cage? Van? There’s nobody higher than them.”

  She had a point, the same point I had to Tate when I mentioned it to him. Something didn’t sit right. Everything seemed off. He was coming on to me but would kill me if I left the company? There was a missing piece to the puzzle.

  We drifted off and I waited for her to get in her car and leave before I got in mine. This man tried to be my lawyer. He scared me from the restaurant, then came on to me within twenty four hours. Confusion set in stone, and I needed to wash it away with facts, maybe I would start with this last assistant. Part of my stomach twisted at the thought of her being dead. The thought Delaney had that Cage was involved. It swirled in my head.

  My phone pinged with a text.

  Cage: Stay at the job. I have direct deposited a bonus to your account for my apologies. See you in office tomorrow.

  What? He direct deposited a fucking bonus? I quickly tapped my bank app and logged in and my eyes flew open wide, my stomach dropped, and my mouth hung agape.

  10,000 bonus.

  What.

  The.

  Fuck.

  I typed at a flashing speed into my phone, pressing the invisible buttons like a mad woman.

  Me: Put the money back! That’s insane! I am not accepting this.

  No response.

  I drove the only place I knew to go with this fuckery.

  ●・○・●・○・●・○・●

  “He did what?” Tammy roared jumping up from the couch.

  “Yeah, I have no idea what the hell to do!”

  “Don’t take the money that will blow up in your face sis.”

  “I know I’m not going to take the money even though fuck if I didn’t need it!”

  She shook her head. “Do you think this Delaney broad is tellin’ the truth?”

  I nodded my head up and down. I had no real reason not to believe her. She wouldn’t benefit in any way to lie about it. Any of it. The whole thing freaked me the hell out that my boss could be a damn murderer! People don’t accuse people of being a murderer lightly. I just didn’t get that vibe from her. If anything, she’d be telling me to run for the hills or hide, but she told me to stay to fear for my damn life and watch my back.

  “Tammy, what if I hired someone?”

  “Like a P.I.?”

  “They’d be able to dig way more than I ever would.”

  “And what if it’s true, what if he catches on? How the hell would you even pay for that?”

  I shrugged my shoulders and slumped down. She was right, my financial status played a big role there. The answers were clouded, leaving me no choice but to somehow investigate it myself.

  “I’m scared, Tammy. This was supposed to be a happy new job and a good paying one at that, but at what price? My life?”

  “We need a code word. Like if you ever got scared with him, I’d know who you were with and call the authorities.”

  “How about I’ll text you the simple thing of what I hate, like hm, pineapple? I can say I would love some pineapple.”

  “That’s the weirdest shit you ever said. Girl, come on.” She belted out in laughter.

  “Sorry, I’ve never had to think of a fucking code word that might tell you I’m in danger.”

  “How about DW?”

  I raised my brow, “DW?”

  “Dangerous waters.”

  “I guess that works.”

  I paced back and forth in her living room. The thought of returning home alone made me uncomfortable. The whole damn thing made me jittery and on edge. With no man to comfort me, I relied on myself. This called for a damn beer.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  E xcept for a few cars, the parking lot at the bar was empty. That’s the way I enjoyed going out, when I didn’t have to worry about an overcrowded asshole time. The more people, the more shit I always had to deal with. For some reason, men had a thing for hitting on me in this town and I wanted nothing to do that with tonight.

  I sat down at the end of the bar as the bartender lifted his chin at me. Dale was on duty tonight, he was my favorite. Kind and kept them coming. He also typically helped my mental health and doubled as my therapist the more the beers flowed. He brought my usual over, Coors Light fresh on tap tonight.

  “Thanks. Definitely keep them coming tonight.”

  He smiled and attended to the other two men down the bar. My thoughts shifted back to Cage. No matter how hard I tried to blur it out, the damn shit kept circling in my brain. More specifically, the word murderer. I hugged the life out of Tammy because I feared for my damn life. Everyone always says, just go to the police. Cage was the top lawyer in the state, he had connections, many, many, connections. Not putting it past me if he had police wrapped around his finger. Especially, if this assistant case was hush hush under the radar.

  I downed my beer and Dale placed another one in front of me. There were a couple guys over by the pool tables and I was the only woman in the joint. I thought of the very last time I sat at the bar here. Tate Watson came barreling over to me with those dangerous eyes. Except the danger in his eyes, wasn’t the murdering kind. That night felt like yesterday, the feelings so raw between us I felt a stray tear roll down my cheek unaware I even started crying. I chugged the rest of my beer, and started on the next.

  “You alright?” Dale asked.

  I shook my head. “Nopeee.”

  “Take it easy, you know you can only handle three or four of these.”

  “Shut up, Dale.”

  He smirked and waited on anot
her patron that walked in. Feeling the buzz knock me off balance in my damn seat, I giggled and made my way over to the pool tables.

  “Hey, hot stuff, you gonna play tonight?”

  I lifted my beer as if I was going to cheers the group with their beers and make a speech. Instead I lifted the Coors to my red lipstick stained lips downing the entire thing.

  “Who’s a playing’? Cause I’m gonna beat your ass.” I slurred, losing my balance directly into a guy with large, tatted arms.

  “Honey, the only thing you’re gonna lose tonight is your keys.”

  “Haha, you won’t find them,” I teased.

  “You’re drunk sweetheart. I’ll find them.”

  I lowered myself to eye level with the pool table aiming with everything I had in me to make this solid orange ball in the hole. Dale refilled my beer handing me another glass shaking his head like he regretted it. I pulled the cue stick back before jamming it forward missing the ball all together, and the table as I bounced off the edge and landed on the floor.

  “You alright?” A stray hand landed on my arm offering me up.

  “I’m fine I’m fine!” I swatted the hand and barely could stand up on my own. The intoxication taking over my ability to function normally.

  “Paisley,” He said softly. Hearing my name roll off his tongue shot me upright. I looked up to see Clint standing before me with his arm out still.

  “Go away.”

  “I’m not leaving, Paisley.”

  “Then I will.” I rose to my wobbly feet and stumbled back again grabbing the table for balance.

  “You’re not leaving like this, give me your keys.”

  “Fuck off.” I roared, daring my feet to move one ahead of the other without falling again.

  “Dale called me to come help you.”

  “Fuck you, Dale!” I shouted. I knew he didn’t know the latest, and probably had nobody else to call to get my drunk ass home.

  “C’mere.” Clint’s southern drawl was deep as he wrapped his arm around my middle helping me outside. Feeling his hand, swooped memories in, when I had been pushing them out. I flicked his hand off me and stumbled forward.