“Now that bag right there, would make any woman weak in her knees.”
“I got something else that will make you weak in your knees.” He strutted over to me with a smile that sliced through my heart. That was the thing about Tate. He held my heart in his hands and just the smallest gestures or loving looks made my insides like putty. It didn’t matter though, nothing mattered as long as our love stayed strong.
“Oh yeah?” I winked.
“Mhm.” He leaned down to kiss me and I pushed him away.
“Kids.” I mouthed.
“Oh.” He faked a smile and I could tell how upset he was. We haven’t said anything yet. Too soon and I couldn’t handle losing any bit of closeness we were holding after their daddy died.
“I’m sorry, it’s just you know…”
“It’s fine, really.” He placed the bag of food in my lap.
Inhaling the wonderful smell of fried chicken, coleslaw, and what I could see, collard greens.
“There’s enough for the kids, too,” He added.
“Tell me the news.” I focused on his posture standing tall, confidently, and a small smirk forming on his face. “Tate!”
“Ok! Ok! I have officially retired from the military. I didn’t renew my contract.”
My lips formed a flat line. I wanted to be excited about the news because hell it was amazing news. But, who was it amazing for? Tate’s life revolved around the military for so long it’s what he knows. It’s what he’s good at. It’s what he does. I wasn’t sure who Tate was without the military. How he would adjust to life outside of it? What would he do? Then my mind shifted to the wonderful part about seeing him alive and breathing in front of me daily. No more secrets, no more trips. Time.
“Wow, is this good news?” I treaded water trying to hope what came out of his mouth was happiness and not regret.
“It is. It’s been coming and it’s here. With dad being gone, and now my brother, it seems only right to help out with the family business. Brooks can’t do it all.”
I placed the bag of food down and stood up sliding my arms around his stomach pulling him in for a long, heartfelt hug. Tate seemed like he truly was starting to shape into a grown man. I feared he hadn’t grown up, but this was life altering. The family construction business has been in the Watson family for over fifty years. Tate went into the military to avoid going down his father’s path of the business that was expected and laid out for him. He ran far away from it and didn’t speak to his family for the entirety of him being gone. It was a statement, and now this was an even bigger one. It was a step up. A move his mother might flip out over.
“That’s great. You’re doing a good thing.”
“What’s a good thing?” Jared appeared from around the corner with his hands on his hips.
“Um, well, Tate is going to be taking over the family business like what your daddy did.”
“Ah.” He shrugged. “You seemed to hug him like you like him.”
Catching myself off guard from his bold remark, my own son rendered me speechless.
Tate went for it. “Well, we do like each other buddy. We grew up with one another.”
“So did my daddy. You going to marry her too?”
“Jared Lee!”
“Sorry.”
“It’s ok, he’s entitled to his feelings,” Tate said.
“Jared, take this bag in the kitchen and fix yourself a plate. Than you can thank Tate for bringing it.”
He whipped the bag off the ground and pounded into the kitchen.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”
“He’s getting older, has his opinions, and just lost his father and papa, that’s a lot to process. Let me go make us a plate. Will Livy eat?”
I giggled. “Just the chicken.”
“Done, I’ll make the plates. Sit and relax.”
After he went over to the kitchen, I took a deep breath and exhaled. Between the kids, and now this news I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. The good and the bad mixed together like yin and yang. The toughest part, was the way everything took its toll on the kiddos, mostly Jared.
Tate strolled in with two plates in his hand as he handed me one.
“Tate, I think you should come on vacation with us.”
“Yes. Abso-damn-lutely yes!”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
R ow upon row of patrons paying their respect to Clint filled the pews. The preacher stood at the front with his closed casket and spoke about him. Part of me wasn’t even able to listen because it hurt so badly. I felt guilty. Standing next to Belinda who was just a complete mess sobbing and acting out. Tate and Brooks were by her side practically holding her up. Clint was Belinda’s golden child. He helped her with literally everything. Although I was sure that it was the combination of both of their sudden and unexpected losses that had her upset.
Once they got her settled and seated, Tate sat next to me. My mother was on the other side of Tate. Brooks held Livy and Jared was on the other side of Belinda. My world spun as I stared at the casket. My chest rose and fell with such a hardness I thought my heart would fall out. Visions of being trapped in the casket shook me up, then the visions changed to whatever shape Clint was in. Why would I even think about that? It was disturbing and sick where my mind was going, but it was there. The wake was a closed casket because the condition of his body was horrific. It traumatized me to no end what happened to him, what Tate hasn’t said, and lived with. The entire thing began to make my body quake.
“You ok?” Tate whispered into my ear.
I shook my head. My hands clammed up, sweat bead on my forehead, and my chest felt like it was tightening by the second, like a pound of concrete on top of me making me unable to breathe.
“I need some air.” I choked out.
“Just a few more minutes, babe.”
Then the pastor’s word resonated deep within me.
Clint was a man of his word. He held open his arms for any person in need. Now, God opens his arms for Clint. Takes him in his embrace and thanks him for the time he spent on this earth being a great father, son, brother and friend. God, heal all of the family and friends of Clint. For he is with you the Lord now. Let us remember Clint for the courageous, loving man he was.
“Tate, I can’t.” I breathed harder.
The walls around the casket closed in on me. The small amount of air disappearing as I suffocated, clawing my nails on the top of the coffin trying to pry my way out without success. The dark black I saw when my eyes were open or closed made me feel like I was dead. No life was being lived in the confines of the coffin. Then I heard Tate’s voice bring me back to life.
“Paisley? Paisley?” He shook me slightly before bear hugging me. “It’s ok, honey.”
Snapping out of it I looked at him, and to my embarrassment the entire church staring right at me. Oh my God.
“Let’s get you some air.” He whispered offering to help stand me up.
“I got the kids don’t worry,” Brooks said, quietly.
Tate took my elbow and wrapped his other hand around my waist as he led me out of the side door at the church. Once the soft breeze touched my face and the thunder rumbled off in the distance, I felt awoken.
“What happened in there? You were like screaming and it was like you weren’t here.”
“The coffin. Seeing him in there, it triggered me and I couldn’t breathe. I was screaming?”
“Honey, you were almost convulsing.”
“Oh God, my kids, they must be scared.”
“Shhhh, breathe. You need to be you before you walk back in there. They need you to be healthy, alert, and ok. Take a minute. Brooks has them.”
“Ok.” I exhaled. “But you’re missing this because of me. Please go in there, Tate.”
“Sweetheart, nothing a pastor will say will change my thoughts of how good of a man my brother was. Only, I need to first make sure my beautiful girl is ok.”
He brought me in
his arms and held me as we looked out into the lightening that illuminated the sky.
“See? Your heartbeat is coming down. Feel that?”
I nodded my head. I felt it. Tate always calmed the storm. Only, I just hated how he didn’t show his emotion to me about all of this. I knew he was breaking slowly on the inside from seeing me initially at the bar, and everything that has occurred since. He played the strong alpha taking care of everyone else. Just like the Watson men did. All three of them were so alike in those ways.
“I’m ready to go back in.”
Tate spun me around to face him as he looked down into my eyes. Love washed over me and radiated around us. He wanted to desperately kiss me and I wanted nothing more. I also knew where we were. Even if we were grown adults, the circumstances made me feel guilty. When I needed him, I also thought about Clint. Some of our last moments together. Then it went back to Tate.
“I love you, Paisley. I’m going to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much.”
My cheeks reddened. “I love you, too.”
We both headed back in. No kiss. It wasn’t the time or place. I sat down and rested next to Belinda who lay her hand on mine and bowed her head in prayer before I realized everyone had their head bowed to pray.
Within minutes, the pastor was wrapping everything up. This was it. The finality of everything. Burying Clint in the ground next to his daddy seemed so final. Never would I see him picking up the kids. Helping me with the house, or my car. The end of life was anything but peaceful for the ones who were left behind. Clint was up there partying with God, or whoever the almighty was. The afterlife. While we all mourned and struggled to figure out how to move on. How to raise these kids without their father. It was a lot. It weighed down on my shoulders, a weight I never felt before. Not like this. Feeling truly grateful for the support system. I would be a bigger mess if I didn’t have my mama, Tammy, Tate, and Brooks. Life would go on one day and step at a time. Holding my babies with every fiber of my being to protect them from any more hurt. Today, I was going home and finding our happiness again. Jared and Livy deserved the best. They deserved to smile and laugh. And damn it, I was going to make it happen.
●・○・●・○・●・○・●
“Mommy, I can’t find my socks!” Livy whined, tossing her room to pieces.
“I’ll help!” Mama said.
I walked into Jared’s room and sat on the edge of his bed. “Morning, dude. Can we talk before school real quick?”
He sighed dramatically. “What now?”
“Hey, come on. You never had this attitude with me before. What’s up?”
“Things are different now.”
“Well, they aren’t different between you and me. Tell me what’s bothering you?”
“I’m mad that I’m just stuck with you.”
I shuddered at his bold truth. “You are right, you’re stuck with me. But I love you and I am your mom. And I know your daddy is gone to heaven, but I’m here. You have your uncle and grandma and grand maw. So many people who love and care about you. Please don’t think you’re stuck with me as a bad thing. You are a blessed buddy. We will get through this. I promise.”
“I’m sorry, mom.”
“It’s ok. Look I came here in to tell you I’m planning for all of us to take a vacation and much needed fun time together. Ok?”
“Ok, like Disney World?”
“Hmmm, maybe. We’ll see. Get ready for school ok?”
He rolled out of bed and began to get ready as I made my way out in the hallway. I got Livy ready and she stomped outside into the car. I looked over at my mama, a godsend to me for all her help with the kids the last two weeks. She’ll never know how much it all meant to me.
“I am going to miss you, mama.”
“I am not that far, we’ll see you soon, the holidays will be here before you know it.” She walked up to me and placed her delicate hands on my shoulders. With tears in her eyes, fighting to be unleashed, she looked me up and down and then studied my eyes staring back into hers. “Honey, are you sure you’re ok?”
“Oh mama, don’t worry about me. I’ll be just fine.” I tilted my head to the side in a small smile. Really breathing in the moment.
“I have no doubt in my mind you will be. But if you ever aren’t, I’m just a phone call away. You all have been through a lot.”
“Thank you, I love you so much.”
I wrapped my arms around her squeezing her tightly as she hugged me back with all her might. Then I felt an extra set of hands wrapped around us both.
“I love you too, Jared.” She laughed.
“We’ll miss ya around here,” he said.
“You can call me too.”
“Love you, Maw maw.”
I tapped Jared’s back pack and he headed outside to join his sister in the car. Time to go back to reality. Well, that was our reality. School for the kiddos, and job hunting for me. Although, I might know someone who could use a lot of business help. Maybe he’d hire me on full time.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
T he worn wooden door to his office was closed. I knew better to know that meant he was busy. I sat down at my new, freshly, stained, cherry oak desk. Flexing my fingers, I powered my laptop up to go through the calendar of today’s appointments and to do lists. I had three contractors to call first thing this morning and a meeting with the president of the company. I smiled wide seeing the plaque on the wall that read Tate Watson, President and CEO of Watson Construction. Tapping my toes to the plastic beneath my feet, I rolled my swivel chair around to meet one sexy gaze staring back at me.
“You look exceptionally hot today for our meeting’.”
“Only for the best.”
“Get in here.”
I laughed and rose to my feet as I sauntered into Tate’s office. I whipped the door closed behind me and his lips crashed to mine instantly hiking my leg up his body. My hands gripped behind his head, deepening the already intoxicating kiss. His hand traveled down my white button up shirt as he popped each and every one of them ripping them open. Fidgeting with my black lace bra between his needy fingers he broke the kiss to look at me before looking down at my top.
“Hope you brought an extra shirt. Sorry, but when you said you wanted to spike up the heat a little bit, I didn’t think you’d be making me want to rip your clothes off, baby.”
“Oh that was the plan, sweetheart.” I licked my lips seductively before giving him a taste of what was really about to happen. Those dangerous eyes perked up in response sending me over the moon eager to have this man. My man.
“Well, bless your heart, I knew I loved you more with each racing breath you stole away from me each time I saw ya.”
He dove back into our intense kiss before working his hands up my thighs and over my knee high stockings before sliding his finger up and above my plaid skirt. Bucking my hips into him with a need I hadn’t felt in years. He matched his need to mine and traced his tongue along my jaw line, then to my neck before sucking ever so softly until I begged for more. My hands moved to his buckle while I ripped it open and undid the button to his work pants. Quickly I unzipped them and pushed his pants to the floor. I giggled out loud.
“You’re not wearing underwear?” I asked.
“You said you wanted heat.”
I laughed even harder before he mounted me on his large desk bringing himself close to my entrance.
“See, your underwear is hot, mine not so much. But they need to come off now.” With one hand he slid them off and tossed them on the floor.
Feeling his cock push inside me sent me into a whole other world. The world of Tate and I. Hot for one another, love over the moons, and the most molded relationship from what was, to what is.
Feeling him rock on top of me in and out made me close to oblivion and pure ecstasy which matched what I saw deep in his eyes. It was more, it was love, real, raw, love this man had for me. Like even in this moment, sex that was basically a quick fuc
k before work, this man somehow still made love to me with his eyes. His dangerous eyes.
The phone rang throwing me off before he redirected my face to his with a feather like kiss as he rammed me harder more demanding. My legs quaked beneath his touch as I released just as he was. I kissed him back tenderly as the phone still obnoxiously rang. Pulling away from him, I leaned over the desk and picked up the receiver.
“Watson Construction,” I answered.
“And just like that, this woman of mine takes business casual to a new level.” He chuckled kissing my free hand as he began to clean up.
“Oh, Tammy, just you.” I giggled.
The funny thing was, when Tate decided to hire me for help a month ago, he laughed thinking me being his secretary did such illegal things. I told him I planned to do much more illegal things. Including penciling sex into his calendar just to have an excuse to have some fun in this big new office of his. He had no clue what I meant or how I would make it happen. I’d like to think today moved milestones in our relationship. Things finally started to become normal between us. The love grew exponentially and the relationship we had evolved into something bigger and better.
The kids enjoyed being around Tate, so much so that Livy actually asked him to stay overnight. The discussion about Uncle got dropped and they just call him Tate. For now, it worked, and we rolled with it. The more they got comfortable with Tate, the less I think it would matter to them the specifics. He hadn’t officially gave up his apartment yet, but he practically lived at my house so no formality would be anything huge for us. The normalcy that got back to our lives felt nice.
Brooks took over the field work which was what he was good doing at Watson Construction and the brothers have been better than they ever were. The bond building between them again was bittersweet for me to watch. Brooks was always my person. Helpful, down to earth, and the sweetest man to me, always looking out for me. Seeing those two together just warmed my heart. And shockingly enough, the men did great doing business together. I worried Tate would be out of his element and hate or resent the fact he retired from the military, but it had been the best decision he could have ever made. This suits him. It suited us, although, I was a little bias knowing he was my boss and all.
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