The Doctor's Gift

by Fiona McArthur

  ‘Ailee. Well met.’ His glance warmed her already pink cheeks. He looked strong and fit but there were dark shadows beneath his eyes and her heart contracted.

  Had she done this to him? He was a good man and didn’t deserve being messed about. ‘You’re walking early. Why’s that?’ Although she thought she knew.

  ‘Why am I out walking? I couldn’t sleep. Why here? Someone I know lives around here and she told me she ran on this beach.’

  ‘Come back for breakfast and then I’ll drive you home,’ she offered, not sure what she would tell her mother.

  He smiled ruefully. ‘Do I look that worn out?’

  Ailee pretended to consider the question. ‘Put it this way... I don’t think you’ll enjoy the long walk home.’

  ‘How about we have a coffee here on the beach?’ He pointed to the vendor setting up his stall.

  ‘So much for my run,’ Ailee complained, but she knew which she’d rather do and there were things she’d been waiting to say. Things she had to say. She paused for him to stand and as they crossed the street together, he rested his hand on the small of her back. As if he couldn’t resist. His touch warmed her through her tee-Shirt and down to her toes.

  When they were seated back on the bench with their takeaway coffees, neither seemed eager to start the conversation.

  Ailee thought she had what she wanted to say ready. She’d practised her opening sentence enough to explain about William. It was the right thing to do. When he knew about her brother, she’d leave the decision to him.

  ‘I’m sorry I kissed you on Friday,’ he said.

  Ailee’s ready-for-departure train of thought derailed. That wasn’t what she’d expected him to say. He was sorry? She looked right into his tired eyes. ‘Why is that?’

  He didn’t say anything for a moment and, in fact, he really didn’t have to say a word. The searing look he gave her made his words superfluous. ‘Because I haven’t slept well since Singapore and that made it worse. I want to do more than kiss you right now.’

  He leant towards her and she found herself drawn closer as if pulled by an unseen force, but the moment was lost in a screech of tyres on the road behind them. Two horns blared at each other before the cars roared off in different directions.

  Ailee and Fergus both winced and sighed with relief at the lack of impact, more aware than a lot of people about the fragility of life.

  Ailee looked back at him. This was crazy. Fergus could melt her with one look and they were dancing around the attraction as if they had all the time in the world to choose to fall in love. People died. All the time. ‘I’m not sorry you kissed me.’

  ‘Oh, really?’ His mouth lifted and the glint of humour made her lips twitch.

  ‘Yep, but we have to talk. I do care for you but there are obstacles. I’m not backing away this time.’

  His hand reached across the bench and lifted her fingers and turned them over palm-up. ‘Fine. But let’s do it somewhere more private. Simone went off last night to sleep at Peyton’s house and won’t be home until after lunch.’

  He pulled her closer along the bench until her hip rested against his. ‘Come home with me for a while.’

  Her lips twitched. ‘Are you propositioning me, Mr McVicker?’

  He raised one eyebrow. ‘My word, I am.’ When he lifted her hand to his lips, she closed her eyes briefly just to feel it all.

  He pressed his lips to her open palm, and the warm, tingling sensation travelled straight to her stomach where it still glowed from yesterday.

  His voice dropped and seemed to brush against her skin. ‘Why have we danced around this so long?’

  ‘Because there are things you don’t know and you won’t listen.’

  They stood. ‘I promise to listen. But whatever I don’t know can’t change the feelings that I have for you.’

  In unison they dropped their unfinished drinks into the waste bin and he squeezed her hand as they turned towards her house.

  Her mother had dropped William at dialysis, and when Ailee ran in to collect her car keys there was no one to see her flushed cheeks. She dashed off a quick note to say she’d be home around lunchtime.

  As they drove towards Clovelly, Ailee’s cheeks warmed with the heat of his gaze fixed on her face. When she glanced across, he smiled and rested his long fingers on her leg as if to reassure himself she was there. It all felt so right. She looked down at his fingers curved around her thigh and grinned. ‘Nobody has held my leg since high school.’

  ‘I’d like to do a lot more but I’m playing it safe while you drive.’

  ‘That seems a sensible idea. But no hanky panky until I tell you what’s bothering me.’

  ‘Then hanky panky?’ His eyes were dancing and his hand slid.

  She slapped him and laughed out loud just because she was with him. Suddenly the day shone brighter and more exciting than any she could remember.

  He squeezed her leg briefly and then took his hand away. ‘But until then it is incredibly difficult to behave myself.’

  The tension mounted as they drove in through the gates and this time Fergus took her hand and led her around the back of the house and in through an enormous kitchen with a black slate floor.

  Ailee followed, glad they didn’t see anyone because Fergus took her straight up to his room with no pretence of conversation.

  Her heart pounded and her mouth dried.

  Fergus towed her into a bedroom similar in size to the one she’d been in on Friday, but this one was decorated in greens and blues and looked a little more lived-in. They stopped in the middle of the room and he captured her other hand so that she swung around and faced him.

  He stared down into her eyes. ‘I know we have to talk. But I also know it isn’t going to change anything. I need you in my arms. So dreadfully. Can you wait?’

  She shook her head in denial but her body leaned into him. ‘No.’

  Fergus smiled. His eyes intense, black and hungry. ‘Should I ask you again?’

  Her knees wobbled at his obvious intention and Ailee leaned up and brushed his mouth with hers before nodding. When his mouth came down Ailee sighed into him and one last thought wondered if she was so easily distracted, being a coward, because of the fear she wouldn’t get this at all once the talking was done.

  He lifted her and wrapped her in his arms. Homecoming. Like a burst of sunshine she’d been starved of. Like a hot blanket after the cold. Like love she’d waited for. And needed so desperately.

  It seemed Fergus needed her, too.

  His strength and gentleness created havoc as he slipped her tee from her shoulders, and slid the straps of her bra off her shoulders. Her bra hung precariously, holding her breasts loosely as he nibbled along her shoulders towards her neck and left her breasts bare to the coolness in the room.

  She peeled the shirt from his shoulders with urgent fingers needing to feel his skin under her hands. With a final flurry of discarded clothes, he pulled her back onto the bed in his arms and rolled on top of her to stare down at her. His gaze swept over her like a blast of heat and she followed his glance down the length of their bodies.

  This was what she wanted. So wanted. Needed. Had waited for and thought she’d lost. His legs lay on either side of hers as he held his weight off her body, his well-defined biceps golden and strong and so strongly beautiful he took her breath away.

  Then he rolled and took her with him to lie on their sides facing each other, and this time when he kissed her there were no other thoughts except the taste and feel of Fergus’s mouth on hers. The hunger between them exploded and expanded and left them both tossed and breathless.

  When he finally lifted his mouth, she felt swollen and hot and just as hungry as he looked, but he moved down her body, nibbling down her neck before paying homage to her breasts, and she gasped and pulled him closer, harder against her. Time blurred and swirled as he worshipped with his hands and mouth until she ached for him.

  He paused briefly to protect her befor
e kneeling above her, and this time she lifted herself towards him. She opened her eyes as he entered her. She knew this man, this recent stranger, like she knew herself, and she gloried in his possession because he was her destiny. If not now, then some time that had to come for them in the future.

  Afterwards they lay again on their sides, chests heaving, he still within her, staring at each other. He shook his head softly as he reached out and pulled the sheet over them.

  Fergus was in shock. What had just happened? He felt like a survivor from a raging storm.

  He’d loved his wife, had never been unfaithful, had never really expected to find love again. But this was no passing fancy. What Ailee had done to him had touched him deeply, resonated with a force unexpected, and he hoped she felt the same because he was hers for as long as they both shall live.

  He tightened his hands on her shoulders and the thought of his recent possession made him stir again. Her eyes widened and she smiled cheekily at him.

  * * *

  Afterwards they fell asleep in each other’s arms and when they woke it was lunchtime.

  Fergus stirred first and he wondered, as he lay on his side and watched this woman wake for the second time in his life, what lay ahead of them. He hoped many more years of watching her wake up. It was a big call but he knew he was certain.

  He grinned crookedly at her as she looked around the room properly for the first time. ‘The room is a little sparse, I know, but for the first time with two people in it, the new bed is very comfortable,’ Fergus said.

  Nice. And thoughtful. She leaned over and kissed him for the kindness. A new bed. She wondered when he’d bought it.

  She rolled onto her back and avoided his eyes. They’d entered each other’s souls back there and their intimacy made her blush so deeply her hands came up to cover the heat in her cheeks.

  ‘How on earth did we come to this point with each other so quickly? I can’t believe I’m here with you.’ She glanced down at the sheet covering her body. ‘Like this.’

  ‘Neither can I,’ he said huskily as he moved closer until his shoulder touched hers again. ‘Stuff that dreams are made of.’ He smiled at her. ‘I haven’t been alive like this for a very long time.’ His gaze swept over her and tingled her skin with his look of adoration.

  Ailee wanted to believe him. His words fitted the moment perfectly and Fergus was everything she’d dreamed of in a lover and in a man. Gentle, yet powerful, and the way he worshipped her body made her feel as if she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

  He kissed her and this time the fire was quick to sweep over them. ‘I have so needed you against me,’ he murmured as his lips burnt a trail down her neck and Ailee arched into him as his mouth closed over the peak of her breast.

  She dug her fingers into the strength of his shoulder blades and then down his back, remembering...

  ‘You are so beautiful,’ he sighed into the hollow between her breasts, and Ailee held his head and pulled him back towards her, and they lay on their sides again, staring at each other, and Fergus pulled the sheet up and over their heads so that they lay in their own world, holding hands in the white-out.

  The sun shone through the tree outside the window and dappled their tent as it billowed.

  ‘Okay,’ he said softly. ‘What do you need to tell me?’

  Ailee looked at the man beside her, the strong planes of his face carved in relief by shadows, his beautiful mouth that could give so much heat, and his caring eyes that made tears spring to her own. Of course Fergus would understand and support her.

  ‘It’s about my brother. William.’

  Fergus nodded.

  Before she could say another word, the insistent tone of his pager sounded and the moment was shattered by the outside world.

  Fergus closed his eyes for a second and then his lips curved ruefully. ‘I’m not on call. Stay here. I’ll be back.’

  He slid from beneath the sheet and then covered Ailee’s shoulder as he sat on the edge of the bed. He picked up the phone and with his other hand he tucked the sheet around her neck.

  Ailee watched him, watched his face, listened to his voice and decoded the expressions on his face. He’d have to go and they would postpone this again, but her time would come and everything would be fine. Her doubts had gone.

  Fergus replaced the receiver. ‘There’s a problem. I do have to go.’

  ‘I know.’

  He leant across and kissed her forehead. ‘Do you want to stay here?’

  ‘No. I'll go home.’

  ‘I’ll phone you. I broke my word. There is no doubt we have to talk.’ Fergus glanced around at the clothes scattered across the floor and his eyes twinkled. ‘We do seem to have trouble keeping our clothes on around each other.’

  She blushed but held her head high to meet his teasing. ‘It’s a lovely failing.’

  Ailee slid out of the bed and wrapped the sheet around her body as he moved into the dressing room. She stood up, gathered her clothes and began to dress.

  * * *

  William was home when she came in and he brushed Ailee’s concern off and went to bed, complaining of cramps. Fergus rang to ask her out for dinner, but Ailee couldn’t help the feeling that something was wrong with William and she needed to get to the bottom of it. She couldn’t leave William while he was unwell.

  She could hear the dissatisfaction with her evasion in his voice through the phone. ‘Your brother is sick?’ Ailee knew she sounded distracted, which wasn’t like her. ‘Is there anything I can do?’

  ‘Not yet, but maybe later.’ She heard the dryness in her tone.

  ‘I’ll see you at work Monday, then,’ he said.

  ‘Thank you for understanding, Fergus.’

  * * *

  By tea time William was still unwell, which was unusual after resting. Ailee nagged her reluctant brother into a return to the hospital for a check-up.

  Her years of renal medicine blurred when William was involved, but she suspected her brother’s condition could cause more delays for their surgery. He needed to be well by Wednesday’s assessment clinic or who knew what Fergus would decide?

  William was admitted to hospital as an emergency and the duty doctor refused to meet Ailee’s eyes and asked her to leave while he carried out the examination.

  Ailee paced. But when the doctor had finished, William also avoided her eyes, seeming even more subdued, and Ailee wanted to ask for her brother’s medical records so she could find out why. But she didn’t. She’d promised William years ago she wouldn’t without his permission. Something told her that permission wouldn’t be forthcoming this time.

  When the duty doctor came to see her, further evasion ensued. ‘We’ll keep William in. I think it’s best if you see Mr McVicker in the morning and discuss your brother with him tomorrow. Go home, Dr Green. Will asked you not to come back.’

  Ailee’s sinking feeling that not all was right with William strengthened.

  * * *

  First thing on Monday morning, Ailee heard Jody had been readmitted through Casualty with signs of rejection of her new kidney and pancreas, which meant Ailee had no chance to talk to Fergus.

  Every staff member on the ward was on tenterhooks as they waited for their star patient to arrive, and Ailee went about her duties with a dark heart.

  First William unwell and now Jody. Ailee met Fergus’s eyes as Jody was wheeled into the ward and they both knew she was headed for High Dependency.

  Jody lay in the emergency bed and she looked terrible. Her face brightly flushed and the rigors of her body were shaking the rails on the bed in time to the chattering of her teeth. ‘Get some bloods and get another line in,’ Fergus said as he reached for the phone. ‘Who sent her to the ward? She needs to get to ICU immediately.’

  Jody opened her eyes and squinted up a Fergus. ‘Don’t let me reject my kidney, Mr McVicker. I so want to be well. I don’t want to let my donor down.’

  ‘You haven’t let anyone down, Jody. We�
��ll do everything we can. Try and rest, sweetheart. Close your eyes and leave it to us.’

  The ward round was postponed and, like the emergency with Emma, Ailee itched to be back on the medical team and follow Fergus and Jody up to Intensive Care.

  But she had her own important work to do. The next few hours would be critical. Jody could lose at least her kidney, if not the pancreas, and if infection set in they would have to fight hard not to lose Jody.

  In her office, Ailee tried to concentrate on the paperwork essential to the donor-recipient records and even managed to complete the full list of recipients for Marion and John’s daughter, Eva, which she would need later in the day.

  Ailee was scheduled to meet Eva’s parents after lunch. Already she had three thank-you letters to give to them from the families of people whose lives had been enormously changed by Eva’s gift.

  All through the morning Ailee buried herself in the tasks she needed to complete and when she finally made her way to Intensive Care, Jody was on life support and her family was there.

  Fergus had just left to do a delayed ward round and that meant Ailee couldn’t stay. She hugged Jody’s mother and hurried back to the ward.

  By the time she arrived, Fergus had started the round without her. She came in as Fergus and Lawrence were discussing his discharge.

  ‘If you feel your spirits dropping, you need to contact your support worker,’ Fergus said.

  Lawrence looked up and smiled at Ailee. ‘Hi, Ailee. Have you told Mr McVicker what you’ve got me doing now?’

  Fergus glanced across and gave Ailee a half-smile as if he wasn’t willing to broadcast to the world how glad he was to see her. Apparently her being late wasn’t a problem now. The thought made her smile.

  ‘I haven’t had a chance this morning.’ She looked at Fergus. ‘Lawrence has enrolled in a correspondence welfare course, and is offering to mentor some of the young patients we have with compliance problems as soon as he finishes his course. If they listen to anyone, it will be someone who understands like Lawrence does.’