Broken Rules

by Jade Buchanan

  "Look, Neil's going to be here soon. We'll talk about this, I promise."

  "'kay."

  "Okay, well I better go pick him up now so we'll be back soon. Are you sure you don't want to come with me?" They'd already had that conversation but Jonah was hoping David had changed his mind.

  "No! I mean… I'd rather see him here. If that's okay with you."

  "Sure it is. I'll be back, okay?"

  David nodded.

  Jonah said goodbye to David and left him alone to drive to the airport. He didn't have long to wait but he was nervous about seeing Neil again. He worried that things wouldn't be the same this time around. He was also nervous about how Neil was going to act around David. He didn't have brothers so he honestly didn't know what Neil must be feeling. He could guess, though. Jonah had spent nearly half his life at the Brogan's house and he'd always admired the way they stuck together.

  They certainly held nothing back, whether they were fghting or bonding through love and laughter. The brothers could yell louder than anyone Jonah had ever heard, but they would be the frst ones to back each other up against someone else. Jonah just didn't know what Neil was going to do.

  Biting his nails, Jonah waited out the time until Neil's plane landed. Then he waited out the time for the plane to actually come to the terminal and for everyone to disembark and make their way to the exit.

  Jonah moved forward, skirting a kid that ran in front of him at the last minute. Seconds later he was enfolded in Neil's embrace.

  "I missed you," Neil breathed against his ear.

  "It's only been a week." Tucking his head against Neil, Jonah smiled.

  "So?"

  "Point made."

  Neil fnally released him, leaning back to look at his face. "He's okay?"

  "I left him at my place recuperating."

  "Do you know what happened to him?"

  Jonah paused. "I got the story out of him. Or at least part of it. He really needs to tell you himself. I'm not trying to be a dick, but I want him to tell you. He wants to tell you."

  "Should I be afraid?"

  "Just… don't get mad at him, okay?"

  "Fuck."

  Jonah grimaced. "I'm making it sound worse than it is. Shit. Just talk to him. Keep an open mind. Treat him like you would a victim."

  "Damn it, Jonah." Neil clenched his fst, thunderclouds moving over his face.

  "Let's go back home. You can talk to him. I wanted to give you a heads up so you don't go in there and blow up. He's done nothing wrong. Remember that for me?"

  "You're making this worse."

  Jonah froze, frowning in concern.

  "Shit, not like that. I mean, I'm thinking something worse every time you say something. I'm glad you're here. You're making this easier for me to deal with because I know you're here for both of us."

  Jonah smiled, leaning forward to hug Neil tightly again. "Come on. Let's get out of here. I'm in short term parking again."

  He led Neil out of the airport, and they both got into the Jeep. Jonah tried to keep Neil distracted with small talk until he pulled up in front of his house forty minutes later. They'd made good time thanks to the lack of traffc this time of day. He loved living in Calgary, but he really did hate how it took forever to drive anywhere thanks to the sprawling nature of the city. Jonah was thankful he'd been able to take today off. He felt bad about taking even more time off work, but it wasn't like he'd ever faked off before. He'd practically worked non-stop since he graduated from university.

  Neil still looked shell-shocked, so Jonah fgured he should try and make this as easy as possible. "I have a few errands to run. Do you want me to leave you and David by yourselves? Let you talk to him alone?"

  Neil fdgeted, not looking at Jonah. "I don't know."

  "David might not want me to be there with you guys."

  "I..."

  Jonah let up. He got out of the Jeep and started for his house with Neil following him blindly. "Let's just go in. You can talk to him and we can play it by ear, okay?"

  Standing back, Jonah let Neil enter the door frst.

  chAPteR nineteen

  "Fuck me." Neil shifted in front of him. Jonah couldn't see around him but he fgured David must be sitting in the living room.

  "Hi, Neil." David's voice wavered.

  Within moments Neil was striding forward and holding David close to him. David dropped his head to Neil's chest and started to sob.

  Jonah waited.

  Neil was murmuring something to David, too low for Jonah to hear.

  David gave one big sniff and Neil angled them enough to look over and nod at Jonah.

  Taking his cue, Jonah stepped back. "I'll be back soon, okay?"

  Neil smiled. Tears glistened in his eyes and Jonah wanted nothing more than to hold him but David needed him right now and by the looks of things Neil needed to be alone with his brother.

  Jonah let himself out. He wasn't sure what he was going to do now. He was lying earlier about the errands comment.

  Getting into his Jeep, he fgured he'd just drive around for awhile. How long could it take for Neil and David to bond?

  Ten minutes later, he realized he'd been driving to his destination unconsciously. He parked in the lot, getting out of the Jeep with a sigh. Walking toward his church, Jonah took stock.

  It was an older building, all dark wood exterior. Walking inside the front door he took a deep breath. Dipping his fngers in the holy water and crossing himself mindlessly, he walked into the main area of the church. The church was wider than it was long, with pews set out in four separate columns. When it was full, there had to be room for over a thousand people all told. It only really flled up completely on Christmas and Easter but it wasn't too bad during regular masses.

  The walls were painted a soothing pale green and ceiling fans rotated lazily overhead. A brown carpet covered the foor all the way up and over the stairs leading to the Sanctuary. The entire church was a mix of the old and new. Modern in style, but the stain-glassed windows and typical Catholic imagery brought the ancient in.

  "Hello, Jonah. I didn't expect to see you here."

  Jonah glanced up, smiling at Father Józef as he walked toward him from the right. Jonah knew that was where the church offce was so Father must have heard him coming in.

  "Hi, Father."

  Father Józef was tall and broad. His hair was a light brown, slightly balding in the front. Wire-framed glasses topped a wide, beaming smile. A slight accent brought attention to his upbringing in Poland. He'd been with the parish for the past three years and Jonah had gotten to know him pretty well in that time.

  Jonah twisted his hands together. "Father?"

  "Yes, Jonah."

  "Can I ask you a question?"

  "Of course. Please, sit down." He gestured to the end pew. Jonah moved over to slide in and Father Józef followed him.

  "I have this friend who just came over to stay with me. He's just a kid, really. I mean, he's eighteen, but he's still so young. You know?"

  Father Józef nodded his agreement, staying silent.

  "He's going through this rough time right now. He's a little lost and I don't know what to do about it. He's afraid that because of some of his life choices, his parents—and God, I guess—are going to turn away from him."

  "Ah." Father Józef nodded his understanding.

  "What do I say?"

  "What do you want to tell him?"

  "I want to tell him he's done nothing wrong, but I just...He's scared. He talked about going to Hell, and sinning against God. He's wrong. I know he's wrong." Jonah took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

  Father Józef was silent for a moment. "Did you tell him that?"

  "I tried to. I don't know if he heard me. What do I say? How can I make him understand?"

  "I believe you know your friend better than I do, but I think you should have faith. We are all made equal because of the actions taken by Jesus. He has taken on our trials—our sins—and provided us w
ith redemption. Believe in that. You will discover the right words to give your friend."

  Jonah took a deep breath. "Thanks, Father."

  "Have faith, Jonah." With that, Father Józef stood up and walked away.

  Jonah stayed where he was for a few minutes more. Finally he stood up and walked back to his car to go home.

  Ten minutes later, Jonah entered the house to silence. Uh oh. That may not be a good thing. "Hello?"

  Neil popped his head out around the kitchen. He shook his head and rolled his eyes. That couldn't be good.

  Jonah walked past the living room to enter the kitchen. Moving forward, Jonah skirted the case full of empty beer bottles and made his way into the kitchen. Damn, he needed to remember to take those to recycling one of these days.

  David and Neil were set up leaning against opposite counters. David had his ass propped against the sink and Neil was beside the fridge. Both had their arms folded and were sporting similar frowns.

  "What's up?" he asked.

  "David's being an idiot."

  "Neil's being a tool."

  Well, then. "Okay. What happened after I left?"

  "David won't call Mom and Dad," Neil said to Jonah. He turned back to David. "They're going to be pissed when they fnd out you lied to them but they love you. Just call them, or I will. And we all know it's going to be worse if I have to call them. Mom will get over it quicker if you tell her."

  "I can't tell them!" David threw his hands in the air.

  Sounded like they'd already had this conversation. Jonah wasn't sure if he should stick around or leave again. He hadn't grown up with brothers so he wasn't sure what was the right thing to say. And he couldn't treat David like one of his clients. Well, he could, but he defnitely couldn't treat Neil like that. Hence... he didn't know what to say. Still.

  "You have to tell them. They love you, David. They'll understand about what happened, but Mom for sure is going to be pissed that you lied to her about going out with the boys and fying to Calgary instead with a stolen credit card."

  "She doesn't have anything to do with that. It was your card."

  "Damn it, David. That isn't the point. It's not going to matter to her whose card it is. You told her a lie. She's going to be mad, but she's not going to be mad about the sex thing."

  "You don't know anything. I'm telling you I can't tell my mother that I was beaten up because I was soliciting sex from someone. Jesus Christ, Neil. Get a clue."

  "David—"

  "You don't understand!" David threw his arms up in the air again.

  Neil stepped forward. "No, you don't understand. If I have to drag your ass back home, I will. We're not doing this to Mom. She's not going to get it." His voice was hard.

  "I'm not going home."

  "You're not just mooching off Jonah. You have to go home."

  Jonah fgured he should keep quiet on that one. He really didn't mind David staying but Neil was right. Their parents weren't going to understand why David wouldn't talk to them.

  But, he suddenly had an idea of what he could say. Something about David's statement about not going home triggered a feeling he couldn't let slip.

  Walking out of the room, Jonah opened the basement door. Skipping down the stairs he reached the bottom and looked around. He knew what he was looking for was here somewhere, but he had to think about what box it would be in. The basement was unfnished and he didn't know what to do with it so all it had in it was a washer and dryer and his general storage. At least it made things easy to fnd. Although, a carpet down here really wouldn't hurt. He should think about that.

  He could hear Neil and David's voices from down here and it sounded like things might be getting more tense. Hopefully he'd be able to do something. He just wanted it to work.

  It might be underhanded, but he wasn't above being sneaky right now. David was scared and Jonah understood that. Especially after their talk earlier. But, when push came to shove the Brogans stuck together and Jonah had to have faith that things would work out. If David talked to his parents, that is. Sooner rather than later, too.

  Jonah pushed a few of his boxes to the side, fnally fnding the one he wanted. He opened it up and pulled out a smaller box, grunting at how heavy it was. Carrying it upstairs, he reached the kitchen where the two brothers were still faced off against each other. At least now they'd fallen silent.

  Jonah put the box on the kitchen table, waving David over. "I want to show you something."

  David let out a loud sigh, but he relented and came closer.

  "For years, I never talked to my parents. I know you probably don't know what happened and you may not even care, but I had a big fght with them when I was your age. I was kicked out of the house and that's when I moved here."

  David gasped, clutching his hands to his chest. Neil moved closer to Jonah and put a bracing hand on his shoulder.

  Jonah looked back and smiled at Neil before continuing. "For years, I had no way of talking to my mom. She wouldn't contact me, wouldn't let me contact her. But, she was my mom. You know? She's the one person I wanted to talk to over the years. When good things happened, when things went sour. When I met new people or had challenging times at work or in school. Every time I wanted to talk to her, I sat down at the table and wrote a letter."

  He opened the box. Inside were hundreds of letters. Some of them were on post-it notes, some were several pages thick. It was his life over the past decade. His journals, diaries, whatever you wanted to call them. All addressed to his mom.

  Jonah lifted one at random. He kept his gaze on the box, not wanting to risk looking at either Brogan brother. This was too important, too personal. "These letters are the only way I communicated with my mom for ten years. I couldn't send a single one. Every thought, every fear, every smidge of happiness went into these letters. Everything I wished I could have said to Mom if we hadn't had such a rift between us. And now it's too late to send them. It's too late, David, because she died. She died and I couldn't even tell her how much I missed her. How much I wished things were different, that what happened hadn't happened. I'll never get that back. I'll never be able to talk to her and God knows I can't talk to my dad either. I lost him a long time ago, and I can't see anything healing that rift.

  "What you have... You're lucky. I'm not just saying that. I mean it. You're lucky. Don't give that up because you're scared of how they're going to react."

  David sniffed before drawing in a watery breath. Jonah didn't look behind him, but he hoped David had gotten his point.

  "Where... where's your phone?"

  Jonah fnally turned to face David, silently pointing upstairs. "The bedroom on the right is mine. You can use the phone up there. Close the door if you want some privacy."

  "Okay." David was subdued as he walked away.

  Neil grabbed him from behind. Jonah leaned his head back and blinked rapidly. He didn't want to cry but it hit him again that he couldn't send these letters. He wouldn't ever be able to talk to his mom again. Ever. That ship had sailed and he still didn't know what to do about it.

  "I'm sorry, baby," Neil whispered.

  Jonah nodded. "I know. I just don't want your brother doing anything to jeopardize what he has. Your family... I don't know if you realize how lucky you are to have them."

  Neil tightened his hold. "Oh, trust me. I know. I didn't want to let Mom go when she came home from Holland. I made her cry when I told her I loved her and was grateful for all her support over the years. Her and Dad both. They've always accepted me so I fully realize how lucky I was. I'm just sorry you didn't have the same."

  "I had Rita-Anne. She helped ease some of the pain."

  "I wish I could have been there for you," Neil murmured into his hair. He pressed a kiss to the side of Jonah's head.

  Jonah lifted his hands to hug Neil's arms closer to his body. "You're here now."

  "I am."

  Jonah smiled and gave a fnal sniff. Blowing out a breath, he fgured they might be due a change in topics
. He looked over his shoulder. "So, you two talked?"

  Neil nodded. "Yeah."

  "He told you what happened?"

  Neil released Jonah, grabbing his hand to pull them into the living room. They sat down on the couch.

  "Yeah, he told me. I'm trying not to be pissed that he went to Quebec, and I'm also trying not to be pissed that he doesn't want to press charges. Damn it."

  "I know he made a mistake, but..."

  "He's lucky he's alive. So, I'm not going to harp on it. I just want him to realize there's nothing wrong with him. I mean, okay the submission thing is weird. I don't know if I can get behind that. I'm trying, but it will take time. If that's what he's into... I don't know."