“What would I miss?” she asked, that unexpected anger still bubbling inside of her. “You and I aren’t friends, Daniel. I thought we were, I really did, and for a long time I believed we could have more, but that isn’t true, is it?”
He gave her an uncomfortable look and shoved his hands back into his pockets. “Doll, I don’t -”
“Do not call me doll. I am not a doll or a toy for you to play with at your whim. I am a real person with thoughts and feelings, and I know that you’ve been using my affection for you since we were kids. I know that, Daniel. And I was okay with it, because I loved you and I wanted to be with you so bad that I was willing to take whatever scrap of attention you doled out to me.”
“Kira, I didn’t -”
“But not anymore,” she went on relentlessly. “My eyes are finally open, and I see you for who you are. A selfish guy who used a girl’s crush on him to get what he wanted.”
“That isn’t true,” Daniel said. “I care about you, Kira. I’m sorry that I’m not in love with you the way you want me to be, but I still care about you as a friend.”
“Oh yeah? When’s my birthday, Daniel?”
He hesitated and she made a small bitter laugh. “What’s my favourite colour? When did I learn to drive? How long was I depressed after my parents died?”
He didn’t reply, and she sighed and gave him a look of sorrow and regret. “You don’t know because you didn’t come around much during that time, did you? I couldn’t be the attentive, everything is about Daniel, Kira that you were used to, so you just disappeared. You walked away when I needed support the most.”
She wiped away the tears that were starting to stream down her face. “The worst part? I forgave you for it. I loved you so much that I told myself it didn’t matter that you abandoned me during the worst time of my life. I told myself that not everyone was good with death and with grieving and it didn’t matter because I had Gideon and Grace to take care of me.”
“I’m sorry, Kira.” Daniel’s voice was low, the look on his face one of genuine regret.
“I know you are,” she said. “But it’s too late. I don’t love you anymore and right now? I don’t want to be your friend either. I can’t keep giving and giving and not receiving anything in return. That isn’t how a friendship works. I deserve better than you, Daniel Moore.”
She turned and walked away. Halfway up the porch steps, he called her name. She turned around and studied him in the glow from the street lights.
“I’m sorry, Kira. I really am,” Daniel said.
“I’ll see you around, Daniel.”
Chapter Eighteen
“It’s twenty minutes after your appointment time,” Kira glanced at her watch. “I’m going to go ask the nurse where he is.”
“It’s fine,” Connor said. “Orthopedic specialists are always running late.”
She chewed at her bottom lip and, without thinking, he reached out and caught her hand, linking their fingers together. “He’ll be here soon.”
She smiled at him before staring at their clasped hands. “I’m sorry. I’m supposed to be supporting you in this moment.”
“You are,” he said.
“Yeah, my skyrocketing anxiety must be super helpful for you,” she said.
He smiled and squeezed her hand. “I’m glad you’re here with me.”
“Me too.” She studied his mouth and then looked away, the telltale flush of embarrassment rising in her cheeks.
“I’m sorry about yesterday,” he said. “I ignored you all day and that was really immature of me.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “I upset you.”
“But that’s no excuse,” he said. “I hate when people call me cold, but that’s exactly what I was to you and it wasn’t right. I’m sorry.”
“You’re not cold,” she said. “But apology accepted. Also, I’m sorry for, um, upsetting you Wednesday night. I didn’t mean to.”
“It isn’t your fault that I’m jealous of Daniel. Some fake boyfriend I turned out to be, huh?”
“You don’t have to be jealous of Daniel. I’m not -”
“Dr. MacMillan?” The door opened and a short and stocky man with thinning hair and a goatee bustled into the room. He shook Connor’s hand and then Kira’s before sitting down behind the desk. “Sorry, I’m late. I’ll get right to your results.”
Connor tensed and was grateful when Kira immediately scooted her chair closer and linked her arm around his. He held his breath as the doctor sat back in his chair.
“Good news. Nothing is torn. The MCL and ACL are looking good as is your meniscus.”
Connor blinked at him. “I – what?”
“Everything’s good. Well, other than the bruising and swelling but,” the doctor stood and moved around the desk to crouch in front of Connor, “even that is looking better. He probed a bit at Connor’s knee. Swelling has gone down significantly, I see.”
“Nothing is torn,” Connor said.
The doctor nodded and the weight that had sat in his stomach for a week dropped away. He took a deep breath before staring at Kira. “Nothing is torn.”
“That’s such good news,” she said.
She squeaked in shock when he leaned closer, cupped her face and planted a kiss on her mouth. He pulled back as the doctor stood and returned to his chair.
“I’m going to recommend you wear the brace for at least another few weeks, just to be on the safe side. Keep icing it and on Monday try switching to a cane and see how that works for you. Sound good?”
“Yes,” Connor said. “Can I return to work on Monday?”
“Depends on whether you can sit while you’re filling a cavity or doing a root canal,” the doctor said with a grin.
“I’ll make it work,” Connor said.
“Maybe start off with half-days,” the doctor said.
“Yeah, sure, okay.” He sounded giddy, but hell, he was giddy. His knee wasn’t wrecked.
He glanced at Kira again. Her face was radiating happiness and she gave him a genuinely excited smile. She was nearly as happy as he was about his knee. He studied her face for a moment. God, she was fucking gorgeous and he’d screwed up royally with her. Once his cousin’s wedding was done, she’d walk away, and he’d never get to touch her again.
His hand tightened on hers and worry flickered across her face when she looked at him. “You okay?”
“I’m good,” he said.
“You sure?”
He nodded and she smiled at him. “Let’s get out of here and celebrate.”
* * *
“This doesn’t feel like much of a celebration.” Kira took the empty plates to the dishwasher and loaded them in as Connor collected the empty food containers into a shopping bag and crutched his way to the garbage can. “Is your knee hurting? Is that why we ordered to go instead of going into the restaurant to eat?”
She gave him an anxious look as Connor joined her by the sink, propping his crutches against the counter and leaning his hip on the counter to support his weight. He shook his head. “No, it feels fine. In fact, this is the best it’s felt all week.”
“That’s good,” she said.
Connor was standing so close to her that the heat of his body was making her feel too warm and too aware of the sudden achiness in her lower body. She wanted him so much.
“I’m really happy that your knee is only bruised,” she said.
“Me too.” He was studying her face and she took a step back to avoid standing on her tiptoes and planting one on his mouth.
Disappointment flashed in his eyes as well as regret, and she blurted out the truth. “I’m sorry, I just – I want you a lot and it’s hard to be this close to you without throwing myself at you.”
“I want you too,” he said in a low voice. “It’s all I can think about.”
“Me too,” she whispered.
She shuffled closer and he slid his arm around her waist before bending his head and resting his forehead against hers. He i
nhaled deeply, his warm hand cupping her hip. “I want to sleep with you, I do, but I -”
“I saw Daniel last night,” she said.
He tensed against her, raising his head to study her. “Where?”
“He was waiting outside for me when I got home last night.”
Was it wrong that she got a little thrill from the jealousy that crossed Connor’s face?
“So, he’s stalking you now?”
She shook her head. “No, he just wanted to talk. He was upset because we weren’t hanging out as much.”
His body was now so stiff, it was like hugging a board. “Well, I guess that’s good, right? You want him to be jealous.”
“He was only jealous because I’m not fawning over him anymore,” she said.
He didn’t reply and she rubbed her hand over his chest. “What I said on Wednesday night about only sleeping with you to gain experience? It wasn’t true.”
“No?” His voice was guarded, not quite willing to accept what she was saying yet.
“No, it wasn’t,” she said. “I do think my virginity is special, and maybe that’s silly, but it’s how I feel. It’s important to me and I want to give it to someone who knows that. I want to give it to you because you understand what it means to me and because it’s special to you too.”
“What about Daniel?” he said.
“I don’t want Daniel to have it anymore. In fact, I don’t want Daniel at all.”
“Since when?” he said.
“Since I realized that what I want and need is someone who is interested in me for more than just what I can do for them. Someone who wants to get to know me better, who looks out for me, who makes me laugh and accepts me for who I am. Someone like you, Connor.”
“Kira, I’m not… I’m not always great at being in a relationship. I can be moody sometimes and closed off.”
She shrugged. “I’ve never even been in a serious relationship before. I might suck at it too. I’m a little needy occasionally and I’m still struggling with my parents’ deaths. I take medication for depression and I have twice monthly therapy appointments, but some days are harder than others. I have no idea if I’ll be a good girlfriend or not.”
He pulled her up tight against him and pressed a kiss against her forehead. “You’re a great girlfriend. You can’t expect yourself to be perfect at a relationship, honey.”
She smiled a little. “Neither can you.”
He paused. “I walked right into that, didn’t I?”
“Yep.”
He laughed and kissed her forehead again. “Did we just decide to try dating for real?”
“I think we did,” she said.
The dimple in his cheek made an appearance. “Best day ever.”
“Actually,” she said, “I could think of one more thing that would make it the best day ever.”
“Oh yeah?” The heat in his eyes was making her nipples harden. “What’s that?”
“You and me banging like bunnies,” she said.
He burst into laughter. “So romantic.”
“To quote Gracie – that’s me, romantic as fuck,” Kira said. She took a deep breath. “In all seriousness, I want you to be my first, Connor. If you still want that?”
Connor smoothed her hair back from her face. “I want that so much, little Kira.”
“Then take me to your bed.”
* * *
She should have been nervous, right? She was about to have sex for the first time with the hottest man in Harmony Falls and that should have her filled with anxiety.
Except she wasn’t. Not one bit. Nope, she wasn’t feeling anything but a raging horniness and an almost frantic need to get Connor on the bed and inside of her.
They were standing next to the guest bed and she pulled Connor’s shirt off so roughly that he almost fell on the bed. She grabbed him around the waist. “Sorry, you okay?”
He grinned at her. “Fine. You can slow down, you know. We have all night.”
“Easy for you to say, you’ve had sex before,” she said. “I want to get to the good stuff.”
He laughed and tugged her shirt over her head, dropping it on the floor. “Fair enough. Are you okay with being on top for your first time?”
“Perfectly fine with it.” She pulled his shorts down his legs and then his briefs, making a small sound of excitement when she saw his cock. “Your dick is my new favourite thing.”
He was undoing her bra and she wiggled out of it, tossing it aside before unbuttoning her jeans and shoving them and her panties down her legs. She stepped out of them and kicked them aside. “Lie down on the bed, Connor.”
“Honey, we have plenty of time.” He pulled her close and she rubbed her abdomen against his erection, smiling when he inhaled sharply.
“I want you,” she said.
“I want you too. But I’m not rushing this,” he said.
She pouted at him and he kissed the tip of her nose. “You’re adorable when you pout. Still not rushing it.”
She kissed his chest and he cupped the back of her head, moaning quietly when she sucked on his flat nipple.
“You sure about that?” she said with a small grin.
He reached down and squeezed her ass. “Positive. Do you have any condoms?”
Horror rushed through her and she froze against him. “Shit! Dammit, I don’t have any condoms and I’m not on the pill. Fuck.”
He kissed her into silence before pointing at his wallet on the nightstand. “I’ve got a couple in my wallet.”
“Oh, thank God,” she said.
She wiggled out of his grip and grabbed his wallet, pulling a condom out and setting it on the nightstand as Connor carefully eased onto the bed. He was wearing the brace on his knee and he moved carefully until he was lying on his side facing her. He patted the bed. “Come here, little Kira.”
She eagerly climbed onto the bed, lying on her back beside Connor and staring up at him as he cupped one small breast. She arched her back when he teased her nipple with his thumb, her lower body moving restlessly.
“You’re so beautiful, honey,” he said. He dipped his head and she weaved her fingers into his hair as he licked around her nipple before sucking lightly on it. She closed her eyes, relishing in the feel of his warm mouth and tongue as he tasted and teased both her nipples.
Already she was soaking wet, she could feel liquid dripping down her thighs, and she widened her legs, silently urging him to touch her. Instead of touching her, he lifted his head and rested one heavy hand on her flat stomach, studying her face as she gave him a pleading look.
“Connor, I can’t wait. I really can’t.”
“I want you to come first,” he said before leaning down and pressing his mouth against hers.
As he slipped his tongue into her mouth, he ran his fingers down her stomach and between her legs. He rubbed at her clit as he sucked on her tongue and she clutched at his broad shoulders, kissing him back frantically.
She was so wet that she couldn’t get the friction she needed against her clit. She made a harsh sound of frustration as Connor lifted his head. “Shh, little Kira.”
She didn’t even feel a flicker of embarrassment when Connor used the sheet to wipe away some of her wetness before rubbing his fingers against her clit again. She moaned happily, sparks of pleasure igniting in her belly as Connor touched her with firm circles.
She clutched at his forearm, panting hard and rocking her pelvis against his fingers. He pushed two fingers inside of her, thrusting lightly as he continued to caress her clit with his thumb. He bent his head and sucked hard on her nipple.
She cried out and arched her back, staring sightlessly at the ceiling as the pleasure of her orgasm overtook her in slow, sweet waves. Connor touched her lightly, rubbing the wet lips of her pussy and avoiding her oversensitive clit as she turned her head and buried her face in his throat.
She pressed a kiss against his skin, and he stroked her inner thighs. “That sounded like a good one.”
“Hmmm.” She reached out blindly for his cock, smiling when her fingers brushed against the head and he moaned low in his throat.
She wrapped her fingers around him and stroked him, loving the way his body trembled against hers, the way the low groans of pleasure slipped from his mouth.
She lifted her head and pressed a kiss against his chin before releasing him and reaching for the condom. He carefully moved to his back and she handed the condom to him and then eased a pillow under his right knee.
“Thank you,” he said.
She nodded and watched as he opened the condom and rolled it down over his cock. When it was in place, she knelt beside him and gave him a tentative look. “Ready?”
“Yes, are you?” he asked.
“Unbelievably ready,” she said.
A smile crossed his face and he patted his stomach. “Well hop on then, cowgirl.”
She giggled and straddled him, being careful not to bump his right knee. She could feel his cock pressing against her clit and she rubbed a bit experimentally. Connor moaned and she grinned at him. “I think I’m really going to like being on top.”
He cupped her small breasts, flicking at her taut nipples with his thumbs. “I know I’m definitely enjoying it.”
“Okay, here we go,” she said.
She supposed that wasn’t a very romantic thing to say but Connor just smiled at her and reached between her legs to lightly rub her clit. “Go slow, honey. Take your time and if it hurts, don’t feel like you have to keep going. We can stop as many times as you need.”
She nodded and, feeling a little awkward, rose up on her knees, bracing one hand on Connor’s chest. He put both hands on her hips and lifted her a little. She reached down and grasped his cock, guiding it to her pussy and pressing it against her entrance. The head slipped in and she bit her lip at the new sensation.
“Okay?” His voice trembled with need, but his hands were steady as he gripped her hips.
“Yes,” she whispered. She took a deep breath and lowered her body in a smooth motion. His cock slid into her, there was a brief intense pop of pain and then she was sitting on top of him, her pussy full of his cock and her knees digging into his ribs.
Sweet Harmony (Harmony Falls, Book One) Page 22
