Finding Serenity in Seasons of Stress

by Candy Paull

  During this moment of nature’s emergence, the measuring Chronos mind transforms into the limitless Kairos spirit. When this happens, creative insight catches us unaware, shocking us with the delight of unexpected truth and essence shining through the ordinary and familiar, allowing us to see that every moment, every being, every situation is extraordinary, one of a kind, always new and fresh, a gift from God to be appreciated and accepted with gratitude.

  Accepting Your Newfound Awareness

  Within this kind of insight, the very essence of reality, all that is and was and will be, is allowed to emerge, opening us to possibilities unseen, unheard, unappreciated when we were locked in the way we thought things were. We have created space for God to walk into the room; we have split the atom and a powerful energy has been released. It does not take mystical visions and out-of-body experiences to touch this reality beneath the world we know. It is always there, waiting in the ordinary moments if you have the eyes to see and the ears to hear. It will speak to you, unveiling the magnificent potential hidden in the heart of time and space, and hidden in the heart of your whole being. You are in touch with dimensions deeper than you ever knew existed. Thus, every condition, every thing, and every person you encounter all become more “real” than ever before, just with this awakened observation and acceptance.

  Accepting awareness and nonresistance awakens slumbering powers that you miss when you are caught in the trance of abstraction and resistance. Everything in the universe has led up to this moment. You are part of the whole. Your acceptance or rejection of this moment is your acceptance or rejection of the whole. Acceptance becomes the flap of a butterfly wing that can create a vortex of cause and effect to spin into chaos, creating a storm on the other side of the planet. It is a subtle influence but a “real” potential for transformation waiting to be unleashed.

  No matter your situation in this moment—whether it be pain or pleasure—you can choose to harmonize with the underlying deep essence of life itself, or you can continue to fight what is and lock yourself into your limited perception. Your habitual mind will want to stay in a trance of old thoughts and comfortable definitions. It is easy to dismiss the subtle influence of this new awareness because very few people are willing to do the work to change their awareness. Yet if you are willing to walk the “narrow way” that leads to life, a world of possibilities awaits. There is a greater reality waiting for you, an adventure to discover subtle essences and potentialities that will reward your willingness to explore. Trade your maps and charts for the actual territory. You will be amazed by what a simple moment of awareness will offer, and what an open mind will reveal.

  Transformation comes moment by moment, and you can never predict what a moment will become. It is always your experience, something that cannot be contained in human explanations but only known in your heart, your soul, and your body. It is simple, subtle, and without need for fanfare or Hollywood special effects. As you develop sensitivity and an awareness of subtle realities by training yourself to live fully in the moment, you’ll discover new frontiers of growth and possibility.

  No words can describe this understanding, but when you recognize it, you will realize that you have always known this to be true; you knew it as a child gazing up at the stars with wonder. You find it in the heart of a rose, its petals unfolding like galaxies whirling through time and space. You see it in the eyes of a beloved, in the birth of a child, in appreciation of an artist’s creation. You have felt it in the purr of a kitten, the playful puppy’s enthusiasm, and a laughing child’s unself-conscious joy. You hear it in symphonies and in the sigh of the wind in the trees. You smell it when the rain has washed the world clean, and taste it in the sweet, savory flavors of life. By accepting the moment and becoming aware of its essence, you turn on the radar that navigates its way to the hidden heart of everything that is.

  Accept that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it is. Recognize that you can choose the way you are in this moment—open to harmony and flow, or resistant and unable to change. Locked in Chronos or expansive in Kairos. Meditation is a practice that helps you release all preconceived notions and opinions, freeing you from your armor of fear, anger, and judgment. Mindfulness in the moment is your training in awareness and your point of creative power for transformation. Things may not be as you wish they could be, but they are more than you imagine.

  Practicing Meditation

  Meditation practice helps move you into stillness. Stillness is about being fully in the moment, in total harmony with yourself and with the world around you. A simple and ongoing commitment to meditate for fifteen to twenty minutes a day—or even five or ten when pressed for time—can be a gentle tool for transformation. Expand your meditation time to an hour and you will go even deeper into serenity and aliveness. As you learn to still your mind and body, you ease yourself out of time-bound restrictions and reactions into the peace and beauty of the eternal here and forever now.

  Meditation has nothing to do with quiet reverie or passive stillness, but with attentive wakefulness. We awaken to our nearness to God. We realize that the power of creation, the energy of creation, flows in our hearts.

  —John Main

  Regular meditation practice trains your mind through breathing exercises and bodily postures. The more meditation you do, the more your body memorizes the feeling of peace and stillness, and the more your mind responds to and benefits from it. You become more aware of your tension and stress. As you learn to observe your own reactions, you begin to realize that you always have a choice in every situation. You may not be able to change the outward situation, but you can choose how you will react to it. Practicing stillness gives you a quiet center from which to observe outward activity.

  Indian sage Jiddu Krishnamurti describes the process: “Have you ever sat very silently, not with your attention fixed on anything, not making an effort to concentrate, but with the mind very quiet, really still?… If you can listen in this way, listen with ease, without strain, you will find an extraordinary change taking place within you, a change which comes without your volition, without your asking; and in that change there is great beauty and depth of insight.”

  There are many avenues for learning how to move into stillness. Yoga, aikido, and tai chi offer movement meditation. Sitting meditation offers another avenue for practice. You can find a method that is suitable for your temperament and circumstances, from simply taking regular walks to studying formal sitting meditation with a teacher. Set your intention to make meditation a part of your life and you will be guided to the practice that works for you. Resources are listed at the end of this book to help you begin your explorations.

  We are energetic beings. We can make choices about what we do with the energies available to us. Practicing stillness allows energy to flow without blocks, tension, or restriction. The energy of the life force is always available, and practice helps you move beyond the inner conflicts that restrict the flow of energy through you. Breathing and physical postures teach your body to become a clearer conduit for the energy. Meditation teaches you how to still the chatter of “monkey mind” (those thoughts that distract and demand with constant inner noise) and become an open channel for this abundant life force.

  Breathing in I calm my body.

  Breathing out, I smile.

  Dwelling in the present moment

  I know this is the only moment.

  —Thich Nhat Hanh

  Stillness is the power of being totally here and now, in the moment, with your entire being. You carry this stillness within your heart. When you are not wholeheartedly in the moment, you tend to be distracted, wanting to be in more than one place at a time. Stillness comes when you give undivided attention to what is, allowing you to experience an exquisite deep peace that helps you relax inside and move into harmony with your heart. Learning to enter the silence is a skill that can be learned and practiced. Patience and commitment are necessary. The skills are develope
d over time, but the rewards are worth the discipline.

  Becoming still allows you to experience the life force moving through you and to tap into the essence of your own being. When you are in a place of stillness, everything becomes clear, and you gain a more detached and higher perspective of whatever situation you are experiencing in that moment. As muddy water in a glass settles and clears with patient waiting, so your mind and emotions can settle and clarify when you choose to practice inner stillness. Choosing to focus on the moment with quiet awareness, you are more able to respond appropriately and make fully conscious choices instead of allowing yourself to be driven by unconscious forces. Practicing stillness prepares you to pay attention and observe your own life.

  Try this exercise to get a sense of stillness in the moment. Concentrate on a flower, a sunset, or an ordinary natural object like a stone or a tree. Just allow your eyes to notice, to be present with an unfolding rose, the colors of a changing sky, or the hard beauties of a stone held in your hand. Just be with it. No stories, no judgments. Just observe. Just be. Breathe deeply, relax into the moment. Let the flower, sunset, stone, tree speak to you about your own nature, your own situation today.

  Do not judge your ability to stay still. Just set an intention and then observe. At first your mind will resist and you will be tempted to give up, to call yourself a failure. It is not your job to judge. Keep coming back to center. Be willing to stay the course and work with this as you would learn a martial art or master an instrument. Allow your experience to be what it is without expectation. You are not reaching for some ethereal high. You are merely experimenting and seeing what happens. Your skill at slowing down and stilling your mind will grow over time with discipline.

  As you become clearer and quieter inside during your meditation practice, you’ll become more and more able to bring that stillness and inner certainty into your daily life. Though you may be sitting in a traffic jam, you can choose to practice the stillness and serenity of a lakeside sunset within your mind. Though the day is filled with many tasks, you can find clarity and peace as you focus on one task at a time, one moment at a time. Quiet your heart in stillness and remember who you are.

  Activity: Eat an Orange

  Simply eating an orange can be an exercise in mindfulness through learning to focus on the moment. Take an orange in your hand. Hold its golden goodness, feel the texture of its skin, the form of its roundness. Smell the tart orangeyness of the rind as you peel it, slowly and with awareness. Take one single section of the orange, feel its soft, liquid, gelatinous texture encased in a thin membrane. Eat this one section slowly, holding it in your mouth, savoring its taste and texture. Become aware of the sensuous interconnectedness of all things. You are now connecting to all the people who brought this fruit to you: the farmer who cultivates the trees, the worker who picked the orange, the trucker who transported it to the store where you bought it, the clerk who sold it to you, and so on. Not only that, the orange you eat today connects you to history—ideas and choices made by earlier generations. Imagine the landowner who planted the first orange trees on his California farm more than a hundred years ago. Now his great-grandchildren run the farm he started, growing the same kind of orange trees and touching the lives of people today. That grandfather’s life and yours now touch. As you can see, the orange nourishes you so that you may nourish other hearts, as well as your own. Give thanks for the wonder of life contained in the circle of the orange.

  Three Affirmations

  I take each moment as it comes.

  Breathing in, I receive what I need. Breathing out, I release that which no longer serves me.

  I focus my attention on progress, releasing the need for perfection.

  Your work really begins when you release the struggle. To let go of struggle initiates a change of vibration within you. This change puts you in touch with the flow of Life Itself, which is essentially what you are. To cultivate your awareness of this flow is your real work.

  —Swami Chetanananda

  If we could just be, we would be able to relax from the anxiety of becoming something we are not, getting something we don’t have, and trying to shape reality according to our own desires.

  —Kabir Edmund Helminski

  I have worked several full-time temporary jobs in the last few years. One of my most inspiring assignments was in an academic department at a local university. It was exciting, exhausting, and, most of the time, fun. I took great pleasure in helping students and faculty. A day might include assigning an advisor to a bright and radiant young undergrad, setting up a conference room and paperwork for a grad student presentation, attending a staff meeting, working with student records, and learning a new computer program to facilitate university applications. I might talk with a faculty member about a student issue, have a serious meeting with my supervisor, or just educate myself on the ways of the academic world. Then there were all those e-mails and phone calls. It was busy all the time, with so much to learn. I would go home a bit high on the energy of the day. Still, after an evening of e-mails and catching up on my personal life, early to bed was the only way to get enough rest to face the next day. By the end of the week, no matter how much I enjoyed the job or how early I went to bed (not always early enough, that’s for sure!), I was exhausted.

  Create a Sabbath Time

  The routine offered an opportunity for me to make a simple but life-changing decision. I decided to take Saturdays as a Sabbath. I would not look at e-mails, answer the phone, or do anything I didn’t want to do. I would sleep in, and if I needed to stay in bed all day, that’s what I would do. I love reading and was exploring the writings of Ralph Waldo Emerson at the time. After one particularly quiet Saturday indulging in the bliss of reading, I joked with friends that Ralph was really good in bed.

  The entire day was spent responsibility-free. Grocery shopping and errands were saved for after work or church. I might take a walk, have some quiet fun (and maybe do a bit of laundry, since that could practically take care of itself), or just daydream and stare out the window. I spent most of the time alone, even though I love my friends. After being with people all week, I needed the nurturing silence of solitude. And by the end of my Sabbath day, I felt my spirits rise again so that when Monday came around, I was ready to bring my best energies back to my day job and to the people I served.

  As a single woman with no family obligations, this luxury was possible. I realize that many people may not have that same ability to set aside an entire Sabbath day, but I have also come to realize that we often think we are more indispensable than we really are. Often we feel guilty about spending too much time on our own needs and interests when there is no reason but our own excuses not to. An entire day of rest can often feel like a mad extravagance or hedonistic indulgence.

  Even though I have lived for many years as a single freelancer with the ability to choose how I use my time, I have often lived as if my time were not my own, feeling a vague sense of guilt if I wasn’t accomplishing something or being “useful.” Yet I found that this sweet, sacred Sabbath day was rich in being instead of doing, free of guilt because I had fulfilled my clearly defined day-job tasks and hours. I also found I was more productive in my workweek if I took the time off. There is a good reason to set aside a day of rest, even if you don’t feel the ancient biblical imperative to observe the Sabbath in this modern day and age. Yet even a secular quiet day nourishes body and soul in a way that no other practice can offer.

  Give Yourself a Bouquet

  There are all kinds of sensible choices you can make to take care of yourself. But there is something so delightfully enchanting about treating yourself to fresh flowers. They are not useful in a utilitarian sense, but they feed the soul’s desire for beauty. Stop at a flower stand and buy a bouquet. Gather wildflowers from the side of the road and enjoy nature’s bounty. Pluck a single flower from your garden and enjoy its beauty in an elegant vase.

  Because I had the structure of a day job, I bui
lt on that structure to set aside a Sabbath day; something I had never done in all my years of freelance work. Day jobs are by nature sectioned into hours and tasks, but freelancing is more fluid, and it became easy for me to let work overflow into every corner of my life. I really felt like I had no time off, because the boundaries between work and down time were blurred by the freelance life. By giving myself permission to rest and setting a sacred boundary of time to do so, I was freeing myself in a way I had never before allowed. I was surprised by the liberating results and have kept some form of weekly time of rest to this day, no matter the structure of my workweek. A Sabbath is healing on many levels and a worthwhile experiment for frazzled people.

  Because I took a day of rest once a week, I was better able to bring my best self to my church community on Sunday, and was much more effective during the workweek. I had greater clarity and a better perspective on life. If I had an obligation—even a pleasant one—that had to be fulfilled on Saturday, I saw the difference in my energies and never felt as rested or ready for the week. By choosing to set aside a day of rest, I was choosing to love, honor, and cherish myself.

  I was also choosing to trust that God would be my Source (and Source for all people), instead of allowing guilt to drive me into an endless round of anxious and wearying tasks. The Sabbath allowed me for one day a week to be a human being instead of a human doing—running on an endless treadmill of obligation and stress. A Sabbath is like a tithe of time, acknowledging that we may do our part, but when we rest, we are saying that we trust God to run the universe, to take care of everything—including the things we wish we could do but are too finite to accomplish. There is great relief when we finally acknowledge that we are not indispensable. It is a way to say yes by saying no more.