Beyond a Reasonable Donut

by Ginger Bolton

  Misty’s, Samantha’s, and my parents attended the rehearsal dinner. Scott was there, but Brent wasn’t, and Hooligan had no family present. The food was delicious, and the restaurant staff were wonderful. Downplaying my part, I filled my parents in on the capture of Zippy Melwyn’s murderer. My parents didn’t seem surprised that I had come through the experience unscathed except for a few bruises on my arms, courtesy of Alf and the two elderly gentlemen who had tried to protect Alf from wayward silver-platter-wielding women.

  My mother was understandably more concerned about Nina than about me. “Will Nina be freed?”

  “I hope she already has been.” Nina hadn’t called me, though. I pictured her falling into my guest bed and staying there for days. Or, knowing her, she’d gone to work with Tom and Jocelyn. And then she’d fallen into bed.

  * * *

  The weather the next day was everything that Hooligan and Samantha could have wanted. It was sunny and warm without being hot. Misty, Samantha, and I dressed in shorts and T-shirts, ate brunch, and sat on the front porch savoring our Kona coffee. Dep stayed inside the cabin. She seemed to have decided it was nice and homey, after all.

  In a large, open-sided white tent on the lawn sloping down toward the beach in front of us, people from the chair-rental company were setting up chairs facing the lake. They were leaving a nice, wide aisle between the two sections. A woman set a podium in front of the aisle.

  Another woman carried an armful of flowers toward the tent. She was tall and thin, and wearing the Deputy Donut uniform of black jeans and a white polo shirt.

  Samantha, Misty, and I shouted, “Nina!”

  We plunked our mugs down on the wide arms of our Adirondack chairs and raced barefoot toward the tent. Nina set the flowers down and met us halfway. There was a lot of whooping and hugging.

  Nina looked thinner than ever. I asked her, “Are you okay?”

  “Sure. Brent took me to your place. I made myself at home. It was just what I needed. Thank you.”

  I asked, “How did you get here?”

  “Brent offered to bring me, but I caught a ride with the florist. Let me go finish the decorating, then I’ll come up and help you all get ready. Is it still okay if I change in your cabin? My dress is in the florist’s van.”

  Samantha gave her another hug. “Of course it’s okay.”

  Misty added, “We’re happy you’re here!”

  I brushed tears out of my eyes.

  Nina was almost her old, bubbly self. “Samantha, don’t you dare look toward that tent again until you’re ready to walk down the aisle.”

  “Okay.”

  After she finished with the flowers, Nina brought her dress and shoes into the cabin, and we all did each other’s hair and makeup. Samantha had left her hair its natural shiny brown. I asked Nina, “Did you call Mr. Arthurs?”

  “Yes, and the show will go on as planned. Not only that, Mr. Arthurs said it could be the most successful show he’s ever mounted. Art museums and collectors around the world are asking about me and my work. And no one has even seen a picture of the big painting, which is my favorite ever, or was before sugar landed on it. Brent says I can go back to my loft in a couple of days. I’ll get that painting finished in time to ship it.”

  We all congratulated her.

  Samantha nearly bubbled over. “We’ll celebrate your big success today, too.”

  Nina made a regretful face. “I should have waited to tell you. This is your day, Samantha, and Hooligan’s, not mine. And maybe none of those collectors will end up buying. We’ll celebrate when they do.”

  I slid my feet into my shoes. “We sure will! Nina, at the carnival, did you know who the mime was?”

  “No. I didn’t recognize her until I saw you trying to save her in my apartment. I hadn’t seen her since she was about thirteen, and I had decided then that I never wanted to see her again. I’m sorry I implied that she’d stolen that locket on Friday. She must have taken it when she was a teenager and I was still a kid.”

  Misty asked her, “Why didn’t you tell us that at first?”

  Nina let out a tremulous breath. “I was so shaken up by the whole thing, her showing up and causing me trouble again, that I just didn’t think about making everything clear, and then it seemed too late and maybe like it didn’t matter.”

  I pinned a flower in Misty’s hair. “Who wrote that coded address that I found in your locket?”

  “She must have. I’m sorry to say that both times I encountered her, she was not a nice person.”

  Misty told Nina, “We figured that out. She kicked her much younger roommate out of their shared apartment. Her ex-roommate is an artist. Zippy painted over the roommate’s name, signed the paintings herself, and tried to interest the Arthurs Gallery in them.”

  Nina released the last of Samantha’s curls from the curling iron. “That all sounds like her.”

  Misty asked her, “Did you ever meet another cousin named Alphaeus Chator, Alf for short?”

  Nina settled Samantha’s veil over Samantha’s curls. “Not until early yesterday morning. I didn’t exactly meet him. I saw him being taken to another cell, and I heard him shouting. He’s going to sue all of you Fallingbrook police officers, plus Detective Gartborg, Emily, and even Rodeo Rod, that rodeo performer we met at the carnival.”

  “Rodeo Rod came to Deputy Donut looking for you,” I told her.

  She blushed.

  I added, “But don’t get excited about it. He has since met the artist who was Zippy’s roommate.”

  Nina twitched Samantha’s veil into place. “I’m not excited about it. He probably has a sweetheart in every town.”

  “Thanks to Alf, we found out your real name,” I told her. “Are you going to invite your parents to your opening?”

  “No. I’m Nina Lapeer, and I’m happy the way I am, working at Deputy Donut, making friends in Fallingbrook, and painting.”

  “What if you become really famous?”

  She didn’t look up from buckling her sparkly sandals. “I’ll be proud that I made it on my own and not because of my parents’ famous last name. I’ll be the person I want to be. And now that person is about to go to the wedding of the world’s best bride and groom.” She picked Dep up, held her away from her pretty green silk dress, gave the cat a kiss on the nose, and set her down. “See you all in a few minutes.” She ran outside, followed by our shouted thanks.

  Carrying the bouquets that Nina had designed and wearing the powder blue gowns that Samantha had chosen to go with our eyes, Misty and I went out onto the porch and held the doors open for Samantha. Her parents were waiting for her on the front porch. Samantha was so radiant in her white gown and her parents were so solicitous, loving, and close to tears that my own eyes filmed over.

  In front of us, guests sat facing the water, and the aisle seats were decorated with beribboned swags of flowers.

  The string quartet started the processional. I carefully made my way down the steps, past the row of trees, and across the grassy space to the tent. Hooligan and the minister and Hooligan’s groomsmen were all smiling. People turned around in their seats, and I smiled, too.

  I arrived in front, turned around, and watched Misty. I hoped that Scott, on the other side of the podium, noticed how perfectly elegant, despite the damply sparkling eyes, she was.

  Samantha walked down the aisle between her parents. As far as I could tell, she never took her eyes off Hooligan.

  Misty’s and my parents sat together near the front. My mother passed Misty’s mother a box of tissues. Misty’s mother took one and handed the box back to my mother. I scanned the audience. I saw plenty of Hooligan’s friends, but again, it seemed that none of his family had attended, and I wondered if he, like Nina, had a sad story he was hiding.

  When I thought it was time for the minister to say Hooligan’s name, I leaned slightly toward the couple.

  The minister smiled at the congregation. “I’ve known Hooligan Houlihan since we were in first
grade. I made the mistake, way back then, of announcing his real name in public. I earned a broken nose and two black eyes. Hooligan earned his nickname, and I learned a lesson. Hooligan and I have been good friends ever since. I have not spoken his birth name in public from that day to this. And now we come to one of the most important days in my good friend’s life. Today . . .” He paused dramatically.

  I held my breath.

  “Today,” he went on, “is no different. While I know that my longtime friend will not punch me in the face, I will continue to keep my promise to a scrappy six-year-old. I assure you all, and especially Samantha, that Hooligan is not an interloper. He is who he says he is.” The minister held a card in front of Hooligan and Samantha where only they could see it. “Do you, Hooligan Houlihan, also known as”—the minister pointed at the card—“take Samantha Quinn Andersen to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

  Hooligan’s voice rang out. “I do.”

  The minister tucked the card into his shirt pocket. When it was time to ask Samantha a similar question, the minister referred to Hooligan as “this man.”

  “I do,” she said.

  I glanced out over the congregation. Brent was peering around the man in front of him. His eyes warm, he focused on me. Nina was sitting beside him.

  I wasn’t sure I had ever smiled a bigger smile.

  Brent winked and echoed the look on my face.

  I decided to keep my eyes open for a match for the beautiful detective with the perfect teenaged sons and the perfectly goofy puppy. She deserved someone wonderful.

  But not quite as wonderful as Brent.

  He and I kept smiling at each other as I followed Hooligan and Samantha toward the back of the congregation.

  Some day, I promised myself, we would discover Hooligan’s first name.

  I wasn’t the only one.

  When Nina reached me in the receiving line, she hugged me, and then backed up and pointed at the minister, whose shirt pocket might still contain the card with Hooligan’s real name on it. With a perfectly straight face, she asked me, “Where’s a pickpocket when we really need one?”

  RECIPES

  Corny Fritters

  1 cup all-purpose flour

  1 teaspoon baking powder

  ½ teaspoon salt

  2 eggs, beaten

  ¼ cup less 1 tablespoon milk

  ½ cup corn kernels—fresh, frozen, or canned. If using frozen, thaw first, then drain and pat dry on paper towels. If using canned, drain and pat dry with paper towels.

  1 teaspoon (or to taste) sweet smoked paprika for regular corny fritters

  or

  1 teaspoon (or to taste) whole black peppercorns for pepper- corny fritters

  or

  ¼ teaspoon (or to taste) powdered ancho or other hot chiles

  for turbo-charged spicy corny fritters

  Vegetable oil with a smoke point of 400 degrees F or higher (or follow your deep fryer’s instruction manual)

  Optional:

  Granulated sugar

  or

  Confectioners’ sugar

  Sift the flour with the baking powder and salt.

  Stir in eggs, milk, corn kernels, and paprika, peppercorns, or powdered chile until blended.

  When oil reaches 370 degrees F, drop batter by spoonfuls into the oil without crowding them. Fry until both sides are golden, approximately 1 minute per side, turning once. Lift basket to drain, then drain fritters on paper towels.

  While still warm, roll in sugar (if desired) and serve with guacamole (below) and/or sour cream.

  Guacamole

  1 ripe avocado

  juice and zest from one lime

  2 cloves garlic, minced

  3 grape or cherry tomatoes, chopped

  Optional:

  dash chili powder

  Peel avocado and remove stone. Mash avocado flesh with a fork.

  Stir in the lime juice, zest, garlic, tomatoes, and chili powder (if using).

  Cover tightly to prevent avocado from oxidizing and turning brown. Don’t worry if it does. It will still be delicious.

  Sherried Mushroom Soup

  ¼ cup salted butter

  3 cups sliced fresh button mushrooms

  1 quart chicken or vegetable broth

  3 tablespoons dry sherry

  sour cream

  4 sliced green onions

  salt and pepper

  Melt the butter in a heavy-bottomed pot.

  Sauté mushrooms in the butter until they’re golden.

  Add the broth and heat to almost boiling.

  Remove from heat.

  Allow to cool slightly.

  Stir in sherry.

  Serve immediately in bowls with a dollop of sour cream and a sprinkling of sliced green onions. Salt and pepper to taste.

  Serves 3–4 people. You can also make this recipe in large quantities and keep it warm in a slow cooker.