by Kira Adams
It is a beautiful May afternoon. The sun is shining brightly upon the world, and the breeze is soft and gentle. “I forgot how beautiful this place is,” I murmur to Parker as I nestle my head into his neck.
Silver Creek Falls is a state park located about twenty-five miles from our hometown, Salem, Oregon. The Trail of Ten Falls is definitely the main attraction, leading hikers through stunning trails to even more breathtaking waterfalls.
“I have a surprise for you.” He gently pushes me away so he can look down into my eyes.
“You do?” I ask, my eyes lighting up with excitement. “What is it?”
“Wait here,” Parker responds as he walks to the back of the car and opens the trunk. Just as his head emerges from inside it, a huge grin breaks out on his face. “Close your eyes.”
I pout. As much as I love surprises, I hate the anticipation that leads up to them.
Parker laughs in response and then says, “I promise it will all be worth it in the end.” I comply, knowing I should trust him. He is, after all, the person I love most in the world, and we have been through hell and back together.
I shiver as I feel his hands softly sweep my hair off my neck, and then again as a cold chain is locked around it.
“You can open them now,” Parker whispers as his hands leave my neck.
I slowly open my eyes, and a beautiful gold locket comes into view. “Parker, you didn’t,” I whisper, amazed by its intricate beauty. I open the locket to find a picture of us in it. “Oh my God, it’s beautiful.” I look up to show him how much I really love it.
“Turn it around,” Parker instructs, inching toward me, gesturing to the back of the locket.
I turn it over and there it is: an engraving. “Will you read it to me?” I want to hear him say it, in a way, so I can understand why he chose it.
“It reads, ‘Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.’”
I swallow, deeply touched. “Who wrote that?”
“Aristotle. He was a smart man.” Parker laughs then touches my neck where the necklace lies. “I love you, babe.”
“Oh, Parker, I love you so much.” I quickly throw my arms around his neck and press my lips to his. “You always know how to make everything better,” I say, peppering kisses between my words.
It was a great idea to come to the falls, and it really does take my mind off everything. Between all the hiking, kissing, swimming, and picture taking, I really allow myself to enjoy the day, because I know, as soon as I return home, reality will set in. And before I know it, we are driving back, the falls merely an image out the back window of Parker’s truck.
21
Our bodies have never been more in sync. It’s as if we are engaged in a passionate tango—the bedroom kind.
My parents are out at the Saturday farmer’s market, and Madalynne and I have the house to ourselves. Our breathing is on point, matching up perfectly. We are rolling back and forth, back and forth on my bed, our legs entangled in one another’s.
“Why can’t every day be like this?” Madalynne murmurs lovingly into my ear.
“Why can’t it?” I grin back at her.
“Don’t tempt me, mister!” She pokes me playfully in the chest and then kisses me passionately.
I deepen the kiss by pulling her in closer. I trail my finger down her face until she takes it into her mouth, lightly sucking and biting on it, driving me wild. Quickly, I pull her up and remove her tank top. She is left in her nude bra and shorts. My lips explore her neck from the bottom of her earlobe to her shoulder blade. It drives her all sorts of crazy. She reaches for my shirt, tugging at it. Her hands come at me softly, delicately. She runs them all over my chest, my back. I suck on her earlobe, nibbling every so often, watching her squirm.
“What if your parents come home?” Maddy asks suddenly, pulling away and looking around wildly.
“They won’t, I promise. Do you trust me?”
She nods innocently. We are now grinding quite heavily upon each other’s half-naked bodies, getting me hotter by the moment.
“Take your shorts off,” I suggest, nodding toward her shorts with my head.
“Okay.” She complies, standing up and removing them swiftly. She is wearing bright teal lacy undies.
I smile back at her, taking in the sight.
“What?”
“You’re not matching…I thought it was a rule for girls to have matching bra and undies?” I ask naively.
“Well I’m a rebel,” Madalynne replies and then pulls me in for a sweet kiss.
I reach for her bra clasps then swear I hear the front door shutting.
“What was that?” Madalynne asks, confirming my suspicion.
“It can’t be my parents…” I whisper, jumping up out of bed and handing Madalynne her clothes.
Quickly she throws her tank top over her head and buttons her shorts. I follow suit by throwing my t-shirt on.
“Parker?” The familiar voice of my uncle echoes through the house.
I haven’t seen him since a few weeks after I was released from the hospital. I think he felt too guilty after the accident. I’m sure he blamed himself for coaxing me out there. Jack is more like an older brother to me than an uncle. How could I hold a grudge? I can’t. I don’t want to. Jack didn’t make me get behind the wheel of that race car that fateful day—I made that decision. I paid the price.
I open my door and peek my head out. “Jack, we’re up here!”
I’m still hot and bothered by my steamy make-out session with Madalynne, but we are in no rush, and I like it that way.
“Hand me the wrench, will ya?” my father asks me. It is a beautiful Sunday in spring and my father and I have been outside all day working on my beast of a car. She isn’t the prettiest girl in the room per se, but I love her nonetheless. Francesca is…vintage. What else would you call a 1972 Nova with plenty of rust beauty marks? But she has been good to me all these years, so I never lose faith in her.
“Only a few more weeks of school then, eh?” he asks from beneath the hood.
I nod before catching myself. “Yeah.”
“And then what?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know…get a job?”
He sighs loudly in response to my answer.
“What is it, Pop?” I ask, irritated.
He pokes his head out from beneath the hood, staring me down intently. “I know we’ve been avoiding this subject since…since, well, Mason. But I think you need to really contemplate the option of joining the military. They would pay for your schooling if you ever changed your mind and decided to attend college for a degree. You would get to travel. It would be new experiences.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?” I joke to clear a bit of the tension hanging in the air.
Before he has the chance to answer, my mother comes strolling outside carrying two cups of lemonade. “Thirsty?” she asks as she hands us each our own.
“Thanks Mom,” I say, taking a long gulp of the sweet liquid. “Mmmm.”
My mother’s eyes brighten at my reaction. “I think I finally figured out the right amount of sugar!”
“I think you did, honey,” my father says encouragingly.
“Why don’t you two take a break?” she suggests. “You’ve been working at this all day.”
My father glances at his watch. “You’re right, I hadn’t realized it was past five. That’s enough for today. At least you now have a working air conditioner and we fixed your brakes and put on new windshield wipers. We can get to the rest another day.”
I nod. “Thanks for the help, Pop.”
He smiles warmly. “Come on, let’s go inside and help your mother get ready for dinner. We have a big discussion ahead of us.”
I sigh. “Yes sir…” Thinking about my future always leaves me feeling conflicted. It’s hard to imagine a life without Maddy…but there are things I want to do, places I want to see, people I want to meet that she won’t agree with. And even if she d
oes forgive me for following my heart, I’m not sure we could withstand the necessary time apart now that we have found our way back to one another.
I trudge into my house behind my father, not looking forward to the upcoming conversation.
“I don’t know, man. Lately the idea of getting out of Dodge has been appealing.”
“Okay, but where would you go?” Dylan has always been impulsive since we were little. It’s always been part of my job duty to talk sense into him.
He grabs two 20-lb. dumbbells and takes a spot on a nearby bench. Normally we work out every week night, but now that we are seniors, we have more free time during the day.
“I’ve been thinking maybe law isn’t for me.” He pumps the weight above his head like he didn’t just drop a bomb.
“Are you serious?” I ask, dumbfounded, frozen with weights above my head.
He nods, standing and placing his dumbbells on the ground.
“Is this about Kenton?” I ask, lowering my arms.
He shakes his head. “No. This is about me. Being a lawyer has always been my dad’s dream. Lately I’ve been thinking about what would make me happy.”
“And what do you think that is?”
He positions himself under the barbell and motions for me to spot him. “I think I need a change of pace, a change of scenery.”
“And what does that look like to you?”
He grabs the bar and begins doing reps. “It means getting far away from here.”
“If you’re not in law, what would you do?”
After ten reps, he hands me the bar to place back. “Well, the last few semesters I took coding classes, and part of me has been thinking about getting into graphic and web design.”
His answer surprises me. “Good for you, Dylan. It’s important to make time for the things that matter.”
In a way it will suck if and when he moves, but on the other hand, it will give me a buddy to visit for vacations.
“Well, whatever you choose, I’m there for ya, man.”
22
I’m walking down the hall at school Monday morning alongside Kendall when we spot Parker.
“Hey, babe,” he greets me, before kissing me softly.
“Hey, baby,” I reply, throwing my arms around his strong body. I love the feeling of being in his arms, like he will protect me from anything. He really is my knight in shining armor, and I savor every moment we have together.
“So, what do you guys think? Mongolian Grill for lunch?” Parker suggests.
Kendall and I both glance at each other, grinning ear to ear. “Why of course, fine sir,” Kendall says, replying for the both of us.
“Now that we got lunch situated, what’s the plan for this weekend? Beach? Bonfire?”
“Actually, my parents asked me to go check into joining the army. They decided to make it a whole weekend thing. I’m sorry guys, I can’t,” Parker explains.
I glance up at him suddenly, not able to hide the disappointment in my eyes. “And you weren’t planning on telling me this?”
“Babe, it just came up, I swear. I wouldn’t hide anything from you. This is just the first time I’ve been able to say anything about it.” He looks truly conflicted.
“Is that what you want? To be in the army? To be deployed? To be away from me?” I ask, unable to hide the crack in my voice.
“Can we talk about this later?” he pleads, eyeing Kendall. “Please.”
“Fine,” I spit huffily. “You go see what the army has to offer with your parents, and if it is something you truly want to do, we will talk then.” I turn on my heel and head toward class. I can’t stand being there anymore. I never imagined myself as someone who would date a military man. It just doesn’t appeal to me. Being away from Parker, the one person who keeps me grounded, my rock, does not appeal to me one bit.
Parker knows why my insecurities are sky-high about him even contemplating a future in the army. That huge reason has a name: Mason.
He was four years older than me, but I never noticed the difference. He always made me feel like an equal. I was only fourteen years old when he joined the army fresh out of high school. He always said he wanted to make a difference with his life, and I believed it with every sparkle in his eyes.
I remember the day like it was yesterday…the knock on the front door, the unfamiliar soldier standing outside, asking to come in. I knew then nothing would ever be the same.
We were told it was a roadside bomb, leaving them no time to react. They led me to believe it had been quick and as painless as possible, but the pictures and visions that took over my mind convinced me otherwise. He was only twenty years old when his life was taken from him, too young to experience the full meaning of life. I always felt like he was robbed.
The past couple of years, the only thing that got me through my grief was Parker. He was there, even when I didn’t want him to be. Even when I thought I knew what was best for me…he never gave up. Parker also shared a close bond with Mason, growing closer to him after Bo. We really leaned on each other to get us through those dark months.
The days turn into weeks, and the weeks turn into a month…and before we know it, we have graduated from high school. The decision has been finalized. Parker is leaving for basic training in the next few days, and we have barely spoken since he broke the news to me. It’s not that he hasn’t tried to get a hold of me, calling and texting nonstop, even showing up at my house, only to be lied to by my mother, who told him I wasn’t home.
I am avoiding him. I am avoiding the person I love most in the world because I can’t bear the thought that he is going to be leaving me for two and a half months. He isn’t leaving me forever, but I honestly don’t know how I will get through that time without him. With everything going on between my parents, he is my escape, and I am losing that without even getting a say. I am devastated. I’ve spent the good part of the past two weeks hiding under my covers, crying my eyes out, not being able to get out of bed. I am depressed, and I am ashamed.
I know eventually I have to face Parker and will have a decision to make, one I never in a million years thought I would be faced with—stand by Parker and cherish every moment we’ve had together, deployment or not, or let him go, because the thought of losing him like I lost Mason tears me apart from the inside. I’ve been avoiding the decision for fear I already know what I am going to decide.
Today, I tell myself, will be different. It is the first day I can get out of bed, shower, and actually take a step outside. My eyes are still swollen from crying, but I am making progress, one step at a time.
Leaving the house, I have no idea where I’m headed; I just begin walking. Within ten minutes, it becomes obvious. In the process of walking nowhere, my subconscious took over, leading me to Bush Park. This is where I always go when I need to get away from reality. It is my own special spot of which not too many people have knowledge. I sit myself against a tree and close my eyes, just feeling nature. With no more than five minutes of silence under my belt, I hear footsteps crunching the leaves around me.
23
Weeks have passed since my parents gave me the ultimatum, since I broke the news to Madalynne, and since she last allowed me to see her, much less speak to her. I’ve spent the better part of fourteen days holed up in my room, in sweats, eating junk food, playing video games, and being downright miserable. My BO is out of control given the fact that I haven’t showered more than two times. The only thing, or should I say person, who has kept me going is Jacqueline. Talking to her has been the only bright thing in these dark weeks.
Lately though, even she can’t stand to talk to me and has been begging me to talk to Madalynne. She says I can’t let this go on much longer. So, after too much time, I climb in the shower, shave the gnarly beard and mustache, and brush my teeth. I even spray myself with her favorite cologne of mine, hoping she won’t be able to resist me. Dialing her mother, I find out she left without word as to where she was headed. She underestimated me.
/>
When I arrive at the familiar spot in Bush Park, I breathe a sigh of relief seeing Madalynne propped against a tree, eyes closed. I don’t want to disturb her, but I need to see her before I leave.
“Hey…I thought I’d find you here,” I say softly.
“Why were you looking for me?” Her voice is sharp.
“Hey, just because I’m joining the army does not mean we are over…it doesn’t mean I want to leave you. It is the last thing I want.” I approach her hesitantly at first then begin to caress her face with the back of my hand. She closes her eyes, enjoying the soft touch, leaning into it.
I run my finger across the length of her bottom lip, making her quiver. My lips are on hers with no time to spare. She kisses me back hungrily.
I’ve never denied the attraction we have for one another. It’s this insane connection and undeniable bond. My mouth travels to her earlobe, neck, and shoulders. She is gasping for breath, and I want nothing more than to stay in this moment forever.
“Parker…please.”
“Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing me away? Two and a half months is going to fly by, and then I am going to be home for three months before AIT. I want to be with you, and I know you want to be with me. Why are you making this so difficult?”
“Parker, it was hard enough to hear you are leaving me for two and a half months. But then what? I get to have you back again for three months, just to have you ripped away again for God knows how long for AIT? And then, what if you get deployed? You know how I feel about that! Those last anywhere from six months to a year sometimes. I need you, and you are leaving me.” Tears stream down her cheeks. “You know what losing Bo did to us…losing Mason, Ciera, hell, even my parents’ drama…I don’t know if we can survive this…”
