by Kira Adams
Seeing her crying is absolute torture. My hands instantly roam her face to wipe the tears away. “Baby, it’s not forever. Can’t you cherish the time we have together instead of pushing me away? Wouldn’t you rather have me a little less than not have me at all?”
She sighs. “Parker, just go with me on this, please. You never know what could happen in two months, three months, six months, even a year. Time apart can change everything. I just don’t think staying together while you go to training is the right thing to do. Let’s take some time apart, and we will reevaluate when you return, okay?”
Her words and the shortness in her voice cut me deep with every syllable. Time is everything to her. I am her pillar of support, and in her eyes, if I leave, she will be crippled. I understand why she is sad; I understand her reason for crying, but it doesn’t mean it makes it any easier. My heart breaks a little more with every tear that rolls down her cheeks.
“Fine! If I have to wait years to be with you again, I will!” Standing here isn’t doing me any good, so I walk away. My abrupt departure was not intended, but it’s difficult knowing she is willing to walk away from everything we have built, our foundation so easily ignored. It tears my heart right out of my chest.
It is the day after everything went down with Madalynne. I’m still reeling from the fact that I leave for basic for a couple of months with no contact with the outside world other than snail mail; not only am I losing Madalynne, I’m also losing Jacqueline. Talk about cosmic synergy.
I know I can’t just leave without saying a real goodbye to the person who has been there for me through everything in my life, from the very beginning, but I don’t know how I’m going to be able to get that through to Maddy.
I’ve resorted to asking Jacqueline for help. I mended our relationship to the best of my ability a few months ago. Usually I don’t like to talk about Maddy when in conversation with Jacqueline, but I never lie to Jacqueline. And although I never lied to Maddy, I keep things from her, specifically my reconnection with one blond-haired, blue-eyed angel. Unlike Maddy, Jacqueline knows everything about me, more than any other living soul.
Look, Parker, just know, if she really loves you then the distance and the time, even the history, those things, they just don’t matter, Jacqueline writes in response to my novel of an explanation.
If it were you…if it were just you and me…would you? I type timidly.
Would I what? she prods. Would I wait?
Yeah, I reply, anxiously awaiting her answer.
Of course, Parker. I’d always wait for you.
Her response elicits a smile from me. Thanks for always being there for me, I type before signing off the messaging app.
I grab my dark grey hoodie off my bed and slip it on before heading out of my room and down the stairs. I thought I could slip out unnoticed, but the sound of my mother’s voice tells me otherwise.
“Parker, just where are you running off to at this time of night?” My mother’s face wrinkles with worry.
I brush past her. “Just going to hang out with Dylan for the last time,” I holler over my shoulder without looking back.
“Well, be careful and don’t be reckless like you two are when you two get together,” she warns before I slam the door on my way out.
I awake with one hell of a hangover and a surprising message from Maddy asking me to stop by. I manage to change and brush my teeth, but if it isn’t already apparent, I feel like shit.
I ring her doorbell and then wince when the shrill bell chimes. Madalynne peeks out from behind the curtains and quickly opens the door for me, allowing me inside.
“Hey, thanks for coming over.”
I sit down on the couch, and she sits beside me. “What did you call for?” I ask, fully aware how it sounds. I instantly feel terrible when I see her wrench back with pain from my tone.
“I’ve done a lot of thinking over the past few days and have decided I’m going to stay with my aunt and uncle in Hawaii while you’re gone. They offered to fly me out there, given all the stuff going on at home. Plus, it will help clear my head and help me decide if we are going to work out when you come back or not.”
This news is all so out of left field for me, but suddenly I don’t care. I have the hangover from hell, and all I can think in this moment is that I can’t lose Madalynne. Whether she is pushing me away or not, we have been here before. We’ve been through the toughest hurdles and made it out together. She is what has made my world turn for as long as I can remember, and besides my online tryst with Jacqueline, I have never had eyes for anyone else. It’s always been Madalynne; I hope, pray, and wish my story will end with her.
“No matter what…I want to be with you.” I reach my hand up to her face and then begin kissing her ever so aggressively, barely giving her a moment to catch her breath. She reaches up to push me away, but it’s pointless…I’ve won her over.
I can’t help myself when it comes to Madalynne. The way her name rolls off my tongue turns me on, the perfect but not-so-perfect birthmark on her shoulder, her curves in all the right places—she is my kryptonite; I’m powerless when it comes to her.
My lips trail the base of her neck, up and down, before my tongue slides across it. She shakes and stirs against my touch. The passion is off the charts, the connection undeniable, just like the first time.
She is running her fingers up and down my chest and kissing, licking, and tugging at my ear. I can barely stand it. I rip her top off, exposing her small but defined chest. Every intimate moment with her is beautiful, and I let myself enjoy this one fully.
I notice Madalynne hurriedly pull her shirt back on after we finish. “I love you, baby. I knew it would work out.” I grin back at her.
“Parker.” She sighs. “This doesn’t change anything. You are still going to training, and I am still going to Hawaii. I think this time will be good for us.” She turns around to face me.
I shake my head lightly. “I love you and always will. I will prove it to you, I promise. We will be together. No matter the distance or time apart. I need to go, but before I do, please say it back.”
“Parker…”
“Please, I need to hear it, now more than ever,” I beg.
“I love you, Butter Bean. You are the peanut butter to my jelly, the yin to my yang, my other half. You are my soul mate.” She recites the words we have been saying to each other for more than a few years.
“Thank you. Don’t give up on us. Promise me you still have hope.” I take her hand in mine, squeezing it lightly.
She smiles then replies softly, “I still have hope.”
I grab her face in my hands and press my lips against hers, feeling the electricity between us. “I have to go, baby.”
I can’t help looking back as I back up, only to notice Madalynne standing on the porch, watching me drive away, head held low. I wish she had more faith in our relationship like I do.
24
As my plane takes off for Hawaii, my eyes wander toward the window. Am I making the right choice? Parker is all I know. Is this overreacting? Will I regret it?
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice someone settle into the seat beside me. As the guy sits down, his arm slowly rubs against mine, sending chills down my back. What is wrong with me? This is going to be a long flight. Great, stuck beside a total stranger, and to make it even worse, he is drop-dead gorgeous…
I sneak glances to my left. The guy looks to be around my age. He has beautiful brown skin, a black shaved head, and eyes that paralyze me. Before too long, he catches me checking him out and a huge grin spreads across his face. I blush, not used to looking at other guys. I don’t even know how to flirt. It’s always been Parker, someone who knows me better than anyone, someone I am comfortable with and who never intimidates me. This stranger is different, and I’m unsure how I handle different.
“Hi,” he says, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “I’m Lee.” His hand extends for me to shake.
“How’s
it going? I’m Madalynne.” His eyes are incredible, a bright hazel with a hint of teal. Someone could get lost in those. I wonder who has had that chance…
He squeezes my fingers gently. “Hey…do you think I could get my hand back anytime soon?” Lee grins back at me.
Embarrassed, my grip releases. “Sorry about that, I just kind of spaced.”
“That’s alright, I get that a lot,” Lee jokes. “Maybe I should call you Madalynne, the space cadet.”
I roll my eyes at his comment but also smile inwardly. We barely know one other and merely five minutes into meeting he’s already giving me a nickname. Suddenly, I feel conflicted. My love for Parker is undeniable, but these new feelings are foreign to me.
“So, visiting or coming home?” he asks, interrupting my thoughts.
“Visiting. My aunt and uncle live there, so I am going to stay with them for a bit. You?”
He shifts in his seat to face me fully. “I live there.”
“Seriously?” I practically squeal.
He smiles sheepishly. “I have my whole life.”
“Wow, that sounds amazing!” Beach life is attractive, and I’m planning to make the most of it during my extended stay.
“I get that a lot…so what island are you headed to?”
“Kauai. You?” I take a sip of the Pepsi the flight attendant just handed me then glance back at Lee.
“Me too. I guess everything happens for a reason, huh? Fate is funny like that. It probably brought us together so you could have a friend to show you around.” Lee’s eyes glisten.
“Ya never know.” My teeth roll over my bottom lip nervously. “When I told my friends and family I was going to Hawaii, I never told them a hot islander was going to show me around.”
Lee smirks. “When I signed up for this flight, a gorgeous girl in the seat next to me wasn’t on my agenda…but hey, I’m not complaining.”
I’ve been in Hawaii for a little over four days, and after I finally unpack and set up the room I’m staying in, I want to get out and explore. I grab my cell phone out of my pocket, dialing my new acquaintance’s number. The line clicks right as I am about to hang up.
“Hello?” His deep voice sounds sultry on the other end.
“Hey, Lee?”
“Is this Madalynne?” He sounds surprised, but not in a bad way.
“Yeah. How’s it going?”
“Great. How’s Kauai treating you?”
“Really good. I’m still adjusting, but the main reason I’m calling is because I was wondering if I could take you up on that offer of showing me around.”
He chuckles on the other end before replying, “Well you called the right person.”
It doesn’t take long to meet up; Lee’s house is only a short walk away. I am happy for the time to explore my new city on foot. When I arrive, he wastes no time at all making sure I get to experience the best Kauai has to offer.
He takes me to his favorite coffee shop and his favorite ice cream joint, and then we end up at his favorite dive bar. Thank God for my fake ID. It’s karaoke night, and drunk patrons are enjoying getting up and singing terribly to their favorite tunes.
“Did you have a good day today?” Lee asks, sipping his rum and Coke.
“I did. Thank you so much for taking me around and showing me the places you enjoy. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time,” I reply honestly.
“Are you going to get up there?” Lee asks, his head gesturing to the stage.
“Oh, no.” A giggle escapes my lips. “You would not want to see that. I couldn’t hold a tune if my life depended on it. I don’t even sing in the shower.”
Lee laughs heartily. “Now that I would like to see.”
My cheeks instantly redden, unsure what he is referring to…my horrible singing or me in the shower. The idea of him seeing me naked has my heartrate building. I take a big gulp of my Sex on the Beach, hoping that will help.
“If it makes you feel any better, I can’t sing either.” He grins back at me.
“Between you and me, there’s a part of me that really loves seeing people making a fool of themselves, and then there’s a part of me that really feels bad for them.” I’ve never admitted that to anyone out loud before.
Lee nods. “I get that. So, I know we talked a bit on the plane, but what is your purpose in being out here?”
That elicits another long swig off my drink. “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m kind of lost.”
He rolls his glass between his fingers. “I think we all experience that at some time or another.” He has this calming way about him. No matter how he responds, my mind and body instantly want to adhere to it. It’s a very intriguing feeling.
“Well, there’s this life waiting for me at home, but it’s a life I could have never expected or wanted. And then there’s the fresh start here, but it’s away from everyone I know and love, away from all of the memories I’ve made.”
He downs the rest of his drink, slamming it onto the bar. “Someone once told me that nothing in life worth having comes easy, and that to find the things and people you are passionate about, you have to break out of your comfort zone. I don’t know if this advice is any help to you right now, but I think you being here is good. No matter how long that ends up being, I think this was a necessary shift you needed to be able to figure out where you are headed.”
Goose bumps trail my arms and legs. “Has anyone ever told you that you are really good at giving advice? Like maybe you should consider becoming a therapist?”
Lee laughs, amused, his eyes twinkling. “I think I’ll stick with fitness. That’s something I can actually control.”
After the first time we hung out, it’s become more and more frequent. Movies, workouts, and even surfing lessons. Lee makes sure I get to experience all Hawaii has to offer. I don’t think it could get any better, and then Lee pulls his car up to Princeville Ranch. “What are we doing here?” I ask as we both exit his blue Ford Focus.
His hazel eyes dance with excitement when he finally responds, “We’re going to zip and dip!”
“Huh?” I shoot him a look of utter bewilderment.
“I told you I was going to be the best tour guide.” He winks at me and begins heading toward the building.
I later find out what he means by ‘zip and dip’. Princeville Ranch is a widely popular ziplining and swimming destination. There are over nine ziplines and a waterfall to swim in. I am lost for words.
My extreme fear of heights is crippling, but I have never seen anything more incredible and hope to conquer my fear by going through with it.
When we are fully harnessed and ready to go, the zipline experts lead us on a short hike where we finally come upon the first line. It is only the test run, but I am scared nonetheless.
“Madalynne, are you alright?” A look of utter concern spreads across Lee’s face.
I nod without answering, trying to remind myself not to look down. My stomach is doing sickening flops, the nausea like waves in the sea. With each person that makes it across in our group, the realization that I am going to be doing the thing I fear most is debilitating.
“Listen, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Lee exclaims softly after a few minutes of radio silence from me.
“No, I want to do it,” I reply firmly. I’m taking charge of my life, one step at a time. The old Madalynne relied on anyone and everyone to get her through the tough times…but not me. I want to learn how to rely on myself. I need to learn what it’s like not to have to lean on Parker for everything, and I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything else in the world.
Letting go is exhilarating. In no time at all, I’m flying through the air, the wind in my hair, and I’m loving every single second. It’s hard to remember what I was so nervous about.
The day at Princeville Ranch was one for the record books. I faced my fear head-on and came out unscathed! I’ve been riding a wave of euphoria ever since.
It was also the first
time I saw Lee without his shirt on. His body can make any girl blush, the rock-hard abs and bulging biceps under his dark tan skin breathtaking. My thoughts have been running wild since.
The problem is the obvious sexual tension you can cut with a knife. It’s not like he hasn’t been a complete gentleman every day we’ve spent together, never once overstepping boundaries. But the more time that passes by, the harder it is to fight these feelings. I’m unsure how he feels, but if it continues, I’m fucked. You can’t ignore our chemistry. Not being able to simply take his hand in mine or run my fingers through his hair is becoming almost too much to bear. I’m in too deep.
Ziplining was just the beginning of my adventurous outings with Lee. Shortly after, he talked me into working out with him every morning. Originally when he asked me, he didn’t mention the fact that we would be waking up at five every day. It’s been difficult, but seeing Lee shirtless and sweaty has made it a little easier. It’s wrong of me to think that way, but there’s no harm in a simple thought, right?
“Good morning, sunshine,” he greets me in a warm tone as my feet lead me into his condo’s gym. “You awake yet?”
“Barely,” I reply, squinting back at him.
He chuckles and then places his hands on my shoulders, his fingers working their way into my skin. It feels good. Too good. After a few moments too long, my body shifts just enough to get away from his intoxicating touch.
“So, what kind of torture do you have in store for me today?” Looking around, I see we are the only crazy ones up at this time. It usually doesn’t get busy until 6:30, so we have a bit of time.
“Well, let’s stretch first, and then we are going to do cardio.”
I’ve worked out more in the last few weeks since meeting Lee than in my entire life. Thankfully, I have a naturally high metabolism, so it’s not something that has ever been on my to-do list.
