Centering Kaos: Military MC, Single Mom Slow Burn Romance (Dead Presidents MC Book 10)

by Harley Stone

  Like the rest of the house, the bedroom was tastefully decorated in grey, black, and white with a queen-sized bed, situated between two giant windows. We were on a hill, and the lights of Seattle shimmered below us. The day had been clear, and above, the rising moon was surrounded by twinkling stars. The entire view was stunning, and I found myself glued to it, wondering how I fit into this massive, intimidating world now. Despite the insanity that came afterward, Matt had been served divorce papers. Emily would file them in the morning, and in three months, I’d be free of him. I wondered where I’d go and what I’d do.

  For the first time in a long time, I felt hopeful.

  “This is amazing,” I said. “Thank you.”

  He nodded. “You’re welcome.” I didn’t take my gaze off the view, but I could see him out of the corner of my eye. He was watching me, much like I watched the view. I wondered what he saw. An abused woman trying to get her feet under her? A victim? Something more? No. I couldn’t think about that right now. I pushed away from the wall.

  Kaos was still watching me. He pointed toward a door. “Closet.” To another door, he said, “Bathroom. Like I said, please, make yourself comfortable. If you need anything at all, there’s a white board on the side of the fridge. My cousin will be here tomorrow. Carisa cleans and shops for me, and she’ll pick up whatever you put on that board. I’m gonna tell Dylan goodnight, and then head upstairs. I have some calls to make, but if you need me, the staircase that leads to my room is at the end of the hall.

  Knowing that this kind, beautiful man would be sleeping one floor up from me made my stomach feel strange again. I thanked him again and he stepped out of the room, giving me a moment alone before I had to track down my son and coax him into the bathtub. I collapsed on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, trying to make sense of how I felt.

  Safe.

  The word thrummed through me over and over like a prayer. Dylan and I were safe.

  At least, for now.

  9

  Kaos

  I COULDN’T STOP touching Tina. Her shoulder, her back, her arm, her neck, every inch of her body called to me like I was a goddamn kid again, and she was a new texture I had yet to discover. It started with an accidental brush of our arms, and before I knew it, I had my hand on the small of her back, relishing in the curve that flared out to her ass.

  I liked touching her. It felt… right somehow. And the more I touched her, the harder it was to stop. I probably would have draped my arm over her shoulders, but that seemed a little too familiar. She was a mom with all the responsibilities that came with the title, and I needed to restrain myself and respect her role. The luggage had to be carried upstairs, so that kept my hands busy for a few minutes.

  But then she stopped to study my family photos, and the fucking bone deep loneliness that emanated from her made me itch to drop everything and comfort her. Eyes soft with a sad smile ghosting her lips, she stared at the picture of my parents, talking about what had happened to her own. Her odd, estranged relationship with her uncle really threw me for a loop. I couldn’t imagine living a life without family up in your business all the time.

  All Tina had was Elenore and Dylan.

  Yet she was so strong, so goddamn unbreakable. Life had heaped extra helpings of shit onto her shoulders, but she didn’t give up. She was here, fighting for herself and Dylan, and I respected the hell out of her hustle.

  She was wounded, but she was still in the game.

  I wanted to call a time out so I could wrap my arms around her and shield her from the world.

  Then, I wanted to kick myself for even considering such a thing.

  She’d already had one asshole impose his will on her, she sure as shit didn’t need another. Besides, I wasn’t a shield; I was a center. I was all about that offense. My game plan included plays like breaking away from the defenders to score the game winning goal. Never in my life had I even considered hunkering down and protecting home. That sounded more like a goalie than anything.

  Goalies had the hardest job on the ice—and I had every respect for them—but I’d never wanted to be one.

  Yet here I was.

  I studied the breathtaking woman before me, noting the pain and longing in her eyes even while her back was straight, her posture unyielding. The man who was supposed to be her teammate had turned on her. Life had shed its gloves and was going at her bare-fisted. Nobody would blame her one bit if she hunkered down and protected herself, but she wasn’t that woman. She’d marched her determined ass into Ladies First and helped them come up with a plan to get back her freedom. She’d stayed in the game with only her sister and her son to support her.

  “That sounds lonely,” I said, trying to imagine a world without my crazy family. I couldn’t. They were so ingrained in the very fabric of my being, I had no idea what my life would be like without them. I didn’t even want to think about it.

  I wanted to tell her how badass I thought she was, but Dylan kept bouncing off the walls, and she was distracted, needing to take care of him. Besides, she wasn’t mine to lift up. She was still married. With a fucking kid.

  The realization hit me like a sucker punch. Sure, she and her piece of shit husband had been separated for seven months and she’d filed for divorce, but still. Secretly lusting after her curvy body was one thing. Wanting to be a part of her life? That should feel wrong.

  Right?

  So why the fuck didn’t it?

  Shaking my head at my sudden willingness to break my moral code for this woman, I led her to her room. I intended to drop her ass off and get out of there, but the sight of her staring out at the city, looking so vulnerable and alone knocked me sideways. She tugged at impulses I didn’t even know I had, making it almost impossible to keep my hands off her and walk out the goddamn door.

  But she had enough going on without me planting myself in her life, demanding attention she didn’t have to give. I needed to back off and let her figure shit out first. Maybe a little time and self-control would help me get past whatever the fuck kept tugging me toward her.

  As fucked-up as it was, I wanted her in my bed.

  A good old-fashioned ride on my cock would no doubt do wonders for her psyche. For a few hours, I could make her forget all about that abusive shitstain she’d married, and remind her of her own power as a gorgeous, sexual being. She deserved pleasure, passion, and release, and I could damn well give that all to her.

  But what would happen afterward?

  Tina didn’t strike me as a fuck-and-forget-it woman. Even if she was, I couldn’t imagine any mom having the luxury of no-strings-attached sex. If I somehow managed to get into her pants, the experience would no doubt be followed up by an awkwardness—and maybe even regret—that would make her feel unwelcome in my home.

  No matter how much I wanted her, she and Dylan needed the safe haven I’d provided, and I refused to let my aching cock take away their security.

  Still, it took everything in me to drag my ass away from her door.

  When I finally did, I found Dylan exactly where I knew he’d be. Chuckling, I stepped into the room I’d had furnished and decorated for my nieces and nephews and shook my head. The kid had a virtual reality headset on and was standing in the center of the room waving the controllers wildly.

  “Beat Saber?” I asked.

  “Yep. I’m killin’ it.” He swung a few more times, stopped, and pushed the headset up to his forehead so he could see me. “You have the coolest shit, Kaos.”

  “Why thank you, but I don’t think your mom would appreciate that language.”

  He dropped his gaze, frowning, and I could almost feel my upgraded status slipping away. “You use those words,” he said.

  I nodded. “I also pay my own bills. Regardless, you better believe I don’t cuss in front of my mom.”

  “Why not?”

  “It would upset her, and she’s a good woman who’s done a lot for me. I don’t like to upset her. You see, the sum of who you are and what y
ou do in life can be attributed to the people around you. Part of growing up is realizing who’s helped you out and sacrificed to get you where you are in life. My dad worked a lot, so it fell on my mom’s shoulders to get me to hockey practice. I’m sure she had other stuff she would have rather done, but she didn’t miss a single game when I was growing up. I could always look up in the stands and see her cheering me on. Why would I want to disrespect someone who was always in my corner?”

  He stared at me, his expression thoughtful. “That’s a fair point, I suppose.”

  I bit back a laugh. “It’s a damn good point. Now, time to put the game up for the night.” I held out my hand and he reluctantly handed over the headset and controllers. I stashed them in the highest cabinet to dissuade him from trying to get them down. “You can play with the VR set again tomorrow. If you touch it before then, I’ll take it away for a week. Understand?”

  He nodded. Dylan was a smart kid who needed to know where the lines were drawn and what the consequences would be if he crossed them.

  “Good. Follow the rules and we’ll get along just fine. As you can tell, I like kids to have fun while they’re in my house.”

  Dylan nodded again, his gaze taking in the three sets of bunk beds, the fifty-two-inch television with multiple game consoles attached, the bean bags, the chest of nerf guns and bullets, and the bookshelf stocked with handheld game machines and games. “It’s weird that you don’t have any kids,” he said.

  I chuckled. “Yeah. I like to go a little overboard when it comes to spoiling my nieces and nephews. They’re good kids who work hard in school and I think that shit should be rewarded, you know?”

  He dropped his gaze guiltily and gave me a shrug. “Yeah. I guess.” He’d come around eventually. The kid just needed a little time and guidance.

  “Did you bring soap and shampoo with you?” I asked.

  His head snapped back up. “Yep.”

  “Get them out of your bag and I’ll show you how to turn the bath on and off. You’re old enough to do that, right?”

  “Of course I am.” Looking mildly offended, he marched over to one of his bags and unzipped it, searching through the contents until he retrieved two bottles.

  “I figured as much,” I said, leading him toward the attached bathroom. I pointed at a cupboard. “Grab yourself a towel and a washcloth out of there. If you run out of soap or shampoo, that’s where I keep extras.” Kneeling beside the bathtub, I pointed out the controls. “This activates the stopper to keep the water in.” I flicked it up and down, demonstrating how it worked before turning on the water. “Left is hot, right is cold, toward the middle should be just right, but I’ll let you figure out how warm you want it. You know your left from your right, don’t you?”

  The cocky little bastard dropped his shoulders and cocked his head to the side, looking like he was questioning my intelligence. “Everyone knows that.”

  I bit back a chuckle. “Oh yeah? Hold up your left hand.”

  He took a second to think about it, and then his left hand shot up.

  “Good. I’ll leave you to it, then. Your mom should be in any minute, but she’s had a rough day so I’m hopin’ you can give her a little bit of a break. I know you’re a kid and it’s in your nature to push back, but how about you wash yourself up and get to bed without giving her a hard time? Just for tonight?”

  He frowned, but agreed, “Okay. I can do that.”

  “I know you can. Thanks, man.” I clapped him on the shoulder as I stood. “I’m glad you guys are here. Get a good night’s sleep, and I’ll see you in the morning. As long as you don’t get into trouble at school, we’ll see if you’re as good at air hockey as you are at foosball.”

  He grinned. As I turned to leave, he surprised me by saying, “Thanks, Kaos.”

  I gave him a manly nod of my head, encouraging his appreciation, but careful not to appear too enthusiastic about it. There was a fine line between the two, and it had to be carefully trod. “No problem.”

  Still fighting back a smile, I stepped into the bedroom and found Tina standing there. I had no idea how long she’d been listening in on my conversation with Dylan, but her eyes were glassy, and her hands were clasped in front of her. Curiosity raised her eyebrows as she looked at me like she was seeing me for the first time.

  Unable to stop myself, I stepped closer until only inches separated us. Searching her face for clues about what was going on in her head, I asked, “Everything okay?”

  “You didn’t have to help him. I was coming. I just… needed a minute.” The smile she gave me was… forced and unnatural, a complete contrast to the honesty we’d shared earlier.

  I didn’t like the way it twisted up my stomach. “I don’t mind helping out. I like Dylan. He’s a good kid. I’m sorry if I overstepped by showing him how to use the tub. The controls are simple, and I figured you could use a little break. You’re not some kind of superhuman, and nobody here expects you to be.”

  “I…” She sucked down a shaky breath and looked away. “You didn’t overstep, I’m not used to… I don’t know what I’m trying to say. It has been a rough day. Thank you for starting his bath and for encouraging him to step up. That was… really thoughtful.”

  Her body seemed to lean toward me, and I couldn’t tell if she was aware of it or not. Instinctively, I reached for her. My fingertips brushed her arm, but she sidestepped my hand and disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. I stared after her for a moment, wondering what the hell had just transpired between us. She had to feel our off-the-charts chemistry, but she was doing her damnedest to ignore it.

  Tina was going through hell and she needed space and time. I could give her that. Resigned, I headed upstairs, pulling out my cell phone to call Link along the way. It was past time for me to check in, and I could obviously use the distraction.

  “Hey Kaos, I was just about to call you,” he said upon answering. “You get Tina and Dylan situated?”

  I appreciated the way he referred to them by name. To the club, they weren’t targets or jobs. They were people with real lives and individual identities. “Sure did, Prez. She’s giving him a bath as we speak. I watched for a tail but didn’t see shit. Did Matt ever show up at the condo?”

  “No.” Link hesitated. “Well, not to the condo. Morse was able to hack into the parking garage’s camera feed and caught his vehicle making the rounds a few minutes after Tap drove her car out of there, but the son-of-a-bitch never parked or approached the building.”

  “Think he was lookin’ for her car?”

  “Makes sense. Let’s hope the fucker comes lookin’ for it here. Has Tina said anything about her plans for the week?”

  I ambled through my bedroom door and sat on the corner of the bed. “She mentioned that Dylan has school, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea for him to go.” Balancing my phone on my shoulder, I started tugging off my boots and socks.

  “Not our call, I’m afraid. All we can do is make suggestions and be there to support whatever decisions she makes. We’re not protective custody and she and her boy aren’t our prisoners. Don’t try to keep them from livin’ their lives, but do what you can to protect them.”

  Right. Like taking candy from a toddler: tricky as hell and there was no way to come out of it without feeling like an asshole. “Any suggestions?”

  “See if she’ll let you play chauffeur. If that motherfucker is waiting at the school, you can keep her safe and make sure he doesn’t follow her back to your place. If you need backup or assistance, call and we’ll be there.”

  “Will do. How’s her sister? Was Tap able to talk Elenore into letting him ramp up her security?”

  Link chuckled. “Sure was. You’ll learn Tap doesn’t mince words or waste time. Most people appreciate that kind of honesty, and she was all over it. He replaced her locks, installed a camera over her door, loaded her up with a Taser and enough pepper spray to take down a goddamn bear, and got the hell out of there.”

&nb
sp; And from my brief encounter with Elenore, I’d bet she was hoping for the opportunity to use that Taser and pepper spray on Matt. “Tina will be relieved to hear it,” I said. “By the way, was everything okay with Matt’s signature? Emily has everything she needs now, right?”

  “Yeah.” Link sounded surprised I’d asked. “She’ll be filing the papers first thing in the morning.”

  The amount of relief his assurance gave me was startling. “Thank you.”

  “It’s what we do. Keep your eyes and ears open and let us know if you need anything,” Link said.

  We disconnected, and I tugged off my clothes, tossing them into the hamper so Carisa wouldn’t skin me alive when she came to clean tomorrow. It didn’t matter how much I paid my cousin to keep up my house, she’d still kick my ass if I left her a mess. I could always fire her and hire someone else for the job, but then the rest of my family would show up on my front lawn with pitchforks and torches to remind me of who I was and where I came from.

  Sometimes, having a huge, fully engaged, close-knit family wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

  Turning on the shower, I stepped into the stream and flicked the setting to massage, thankful for the instant hot water heater my plumber brother had talked me into purchasing. I closed my eyes and ducked my head beneath the stream, enjoying the way it worked over my scalp as my thoughts drifted back to Tina. Hell, she was always in the back of my mind these days, tugging at my attention with her intense hazel eyes and plump lips. My cock instantly hardened at the memory of her in her room, framed by the stars above and the lights of the city below.

  Dylan had to be finished with his bath by now. She’d probably tucked him in and returned to her own room. Now, what was she up to? Did she let her hair down? Did she remove her clothes and get dressed for bed? Or was she standing in her own en suite, staring at the soaking tub?

  Now that image had potential.

  Focusing my imagination, I could almost see her starting the water before tugging off her shirt and bra. The round soft breasts—that had been calling to me since the day I met her—would bounce free, and she’d let out a sigh of relief. She’d unfasten her jeans and slide them and her panties over her shapely hips and down her thick, sexy thighs. Stepping free, she’d slip into the warm water, letting it leech away her tension as she rested her head against the back of the tub and closed her eyes.