Hail To The King: An Urban Fantasy Action Adventure (The Unbelievable Mr. Brownstone Book 8)

by Michael Anderle

“Nah, you don’t get it. It’s because no matter what stupid shit I think I’ve done, you do stupider shit. It makes me feel better about my shit.” Trey grinned. “But you keep surviving it. That shit with Lars and his motherfuckers is all over the internet now, you know. They’re calling it the Brownstone Summer Beat-Down. Those motherfuckers never saw what was coming.” He snorted. “They actually thought they were gonna win against James motherfucking Brownstone with that weak-ass attempt.”

  “Everyone thinks they can take me down. Some come closer than others, and someday some asshole might get lucky. You never know.” James shrugged.

  The door opened again, revealing Charlyce.

  “I’m gonna shut everything down in the office and head to the orphanage now.”

  James nodded at her. “Thanks for all your help there.”

  “Says the man who donates so much money.”

  “Donating money is easy. Donating time is hard.”

  Charlyce offered her boss and nephew a final smile before slipping back into the building.

  “All right, maggots,” Royce shouted. “Now we’re going to do some laps around the neighborhood. Stretch, and I’ll be right back.”

  The drill instructor jogged over and picked up a brown paper bag from the ground and headed over to James.

  He held out the bag. “I swear by this product, James.”

  James hoped so. It’d be critical to protecting a vital organ in a dangerous confrontation down the road.

  The bounty hunter took the bag. “Thanks, Royce.”

  The drill instructor nodded and headed toward the street. The other men stopped stretching and hurried after him.

  Trey nodded to James. “I better join them for that, at least. Paperwork’s not a good excuse for missing PT.” He jogged after the Marine and his boys.

  James was just about to head inside the building when a police cruiser rolled into the parking lot. He frowned and walked toward it, only to relax when Sergeant Mack stepped out of the vehicle.

  The cop laughed. “Yeah, I saw that look on your face, Brownstone. Sorry for showing up in the car all of a sudden. Took care of some stuff downtown, and thought I’d stop by before I headed back to the station.”

  James grunted. “No problem. What’s up?”

  “Figured I’d let you know I’ve got everything set up for our wood. We can start prepping tomorrow if you want.”

  “Good to hear. I think it’ll be good to get the men all working on some quality barbeque. All this warrior philosophy and exercise shit is fine, but people need to know how to appreciate quality meat and do shit that doesn’t involve kicking people’s asses.”

  Mack smiled. “Yeah, I agree.” His smile disappeared. “But that’s not the only reason I stopped by.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

  Fuck. That doesn’t sound good.

  “What’s the other reason?”

  “Also wanted to let you know not to pull a stunt at the Salton Sea again like you just did. At least not anytime remotely soon.”

  “It turned out all right, didn’t it?” James shrugged. “What’s the big deal?”

  Mack glanced at the police car and back at James. “You’ve got to understand… Lieutenant Hall is pissed. AET collected all those bodies when they arrived, but she’s been bitching about it for days. About you being stupid and stubborn, and how you should have been working with AET and not doing video. All sorts of stuff. Don’t give her another reason to notice you, Brownstone.”

  “So things are back to the way they used to be? She gunning for me?” James grunted. An angry AET lieutenant was the last thing he needed.

  Mack shook his head. “Not saying that. Just saying don’t piss her off again anytime soon.”

  “I wasn’t trying to. I thought I was doing things the safe way.”

  “Only you could think that marching to a dried-up former inland sea to fight a level-five psycho is doing things the safe way.” Mack laughed.

  “Yeah, but—” James’ phone chimed. “One second. Just need to check my texts. Shay’s barely been talking me the last few days. Think she’s still pissed about what happened.”

  “You better apologize right away when you see her. Women want apologies.”

  The text wasn’t from Shay but from Tyler. He wanted Brownstone to come over and discuss his winnings.

  James looked up from his phone. “Sorry, but I’ve got something to take care of. Need to chat with Tyler at the Black Sun.”

  Mack stared at James. “Yeah. It’s still weird for you to be going there on purpose and peacefully.”

  “Tyler’s not so bad for a money-obsessed piece of shit.” James shrugged. “Talk to you later, Mack.”

  “Talk to you later, Brownstone.”

  James made himself comfortable in the chair across from Tyler’s desk as the information broker and temporary bookie stared at a spreadsheet on his computer. Royce’s brown paper bag sat on the bounty hunter’s lap.

  “Damn,” Tyler muttered.

  “What?”

  Tyler looked up from his computer. “Just thinking about how much money we made. Those idiots poured so much fucking money into Lars that I almost feel bad for them.” The bar owner chuckled. “Almost. But the money makes that feeling go away.”

  “This probably won’t work again, you know.”

  The information broker sighed. “Yeah, I know. Your beat-down was too good, and it was hard enough to find someone this time. Just keep an open mind. You never know what opportunities might present themselves.”

  “I don’t know. My girlfriend’s pretty pissed at me.” James shrugged. “Not sure it’s worth the trouble.”

  “Yeah, Maria came by to scream at me again for this. I still think it’s not a big deal. All we did was add a little extra to what you do anyway. Everyone’s freaking out for no good reason.”

  James grunted. “Yeah. Everything worked out exactly like we thought in the end, so what is the problem? It didn’t end up being that different than a few bounties strung together.”

  “I agree, but chicks…what are you going to do?” Tyler sighed. “They aren’t rational like guys.”

  “I’ve got one idea about what to do.” James reached into the bag and pulled out a jock strap. He tossed it on the desk.

  The other man eyed the accessory, his brow furrowed. “What the fuck, Brownstone? You trying out for a football team?”

  “Nope. You owe me one.” James stood. “My daughter suggested I use this the next time I encountered my girlfriend. I figured you might need one the next time you saw Lieutenant Hall. That, and a bulletproof vest.”

  James took a deep breath as the garage door closed behind his F-350 and killed the engine. His doom wasn’t that many feet away.

  Thanks to his phone alerts he knew that Shay had come home early and was already in his house. He hadn’t been looking forward to this, but he knew it was inescapable.

  Maybe I should bond with the amulet to be safe.

  The bounty hunter chuckled and stepped out of the truck. No use trying to run away from his destiny. He opened the side door and stepped into his home.

  Shay stood in the living room, her arms crossed, frowning. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

  “Yeah, I figured.” James cleared his throat. “Hey, Shay. Didn’t know you were coming home early. You didn’t text me to say you were.”

  “Figured I better show up before you went and did some other dumbass stunt.” She snorted.

  “You know, I was talking with Tyler earlier about that, and we both kind of were thinking about how it ended how we wanted. So is it really a big deal when you think about it?”

  Shay’s jaw dropped. “Yes, dumbass, it is a big deal when you basically set yourself up to be ambushed. You got lucky these guys didn’t have some weird-ass artifact that could have taken your head off. I’m sure the Whispering Amulet of Doom can’t do much if you’re dead.”

  James pondered that. He wasn’t honestly sure, but he wasn’t eager to test th
e theory. He opened his mouth to respond when Mack’s earlier words replayed in his head.

  Women want apologies.

  Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

  The bounty hunter shrugged. “I’m sorry.”

  Shay shook a finger at him. “Of course, you think… Wait, what?”

  James nodded. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it. I guess it ended okay, but it was crap, and I know it. Alison even pointed out how I didn’t tell you, so that proves something. I wanted to take down some assholes and make some money, but I never wanted to piss you off or worry you or Alison.”

  Her face pinched, and her mouth twitched. James suspected she’d had a far-longer rant built up and didn’t know what to do since he’d already surrendered.

  Thanks, Mack. I’ll have to thank you later.

  “Well, don’t do it again,” Shay muttered, “or you’ll bring the old Shay back. You want to go after bounties, do it the smart way, not some grandstanding gambling way involving that asshole Tyler. You can’t trust that piece of shit.”

  “Okay. Fair enough.”

  She narrowed her eyes. Her face was still red, and there was something calculating in her eyes. “No, I can’t let this go that easily. You made me feel helpless and pissed me off, and I need to take my revenge. I have to let out this aggression. Kicking trees didn’t do enough.”

  “Your revenge? Kicking trees? What are you talking about?”

  Shay stalked toward James, the corners of her mouth turning down. “This is how it feels, dumbass.” She slammed her foot into his crotch and her eyes widened. “Dammit, who the hell told you to wear a cup?”

  FINIS

  Dark Is Her Nature

  Did you know that Alison has her own series? Book one in School of Necessary Magic is Dark is Her Nature, and is available exclusively at Amazon.

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  Author Notes - Michael Anderle

  July 5,2018

  THANK you for not only reading this story (or rather ALL of them) but also reading these author notes.

  The tale of Mr. Brownstone is over…But is also starting fresh in book 09.

  This is the last book where Brownstone is legally … Wait…wait… I can’t say the next thing, cause it gives away the next book.

  DAMN!

  Well…shit. What am I supposed to chat about now? How about how enemies become frenemies and perhaps… based on shared pain… reluctant acquaintances?

  The opening of Book 09 is one whole chapter on something I personally find both interesting and full of opportunity to explore. I’m not giving away the whole premise, but lets just say that I use it as a way to show that shared confusion unites.

  Right now, I’m sitting in a small Chinese restaurant in Las Vegas called the Great Wall of China. (It even has a large cardboard display of red brick wall… Not that one uses this type of break in the Great Wall but I digress.) I’ve eaten MAYBE half of the Beef Fried rice and about 16 oz of Coke and I’m freaking stuffed. With this many carbs, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to make it to my car before I fall asleep.

  Why do I do this to myself?

  Just a small hint about book 09, Alison is coming back to LA – she is on summer vacation and she learns that James believes she needs to learn a few new skills.

  The Drow Queen makes a comeback, and James will have a few words for her.

  People are going to try to take away his daughter, and he will be damned if that happens without a (few) fights.

  Looking forward to the challenge James Brownstone wasn’t prepared for…

  Women.

  Ad Aeternitatem,

  Michael Anderle

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  Books by Michael Anderle

  For a complete list of books by Michael Anderle, please visit

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