by S. J. West
“If it saves you and all the others from having to fight Levi and his army, I’m willing to sacrifice my freedom. I’m one person, Lora. One life to save trillions in this universe and a countless number of souls in Heaven is a price worth paying.”
I know he’s right, but it doesn’t make losing him this way any easier. I may be mad at him for all the lies he told and how he manipulated my emotions to satisfy Abaddon’s need to make me pay for what I did to her, but that doesn’t mean I hate him. Anger is quickly spent. In time, I would have probably forgiven him for everything he did. Now, that time is being stolen from us. I don’t want to lose someone I care about. Not like this. Not to an angel who can’t be trusted.
Caleb takes hold of my hands with his. “Thank you for trying to talk me out of this. That, more than anything, shows me you still consider me to be one of your friends. I had hoped at one time that we could be more than that, but now that you’ve found your soulmate, that possibility has passed. I would never do anything to come between you and Silas. He’s the one you were always meant to be with, not me. I think, deep down, I always knew that, but I didn’t want to admit it to myself. I cared about you too much, and I’ve been known to be downright selfish.
“I will always remember and cherish that afternoon we spent together. If there was ever one perfect moment in my life, I think that was it. Thank you for giving me those memories.” Caleb lets go of my hands so he can cup the sides of my face. He looks into my eyes like it will be the last time he ever sees me. “I’m just glad it’s your face that will be the last one I see while I’m still myself.”
“I don’t want you to go,” I say as tears begin to sting my eyes over what I know I won’t be able to change. Caleb gently wipes my tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “Please, Caleb, stay with me. Don’t do this. We’ll find another way.”
Caleb smiles, but it’s filled with remorse. “This is the only way I know to keep you and Rose’s baby safe. I do this of my own free will, Lora. I do this because I love you, and because you deserve to live a beautiful and happy life. There’s only one thing that I ask that you do for me.”
“What?” I ask in a strained voice as I blink away my tears so I can see his face clearly.
“When you think of me, remember me as that boy you spent the afternoon with. That was the real me.”
Caleb leans over and kisses me lightly on the lips. It’s not a romantic kiss. It’s not one meant to rekindle anything between us. It’s a final memory.
Before I can stop him, Caleb drops his hands away from my face and runs over to the cage. He extends his right arm inside it toward Azrael, and the angel of death grabs it without hesitation. There’s a flash of white light that disappears as quickly as it appeared. Azrael’s body falls to the ground inside the cage just as Caleb pulls away from it. When he turns around to face me, I don’t see my friend in the eyes staring back at me anymore. Instead, I see the smirk of an angel who should have never been set free.
“Thank you, Lora.” Azrael winks at me. The gesture acts like a match, igniting my anger. “I never could have escaped here without you.”
He phases, leaving me trapped inside what was once his prison with no way to get back home.
3
(Azrael’s point of View)
You never realize how sweet fresh air is until you’ve been denied access to it for a few thousand years. The warm rays of the sun feel like heaven against my skin. Lucifer always was a sick bastard but trapping me inside a cave that felt as cold as an iceberg while teasing me with false flames racing up and down the walls seemed unnecessarily cruel. Oh well. My imprisonment has finally come to an end, and it sounds like I’ve been released just in time to witness a war my Father won’t be able to ignore.
I still can’t believe how easy it was to convince those two idiots to do exactly what I wanted. The thought makes me laugh. Caleb was so desperate to prove himself to Lora, even if it meant he had to give up his freedom. The only downside is that I can still feel him inside me. His emotions are strong where Lora is concerned. As soon as my soul merged with his, he knew I duped them both with my simple lie. I laugh out loud again as I feel him squirm inside our body.
“Stupid boy,” I berate him with a shake of my head. “You should have asked me more questions before sacrificing yourself so readily.”
Thankfully, the boy can’t talk back, but I can feel his indignation at my rebuke quite clearly.
I lay back against the top of the mountain Lora is still trapped inside of. From what I understand, she’s unable to tell a lie, but I have zero qualms about lying as long as I get what I want.
Alred hasn’t visited me yet. In fact, he’s still trying to convince the Wardens to bring him down to meet with me, but how could Caleb or Lora have known that? The only reason I do is because I can see through the eyes of the Wardens who have asked me to show them their deaths. A small piece of me stays attached to their souls, allowing me to see and hear through their eyes and ears. It’s one of the gifts that’s kept me sane while I’ve been trapped inside my prison. Being able to live vicariously through others has been my sole source of entertainment through the years.
When the people of this planet first discovered my prison, they were frightened, and rightfully so. They were little more than cavemen at the time and had no idea who I was or what I could do. As the years passed, they built traps to make sure no one came close to me. Once their species developed, they formed a group of protectors to make sure I never escaped. They were the first Wardens, and what they view as their sacred duty has been passed down from generation to generation.
As soon as the Watchers and War Angels came to this planet, I silently rejoiced because I saw an opportunity to play on the Wardens’ fear of my angelic brethren. After guarding me for so many years, they decided to trust the evil they knew more than the new threat to their way of life. I told them that if they could find a way to release me from my cage, I would rid their planet of the new invaders. The people of Laed-i would be able to purge their planet of the occupying angelic forces, and I would finally regain my freedom.
It seemed like the perfect plan, until it wasn’t. The Wardens offered themselves up as sacrificial tributes to act as hosts for my soul, but after ten failed attempts resulting in as many deaths, they abandoned my plan and decided to bide their time. Then the War Angel Academy was built and the Wardens once again begged me to help them. I told them there was only one other thing that might work but they seemed reluctant to kidnap a War Angel child for me to merge with. In fact, they feared the War Angels would wreck their retribution on the people of Laed-i before I could kill them all.
Humans. They think so small. If they had just done what I asked them to, we could have all come out winners. But no. They tried to do things their own way and it got them absolutely nowhere. Now their planet is ground zero for a war that will end all wars. Possibly end all life as we know it, too. The thought makes me laugh. I feel so giddy with excitement I might just go make myself a bucket of popcorn so I can enjoy the show Levi intends to stage.
I clutch my chest and sit up ramrod straight as my heart constricts with a pain I’ve never experienced before.
“Damn you, boy,” I growl, rubbing my chest to ease the stinging ache. “Why can’t you just let go? You’ve lost and I’ve won. Accept your fate and leave me alone.”
The pain intensifies. The boy may not be able to tell me what he wants in so many words, but I can definitely feel his dissatisfaction with my double-cross. He’s desperate for me to side with the angels of this planet and help them win against Levi and his unholy army. Well, I’m not going to do it. I’m not sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong. My brothers have lived without me for this long. I don’t particularly see a need to help either one of them now.
Then again, reaping so many souls at one time does sound rather delicious. All that energy just waiting to be harvested. The mere thought of taking a life makes my body tingle with anticipation. It’
s been so long since I felt the high of a soul leaving its body, and if I’m going to satisfy my ravenous hunger, I need to do it before my Father decides to stick his big nose into my fun and traps me again.
One of the advantages of being the angel of death is that my phasing isn’t restricted to only the places I’ve physically been. I can go anywhere I want, and right now, there’s only one place I want to be.
I’ve always considered releasing souls from their physical shells the greatest gift any angel could ask for. Some people beg me to come to them more than they pray to my Father for help. The sad fact is, I’m a better bet. I respond and my Father simply sits back with His heels up and lets things play out to their natural conclusion. Oh sure, He may try to help those in need by lending them His strength, but playing favorites has never been His thing. Why should He heal one person and not the other? He wouldn’t exactly be a benevolent deity if He decided to pick and choose who should live and who should die.
I phase into the dungeon within the castle on Laed-i. There I find Warden 99, also known as Nathan Barker. He’s sleeping on his cot in the dank room that has been his prison since the night of the fire at the academy.
“Nathan,” I say, kicking the side of the cot to wake him up.
Nathan sits up looking startled and disoriented.
“Who—who are you?” he stutters, unsuccessfully attempting to look brave despite his fear. “How did you get in here?”
“Don’t you recognize me?” I ask, feeling certain this moment should have been etched into his memory when we last met. “My body matches what you saw in the vision of your death. I’m sure you knew the moment you walked into this cell how this would all end.”
Nathan’s eyes widen and he crams his body into the corner of his cot as far away from me as possible.
“It can’t be,” he whimpers like a child who has lost all hope. “Are you Azrael?”
I nod. “This body was the vessel I needed to finally escape my cage in the mountain. Almost as soon as I got out, I came here to help you move on. You can’t possibly want to rot in this cell for the rest of your life.”
I sit down on the side of the cot. Nathan curls himself even tighter into the corner, trying to make himself smaller.
“You shouldn’t view death as the end of your life,” I say. “View it more as a fresh new beginning.” I scoot in a little closer. “I’m going to tell you a secret that the angels don’t want most people to know.”
“They’re always keeping secrets,” Nathan says in disgust. “What’s new?”
“This one would change the course of humanity if it was ever widely known,” I say in a conspiratorial voice. “Hell no longer exists.”
Nathan sits up straighter. “You’re lying.”
“Nope. It’s the God’s honest truth. Now when you die, you either go to Heaven or to a new realm called the Void.”
“What’s the Void?”
“Think of it as a place where you get a new lease on life, my friend. If you’re sent to the Void, you lose all the memories you have of this life and get a chance to start all over again there. Doesn’t that sound like a place you would rather be than here?”
“But . . . my family is here. My life is here.”
“Huh! What life?” I make a show of peering around his cell in disgust. “What makes you think they’ll ever let you leave this place, especially after you set fire to the academy? Plus, you tried to kill one of their students. Do you honestly believe they’ll just let you waltz out of here after that? You’re going to die here, Nathan. You might as well accept that as fact. The best thing you can do for yourself is let me help you crossover so you can start a new life in the Void.”
“How do you know I’m not going to Heaven?”
The innocent way he asked the question makes me bust out in laughter. The sound startles me at first. It’s not my voice. It’s not my chest pumping up and down. I can feel Caleb’s soul cringing away from my attempts to coerce Nathan toward his fate. My gift to show people how they’ll die is almost always spot on. It’s rare to have someone change their life so much that they alter what’s meant to happen to them. Nathan isn’t that special. His death will proceed exactly the way I showed him all those years ago.
“I think we both know you won’t be allowed into Heaven,” I tell him as if he should have known better than to even ask the question. “But I can help you get to the Void. All you have to do is trust me.” I hold out my right hand to him. “I promise you won’t feel any pain if you let me help you.”
Nathan tightens his arms around his bent legs as he looks at my hand with a great deal of wariness. I can’t say I blame him. He doesn’t understand who I am and what I can do.
“If you truly want to go to Heaven one day, simply live a righteous life in the Void.”
“But you said I wouldn’t remember anything from this life after I get there,” he points out. “How am I going to remember that piece of advice?”
“Good point,” I admit. “I suppose you won’t, but maybe a part of your soul will remember for you. All I know is that you can’t go on living this way. Please, Nathan, let me do my job and help you move on.”
Nathan seems to let go of some of his fear by lowering his arms and legs. As he sits cross-legged in his corner, I see him glance down at my hand on the bed. I raise my arm and stretch out my hand to him a second time.
“Are you sure I won’t feel any pain?” Nathan asks, his voice quivering with nervousness.
“Not even a twinge,” I assure him as my heart races inside my chest. This is it. This is the moment I’ve been waiting years to experience once again. “I’m the angel of death, Nathan. I can remove your soul from your body before your mind can even register what’s happened to you. Let me prove to you that not all angels are liars. I know my title sounds a bit scary, but all I do is help people reach the afterlife. The only reason I was imprisoned here is because I was a little too good at my job.”
Nathan leans his torso forward. He reaches out for my hand but stops short of placing his on top of mine.
“If you ever get the chance, would you tell my family how much I love them?” Nathan asks. “And let them know that I’ll be waiting for them on the other side?”
“Of course, I will,” I lie. “Nothing would give me greater pleasure.” That’s not entirely true. If the members of Nathan’s family asked me to take their lives so they could join him in the great hereafter, that would give me the greatest joy of all.
Nathan finally lays his hand on mine. I grasp it gently, causing him to relax as he literally places his fate in my hand. Over the years, I’ve learned that those who are at peace with their passing tend to release the sweetest energy when their soul leaves their body. People call me the angel of death, but I’m more like a conductor helping their soul travel from the living world to the great beyond.
“Goodbye, Nathan. I wish you the best of luck in your new life.”
Before I’m forced to listen to anything else he has to say, I push his soul out of his body.
My reward is instantaneous.
Warm tendrils course through my veins like pure lightning, causing me to gasp in pleasurable response. It’s been so long since I felt this mind-bending bliss that my body trembles with ecstasy to the point where I feel like I might physically explode from the joy of it all. As I slowly float back down to reality, all I can think about is finding another soul to reap until I’ve satiated my hunger.
Then it happens.
My chest feels like it’s been lit on fire and the pure joy I just experienced is vanquished as if it never happened.
“Caleb,” I growl, knowing the intruder of my fun is punishing me for my little indiscretion. “Face the fact that your life, as you knew it, is over. There’s nothing you can do that will change that.”
Are you positive?
I scramble off the cot, looking around the room for the person who just spoke. It doesn’t take me long to realize the voice didn’t come from
an outside source. It came from within me.
“Caleb?” I ask, just to verify that I haven’t gone completely insane. “Is that you?”
Yes, you double-crossing bastard! How could you just leave Lora trapped inside that mountain? Go back there right now and take her home, or I swear you’ll regret it.
“You’re not the boss of me, you little weasel. I can do whatever—” The discomfort inside my heart becomes excruciating. I fall to my knees clutching my chest in a vain attempt to stop it. After a while, the pain finally subsides, and I’m able to catch my breath.
In relief, I lie down on the cold hard floor of the cell, staring up at the ceiling. “How are you able to do that?”
I’m not sure, Caleb answers, sounding as mystified as I feel about his ability to affect me physically. But it seems like everything I feel you feel a hundred-fold.
“If I had known this would happen, I never would have made the deal.” I feel cheated. Violated. And worst of all deceived.
If I had known you wouldn’t follow through with your promise, I never would have willingly given you my body! It looks like we’re both stuck with a deal that neither of us wants. Is there any way to end it? Can you just kill me off like you did Nathan?
“Our souls are linked, you fool, They can never be unlinked. What happens to one of us happens to us both from now until death, and I’m not even sure that will be able to separate us from each other.”
Well, that’s disappointing . . .
“Trust me, I would rather have stayed inside my prison for all eternity than live this way.”
I feel Caleb’s disgust at the thought of that and realize the feeling is mutual. Neither of us wants to be stuck with the other, but that’s the situation we find ourselves in.
You never intended to help us defeat Levi, did you?
“Why should I?” I scoff.
For starters, it’s the right thing to do. Even though you don’t want to admit it, I know you still care what God thinks about you.
