Champion (War Angel Academy Book 3)

by S. J. West

  As soon as we phase onto the patio of the cabin, Silas begins to pull away from me again. The wall he’s built between us since his return from the Void appeared insurmountable, but now I know he doesn’t hate me to the point of completely ignoring my existence.

  At the party, when he saw Caleb phase with Lora, he became frantic over her safety. In that moment, he acted on pure instinct, and I was the first person he came to for help. Joy filled my heart to bursting. His actions were proof that all might not be lost with him.

  “Thank you for coming to rescue me,” Lora says with a grateful smile. “I don’t know what that idiot was thinking.”

  “He was thinking that if he got you alone, he could have his way with you.” Silas’s anger at Caleb is understandable, but I hope it doesn’t cause problems down the line. We have a greater enemy coming for us and becoming distracted by a petty squabble won’t do any good.

  “Well, I’m home now thanks to the two of you.” Lora peers gratefully at us both. “Let’s just put tonight behind us. We have more important things to think about.”

  “Come on.” Silas tugs on her arm and tilts his head toward the cabin. “Let’s go inside and I’ll make you some coffee.”

  “One second.” This is the perfect opportunity to talk to Silas. I need to take advantage of whatever gratitude he feels for my help with Lora. “Could I have a word with you in private? I promise I won’t take up a lot of your time.”

  “I think that’s a good idea,” Lora says before Silas can shoot my invitation down. “I’ll be in the kitchen when you’re through.” Lora kisses him on the cheek before heading into the cabin. I’ll have to thank her for helping me later. Hopefully, he won’t feel like we cornered him into having this conversation.

  Silas turns to face me. His features are highlighted by the faint light coming from the house’s interior and the half-moon’s illumination. Even in such dim lighting, a storm brews behind his eyes.

  “Thanks for helping me find Lora.” Having to show me any type of gratitude makes his voice sound strained. “I suppose I owe you, so go ahead and say what’s on your mind. It’s obvious I won’t get any peace until you do.”

  Not a very good start. His words hurt, but it’s not like I haven’t earned his disdain.

  “I wanted to talk to you about your time in the Black Castle.”

  Silas snickers with disgust. “I bet you do.”

  “Yes, well, I thought you might have some questions about our relationship in your first life after what happened.”

  “Oh, you mean the one where you blackmailed me as a child to do your bidding? How could you use the life of a small defenseless puppy to force me to kill? Do you even understand how sick and twisted that is? What kind of father does that to his son? What kind of man does that to a child?”

  “A horrible one.” There’s no defending my actions. “I was a detestable person and an even worse father. I know that, and I’ve tried to make amends for it ever since you died. When the Void was created and I learned you were there, I knew I had to find you. It was my chance to finally make up for everything I put you through during your life. I used you in the worst ways possible. I know that, and I’ve spent the last thousand years trying to become a better man. One you could proudly call your father.”

  Silas’s hard gaze softens, but only a smidge.

  “Why did you hate me so much?” I can hear the little boy I tortured in his voice. The sound breaks me all over again.

  “It wasn’t you I hated. It was me.”

  “What does that even mean?” Silas runs his fingers through his hair in frustration.

  “Do you remember the story of the Watchers and our punishment for disregarding God’s instructions to us while we were on Earth?”

  “Yes,” he says. “He told you not to take human wives but you did. For that, you were cursed with a thirst for human blood and your wives became pregnant with monsters, like me.”

  “You were never a monster, Silas,” I say adamantly. “I was the monster. I let my hate for God overshadow everything in my life, even my relationship with you. Instead of loving you and seeing you as the last gift your mother gave me, I funneled all of my self-loathing and anger directly to you. That was my greatest sin. I never should have done that. It took losing you to make me realize what a fiend I had become.”

  Silas remains silent as he stares at me. I have no idea what thoughts are going through his mind, but I hope the months we’ve spent together on Laed-i factor into his judgment of me. When I see his lips part as he takes in a breath before speaking, I know my relationship with him is about to be decided.

  “I know you’re no longer the man I saw in my memory.” His words allow me to breathe again with cautious optimism. “But you need to realize something. Olivia forced me relive the moment you made me into a murderer over and over again.”

  “I know she did, but—”

  Silas holds up a hand to stop my words.

  “I’m never going to be able to forget the hate you had for me back then, and quite frankly, knowing what I do now makes me wonder what else you did to me in my first life. How much of your self-loathing did you project onto me?”

  I pray he doesn’t ask me to relive that time with him again. I’ve worked so hard to put all of that behind me and become a better man.

  “There are no words to describe how sorry I am for what I did to you,” I say. “And I know I don’t deserve a second chance but that’s exactly what I’ve been given. I want to be the father you should have had in your first life, but I won’t push you to accept me. If you need more time to sort through your feelings, I understand. All I ask is that you keep in mind that I love you, and I’m here for you in whatever capacity you want me to fill. If you only want a friend, I can be that. If you can find it in your heart to see me as your father again, I would love nothing more than to go back to the way things were. I’ll do whatever you want, but please, don’t shut me out of your life. That’s the one thing that would break my heart and shatter my soul.”

  The hatred in Silas’s eyes slowly dissipates. Perhaps my heartfelt words have finally broken down the wall separating us.

  “I think I just need some time,” he finally says. “If the memory proved anything, it’s the fact that I don’t really know you. I understand that you’ve changed, but you can’t just write off your past like it never happened. It’s a part of you whether you want to own up to it or not. If I’m ever going to feel like I can trust you again, I need to know the man you were and how you changed into the man you are now. Are you willing to share that part of yourself with me?”

  “I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back.” My heart feels heavy with dread just thinking through my sordid past and having to openly share it with him. “All I ask is that when you learn about all of the horrible things I’ve done in my life, you won’t judge me too harshly. I’m not proud of my past. It disgusts me. I’ve done everything in my power to forget it and move on, but for you, I’ll delve back into those memories no matter how difficult it is to remember the old me.”

  Silas nods slowly, accepting my pledge to open the book of my life for him.

  “I appreciate that,” he says.

  “Do you want me to start now?” I ask, half-hoping he says yes and half-hoping he says no.

  “It’s been a busy day for both of us. Let’s just go inside. I want to make sure Lora is okay. She may have acted like what Caleb did didn’t bother her, but I can tell it did. Also . . .” Silas falls silent like he’s trying to find the right words to express what he’s thinking. “Was it just me or was Caleb acting weird at the wedding?”

  “I honestly can’t say I was paying much attention to him,” I admit. “What did you notice?”

  Silas sighs before placing his hands on his hips with his legs braced apart.

  “He kept lurking behind that large oak tree for one. I mean, I get it. He just lost his sister and all, but he’s normally a little more sociable. He also kep
t turning down invitations to dance by some of the girls there. When he pretended to be Kai, he was all about flirting with the girls at school. And . . . he walked funny.”

  “Walked funny?” I had no idea Silas was watching Caleb with such a critical eye. “In what way?”

  “Stiff, like he was uncomfortable in his own body. Then weird, when he tried to loosen up. I don’t know.” Silas rubs the back of his neck as he thinks about what he saw. “Maybe I’m making something out of nothing, but I think we need to keep an eye on him. Not only for Lora’s sake but everyone else’s too. For all we know, he could have his own agenda here that has nothing to do with Levi’s plans.”

  “Do you have any idea what he might be thinking?” The idea that Caleb has some ulterior motive that has nothing to do with Levi seems odd, but Silas has also spent more time around the boy than I have. I trust his judgment. If he thinks something is up with Caleb, I’ll need to warn the others so we can all keep an eye on him.

  “No clue,” Silas says, dropping his arms back by his sides. “I just think we need to watch him.”

  “Agreed. Why don’t you head inside? I need to return to the wedding for a few minutes. I promised Lilith I would return there after we found Lora. If I know her at all, she’ll worry until she sees me again.”

  “Sounds good.” Silas turns and starts to make his way to the cabin.

  “Silas,” I call out. He turns to look at me questioningly. “Thank you.”

  “What are you thanking me for?”

  “Not everyone is willing to give someone who wronged them a second chance. I may not deserve it, but I am grateful you’re willing to do that for me.”

  “I’m not doing it for you,” he says bluntly. “I’m doing it for me because I think I would regret it if I didn’t. You’re the only father I’ll ever have, and if I have kids one day, I want you to be a part of their lives.”

  The possibility of grandchildren almost makes me giddy with excitement.

  “I want to be a part of their lives too. Have you talked with Lora about having children already?”

  Even in the moonlight, I see Silas blush profusely.

  “I think we need to have our first date first, don’t you? We haven’t even kissed yet.”

  “You haven’t?” I can’t help but be surprised. I thought for sure he had crossed that small threshold with her by now. Silas has always been very respectful where Lora is concerned, and I applaud him for his restraint.

  Silas shrugs. “The timing has been off.”

  “If you allow me, I might be able to help you with that.”

  “How?” Silas says skeptically.

  “I may be practically as old as the universe, but I know a thing or two about romance. Ask Lora out on a date for tomorrow night and leave the rest to me.”

  “Really?” He doesn’t sound confident in my skills. I feel slightly offended.

  “Really. Now go find your girl. Lilith and I will be home soon.”

  Silas strolls over to the side door of the cabin while I phase back to the wedding.

  I find Lilith right where I left her, at the front of the chapel and out of sight of the others. When Silas first came to me for help, the three of us walked over here so we wouldn’t cause any worry to the others present. My wife is pacing back and forth, nervously wringing her hands, but she comes to a complete stop when she sees me.

  “Did you find her?” she asks, looking frantic.

  “She’s fine. I took her and Silas back home because that’s where Lora wanted to go.”

  Lilith sighs in relief and places a hand over her heart. “Thank, God. Where did he take her?”

  “It was a planet I don’t remember ever visiting.”

  Now that her worry has been erased, Lilith’s anger bubbles to the surface as she places her hands on her hips. It’s a stance she only does when she’s fuming mad.

  “And why exactly did he take her there? Was he trying to kidnap her?”

  “He tried to kiss her.” I can’t prevent a smile of amusement. “From what I could tell, he got a fist to the jaw in return before Silas and I got there.”

  “Good for her! I don’t care if he lost his sister. He shouldn’t have forced himself on Lora. There’s no excuse for that. None whatsoever.”

  I smile at my wife’s wrath and quickly learn it was a mistake.

  “Why are you smiling?” she demands. “None of this is funny.”

  I shorten the distance between us and take her into my arms.

  “I wasn’t smiling at what happened to Lora. I was smiling because seeing you so wound up about something makes you even sexier.”

  Lilith rolls her eyes in exasperation but a hint of a smile curves her lips.

  “I worry about her.” She plays with the collar of my suit jacket, a thoughtful look on her face. “In a lot of ways, she’s naïve about the world, and now that she has a soul, her emotions have to be ten times as sensitive. I wish I could take her away from here to give her time to sort through what she’s going through. She lost Lux and gained a soulmate at the same time. That has to be hard on her.”

  Lilith looks up in to my eyes. Her expression exude such warmth, all I want to do is hold her close and ignore the rest of the world. The child she has growing inside her will be a testament not only to our love but of the new beginning we’ve been given.

  “I wish I could do the same with Silas. He finally talked to me, by the way.”

  “How did that go?” she asks in surprise. “What did he say? Is he willing to forgive you for what he saw while he was in the Black Castle?”

  “He said he feels like he doesn’t know me because all he knows about my past is what he saw in that memory. We made a deal that if I tell him more about the way I was, he would make an effort to get back to where we were before all of this happened. It was the most I could have hoped for, and I think he means what he said.”

  “I’m so happy for you.” Lilith tightly wraps her arms around my waist. “It’s not exactly what you wanted, but at least he didn’t shut you out completely. It’s a step in the right direction.”

  I know she’s right, but it doesn’t mean I’m looking forward to delving back into a past I spent over a thousand years trying to atone for. Silas could have easily ignored my request and pushed me even further out of his life. Instead, he’s given me a way to reconcile with him, and I don’t intend to waste it.

  “Why don’t we go home?” I wrap her hands with mine. “I don’t think Malcolm and the others will miss us much here.”

  “I would like that, but I don’t want to take Kodi and Sariah away so soon. They’re having fun with their friends.”

  “No worries. I’ll come back for them later. Say, in an hour?”

  Lilith nods. “That would be perfect.”

  Without another word, I phase us back home to our kitchen. We find Silas and Lora sitting at the table talking. Lora has her hands around a steaming mug of coffee. When she sees us, she smiles. Silas follows her gaze but doesn’t show any reaction to our presence. Instead, he takes two swigs from his glass of water.

  “I heard what Caleb did.” Lilith walks over to the table and I humbly follow her lead. She pulls out a chair directly across from Lora and plops down. “I can’t believe he kissed you. What gall!”

  As I sit next to my wife, I notice Lora fidget in her chair.

  “I would rather not talk about him,” Lora says. “It’s over and I handled his punishment. I don’t think he’ll be making that same mistake twice.”

  “He better not,” Silas grumbles, his countenance radiating pent-up aggravation.

  “How did you like the wedding? I thought Liana looked gorgeous, didn’t you?” Lora asks Lilith.

  The intent behind her question isn’t lost on me. Lora isn’t the type to chat about flowers and wedding dresses. She purposely changed the subject to get Silas’s mind off of Caleb. I’m grateful for that. The last thing we need is the three of them fighting with one another.

  Afte
r about fifteen minutes of wedding talk, we receive an unexpected visitor.

  “Jered!” Desmond’s distressed shout comes from the direction of the living room. I stand and immediately phase to him to see what’s wrong. Not only do I find Desmond there, but also Kodi and a distraught Sariah.

  “What’s wrong?” I look them both up and down for injuries. “Are either of you hurt?”

  “We’re fine.” Sariah wipes away the tears from her eyes.

  “It’s the baby,” Desmond tells me. “He’s missing.”

  At first, I’m positive I misunderstood what Desmond said.

  “Did you say Cal’s baby is missing?” Maybe I have too much wax build up in my ears. Dear God, please let that be the case. “Are you saying someone kidnapped him?”

  “That’s the assumption at the moment,” Desmond says anxiously. “Ethan is asking that we all help in the search.”

  “The search for what?” Lilith asks as she, Lora, and Silas enter the room. “Sariah, why are you crying?”

  With a heavy heart, I answer her questions.

  “Cal’s baby has been kidnapped,” I tell them.

  “What?” Lora practically flies into the room. “Was he taken from the reception?”

  “No,” Desmond answers. “Jules and Ethan took the baby home to feed him. Ethan said they couldn’t have been gone from the nursery for more than a few seconds, but that’s when it happened.”

  “So it was probably someone who can phase.” It seems like a logical deduction considering the facts. “If anyone went in and out of the room using the door, either Jules or Ethan should have seen them.”

  “We’re assuming that’s what happened,” Desmond says. “But they’ve also started questioning the staff at the castle. Any of them could have played a role in this. I don’t think we can leave out the possibility that the Wardens may have orchestrated it somehow.”

  “I need to go to the castle and help with the search,” I tell Lilith.

  “I’m going too.” The determination in Lora’s eyes warns me not to argue for her to stay behind.

  “Me too,” Silas says, coming to stand with us. “If nothing else, I can at least help comfort Cal. He’s probably going out of his mind with worry right now. After everything we went through to get the baby back home safe and sound, this happens.”