The Sabertooth's Mate (Ice Age Alphas Book 2)

by Lily Thomas

  “You… are still… here?” Ezi asked, her throat a bit hoarse and painful. After delivering her child successfully, she’d passed out for a couple of days. Tira and Aiyre hadn’t slept a wink in that time as they’d taken care of her and her newborn child, and Ezi wasn’t sure how she would repay them.

  “Only until you are ready for your child.” Aiyre moved closer.

  Ezi frowned as her eyes slid down to the bundle of furs Aiyre had grasped in her arms. “No.”

  Aiyre’s lips turned down in a frown as she slowly walked across the hut. “Please. Just hold her once, Ezi. I think you will fall in love the moment you see her small nose and big eyes.”

  “No.” Ezi placed her hands behind her, stiffly pushed herself into a sitting position, and glanced away from them. It should have been Aiyre who’d become the mother, not her. “You were meant to be a mother more than I.”

  “But she is yours, and she is beautiful.” Aiyre cooed down at the baby in her arms as she wiggled a finger at the child.

  “She will only remind me of what I’ve lost.” Ever since waking up from her fever-induced sleep a couple of days ago, she hadn’t wanted to hold her child. Before the birth, she may have been excited to meet her child, but now that the baby was here, she feared the memories it would bring back. The hurt it would bring back. There was no father for her to celebrate with over the successful if scary, birth.

  “Ah.”

  Ezi glanced back over at Aiyre, who was gently jiggling the baby in her arms. “What?”

  “You are afraid she will look like Drakk.” Aiyre stared down at the face in her arms, while wiggling a finger in the giggling baby’s face. “I suppose there is a hint of him in there, but she might also help you to overcome his death. She’s a part of both of you.”

  Ezi just wasn’t sure she was ready.

  “How are we today?” Tira popped her head inside the hut before striding in with a small leather pack slung over one of her shoulders.

  Ezi smiled, thankful for the interruption. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Aiyre move away from her, the baby still clutched in her arms, and a pang of jealousy crept into her heart. She wanted to love that child as much as Aiyre did. She really did.

  “I’m feeling much better, and I’m hoping to get out of here.” She waved a hand at the hut that surrounded her. She’d spent so much time in here recovering that she now knew exactly how many stitches there were in the fur-lined sides of the hut and how many bones held up the structure.

  “Good.” Tira beamed down at her. “I’m hoping to get you out of this hut for some fresh air.” Tira bent down next to her. “Has Aiyre let you hold your baby yet, or is she being greedy?”

  Aiyre frowned at Tira for her teasing. “I’ve tried to give her the child, but she refuses to take it from me.” Aiyre’s lips fell down in a flat line.

  “Some mothers need a little time, especially after such a difficult birth.” Tira eased the tension in floating through the air. “Thankfully, Eron’s prays to the goddess of fertility and women worked.” Tira sent Ezi a relived smile. “The birth could have ended in two deaths. I’ve seen it end in deaths before. Is there a name for the child yet?”

  Ezi shook her head. She had tried her best not to even think about the child. Before the birth, she’d somewhat been looking forward to the child, but now that it was here it scared her. All the emotions it brought back were so hard to handle. How could she be expected to give it a proper name when she wanted nothing to do with it?

  “We must name the child, and we must introduce her to the gods.” Tira gave her a stern look, “You must introduce her to the gods.”

  Ezi shook her head again.

  “You would risk angering the gods and endangering the child’s life? How can they help to protect her when they don’t even know her?” Tira’s head shot back in surprise. “They helped me and Eron save the both of you. You owe them the respect of naming and introducing her to the gods.”

  Ezi didn’t even know how to answer that. It was true. The gods needed to give the child their blessing so she could hopefully live a long and fruitful life, but that would mean Ezi would have to hold the child, look at the child.

  “They will be patient with you to a point,” Tira relented, “but they will expect you to show them the newest member of this tribe.”

  “We should let her rest.” Aiyre placed the baby in a nearby fur-lined reed basket before walking over to them. “Ake will be in soon to feed her if you still don’t feel like it.”

  Ezi shook her head. She couldn’t even feed her own child. Her breasts felt heavy and uncomfortable with all the milk still inside, but the discomfort wasn’t intolerable. Not yet.

  Aiyre nodded her head as she ushered a reluctant Tira out of the hut.

  “Make sure to eat some of the food I brought and eat some of the herbs,” Tira called out over her shoulder as they both left the hut.

  Once they were gone from sight, Ezi sighed in relief and relaxed back on her bed of furs. Her eyes sunk closed as she laid there, but the silence and peace didn’t last long.

  Soon she could hear shuffling and mewing noises from the bundle of furs nearby. Then the child let out weak little cries. It pulled at her heart because she knew the child was hungry, and she was more than capable of feeding the child.

  Her breasts were near bursting with the milk in them.

  And there was only one way for her to release the pressure.

  Rolling over, Ezi gave her back to the child that laid not far away. She couldn’t look at that child’s face. At Drakk’s face. The child would do nothing but remind her of what she couldn’t have, and for the first time, she resented Drakk. He’d left her here in this world with a baby that would only remind her of him.

  It had been cruel of him.

  As she shut her eyes once more, she did her best to ignore the little sounds coming from behind her. But the baby wasn’t having it. Its cries grew louder, and an instinct she couldn’t ignore reared its head inside her.

  Rising from her bed, Ezi stood on shaky feet. She’d been close to death only a few days ago, but the gods and Tira had been able to bring her back from the brink. Every time she though the gods had given up on her, they’d brought her back from the brink, and she believed it to be a bad joke.

  From where she stood in the hut, she couldn’t see the child among the fur-lined basket, but as she crept closer with tentative steps, she finally caught sight of the chubby-faced child.

  The baby glanced over, and a gurgling smile beamed up at her from the basket.

  Ezi’s steps faltered as she stared down at the child. She could see Drakk’s eyes staring right back at her. Her heart shattered inside her chest. The child raised its hands, almost seeming to recognize who she was to it.

  “I can’t promise to be perfect.” Ezi bent down next to the fur basket and slowly pulled the child out, cradling her head. “You remind me so much of your father, and I only wish he was here now to see you.”

  Pulling aside a part of her animal skin shirt she wore, she bared a breast, and without any encouragement, the child latched on the moment Ezi pressed the child’s lips to her nipple. She sucked hungrily, and relief washed through Ezi. Her breasts felt like they would burst at any moment like an overfull animal intestine water sack, and she was thankful for the relief.

  Walking back over to her bed of furs, she took a seat while the child suckled at her teat.

  “I want to love you.” Ezi longed for nothing more.

  Running a hand over the sun-streaked patch of hair on the child’s head, she wondered if it would darken like hers and Drakk’s. Little brown eyes looked up at her, trusting, dependent.

  It pulled at Ezi’s heart, but she distanced herself from the feelings. If she wasn’t careful, she would end up reliving her loss of Drakk over and over again. If she was going to love this child, then she needed to learn how to separate her feelings, so there’d finally be room in her heart and mind to accept the child.


  “I’m here to feed the child.” Ake’s head popped inside the hut.

  “I’m already feeding her. You may leave.” Ezi was quick to respond as she glanced up.

  She watched as Ake’s eyes widened, and then a slow smile spread across her lips as her eyes landed on the child in Ezi’s arms.

  “You may leave.” Ezi was getting tired of being watched by everyone in this clan. Didn’t they have anything else to do with their lives? She could think of plenty of activities that needed to be done around the village.

  Ducking her head, Ake left without another word, and the hut flap waved behind her.

  Ezi didn’t need anyone drawing conclusions about her feeding the child in her arms. Her breasts were full and heavy with milk, and this feeding was nothing but a way to relieve the throbbing pain. Her teats had begun to leak milk just a day ago.

  Pulling the child’s head away from her first breast, she switched the baby to the other breast before the baby filled its stomach. The child latched onto the second breasts just as eagerly as it had to the first.

  Ezi allowed herself to relax against one of the mammoth bones that supported the hut. Her eyes closed in pleasure as relief swam through her.

  Then a couple of images of Tor flashed through her mind.

  No one had seen Tor in many moons. He’d disappeared right after she’d rejected him, and there were many in the clan that wondered if he was even alive. Even Ezi wondered. She wasn’t sure how long someone could stay away from their clan. If he was alive, then his ability to live on his own was impressive. There was no way Ezi could leave her clan for such an extended period.

  She felt nothing towards his loss in the village. If anything, she was thankful his intense eyes were long gone, but it was strange that he hadn’t come back. A clan was the safest place to be in this world of dangerous animals and unknowns.

  One moment he’d been here professing his desire to be her mate, and then he’d disappeared.

  But despite all the time that’d passed, she could still recall what he looked like clearly. His piercing sky blue eyes would be hard to forget, especially when they’d always been so centered on her. And his head of full black hair with a bushy beard covering the bottom half of his face. It was like he was standing right in front of her. She remembered him so clearly. If she reached out, she was sure she’d be able to feel the prickle of the hair on his face.

  Ezi’s eyes shot open as she growled in frustration. Drakk’s memory was quickly fading, to the point where she doubted she even remembered his face correctly, yet she could clearly see Tor. And it annoyed her. Tor was nothing more than a sabertooth shifter, and a part of the clan that had ruined the life she’d known and loved.

  “Ezi?”

  Glancing over to the entrance of the birthing hut, Ezi’s eyes landed on Aiyre.

  A smile spread over her face, and Ezi frowned at her.

  Clearly, Ake had decided to spread the news about her feeding the baby. “My breasts were hurting, and this provides them with relief.” She said a little defensively.

  The smile dropped off Aiyre’s face for a second, but then a smaller one replaced it. Making her way into the hut, Aiyre plopped down beside her and gazed longingly at the baby in Ezi’s arms.

  “Would you like to hold her?”

  Aiyre shook her head. “I held her enough while you recovered. It is time for the both of you to bond.” Her clan mate hugged her with one arm around her shoulders, “We do need to do an introduction ceremony for the gods though. She will need them in her life to help guide her and look after her.”

  “I have to be there for it. No one can take my place?”

  Aiyre shrugged a shoulder. “You don’t have to be there. I figured you would like to be there though, and it might bring this little one some comfort when Eron spreads ash paste across her body.”

  Ezi glanced down at the baby as it pulled away from her breast, having suckled its fill. Placing her shirt back into place, Ezi propped the baby up against her shoulder as she lightly jiggled it. She had no idea what she was doing, but she figured she’d let her instincts take over when it came to handling the child.

  “Can I tell Eron we will do the ceremony?” Aiyre pressed.

  After a couple of seconds, Ezi breathed, “Yes.”

  Aiyre smiled in relief. “Good. If you can meet us at the caves, I can fetch Eron from his hut.”

  “Now?” Ezi was surprised it would be so soon. She hadn’t expected them to be ready, but then again, what had she expected from Eron? When it came to the gods that shaman was always ready to communicate with them.

  “You know Eron. He is always prepared for anything.” Aiyre rose from her seat. “Will you meet us there?”

  “Yes,” Ezi said because she knew no one was about to let her stay inside the birthing hut in peace and quiet. She also knew she would be kicked out of the birthing hut and forced to go live in the communal women’s hut.

  Without another word, Aiyre rose and left the hut.

  With a sigh, she glanced down at the child’s head. Shifting the baby back into her arms, she stared down at the smiling baby face. It was so cute and chubby, and there was a rosy tint to its cheeks.

  She wanted nothing more than to be close to her child, but despite her wishes, she was still unable to feel close to the baby. She’d much rather have Drakk beside her than this child. She didn’t blame the child for Drakk’s death, because she fully realized it was the sabertooth shifters that killed him, but she was still left longing for his tender caresses.

  The baby swatted at a leather strap on her shirt that dangled down with a couple of deer bone beads on the end. The chubby hands hit the beads, sending the string flying through the air in back and forth movements.

  A smile spread across her face as she watched the joy that filled the baby’s eyes.

  “I know you’re having fun, but we must introduce you to the gods and let them name you,” Ezi told the baby even though she knew the baby wouldn’t understand a single word she was saying. “Or Eron will be cross with us.”

  Rising from her position, she bundled the child up in her arms and left the hut. The bright sunlight seared her eyes, and her eyelids slammed shut as she paused right outside the hut. It’d been days since she last left the hut, and her eyes had trouble handling the sudden sunlight.

  Slowly, Ezi cracked her eyes until she could handle the bright light of the outdoors. She glanced around the village, getting her bearings. It felt like an eternity since she’d last been outside, but nothing around the village had changed reassuring her that it’d only been a few days.

  “Are you ready?” Tira came up beside her, her voice soft and motherly.

  “Yes. You were right about the child needing to meet the gods.” This was her way to try and get closer to her child. Maybe if she pleased the gods, they would lessen the hurt of Drakk’s death and open her heart to love the child in her arms.

  “Eron will be waiting for you in the caves. As you know, it will be just you, Eron, the child, and the gods.”

  She nodded her head. The ceremony of the sabertooths wasn’t that different from her pronghorn clan. Although, if her mother had still been alive, she too would have been welcomed into the ceremony.

  More despair came up to choke her. It hadn’t only been Drakk she’d lost, but her entire family. None of them had made it out of the sabertooth attack alive. Her mother, father, and her brother had been lost. Their deaths also weighed heavily on her, and she questioned why the gods had allowed her to live while taking so many.

  Quickly, she glanced over at Tira’s eyes. Brown eyes with golden flecks in them, eyes that hid a predator.

  Unnerved by where her thoughts were once again leading, she left Tira behind. Ezi weaved her way through the village of huts. And as she walked through the village, people would stop and stare, trying to get a glance at the newest addition to the clan.

  A woman strode up to her. “May I see?”

  Ezi loosened her grip
on the baby so that the woman would be able to see the child more clearly.

  “Beautiful.” The woman cooed, her head descending close to the baby.

  Suddenly flashes of sabertooth teeth from the night of the attack flew through her mind, and she yanked the child back, away from the woman.

  A startled gasp escaped the woman before she leaned away.

  Ezi rushed away with quick steps, not wanting to explain the sudden change in her mood. She might not like the memories the baby dredged up, but it didn’t mean she trusted any sabertooth shifter around her child.

  The child cried out a few times at all the jostling as Ezi’s hurried steps carried them away.

  Rushing through the huts, she didn’t slow down until she left the village behind and made her way towards the cave system nearby.

  The baby calmed down the closer they neared the cave system, seeming to sense they were about to commune with the gods.

  “I wonder what they will name you.” Only the gods knew, but she still wondered about it. She could name the child, but she wasn’t sure she should be trusted with such a decision. A name had importance. It could shape the entire child’s future.

  As she walked the well-traveled path leading from the sabertooth village to the caves, she found the silence peaceful. Some of the stress left her shoulders. Until the sabertooth attack, she’d always been relaxed and comfortable about the world she lived in, but now she found herself always afraid. She felt like a skittish rabbit, and she wasn’t fond of the feeling.

  Soon a cliffside rose up in front of her as some of the trees disappeared. The mouth of the cave gaped wide in front of her, threatening to eat her whole. But it was another place that she didn’t fear. This was where people like her could communicate with the gods. It was a safe place.

  Ezi broke into the caves, the dark dampness encompassing her with a welcoming embrace. She’d seen the inside of this tunnel before, several times in fact, and she knew there was nothing on the cave floor to trip her. It’d been rubbed smooth by the many generations of sabertooth shifters who’d used this cave for all their ceremonies.