by LC Lehesaho
"Here's your well-earned pudding for studying so hard," Luke says, sliding some chocolate-flavored deliciousness across the table, while he sits down facing me in the crowded cafeteria.
"Oh, yes!" I grab it and tear it open without hesitation. We were late this morning, so we didn't have time to discuss anything, just a quick how are you doing. So, I stuff the first spoonful into my mouth and point at him with the spoon. "Where do you live?"
"Next to McDonald's on Fifth Street, why?"
"Wanna have a sleepover?"
Luke laughs, all cute and bouncy. "You wanna come to my place? While you live in a bloody castle?"
I shrug my left shoulder, spooning more pudding in my mouth. "Yeah, and it's not a castle. It's a mansion, but whatever. I thought I could stay a couple of days, is it okay?"
"Bloody hell, seriously? Yes, fuck, yes." He looks like it's Christmas. Suddenly, he goes rigid. "Uh, when?"
"Today."
"Oi, fuck me." He grabs the collar of his T-shirt, like he’s suffocating. "I haven't cleaned up. It's a mess with a capital M."
Yes, my fucking day is saved. "Great, I love cleaning. We're gonna have so much fun."
"Uh, what? No, you're not coming to clean my apartment." Luke shakes his head. "No, no."
"I can do it in my lingerie," I joke.
Well, not quite a joke because I really want to clean and if it's the only way he lets me do it, I'm on it.
"Okay, yes, you are more than welcome," he says, eyes sparkling with amusement.
"Yes! You made my day."
He smirks, tousling his hair, while he takes a lazy look around. His eyes sharpen as he sees something. "Hey, isn't that your brother?"
I trail his eyes and see what he sees. Tiger is leaning against the railing, which separates the two levels of the cafeteria, a takeaway cup in his hand and eyes on us. There's a sinister smile playing on his lips, which is partly hot as fuck and somewhat scary as shit. His leather jacket hugs his shoulders, and the black T-shirt under it is like another skin, licking his sculpted body, and the way he leans to the railing pulls the jacket wide open, leaving it all on display. His dark brown hair is just messy enough to make you want to stick your fingers in it and sit on his face.
...and this is precisely what I'm not supposed to think about.
I clear my throat from sudden dryness. "Yeah, that's him."
At that, Tiger straightens and walks toward us. Panic hits me like a fully-loaded truck. I try to stare at him, yelling inside my head 'don't you fucking dare come over here', and I can see he reads me perfectly, but the motherfucker just spreads his grin wider.
"Hello, Care Bears," Tiger says when he gets next to our table and sits next to me. My ears are probably redder than a fire truck, as I try to keep my appearance relaxed, but what I end up doing is staring at him with horror in my eyes.
He brushes my leg with his, before turning his gaze to Luke, raising a hand over the table. "I owe you an apology, man."
"For what?" Luke takes his hand and they share a firm handshake, but I start to suspect that maybe Tiger is here to poison Luke or something.
"Well…" Tiger leans his back to the seat, swinging his hand over my shoulders. I swear, I'm sweating bullets. "I acted like an asshole when we met. Sorry about that."
Luke is not fooled. "Here or at Purgatory?"
Tiger snaps his fingers. "Oh, clever boy, aren't you? Pick either one you like."
"Is this you not being an asshole?" Luke asks, keeping his swag because I'm sure he never really gets mad. "If so, I'm not convinced of your people skills."
"What do you know, sis, I almost like the guy," Tiger says, pointing a finger toward Luke. "He's sharp."
"Tiger." I warn. "What do you want?"
His dark eyes sink to me, and without a word, I know to shut my mouth.
"What do I want? A lot of things, but right now." He pauses for a second, making me nervous. "I want to get to know the lucky guy who's been dating my sister."
I swear to God I want to smack him. "Nice. Well, Tiger." I make a gesture toward Luke on the other side of the table. "Here's Luke and so on. Now, you know him. Besides we’re not dating, we’re friends. Shouldn't you be going to class or something?"
I don't know what game he is playing, but I know better than to play with him. Not like this, because there is no guarantee that Tiger won't blurt out what we did yesterday.
And not that it’s any of Luke's business because we agreed to stay in the friend zone, but still everyone thinks that Tiger is my actual brother. No one in the whole city knows that he isn't really blood related.
I can see Luke's eyes on us as we keep staring at each other, but I don't dare to move my eyes yet. He's so goddamn unpredictable that I wouldn't be exactly surprised if he suddenly slit Luke's throat open. If he tries, I'm ready.
Tiger takes a sip from his coffee, eyes on me over the cup's rim, and they flicker with wickedness. For some weird fucking reason, I'm overly intrigued by his background now. Maybe because we... upgraded. He now knows all of my deepest corners, and I want to know his.
"I have twenty minutes free, so don't worry about my studies, sis," Tiger drawls, as he places his hand with the cup to the table. All casually. Then his eyes go back to Luke. "Gimme your address."
"No!" I bark out, and Luke's eyes ping-pong between us, not knowing who to obey. I throw my hand toward him as a stop sign and shove my elbow in Tiger's side, getting his attention back on me. There's a goddamn smile on his lips as he lays his dark eyes on me.
"Just so I know where you are if something unexpected happens." He pauses for a second. "Worm."
That's not really what he wanted to call me. His eyes whispered baby girl. The tone of his voice says it, even if the words are different, and I'm about to drown in shame right fucking now.
Before I can counter, Luke opens his mouth and blurts his address. Stupid boy. Amusement plays on Tiger's lips as he watches me like he's won something. "Thanks, how helpful of you, Aussie." His gaze goes to Luke. "How's Bubbles by the way?"
Luke's brows pop to his hairline. "Do I even wanna know why you know my aunt's dog's name?"
I slap my palm to my face, throwing my head back. "Fuck you, Tiger, seriously."
I should've known that he came here to mess up things with Luke. Or at least try, apparently Luke doesn't get disturbed so easily because now he looks slightly irritated with Tiger.
"I thought you'd appreciate my politeness, making conversation and all," Tiger says, sounding way too happy.
"Yeah, no."
"Bloody hell," Luke gasps when he checks the clock on the wall. "I gotta go, I'm late. See you later."
I turn to Luke with a smile on my face. "I'll text you."
"Nice talk," he throws to Tiger before leaving, annoyance coloring his voice. I watch him go and take a breath for the first time in minutes. Slowly, I meet Tiger's gaze, his arm still across my shoulders, a little too close. I lean further away from him.
"What was that?"
He pulls me back close. "What do you think it was, baby?"
I roll my eyes at him. "Stop fucking around, Tiger." Then I gather my storming thoughts and steady my racing heartbeat. "You scared the shit out of me. Leave Luke alone, please."
"Were you afraid that I would carve his guts out right here?" he whispers in my ear, and I push him back, shocked that he clearly doesn't care who sees us. We've always been close, but like this in the middle of the day? His arm around my shoulders, our bodies flush against each other, and Tiger leaning into me... this is intimate. Not a friend thing. A brother-sister thing.
About that...
"Is she dead?" I blurt out and smack my face to the table in my mind—smooth, Cobra. Go me.
Tiger stiffens next to me, and I feel the tension gathering in his muscles, like a bomb ready to explode. He knows who I'm talking about without even mentioning her name.
"Why the fuck are you suddenly digging?" Tiger pulls away from me, eyes cold as ice.
<
br /> "I'm not digging, I just want to know about your sister—"
"Are you trying to find something you can use against me? Find more excuses so you don't have to forgive that I made a fucking mistake?"
I throw my hands up in surrender, heart screeching to a halt. "No! Jeez, no! That's not what I was—"
He stands up, ready to burst into flames, and cuts me off. "And you said I was playing dirty. Well, newsflash for you, baby girl, go fuck yourself. You've already got me on my knees, but don't fucking dare to kick me when I'm down."
My heart thunders in my chest, shocked by the misunderstanding. I run after him when he storms out of the cafeteria, taking the doors straight out toward the parking lot.
"Tiger, wait." I cling to his arm, and for my sake, he stops and doesn't drag me with him through the parking lot. "I didn't mean it like that, please listen to me."
When his eyes land on me, my breath catches because I've never seen him so cold. "Let go of me if you wanna keep your hands."
I don't let go.
"No, don't go, please. I'm sorry for how I let it out," I beg.
Tiger grabs my wrist and twists it, so hard that my hold loosens because it hurts like hell. "Don't ever fucking touch me if I tell you not to."
He shoves my hand away, giving me a gaze full of hate and something like... sorrow in it before he spins around, leaving me there shocked as fuck. I watch him jump on his Yamaha, unable to run after him anymore because I've never seen him burst into flames this fast. All that emotion was overpowering and he lashed out, and I can't comprehend why he poured it on me. I wasn't that rude. Okay, maybe I was gauche and could have asked more tactfully, but...
Tiger was so hurt.
The Devil's invention from Hell roars when he races from the parking lot with noxious speed. I pray to God, Satan, and everyone who listens that he won't crash—accidentally or deliberately.
35
Luke fumbles the keys from his pocket, balancing our groceries in another hand and manages to drop his phone to the pavement in the process.
"Oi, fuck me," he cusses, the Australian slang leaking out when he does.
I pick up his phone and stuff it in the back pocket of his jeans and take the keys from his hand. "Lemme help. Which one?'
"The red." Luke nods, adjusting the bags in his arms. I got a little carried away with shopping but let a woman who’s hungry, heartsick, and worried sick into a store… yeah, I bought shit.
Luke has been quieter than normal, but I don't blame him. I'd be too if it was revealed that his family had been investigating mine. I know Tiger got that info from Dad, he has the weirdest sense of humor.
I manage to get us to the hallway, and I follow him to the stairwell. His apartment is on the third floor, and when I open his front door, Luke speaks.
"It's messy, don't hate me."
I let out a laugh. "Don't stress. I live with a bunch of guys. I've seen everything."
"I tend to forget that fact quite easily."
I’m introduced to a couple of surfboards when I step inside, and where those are leaning against the wall, there's also a large bike and tons of Vans and Adidas sneakers on the floor. Clearly, my thing is guys with a shoe fetish. A wave of concern flashes over me when it makes me think of him, and I recheck my phone, just in case—still nothing. Tiger hasn't answered any of my calls, nor my texts.
I'm worried that he might have crashed or done something… my stomach twists into knots even thinking about it. Yeah, I haven't forgiven him for that, but I still love him to my core and never fucking ever hope anything bad for him.
"Make yourself at home. I'll take these to the fridge," Luke says as he walks past me toward the living room.
I take a quick look around; the bathroom door is straight off the hallway, and the small living room looks bigger than it is because every corner is used ideally. Luke was full of shit when he said that it's messy, like seriously? Just clothes all over like he dropped them wherever he undressed. He should see Puma's apartment, gosh.
I'm so fricking tired that the soft gray couch calls me to sink into it and sleep my worries away. The idea is ridiculous because I've never managed to sleep when I'm troubled, so why could I do it now?
Still, I choose the couch and snuggle myself to the soft corner while watching Luke in the kitchen. It is an open concept, and very practical. Like everything else in here.
He unpacks the groceries, all my puddings, and other unhealthy snacks. Everything looks so normal, easy, and like this, I can imagine what it is like to live an ordinary life.
What it would be like without this tremendous pressure inside.
I pick up my phone again because I can't concentrate on being here if I don't know that Tiger is okay.
We don't have to be together at the moment, but it doesn't mean that we aren't tied. One of us gets dropped from the end of the plank—we both sink to the bottom.
Still no message.
"Luke." I lift my gaze to him, and he looks at me over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow. "I need to make a call. I'll go outside, but it won't take long, okay?"
He walks to me, crouching beside the couch and reaches his hand to my cheek, stroking it with his thumb. There's the angelic gentleness in his eyes that's hard to comprehend. "You okay?"
My throat bobs when I try to swallow the anxiousness down, but it's a losing battle. Not even one word comes out of my mouth when I try.
"Come here," Luke says, pulling me into his arms and pressing me against his chest. "Everything will be okay, darling. If you're not ready to talk, it's okay. I'm still here whenever you need me."
I can't fight the sobs back, and I cling to him as if my life depends on it. It just might. His skin feels warm when I press my face to his neck, my tears streaming down on him. There are no words, nothing I can say to him.
I'm just too fucking jaded by everything.
Luke presses me harder against him like he knows how I need to be held. Like he knows that I'll break down if he doesn't keep me together.
I don't know how long it takes, but finally, I feel like I can breathe again.
"Sorry, I'm such a fucking mess," I whisper as I pull back from his arms, crossing my legs in front of me, and wipe the dried tears from my cheeks.
Luke takes my hand in his, his beautiful eyes finding mine, but I'm not ready to look at him. I'm too goddamn embarrassed about crying like that, letting myself be weak. I am weak, no doubt about it, but I could at least fake being stronger than this.
"Everyone is a mess at some point. It gets better, I promise."
He says it with such certainty that I almost believe it. I want to believe it.
"I really need to make a call, but—"
He stands up, leaning down to me and places a kiss to my forehead. "I'll pick up my laundry from the basement, so you can make it here."
"Goddamn, Luke. Why are you so nice to me?"
"I have no reason not to be. I like you and we're friends," Luke says with a beaming smile. "Where I come from we're nice to our friends."
"Yeah, explanation accepted." I force a smile on my face.
Luke smiles so bright that I'm sure that smile could make flowers grow.
"After I'm back, we'll make food and watch a movie, okay?" He walks backward to the front door, and I nod, watching his boyish appearance with sadness clouding my heart.
"Looking forward to it," I answer, telling the truth. I just have to make sure of one thing first.
After Luke's gone, I pick a number from my contacts and press the green icon. Fiddling with the pink strands in my hand, I place the phone to my ear, and I don't have to wait long before the line opens up.
"Hi, Angel. Everything okay?" Dad's voice comes to my ear, a little bit breathless.
"Sorta, what are you doing?"
"Running," he answers, and at that, I hear a seagull's shriek through the line. "What is it?"
I take a long inhale before answering. "I had a fight with Tiger, and he's not answerin
g his phone. Have you seen him? Has he come home yet?"
A short silence.
"He's running with me."
I drop my head back to the couch's backrest and let out a long exhale, feeling the weight easing from my chest. It doesn't disappear, it never does, but now I'm not crushing under it. "My God, I was worried. Put him on the phone, I need to talk to him."
An indistinct mumbling comes through the line when they talk, and then Dad's voice becomes clearer. "He doesn't want to talk to you right now."
I jerk myself up, sitting on the edge of the couch. "What the f-loving fuck? I want to hear his voice now. Put him on the phone, Dad, or I'm not coming back home." I know, my feelings are getting the best of me, and I shouldn't talk to him this way, nor should I be letting him know just how much I need Tiger.
But fuck it.
"Did you just threaten me, kiddo?"
"I did, and I suggest that you take it seriously. I need to speak with him."
Again, a short silence, and then I hear them talking. Voices are louder this time, obviously, because I pissed Dad off, and Tiger is probably just as angry as him. I still can't make sense of the words.
"What the fuck do you want?" Tiger's voice comes booming into my ear, and I feel like sinking into a warm puddle.
"You didn't answer my calls or texts, so... I just wanted to hear your voice," I say, leaning back on the cushions and pulling my knees to my chest. "Can he hear you?"
"No, he's running to the other end of the shore."
"Oh, good. I'm really sorry about how I phrased things. I was incredibly rude." This time, I keep track of what I let out of my mouth. "Please, don't be mad at me."
Quiet cussing comes through the line, and for a while, Tiger doesn't say anything to me. But I wait, giving him the space he needs now that I know he’s okay, sort of.
"So, you can be mad at me but I can't be mad at you, huh, baby?" He finally speaks.
"Not comparable," I tell him, and I can see in my mind how he tousles his hair right now and rolls his eyes at me. "I didn't mean to be rude. Are we cool?"
Now I can hear him letting out a sigh. "No, 'cause you're not home."
My time to roll my eyes. "I told you that I need time to think. I can't think straight when I'm around you. Gimme time."
